I m a girl get over it

[Desdichado]

Same here. I've played plenty with gals in the group, and it's never even been something that we thought more than twice about. Heck, we had a group for a while there that was four guys and all four of their wives. Sadly, that group has disintegrated to three folks, but we recruited another three newcomers (without their wives) and carried on.

 

[Henry]

I will say this much - if your current group's dynamic doesn't allow it, there's no reason to force it - though one never knows until it's given a test run; and if it turns out that they do have a problem, there are groups out there that SHE might want to join in. as I noted in the other post. My wife for instance enjoys plenty of other activities that I don't; she's not a gamer, and doesn't game with me, but she hangs out with friends, goes shopping, etc. and we have three social circles - hers, mine, and the part where they overlap (such as her sister and sister's fiancé, who are gamers.)

 

[Rel]

What's a prettly little thing like you doing with a great big chip on her shoulder like that?

(Ok, I'm kidding, calm down. )

Seriously though, I can appreciate your rant but it isn't doing you much good here. By and large the folks here at ENWorld are as accepting and nice a bunch of people you will find on the internet. I can already tell you that the predominant opinions in this thread will be that we enjoy gaming with female gamers and are very accepting and encouraging of their participation in the hobby.

Opinions like those expressed by your boyfriend's group are very rare around here. So I hope you enjoy your stay.

 

[Goblyns Hoard]

I've gamed with girls and girlfriends for years... introduced some to gaming, met others through it, and have been pleasantly surprised when one nervously brought up the subject (thinking that I wasn't a gamer and would think she was the geek.... hmmm that was nice)

My experience of female gamers - highly varied. Some were clearly "trying out the boyfriend's hobby", others long term addicts. I've never played in a game run by a woman (though I know of women that have run games... just not when I was around

Most groups I've played with have been dominated by men in numbers, and often also in style of play. This is not universal but can be a problem. And generally (WARNING- GROSS GENERALISATION ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE) I've found that non-gamer women consider the idea of gaming worse than non-gaming men - i.e. they take the piss more and consider it childish where non-gaming guys tend to just think "meh... geek stuff" and leave it at that. Which means that getting together a group of girls to game with while probably a good thing for you to do would probably be difficult.

My suggestions -
1) Talk to your bloke, get him to play a one-on-one with you so you get into the real details of gaming. Use that to get a few of the details down then insist on joining. Ask him not to tell the others that you've had the 'coaching' sessions. I'm not suggesting you don't know about the system but there's a difference between knowing the theory and putting it into play, and until you've actually played a couple of games it's likely that you'll get a 'how do I do that again' moment. It's not that it's a problem - just that the first time you game with all his mates you want everything to go as smooth as possible and a few live sessions will iron out any kinks and make you look less of 'the noob'. And if they ask for nibbles or soda - tell them where they can find them and that they can grab you one while they're there!

2) Stick up a post over on Randomlings House. I only played a couple of games with Randomling before I moved away from London but I really got on with her. There had been another girl in the group (Stalking Blue) who had felt a similar 'male oppressiveness' in gaming and might be able to give you better pointers than those of us suffering from testosterone poisoning. I don't want to give you the impression that their group was a bunch of ignorant jocks - they were all really great in the brief time I gamed with them - but Stalking Blue must have seen another side of things and might be able to offer up some advice.

Meantime - get into a game, tell them where to stuff it and welcome to the boards

The Hoard

 

[Hand of Evil]

Welcome to the board.

 

[Mystery Man]

I am a girl who looks as tho she would'nt know the first thing about gaming let alone the intricacies of playing the DnD and the world that goes along with it.

What's on your head? Looking at avatar...

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

Current Game(s):

My wife plays a F Amythest Dragon Rogue (no rogue levels, but takes anything not nailed down), in our high level game and a M Kobold Rogue in my low level game.

The 13 year old daughter of one of the guys in my game plays a rather bloodthirsty half elf/celestial cleric in the high level game & a (toned-down) nymph (one that actually wears clothes thankfully) in the low level.

Female gamers are becoming an increasing force in the gaming industry. In fact, that is why some traditional gamers seem to be opposed to female gamers. In that, as females purchase more and more gaming stuff, more and more publishers will try to tailor their products to this new, emerging market. Sort of how economics works. As WotC & other RPG comapnies seek to expand their fan base, some older fans will complain. Whether that is females, CCG people, Video Games, etc.

Don't take it personal. You game, good for you. You don't game, good for you. You keep your boyfriend from gaming, shame on you.

On the other hand. You hide a signifacnt part of who you are from your girlfriend, shame on you. If she won't accept gaming, there are greater issuse that need to be worked out.

After all, it's not like you were killing door to door salesmen & burying them in the basement.

Good Gaming (Hope you show the boys how a real gamer plays)!

 

[Tom Cashel]

Is it just that we are the of the opposite sex or that you are afraid to let us into your world for fear we will see you at your most vulnerable and the concept of seeing you getting excited or even moved at slaying a dragon may make you lose any sexual credibility and make you less of a man.

What are you...a psychiatrist?

Its like a no go area and having testosterone is your members only card.

Surgery's always an option.

For Your Enlightenment

THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA

by Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P. POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal

When Hypoc was through meditating with St. Gulik, he went there into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the feast and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a pan left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness forgot about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It was dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea by diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without further consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the preparations. It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of that trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is bitter tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the struggle inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established with the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and unified or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and Hypoc succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice.

And again he plunged into the physical orgy and completed the task, and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.

 

[Sarajaine"The Solar"]

Its really a case of my boyfriends gaming friends feeling that women and dnd don't mix and its refreshing to know that many gamers out there don't have the same opinion.

I m not sure that given the choice I would play as I feel that it is my bf's hobby but not being able to have the option due to opinionated players is the thing that gets my back up!

I live in a place where the small group of gamers tend to hang round in the same circles so with them feeling this way,finding a group to play with is like finding a needle in a haystack.

 

[Mark Hope]

I don't get the "girls can't game" thing either - all of my past groups have had women in them. Doesn't make a blind bit of difference as far as I can tell.

But I do think you should play a solar, though...