Humor: If WoTC moved to the South

Also, for the more learned crowd:

The Southern Literary Campaign;

You can join with Flannery O'Connor, William Faulkner, and Tennessee Williams in trying to get your works published.

(Faulkner once signed up to do some screenwriting in Hollywood of several literary classics. The studio executives said he could work from home. They tried to find him but had a problem. He decided working from home was working back in Mississippi.:-))

Hand of Vecna: Good to hear from you. Are you still participating in the IR thread?
 

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Well, I can't wait to read the descriptions of new magic items such as the Trailer of Kwalish and the Everful Keg and new spells such as Mordenkainen's Magnificent Trailer, Charm Cousin and Protection from Interns.

And the two-headed, six-fingered inbred template promises to be the kaiju of this setting.
 

Maybe...

Maybe it's just me, but "All Y'All" mostly conjures up images of the inner city for me...which is it's own kettle of fish when thinking up unusual D&D settings. :)
 

What about some feats?

I certainly like Wrasslin'

Wrasslin'[General]
Prerequisites: Str 13+, Power Attack.
Benefit: When the character initiates a grapple, the character does not draw an attack of opportunity from the defender.

And how about Whuppin'

Whuppin' [General]
Prerequisites: Str 13+, Power Attack, Whip Proficiency.
Benefit: The character may use a whip (preferably a switch, "big 'round as my thumb!") as a melee weapon. He no longer provokes AoO's while attacking adjacent enemies, and he threatens the area around him with the whip. Character must declare, "I'm agonna WHUP you, BOY!" when attacking.
 

Female warriors must have special helmets made to accommodate their bee-hive hairdos.

Male characters's haircuts are either a mullet or an Elvis pompadour, complete with long, wide sideburns.

Male warriors wear special mesh-back, adjustable gimme-helmets.

No matter what gods they pray to, everyone worships Football, except residents of North Carolina, who worship Basketball.

Characters' starting number of teeth are determined by rolling 1d4.
 

There would be an evil, secretive organization in Nashville that somehow makes sure that only the worst bards in that town ever become famous. Meanwhile hundreds of talented bards play on streetcorners and in run-down pubs for a few coins.

Characters afflicted with a "public education" suffer from a -4 Intelligence penalty.

Players must say "Ahm Fixin' ta..." When they announce their character's actions.

The Aunt Jemima Prestige Class (with "create soul food" ability)

Even lay people may cast the bless spell by uttering the phrase "Bless his heart" or "Bless her heart," as appropriate. However, "Bless its heart." is also acceptable in some cases.
 
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Damror said:
The

Even lay people may cast the bless spell by uttering the phrase "Bless his heart" or "Bless her heart," as appropriate. However, "Bless its heart." is also acceptable in some cases.
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...And on a side, note, have you ever noticed that, especially among the older set in the South, its perfectly ok to say all sorts of terrible things about a person as long as you add "bless his heart!" at the end? lol

"He's 'bout half as smart as a bucket of sticks, bless his heart!"

And if you say something really bad about someone, you have to add "little."

"He smells like a dead boarhog and is about twice as hansome, bless his little heart."

My grandmother is famous for this. lol
 
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DnDChick said:


...And on a side, note, have you ever noticed that, especially among the older set in the South, its perfectly ok to say all sorts of terrible things about a person as long as you add "bless his heart!" at the end? lol

"He's 'bout half as smart as a bucket of sticks, bless his heart!"

And if you say something really bad about someone, you have to add "little."

"He smells like a dead boarhog and is about twice as hansome, bless his little heart."

My grandmother is famous for this. lol
Click to expand...
So it's "really" a curse. ;)

I can't believe this is still going. :)
 

protection from law spell will only protect you from sheriffs, reevnooners, and the infernal revenue agency.

Hero's feast = spam rc cola moon pie and hot sauce.

Create food and water= cheap beer, potted meat small bottle hot sauce.

Very few paladins or monks allowed them thar be strange peeple. Mostly chaotics.

Halfling become them children
Gnomes disappear into halfing or dwarfs
Dwarfs become football line men or called uncle joe

Elves them thar artsy fartsly folk, u know those ballet/ cheerleader guys

magic missles come in 22 38 or 45 caliburro.

Gust of wind comes automattically after supper.
 


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