I need a new gaming group! :mad:

[fusangite]

jdrakeh hit the nail on the head here. Problem #1 is your living situation; problem #2 is your gaming group. Finding a better living situation sounds like priority #1. If someone is too big a jerk to game with (which sure sounds like the case here), they sure aren't people you should be trusting to share a dwelling with you.

Before I make suggestions regarding the gaming group, could you tell me what the GM thinks. It would help me if you could give me a sense of where he's coming from here. I'm really sorry to hear about this crap you are having to take -- I'm highly articulate and mean (having formerly worked in politics); if I'm ever in your neck of the woods, I'd be happy to give these jerks a tongue-lashing your you behalf.

 

[DonTadow]

Huh. Here I was thinking that was probably the best advice that was going to come out of this thread. Truly we are entering the Age of the Wuss

You've obviously never had to deal with daily ridicule ala the kids in columbine. It's people like this whom think its "harmless fun" and then wonder why those ridiculed go on shooting sprees or commit suicide. It has nothing with being macho or being a man. It's got to be with being a human being. I don't game so that I can be talked about every 5 minutes by my so called friends. Obviously, if you're not the but of the joke, you wouldn't understand. When you're making the jokes all is fun and games. Yeah, no one is "out to get you" but words still cut as sharp as knives do. It's like saying no ones out to kill you but i got to be poked by a pin every hour we spend gaming. Eventually I"m going to get fed up.

 

[Grimstaff]

This is the worst advice I've ever heard. I"m not sure of what kind of friends you have...

I guess the kind that aren't reduced to tears by a little rough humor at the table.

 

[Psychic Warrior]

You've obviously never had to deal with daily ridicule ala the kids in columbine. It's people like this whom think its "harmless fun" and then wonder why those ridiculed go on shooting sprees or commit suicide. It has nothing with being macho or being a man. It's got to be with being a human being. I don't game so that I can be talked about every 5 minutes by my so called friends. Obviously, if you're not the but of the joke, you wouldn't understand. When you're making the jokes all is fun and games. Yeah, no one is "out to get you" but words still cut as sharp as knives do. It's like saying no ones out to kill you but i got to be poked by a pin every hour we spend gaming. Eventually I"m going to get fed up.

Well, actually you are wrong. I was ridiculed in school (mainly high school but some elementary too) for being the 'nerd', overweight, glasses etc. I learned to cope - and overcome. Without even a single shooting spree to my name, too. I really doubt I am in the minority in that regard.

 

[Grimstaff]

You've obviously never had to deal with daily ridicule ala the kids in columbine. It's people like this whom think its "harmless fun" and then wonder why those ridiculed go on shooting sprees or commit suicide. It has nothing with being macho or being a man. It's got to be with being a human being. I don't game so that I can be talked about every 5 minutes by my so called friends. Obviously, if you're not the but of the joke, you wouldn't understand. When you're making the jokes all is fun and games. Yeah, no one is "out to get you" but words still cut as sharp as knives do. It's like saying no ones out to kill you but i got to be poked by a pin every hour we spend gaming. Eventually I"m going to get fed up.

Obviously you are unable to seperate the cruel taunts of strangers from the gentle arm-punching of friends. Our friend here is complaining about his fellow gamers, not some neighborhood bullies! Regardless, if you dont toughen up and fight back, you are an easy target, and will continue to be the butt of all jokes.

Am I totally off base to suggest you are/were a frequent butt of jokes, DonTadow, and this is maybe a sore subject for you? If so, please take my advice as well, I mean it sincerely!

 

[DonTadow]

Well, actually you are wrong. I was ridiculed in school (mainly high school but some elementary too) for being the 'nerd', overweight, glasses etc. I learned to cope - and overcome. Without even a single shooting spree to my name, too. I really doubt I am in the minority in that regard.

And I have yet to kill anyone either "yay". But some do, and some go on to commit suicide because they don't fit in. And encouraging ridicule to "toughen up" people is just flat out ignorant. Do you send your child to school
"hey don't forget to make fun of your best friend's differences today".

This doesn't sound like a simple joke here and there. This is a guy whom has to indure being ridiculed in what s suppose to be a socially friendly game where everyones suppose to be enjoying themselves.

How did you cope? By joining in hte ridicule of others.

Or did the ones whom ridiculed you just grow into other social circles where you don't haave to interact with them, as what happens when you become an adult. You begini interacting in circles where you feel comfortable and feel you belong. When people feel that they aren't even accepted in the social circles they have chosen you feel isolated, hurt and alone.

Everyone might not be running around toting guns, but depression is the biggest mental disease in America with the cases rising exponentially every day.

