I need a new gaming group! :mad:

[DonTadow]

You make so many assumptions about me and my character that it boggles my mind. Let's just say I am one of those who did 'toughen up' and learned to roll with it. You, obviously, did not.

So what you're saying is,

you're too chicken enough to stand up in what you believe in so you just roll with the crowd and thus join the crowd.

What I learned is to stick up more in what is important to me. I'm wondering what you'd say if people talked about your family every session, these so called friends. Do you roll with the punches and join in as they ridicule your wife and kids.

Who is really tough, the person whom "accepts things the way they are and rolls with it to fit in" or the person whom "takes a stand even when its not the popular one".

 

[Grimstaff]

This type of thinking leads to violence. You're ABSOLOUTELY right. I don't know hte difference between cruel taunts of strangers and gentle arm-punching of friends. Because there is no difference. The only difference... is in the people whom are ridiculling minds. And when you join in the ridiculing you tell yourself that its ok because everyone else is doing it (peer pressure at its worse) and their friends. In all honesty the gamers he plays with are are no different than the bully. As a matter of fact, I'd rather have a bully ridicule me becuase I know his intentions. But to have friends do it is borderline Caesar/Brutus.

HOnestly, I wasn't ridiculed much in school. I was one of those ignorant kids whom did it to fit in, but I grew up later on in high school. When I joined the previously mentioned gamer group I was very upset that among friends that type of behavior would take place. It wasn't kind, it wasn't frinedly and it's not what friends are for. How can you trust anyone you don't respect?

Violence? See that's what I'm talking about. Those who have suggested "toughening up" or getting a thicker skin are really using euphemisms for "growing up". I'm not sure why you've turned a fellow gamer's quest for advice into a diatribe on social darwinism, but ok, I'll bite. Believe it or not, there is a happy medium between "I'm getting picked on" and "I'm gonna shoot everone today". Its called "Adulthood", that state of maturity when someone is capable of finding the balance between standing up for one's self and knowing how to engage in a little freindly banter without going home in tears. While you're view of ethical socializing can be found daily on "Sesame Street", it is nowhere to be found in real life. In real life, no matter how polite the facade appears, a "pecking order" is constantly being established and revised, be it in your workplace, your religious community, or your bowling league. The sooner you accept that everyone who makes fun of the shirt you wore today isn't necessarily out to get you and is just being friendly, the more you will enjoy life and the people around you. When people see your face turns red and you get sullen and withdrawn everytime someone tries to be a little lighthearted, no one will like you and you take more heat. And not because you're a "nerd" or a "freak", but because you are socially immature, and people prefer to deal with equals.

Now, Shadow came to us with an honest problem: he feels like he's getting teased too much. But he has already said the other guys were sarcastic to begin with. I honestly feel that if he toughens up a bit and joins in the horseplay he will propbably a)realize no one was being deliberately cruel, and b)find out he not being "singled out" as much as he thought. And if things don't turn out that way, then continue sticking up for yourself by finding a new group of friends. But I think Shadow will find that people who can make light of things with you do so because they like you aren't ridiculing you behind your back

 

[Mystery Man]

I've been with a small gaming group for several months. Recently, however, I have become fed up with some of the players and situations in the group.

Things started out pretty good. The original two other players (whom I shall just call X and Y) were serious players whom I enjoyed gaming with. Player X was sort of sarcastic and smart aleck, but since neither me nor player Y were ever very sarcastic, player X's smart aleck comments were kept to a minimum.

Things started getting bad when I moved in with a roommate (who was an avid gamer) and introduced him to my small gaming group. Now we had three players and a DM! However, soon I felt that the gaming group that I had put together was being usurped by my new roommate. Before, with only three players, we were able to joke together and have about equal "talk time"; after my roommate started gaming in the group I started feeling excluded from the game because, being a naturally talker with the gift of gab, my roommate started taking over the game.

Moreover, I began to realize that my roommate could be quite a smart-aleck/a**hole in the game. As a big fan of Quentin Tarantino and Frank Miller, he often played annoying/sadistic characters based on the gangsters from Pulp-Fiction and Sin-City (even in a fantasy game). Most troublesome of all, having somewhat of a natural sarcastic attitude, my roommate fit in really well with player X. Suddenly, between player X and my roommate, the game has become filled with smart-aleck quips. This really bothers me because I feel that I'm the butt end of all the jokes since I lack the natural quick wit and ability to come up with snappy comebacks.

I've talked with my roommate before, but I have always been met with hostility. When I talked to him about his distrurbing/annoying characters he told me he was offended that I actually thought that he would "mistake fantasy for reality" (as if that were the problem). When I talked to him about the sarcastic comments he told me not to get offended because he didn't mean any harm, he does the same to everybody, and he just enjoys "joking with friends" (although, since I lack the ability to make snappy comebacks I am the butt of them disproportionately).

Finally I lost my temper tonight while gaming. First of all a sarcastic comment was made about my religion (I'm Christian and one player made a sarcastic remark about the supposed lack of intelligence of Christians in general.) I told the player to avoid religious jokes. Then later in the game a sarcastic barb was made towards me. It hit a really sore spot for me (my stuttering, and lack of speaking ability.) At that point I stood up and told the group that I was prepared to leave if those sarcastic remarks continued. I think several of the players were really surprised...they didn't know how much their comments offended me; they thought they were just joking around.

I don't know what to do...I really don't enjoy gaming that much with the group anymore because of the above reasons. I don't really want to just abandon the group (afterall I got the group together initially), but I'm not having as much fun anymore. Moreover, one of the players is my current roommate (although I'm hoping to get a different roommate or a single room next semester). *sigh* Sorry about the rant...I just had to get it off my chest!

The only things you have to do in this life are die and pay taxes. You don't have to take anyone's crap if you don't want to, regardless of whether its offensive or not to anyone else. I wouldn't bother having a "heart to heart" feel good session, just take a stand and tell them to knock it off and if they don't, just don't play DnD with them anymore.

 

[Kristivas]

Better yet, move here to Morgantown, WV. I'll be happy to let you live in my parents garage.

Sorry to get off-topic, but is that near Huntington? We're always looking for more players!

 

[Pielorinho]

Moderator's Notes:

I guess I was off on the day that board policy changed to allow posters to imply that other posters were wusses or alternately the type of people to lead to Columbine-style massacres. Fortunately, I'm not off today.

Folks, if you know that these threads rile you up and that your advice is going to be insulting, don't even open them, please. And if you do open them, don't post in them.

Thread locked. Sorry, shadow!

Daniel