how to hit on girls without being creepy?

[mythago]

The jerks get to wake up to a rotating selection of beautiful women.

You know, having known a lot of successful jerks, I can't say I'd call the women they date 'beautiful'. Traditionally good-looking, I guess, in the sense that they spend a lot of time on their nails and diet and all that, but beautiful? Not really.

The jerks do get to date a lot of needy, high-maintenance women, I've noticed.

And I'd like to have a dollar for every 'nice' guy who whines he can't get a date, while he chases after a handful of psychowitches and leaves his perfectly attractive, perfectly nice-girl friends sitting on the sidelines.

 

[The_Universe]

A general note:

A T-shirt (no matter how witty or comfortable) is a t-shirt, not a personality. A t-shirt is not expression, it is clothing. To confuse the two automatically informs people not of the witty message and carefully chosen fashion statement, but instead that you'd rather let a cartoon character, or a dragon, or whatever "talk" to them, rather than talk to them yourself.

Clothes do not make the man, but they can un-make him. Make yourself, not your clothes, the messenger for everything you want the world to know about you. If your clothes are you, how much of you really exists without them? You've got a personality independent of that Penny-Arcade shirt!

It helps.

EDIT: You don't need to run out to J-crew and drop a grand on all the latest fashions. But you do need clothes that fit your physical form, and perhaps even flatter it. As a fat dude, I can relate to the idea that finding clothes to "flatter" isn't easy - but it's possible, and an absolute necessity. Just having a couple of pairs of jeans or khakis, a couple of non-message t-shirts, and a few sweaters and shirts from Sears will do wonders.

Chicks don't like sweatpants. Hell - nobody likes sweatpants. Sweatpants are the devil. Save a pair to sleep in, burn the rest.

 

[devilish]

Sweatpants are the devil.

HEY HEY HEY ...... you're insulting us devils. We hate sweatpants too!!!

 

[d20Dwarf]

It's funny all the rationalization that goes on by the non-jerks..."jerks only date HOT chicks, but have they ever married an average one?" Life's not always like the movies, the jerks don't always get their comeuppance. I just got engaged to someone that couldn't stand me the first time we met because I was being a chauvinistic jerk. She couldn't stand me so much that she couldn't wait to be around me again...and again. Now over 4 years later and we're still together...sure, I've mellowed out a bit, but we all have to make sacrifices, eh?

Hida isn't looking for a wife, and neither was I, which is why the advice is good. Teflon Billy knows what he's talking about.

 

[Drakmar]

One of the plus sides I have found to buying "fashionable" clothes is that you can go to a trendy store... walk in.. up to the cute little sales girl.. and say.. Hi.. I am trying to look good.. can you help me pick some stuff out. And I have found many of the shop girls quite like the confident yet helpless thing. (confident enough to walk up and say.. I don't know what looks good. etc.)

I do this cause I get to flirt with the girl.. and usually end up with some nice clothes.

Plus.. another thing to I have found.. when I where a suit.. I feel good. I look good. therefore I am confident. So I basically transferred the same view to my "relaxing" clothes.. I wear trendy clothes that make me look good. I don't wear the ones that make me look like a chode.

 

[Desdichado]

The complement "nice shoes" has a following phrase that would offend Eric's Grandma.

I thought we were saying this to a woman, not a man...

 

[The_Universe]

It's funny all the rationalization that goes on by the non-jerks..."jerks only date HOT chicks, but have they ever married an average one?" Life's not always like the movies, the jerks don't always get their comeuppance. I just got engaged to someone that couldn't stand me the first time we met because I was being a chauvinistic jerk. She couldn't stand me so much that she couldn't wait to be around me again...and again. Now over 4 years later and we're still together...sure, I've mellowed out a bit, but we all have to make sacrifices, eh?

Hida isn't looking for a wife, and neither was I, which is why the advice is good. Teflon Billy knows what he's talking about.

Also very true. Who better to tell you what clothes chicks think you look good in than a chick?

 

[Orblivia]

Much wisdom.

i would say manbabies but that wouldnt work...so I will say you are my personal jesus for today

 

[Orblivia]

looks: i have a bit of a gut, which i'd like to get rid of, but that's probably not gonna happen
unless they invent a way to do so without large chas investment or willpower (something which i have not been gifted with)

i do try to bathe, shave, and use deodorant when i'm going to places i know girls might be.

as for how i dress, i dress for comfort and convienience and to express my personality. i express my personality through t-shirts that relate to my interests (not all of them are black either, though most are). i'm not going to change who i am and become a trendy, i despise the "fashion trend" crowd and all that they stand for. i'm happy with "who i am" in this area, the only way anyone's getting me to wear things that aren't "me" is if i'm being compensated financially. and the moment i'm off the clock, i'm gonna wear what I wanna wear.

Ok a couple of things here resonated...I will start with the clothes...since I often feel the same way. I wear what I like to wear. Always have (jeans and t shirts to whatev else). So I alwayed ended up being one of the guys, and that was mostly fine with me. But when I would be interested in someone they would view me instead as their buddy. So I wanting to snag this particular hottie (who is still my babylove nearly 3 years later ) I spiffed it up a bit. He noticed. Now I didnt fly out to jacob and whatever else hip and trendy place and buy them out. I went out bought a pair of jeans that fit (i always wear a few sizes too big) and a nice top. 65 dollars and now I had my hunting duds. Of course I LIKED the reaction I got from said duds, so I as I could I picked up a bit more. Now I rarely wear jeans and t shirts but I never wear things I find uncomfortable, not functional or just stupid. So my style is still my own, (you wont ever mistake be for going clubbing at NV) it has been upgraded. Make sense? So your not selling out but refining who you are. And really I now like dressing this way, I feel better, i want to look nice so I work out more, and really he appreciates that I put some effort into my appearance. 65 dollars well spent

Now as to the other two things i quoted...

There is no try only do when it comes to bathing. Ever day without fail. You dont know when you may meet Mrs Right or Miss Righ Now dont get caught wearing the stankpants.

The willpower thing...perhaps join a martial art or yoga, both are very good for focusing the mind and my help you dig deep and find more of your own willpower.

Best of luck

 

[Orblivia]

Hey dude, I dig your advice!

Wanna hook up at GenCon? I've got the Book of Erotic Fantasy...

*runs screaming*

No Snowy. *LOL*

I dont want to roll for climax thanks.

See Hida...THAT was creepy