Friends may joke here and there, but friends respect you as well. If I ask my friend to stop doing something, theystop. If a friend knows you are sensitive about certain things then they won't approach the subject. That's a good friend.

It's called having morals and having beliefs. It's real sad that there are people whom would let others ridicule beliefs that are close to them "such as their religion, personal problems and beliefs " because they are too 'wussy" enough to stand up for what they believe in. You have to wonder whose the real wuss here.

The person whom stands up for his beliefs and himself, or the idiots making fun of serious subjects in adults lives. Or is it the people whom tell him to accept the ridicule because they don't have the courage to stand up to their own friends about things they believe in.

 

[DonTadow]

Obviously you are unable to seperate the cruel taunts of strangers from the gentle arm-punching of friends. Our friend here is complaining about his fellow gamers, not some neighborhood bullies! Regardless, if you dont toughen up and fight back, you are an easy target, and will continue to be the butt of all jokes.

Am I totally off base to suggest you are/were a frequent butt of jokes, DonTadow, and this is maybe a sore subject for you? If so, please take my advice as well, I mean it sincerely!

This type of thinking leads to violence. You're ABSOLOUTELY right. I don't know hte difference between cruel taunts of strangers and gentle arm-punching of friends. Because there is no difference. The only difference... is in the people whom are ridiculling minds. And when you join in the ridiculing you tell yourself that its ok because everyone else is doing it (peer pressure at its worse) and their friends. In all honesty the gamers he plays with are are no different than the bully. As a matter of fact, I'd rather have a bully ridicule me becuase I know his intentions. But to have friends do it is borderline Caesar/Brutus.

HOnestly, I wasn't ridiculed much in school. I was one of those ignorant kids whom did it to fit in, but I grew up later on in high school. When I joined the previously mentioned gamer group I was very upset that among friends that type of behavior would take place. It wasn't kind, it wasn't frinedly and it's not what friends are for. How can you trust anyone you don't respect?

 

[Psychic Warrior]

And I have yet to kill anyone either "yay". But some do, and some go on to commit suicide because they don't fit in. And encouraging ridicule to "toughen up" people is just flat out ignorant. Do you send your child to school
"hey don't forget to make fun of your best friend's differences today".

This doesn't sound like a simple joke here and there. This is a guy whom has to indure being ridiculed in what s suppose to be a socially friendly game where everyones suppose to be enjoying themselves.

How did you cope? By joining in hte ridicule of others.

Or did the ones whom ridiculed you just grow into other social circles where you don't haave to interact with them, as what happens when you become an adult. You begini interacting in circles where you feel comfortable and feel you belong. When people feel that they aren't even accepted in the social circles they have chosen you feel isolated, hurt and alone.

Everyone might not be running around toting guns, but depression is the biggest mental disease in America with the cases rising exponentially every day.

Friends may joke here and there, but friends respect you as well. If I ask my friend to stop doing something, theystop. If a friend knows you are sensitive about certain things then they won't approach the subject. That's a good friend.

It's called having morals and having beliefs. It's real sad that there are people whom would let others ridicule beliefs that are close to them "such as their religion, personal problems and beliefs " because they are too 'wussy" enough to stand up for what they believe in. You have to wonder whose the real wuss here.

The person whom stands up for his beliefs and himself, or the idiots making fun of serious subjects in adults lives. Or is it the people whom tell him to accept the ridicule because they don't have the courage to stand up to their own friends about things they believe in.

You make so many assumptions about me and my character that it boggles my mind. Let's just say I am one of those who did 'toughen up' and learned to roll with it. You, obviously, did not.

 

[Harmon]

Shadow,

First off, when you tell a friend that their words are hurting you and they say something like- "its just how I am," and continue with the harmful comments- they are not your friend. You might have been theirs but they are not yours. They might think they are, but they arn't. If they were your friend they would apologize and stop the comments.

People that step up and say- "hay, your not helping things, back off the sarcastic remarks, and other bellstuff," now that is a friend.

Comments made in character sometimes roll over into reality (BTDT) and it can be pretty harmful to the relationship. Esp. when all all the comments are directed at only your characters and no one elses, its pretty clear that they are letting it roll into game time.

As for the suggestion that you need to thicken your skin, well I have yet to figure them out. Don't respond to their comments, I know its hard to do, but that kinda comment is not something that helps you understand the problem you are having its just a suggested facade that you place up between you and the problem. It does nothing to solve the problem is what I mean by that.

Take care, Shadow, take a few breaths, do what you can to get out and spend time with those that care about you.

Harmon

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Obviously you are unable to seperate the cruel taunts of strangers from the gentle arm-punching of friends. Our friend here is complaining about his fellow gamers, not some neighborhood bullies!

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