Odhanan
Adventurer
I introduced RPGs to the kids I knew in primary school. I was the president of my high school role playing club, was part of role playing associations during my University years, organized RPG events for city-sponsored youth events and fairs in Bar-le-Duc, France, and more generally, as far as my home gaming is concerned, I've basically never gone for long without a gaming group, without ever answering a gaming store ad, or going to an RPGA sponsored event, but instead basically introducing people to RPG gaming as I went. My latest RPG group, was 100% women, besides myself, all of them teachers at the local school.
So you guys see where I'm coming from on this.
In the hopes of getting the ball rolling for at least a few people out there who'd read this by chance or whatnot, I'm starting this thread, because well, there really aren't enough of those these days.
Introducing new people to RPG gaming actually isn't that hard, and to be honest, it's something that comes with its own rewards, and avoids a lot of the common problems you hear or read about on gaming message boards. Since you are basically creating a group from scratch, there are no expectations as to the way the rules should work. No rules lawyer, no nitpicks. People are curious, they want to learn, and as long as you keep it social, keep it positive, and share your enthusiasm in non-obsessive ways, it's a big win, because basically everyone's on the same page, and it's that much easier to create a constructive group dynamic from there.
I think that the main advice I could give is to not fall to extremes when it comes to talk about RPGs with people you socialize with. What I mean is that you're not afraid to talk about gaming, you're not ashamed of it, you don't come off as if you were masturbating on porn during your leisure hours, but neither are you overly obsessive about it, by which I mean, you don't monopolize the conversation for 5 entire minutes (it's a long time in a casual conversation) trying to explain some fine points non-gamers really don't care about.
Basically, if say, I'm talking about some movie or book with some coworkers, I could mention in passing that I like this or that sort of fiction, and that I play some role playing games related to these topics. There, one of two things happens. (1) People don't pick up the allusion, or don't care. The conversation moves on. (2) There is this kind of "Oh? You play role playing games?" reaction. Curiosity. Then I'd say "Yes, I do. I paint miniatures, I play Dungeons & Dragons, that kind of thing. Do you know about these games?" Here's the thing. You've got to listen to what people tell you, and keep them engaged in the conversation. It's not about you preaching, or showing the love right away. It's about creating some sort of comfort zone in the conversation that you're a cool guy who can talk about gaming without going all crazy batshit nerd on other people. So listening to the people you're talking to is important. Not going into details for long monologues is important. Not keeping the conversation going at all costs is also important. Just a little bit of conversation like that, like you'd speak about football or collecting stamps or whatnot, and you move on. Like normal people do.
The miniatures help introduce the subject of RPGs. This is a concrete, visible toy that emphasizes the "game" aspect of the equation. It will work with some people, though not everyone.
Then, with some people, the subject will never show up again. That's fine, and you're actually doing a lot of good for RPGs that way anyway: it becomes a normal subject of conversation. Not some sort of dirty stuff nerds hide from other people. But trust me, you WILL hear some of these people talking about it with you again, however. Might be as a joke in the office "No wonder Ben would like LEGOs!" and so on. And it's cool. Laugh it up too. But then, some people will ask questions, wonder about how exactly that plays out. Often, that'll be people you would not have thought of in the first place (there's a 50 year old psychologist here for instance who just asked me about it, and showed some interest in trying it out, because she wants to know if that's something she could use in some way with the kids, and because she enjoys games as well).
And there, same thing again: talk about it normally. It's really my main point here. At some point you'll be able to pop "the" question. Propose, if you will. "Well, if you want we could have dinner with the wife this week end and I'll show you what it's about?" Sometimes you'll have a date, and sometimes you won't. And really from there, it's really about knowing the people you're talking to. You'll get a feel of what they like and don't like. One thing I noticed many times is that women, for instance, love the idea of miniatures. When they hear I paint them, build my own terrain and so on, they're curious. Kinda like knitting, crafts... it's interesting. So when we're having people over, I show my stuff (it's on shelves in my living room, here and there, scattered between books and DVDs and whatnot). Sometimes that's just enough to kick a conversation about it. Other people might like different type of fictions. Mystery novels leads to Call of Cthulhu and the like. Fantasy obviously leads to D&D. Star Wars leads to Star Wars and so on. But that's not the obvious subject that ties it up to me. It's often the RPG books and miniatures in my living room.
