(humor) Ok ... in D&D 3.5, who wins, the Commoner or the Housecat?
- Thread starter Edena_of_Neith
- Start date
I started to think what the best way for a commoner to defeat a housecat would be.
Net, I thought. And then realized that it needed to be taken in, wrapped up, and all that to be thrown a second time.
Then the thought hit me: the best possible weapon against a domesticated feline is something not statted in the PHB in 3.0, and likely not in 3.5. A blanket.
Blanket.....5 cp.....no damage.....no critical.....no range.....4 lbs..... B
Special: the blanket can be held up by the corners to provide the wielder the benefit of full cover to attackers two size modifiers smaller. If a successful melee touch attack is made, the blanket can automatically pin a target of Tiny size or smaller. The target may escape the pin by doing 10 points of slashing damage to the inside of the blanket. Large blankets wielded by Large creatures may pin Small creatures, etc...
Once the housecat is pinned, the commoner may atuomatically deal subdual damage to the cat until it can escape. The catlords should be afraid.
Ford Prefect was almost correct when he said that all you needed to make it through life was a towel. Ed's Note: this was actually a mistranslation of "blanket" into American from British.
Net, I thought. And then realized that it needed to be taken in, wrapped up, and all that to be thrown a second time.
Then the thought hit me: the best possible weapon against a domesticated feline is something not statted in the PHB in 3.0, and likely not in 3.5. A blanket.
Blanket.....5 cp.....no damage.....no critical.....no range.....4 lbs..... B
Special: the blanket can be held up by the corners to provide the wielder the benefit of full cover to attackers two size modifiers smaller. If a successful melee touch attack is made, the blanket can automatically pin a target of Tiny size or smaller. The target may escape the pin by doing 10 points of slashing damage to the inside of the blanket. Large blankets wielded by Large creatures may pin Small creatures, etc...
Once the housecat is pinned, the commoner may atuomatically deal subdual damage to the cat until it can escape. The catlords should be afraid.
Ford Prefect was almost correct when he said that all you needed to make it through life was a towel. Ed's Note: this was actually a mistranslation of "blanket" into American from British.
Moe Ronalds
First Post
the Jester said:
which is good, because otherwise they'd piddle all over the floor...
Ao the Overkitty
First Post
Edena_of_Neith said:
Commoner? LOL. Housecats nearly killed our 2nd level party (consisting of a 2nd level bard, & 1/1 bard/sorcerer, & a 1/1 fighter/rogue, &b a 2nd level rogue).
The cats took my bard down to 0 hp before he could act. Damn pounce.
Forever more, my bard (now bard/paladin) is very jumpy whenever he hears a meow (mimiced or real) or someone mentions cats.
Sejs
First Post
Commoner.
In addition to the ability to wield one simple weapon, the Commoner also has access to things that the housecat is naturally afraid of, such as the Loud Rustly Bag, Vaccum Cleaner, and Spray Bottle. Also.. Handle Animal is a class skill for Commoners, so the commoner using some of his starting money on an animal he's trained would be reasonable.
And now, I'm off to go stat the Commoner Lord
In addition to the ability to wield one simple weapon, the Commoner also has access to things that the housecat is naturally afraid of, such as the Loud Rustly Bag, Vaccum Cleaner, and Spray Bottle. Also.. Handle Animal is a class skill for Commoners, so the commoner using some of his starting money on an animal he's trained would be reasonable.
And now, I'm off to go stat the Commoner Lord
Edena_of_Neith
First Post
Ao, how many housecats attacked that party of yours?
GruTheWanderer
First Post
Gotta recommend the Sluggy Freelance series "Kitten". These commoners don't stand a chance.
Similar Threads
