Humor: If WoTC moved to the South
- Thread starter DnDChick
- Start date
orbitalfreak
Explorer
New ability, specific to characters created with the optional Southern Rules D&D:
Swelterin' Heat: (Ex)
Some characters native to regions below the 33rd parallel automatically have this feat. The character must live where extensive amount of heat and humidity* are present. This ability grants the character fire resistance(5), and the character must make a fatigue Fort check only half as often when fatigue would set in from such weather conditions.
However, characters must make this fatigue check twice as often in cold conditions. Additionally, damage from cold sources deals double damage (unless a save for 1/2 is allowed, which results in 1/2 damage) to these characters as though they suffered the penalties of the Fire subtype.
*At least an average of 65% humidity year-round, and 75 days/year with temperatures above 90 F, with 15 of these being above 100 F.
40 degrees F down here right now, and we're all about to freeze to death
. Don't know how all y'all Yanks handle it...
Swelterin' Heat: (Ex)
Some characters native to regions below the 33rd parallel automatically have this feat. The character must live where extensive amount of heat and humidity* are present. This ability grants the character fire resistance(5), and the character must make a fatigue Fort check only half as often when fatigue would set in from such weather conditions.
However, characters must make this fatigue check twice as often in cold conditions. Additionally, damage from cold sources deals double damage (unless a save for 1/2 is allowed, which results in 1/2 damage) to these characters as though they suffered the penalties of the Fire subtype.
*At least an average of 65% humidity year-round, and 75 days/year with temperatures above 90 F, with 15 of these being above 100 F.
40 degrees F down here right now, and we're all about to freeze to death
. Don't know how all y'all Yanks handle it...
shadow
First Post
Errata for d20 Southern.
rename the fireball spell far baa'
replace the word potion with beer
add "pickup truck" in equipment section. (cost 12,000 gp)
under humans in chapter one add the following text:
example names:
Male: Billy Bob, John Boy, Bubba
Female: Bobby Sue, Katie Anne
rename the fireball spell far baa'
replace the word potion with beer
add "pickup truck" in equipment section. (cost 12,000 gp)
under humans in chapter one add the following text:
example names:
Male: Billy Bob, John Boy, Bubba
Female: Bobby Sue, Katie Anne
jdavis
First Post
Parties would go out searching for the Artifacts "Bigfoot Monster Truck" and "sixpack of Billy Beer" (you got to be pretty old to get the Billy Beer reference.)
Paladins and such wouldn't be welcome in these here parts as we don't take kindly to their high falooting ways and putting on of airs.
The pantheon of Gods would include, John Deere, god of plowing; Hank Williams jr, God of Drinken and watchen Monday Night Football; Billy Ray Cyrus, god of Mullets; Lynard Skynard, god of Rowdy bar fights; Bill Clinton, god of fornicating and such, Ted Turner, god of Cable TV; Budwieser, the King of Beers.
Wagons would have gun racks and mud flaps with Yosemite Sam on them. Wagon wheels would be Gumbo Mudders.
The D20 Smokey and the Bandit setting would be a best seller.
Paladins and such wouldn't be welcome in these here parts as we don't take kindly to their high falooting ways and putting on of airs.
The pantheon of Gods would include, John Deere, god of plowing; Hank Williams jr, God of Drinken and watchen Monday Night Football; Billy Ray Cyrus, god of Mullets; Lynard Skynard, god of Rowdy bar fights; Bill Clinton, god of fornicating and such, Ted Turner, god of Cable TV; Budwieser, the King of Beers.
Wagons would have gun racks and mud flaps with Yosemite Sam on them. Wagon wheels would be Gumbo Mudders.
The D20 Smokey and the Bandit setting would be a best seller.
seasong
First Post
I have a damned yankee for a friend, and I'd have to say that it ain't the southerners who have heat tolerance, but the northerners that have cold tolerance.
See, we're near-equatorial. For the slow amongst you, that means we're at the center. You know, all average like.
We get a bit hot when it's around 110 on concrete, and we get a bit chilly when it drops below half our body temperature, and that's, well, that's how it should be.
This yankee girl, now, she complains as soon as it lights up to about 80 - that's still cool enough to lose body heat, girl!
And in the winter? It'll be freezin' cold, hovering a hair's breadth over the freezing point of water, which I might remind you is most of our god-given body, and she's wearing what, a t-shirt and some shorts?
That's unnatural.
See, we're near-equatorial. For the slow amongst you, that means we're at the center. You know, all average like.
We get a bit hot when it's around 110 on concrete, and we get a bit chilly when it drops below half our body temperature, and that's, well, that's how it should be.
This yankee girl, now, she complains as soon as it lights up to about 80 - that's still cool enough to lose body heat, girl!
And in the winter? It'll be freezin' cold, hovering a hair's breadth over the freezing point of water, which I might remind you is most of our god-given body, and she's wearing what, a t-shirt and some shorts?
That's unnatural.
InShambles
First Post
starwolf said:
Umm, excuse me but Dr. Pepper is also a southern drink. It was created in Waco, Texas.
Also anyone who says "all y'all" isn't from the south. Y'all is already plural.
edit: [Being a smart ass.]
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jdavis
First Post
Being as I have lived in Hillbilly Redneck Hell for all of my life I find the Y'all debate sort of funny, anybody that show up and calls people y'all sounds like a yankee trying to fit in. That's old south, you need to get with the times and mix in some improperly used "80's rap slang with some "themtheres" and some "thatthere" or "itsin" or even "weese all" and always leave the g off the end of any word ending in "ing" (smoken, drinken, eatin, playen). Cursing at inappropriate moments is also helps ( such as using a few choice 4 letter words to describe how good Grandma's Thanksgiving Turkey was this year.) Yelling Yehaw and SCHOO out your truck window at women is a great sign of respect too(Whooping up a storm). And Sundrop is a Southern Drink, or maybe a Big Red.
D&D class alternate names.
Fighter- Good Ole Boys
Ranger- Redneck (or a sportsman, depending on if he likes hunten and fishen.)
Barbarian- Hillbilly
Paladin- State Trooper (must have mirrored sunglasses and call everyone Boy.
Bard- Grandpappy
Cleric- Preacherman (or televangelist, depending on how powerful they are).
Druid- Mountain Man.
Monk- "Them Karate guys"
Rogue- Blacksheep
Wizard- doctor (medicine is magic you know)
Sorcerer- " Thatthere old vodoo woman"
BlackGuard- Yankee (you can use Carpetbagger for a old school feel)
And remember "Weese don't kin kindly to any of themthere faries round thes parts none neither boy." When you can translate that you are well on your way.
D&D class alternate names.
Fighter- Good Ole Boys
Ranger- Redneck (or a sportsman, depending on if he likes hunten and fishen.)
Barbarian- Hillbilly
Paladin- State Trooper (must have mirrored sunglasses and call everyone Boy.
Bard- Grandpappy
Cleric- Preacherman (or televangelist, depending on how powerful they are).
Druid- Mountain Man.
Monk- "Them Karate guys"
Rogue- Blacksheep
Wizard- doctor (medicine is magic you know)
Sorcerer- " Thatthere old vodoo woman"
BlackGuard- Yankee (you can use Carpetbagger for a old school feel)
And remember "Weese don't kin kindly to any of themthere faries round thes parts none neither boy." When you can translate that you are well on your way.
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