When you have your first game with someone, it's important to take yourself away from the typical "amongst-gamers" mindset and think about it like a social event. Like you invite people over to watch a movie together, play a game of bridge or monopoly or whatnot. Just socialize. Have food, enjoy the moment together. Then, afterwards, get to the game and play casually. Have fun. Pick a game that fits the interests of people, keep it relatively simple, and focus on people actually participating, doing stuff themselves. Don't give them too many choices, but don't pilot them either. There's a middle-of-the-road sweet spot to find here. I found that games like B/X D&D, that kind of level of complexity, work great for these purposes. There are choices, but not so many choices as to get bogged down with rules and all that stuff. When people hear about RPGs, they're not expecting to discuss the fine points of rules within rules, like Power Attack v. Cleave or whatnot. They want the "worlds of your imagination." They want to pilot their character and do cool stuff. Try to provide them with that. Don't be too exigent. Act like a good coach, a friend. Keep it lively. Laugh a lot.
Think of this first adventure a bit like a demo game in a game store or convention. Try to think about self-contained circumstances that do not take too long to play out, like maybe 3-4 hours, the time of a soiree or afternoon. After, newbies start to wonder how long that will last, might get bored, and that's really the kind of reaction you want to avoid at all costs. It's WAY better to have a game that leaves them wanting for more (that's the POINT, after all!), rather than have a super-long adventure that ends up with everyone relieved the game is finally over.
From there, some people will come back, some won't. Once you get a small group of 3-4 people going (including yourself), it'll generally be a lot easier to invite people over for the game. Keep it social. The food and drinks and stuff helps a lot. It's a moment of entertainment, of pleasure spent playing together. Think about it as a complete social experience, and you'll enjoy yourselves.
That's about it for now. Here's hoping this is useful for someone reading this.
The food became a huge part of the experience for us during these past few years. We would each bring a dish to the game, and end up with feasts like this one. We would eat, socialize, and then play the game. It allows everyone to "empty his/her bag" if you will, before getting down to gaming business.
So you guys see where I'm coming from on this.
In the hopes of getting the ball rolling for at least a few people out there who'd read this by chance or whatnot, I'm starting this thread, because well, there really aren't enough of those these days.
Introducing new people to RPG gaming actually isn't that hard, and to be honest, it's something that comes with its own rewards, and avoids a lot of the common problems you hear or read about on gaming message boards. Since you are basically creating a group from scratch, there are no expectations as to the way the rules should work. No rules lawyer, no nitpicks. People are curious, they want to learn, and as long as you keep it social, keep it positive, and share your enthusiasm in non-obsessive ways, it's a big win, because basically everyone's on the same page, and it's that much easier to create a constructive group dynamic from there.
I think that the main advice I could give is to not fall to extremes when it comes to talk about RPGs with people you socialize with. What I mean is that you're not afraid to talk about gaming, you're not ashamed of it, you don't come off as if you were masturbating on porn during your leisure hours, but neither are you overly obsessive about it, by which I mean, you don't monopolize the conversation for 5 entire minutes (it's a long time in a casual conversation) trying to explain some fine points non-gamers really don't care about.
Basically, if say, I'm talking about some movie or book with some coworkers, I could mention in passing that I like this or that sort of fiction, and that I play some role playing games related to these topics. There, one of two things happens. (1) People don't pick up the allusion, or don't care. The conversation moves on. (2) There is this kind of "Oh? You play role playing games?" reaction. Curiosity. Then I'd say "Yes, I do. I paint miniatures, I play Dungeons & Dragons, that kind of thing. Do you know about these games?" Here's the thing. You've got to listen to what people tell you, and keep them engaged in the conversation. It's not about you preaching, or showing the love right away. It's about creating some sort of comfort zone in the conversation that you're a cool guy who can talk about gaming without going all crazy batshit nerd on other people. So listening to the people you're talking to is important. Not going into details for long monologues is important. Not keeping the conversation going at all costs is also important. Just a little bit of conversation like that, like you'd speak about football or collecting stamps or whatnot, and you move on. Like normal people do.
