I hate Christmas
- Thread starter Storm Raven
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Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
Eh, it's the thought that counts.buzzard said:
And if it's for a charity, I'll take "I'll show those bastards! I'll do it anyway!" over "Eh, why bother." any day.
At least buzzard has the guts to back up what he says.
Hey, Storm Raven, drop me an email or something, and let me know if you're actually going to regift that pen to d20Dwarf, so I can pay for shipping and handling.
PowerWordDumb
First Post
Warlord Ralts said:
Indeed, respect to buzzard.
WayneLigon
Adventurer
I have to agree in most part with SR, though I think the email itself could be significantly reworded to be less blunt. If people have been giving him stuff for years that he has stated time and again that he doesn't want or need, that smacks of either some serious thoughtlessness on their part... or they're purposefully doing it to piss him off depending on what's happened in the past.
Or, they could be like my Mom was. Most of what I would have wanted was pretty obvious, but because it was 'that fantasy stuff', she purposefully wouldn't get it for me 'because you have too much of that crap anyway'. She took zero interest in what I was interested in. There could be a lot of passive-aggressive stuff going on there we know nothing about. Kinda sounds like it to me, at least.
I'm hard to buy for as well. Usually, though, my interests run towards the same as the gaming group's. Some broad hints are usually given to me: Do you own such and such book? No? Well.. I don't think you should get it, then, *wink wink*. Or, they know what's on the shelf and what's missing.
Me, I agonize trying to get the perfect gift. I try to ferret out what people are looking for and can't find, or something that matches their interests as closely as I can divine even if it's not an interest of mine. Sometimes, I have to ask bluntly 'do you have that?'.
Most of the time I get a direct hit, because I take an interest in what their interests are and file away little statements. 'Oh, I love wolves' becomes a little ceramic wolf figurine at Xmas (unless some careful questioning reveals that they collect little wolf figurines - then it's too much of a chance of duplicating something they have or getting something inferior. In that case, it might be a picture, or plushy, or something in that vein.
Also: Amazon's wish list sharing feature. A boon to Xmas giving.
Or, they could be like my Mom was. Most of what I would have wanted was pretty obvious, but because it was 'that fantasy stuff', she purposefully wouldn't get it for me 'because you have too much of that crap anyway'. She took zero interest in what I was interested in. There could be a lot of passive-aggressive stuff going on there we know nothing about. Kinda sounds like it to me, at least.
I'm hard to buy for as well. Usually, though, my interests run towards the same as the gaming group's. Some broad hints are usually given to me: Do you own such and such book? No? Well.. I don't think you should get it, then, *wink wink*. Or, they know what's on the shelf and what's missing.
Me, I agonize trying to get the perfect gift. I try to ferret out what people are looking for and can't find, or something that matches their interests as closely as I can divine even if it's not an interest of mine. Sometimes, I have to ask bluntly 'do you have that?'.
Most of the time I get a direct hit, because I take an interest in what their interests are and file away little statements. 'Oh, I love wolves' becomes a little ceramic wolf figurine at Xmas (unless some careful questioning reveals that they collect little wolf figurines - then it's too much of a chance of duplicating something they have or getting something inferior. In that case, it might be a picture, or plushy, or something in that vein.
Also: Amazon's wish list sharing feature. A boon to Xmas giving.
WhimsyTheFae
Explorer
SR, another question. Can you accept the possibility that your family doesn't agree with you, but still cares? It just appears to me that this can be taken a few different ways:
1. If they cared they'd get me what I want, therefore they don't care.
2. I should adjust my attitude, because they obviously care and I am being greedy.
3. They don't have the same opinion as I do, but they do care, therefore our impass isn't a right vs. wrong. I will have to accept that this will be a point of contention until one of us adjusts our attitude (and if you don't want to be the one who adjusts, then don't, but it doesn't mean that they have to change either - my biggest beef is with the intolerant stance you appear to take).
I am just wondering, if #2 isn't a possibility (hey, if these are your convictions, then who am I to make you change), can you at least accept #3 as a possibility. It just doesn't make sense to turn it into a them vs. us situation, as you immediately paint your own family as the "bad guy" and you as the "good guy". As I have stated before, I don't like surprises and am not real hyped on Christmas, but when I get something that I don't like it doesn't cause me to take an opposing view of the gift giver.
I guess that my gut tells me that your friends and family may be just as vehemently opposed to your viewpoint, and therefore the concept of changing their attitudes in this matter would feel just as wrong to them.
1. If they cared they'd get me what I want, therefore they don't care.
2. I should adjust my attitude, because they obviously care and I am being greedy.
3. They don't have the same opinion as I do, but they do care, therefore our impass isn't a right vs. wrong. I will have to accept that this will be a point of contention until one of us adjusts our attitude (and if you don't want to be the one who adjusts, then don't, but it doesn't mean that they have to change either - my biggest beef is with the intolerant stance you appear to take).
I am just wondering, if #2 isn't a possibility (hey, if these are your convictions, then who am I to make you change), can you at least accept #3 as a possibility. It just doesn't make sense to turn it into a them vs. us situation, as you immediately paint your own family as the "bad guy" and you as the "good guy". As I have stated before, I don't like surprises and am not real hyped on Christmas, but when I get something that I don't like it doesn't cause me to take an opposing view of the gift giver.
I guess that my gut tells me that your friends and family may be just as vehemently opposed to your viewpoint, and therefore the concept of changing their attitudes in this matter would feel just as wrong to them.
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You're attitude is something else, man. I hope you have a fantastic Christmas.Dingleberry
First Post
My apologies. I misinterpreted, based on this:buzzard said:
buzzard said:
A worthy cause is a worthy cause, but the intent behind it definitely impacts whether it's an appreciated gift. "I made this gift to a worthy cause in your name because you inspire me to do good things" is very different from "I made this gift to a worthy cause in your name because I hope it will make your wife see how great I am and finally leave you and run away with me" - not that I think either of these was your actual motiviation.buzzard said:
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WhimsyTheFae
Explorer
Storm Raven said:
As human beings without ESP, we cannot know the motives of other people. We can only hope that people tell us the truth and use deduction/reasoning/evidence to ascribe motives to others. There are many people who are unintentionally rude. There are many people who take offense where none was meant. There are many people who disguise their true motives.
With that in mind, I added, what I felt to be missing text, to your statement.
Dingleberry
First Post
Having ESP would really take the fun out of both giving and receiving gifts.FickleGM said:
WhimsyTheFae
Explorer
Dingleberry said:
Oh, it would take the fun out of a lot more than that (unless I was the only one with ESP - I guess that since this is an RPG site, I should specify that I am refering to Mind Reading...
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