If . . . Swords Against Death

[Warrior Poet]

Inspired by the discussion in the "Where are all the fantasy movies" thread, I got to thinking about Joshua Dyal's excellent suggestion of a Lankhmar movie.

So, fans of Fritz Leiber, what would you like to see in a Nehwon movie, if one was to be made (is there a license issue for this property, and would people even be interested in a such movie)? Big stars in the roles? Unknowns? What stories would translate to the movie screen? Who should direct? Which characters and events should be there? What iconic images from the series would be in the first teaser trailer? Who would do the score? How would you like to see the movie unfold? As a straight telling, or a voice-over recollection of past deeds by an aged minor character (or even Fafhrd or the Mouser himself)? Or something else?

Personally, I'd want to see a meeting of Sheelba and the Mouser, especially with no words exchanged whatsoever, plus Death, the gods of lankhmar, the mysterious passages of Ningauble's cave, the Street of the Gods, and plenty of sword fighting from the original two-weapon fighters (Drizzt who?)!

But what are your ideas?!

Warrior Poet

 

[Desdichado]

I don't remember the names of many of the stories anymore, but "Two Sought Adventure" was the one where they met on the street, ended up going into some Thieves' Guild and fought were-rats, right?

I think that one would make a great movie.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Ah, good example! That would be a great place to start, actually, as it introduces the characters and then gets right into why they're so cool, plus a neat way of introducing the city, which is a character in and of itself, as well as the guilds.

Cool!

Warrior Poet

 

[Chaldfont]

One of my "if I won the Powerball jackpot..." dreams has always been to make an animated TV show that highlights sci-fi/fantasy that hasn't made it into movie or TV form yet. Lankhmar would be top on my list.

What's great about this format would be that you could pick and choose what type of animation to do based on the material. You would also be able to do more short-story-type material due to the shorter length of the episode. I hate it when movies go from origin to "kill the archvillain" in 2 hours by compressing DECADES of episodic material.

For F. & The G.M.? I'd love to see them split the spoils "sixty-sixty" after taking out the thieves from the guild. I've always loved that.

Oh yeah, and that bit where they hire a dozen stevedores to help them steal a nobleman's party house and haul it back to the slums.

 

[Klaus]

Ill Met in Lankhmar.

A Fafhrd & Mouser movie would have to use Ill Met in Lankhmar + The Circle Curse. That ought to work out well.

I don't care if the actors were unknowns or not, as long as they had a great chemistry together. This should be a fantasy version of Lethal Weapon in terms of partnership.

 

[Wombat]

I don't care what story they start out doing as long as they eventually get around to Quarmall and, much more importantly, Issek of the Jug!

As for who...?

Well, my knowledge of a lot of current actors is pretty slight, so I am open to all sorts of suggestions

 

[S'mon]

I know it's heresy but a movie would be best taking a bunch of the best stories and conflating them into something new. It would be best to take stories from the first 3rd of the book series to leave space for a couple of proper sequels, so the first 2 books would be good source material.

 

[S'mon]

Swords of Lankhmar would be a good end to a trilogy, I like the Rime Isle stuff but really it's not on the same level.

 

[Zenodotus of Ephesus]

Would Tyler Mane make a good Fafhrd?

 

[barsoomcore]

I just recently re-read Swords of Lankhmar and my first thought upon putting it down was "Darn, I'd love to make a film of that!"

I think it's by far the best way to start making F&TGM films -- it's spectacular and crazy and full of action, has a massive climactic battle (in which, entertainingly, our heroes don't actually accomplish lots and need to get saved themselves on occasion). It'd be a great challenge to try and replicate Lieber's snide tone and all the mocking of the genre conventions he's always working into the story. There's lots of great visuals (the reveal of the Gods of Lankhmar, the rat city, Karl Teurhez's dragon, the Ghouls, tiny Mouser, and naked people everywhere), the story is very well-structured to suit a movie (opening sequence, Act I on the ship, Act II as our heroes follow their individual paths, Act III with Mouser's escape from the rat city and Fafhrd's entrance into Lankhmar, then there's a big fight), and the ending has a perfect "They ride off into the sunset" sort of feel to it. I'd tighten it up a bit, finding ways to integrate the Ghouls and the dragon a bit more, maybe not gloss quite so much about how Mouser gets back to Lankhmar, but overall, it rocks out loud, I reckon.

Pretty straightforward to adapt, with lots of market potential. Quick, who's got a few hundred grand for the rights?