The miniatures help introduce the subject of RPGs. This is a concrete, visible toy that emphasizes the "game" aspect of the equation. It will work with some people, though not everyone.
Then, with some people, the subject will never show up again. That's fine, and you're actually doing a lot of good for RPGs that way anyway: it becomes a normal subject of conversation. Not some sort of dirty stuff nerds hide from other people. But trust me, you WILL hear some of these people talking about it with you again, however. Might be as a joke in the office "No wonder Ben would like LEGOs!" and so on. And it's cool. Laugh it up too. But then, some people will ask questions, wonder about how exactly that plays out. Often, that'll be people you would not have thought of in the first place (there's a 50 year old psychologist here for instance who just asked me about it, and showed some interest in trying it out, because she wants to know if that's something she could use in some way with the kids, and because she enjoys games as well).
And there, same thing again: talk about it normally. It's really my main point here. At some point you'll be able to pop "the" question. Propose, if you will. "Well, if you want we could have dinner with the wife this week end and I'll show you what it's about?" Sometimes you'll have a date, and sometimes you won't. And really from there, it's really about knowing the people you're talking to. You'll get a feel of what they like and don't like. One thing I noticed many times is that women, for instance, love the idea of miniatures. When they hear I paint them, build my own terrain and so on, they're curious. Kinda like knitting, crafts... it's interesting. So when we're having people over, I show my stuff (it's on shelves in my living room, here and there, scattered between books and DVDs and whatnot). Sometimes that's just enough to kick a conversation about it. Other people might like different type of fictions. Mystery novels leads to Call of Cthulhu and the like. Fantasy obviously leads to D&D. Star Wars leads to Star Wars and so on. But that's not the obvious subject that ties it up to me. It's often the RPG books and miniatures in my living room.
When you have your first game with someone, it's important to take yourself away from the typical "amongst-gamers" mindset and think about it like a social event. Like you invite people over to watch a movie together, play a game of bridge or monopoly or whatnot. Just socialize. Have food, enjoy the moment together. Then, afterwards, get to the game and play casually. Have fun. Pick a game that fits the interests of people, keep it relatively simple, and focus on people actually participating, doing stuff themselves. Don't give them too many choices, but don't pilot them either. There's a middle-of-the-road sweet spot to find here. I found that games like B/X D&D, that kind of level of complexity, work great for these purposes. There are choices, but not so many choices as to get bogged down with rules and all that stuff. When people hear about RPGs, they're not expecting to discuss the fine points of rules within rules, like Power Attack v. Cleave or whatnot. They want the "worlds of your imagination." They want to pilot their character and do cool stuff. Try to provide them with that. Don't be too exigent. Act like a good coach, a friend. Keep it lively. Laugh a lot.
Think of this first adventure a bit like a demo game in a game store or convention. Try to think about self-contained circumstances that do not take too long to play out, like maybe 3-4 hours, the time of a soiree or afternoon. After, newbies start to wonder how long that will last, might get bored, and that's really the kind of reaction you want to avoid at all costs. It's WAY better to have a game that leaves them wanting for more (that's the POINT, after all!), rather than have a super-long adventure that ends up with everyone relieved the game is finally over.
From there, some people will come back, some won't. Once you get a small group of 3-4 people going (including yourself), it'll generally be a lot easier to invite people over for the game. Keep it social. The food and drinks and stuff helps a lot. It's a moment of entertainment, of pleasure spent playing together. Think about it as a complete social experience, and you'll enjoy yourselves.
That's about it for now. Here's hoping this is useful for someone reading this.
The food became a huge part of the experience for us during these past few years. We would each bring a dish to the game, and end up with feasts like this one. We would eat, socialize, and then play the game. It allows everyone to "empty his/her bag" if you will, before getting down to gaming business.
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