I'm a bad DM

[kanithardm]

You'd suggest I pick a game over my family?

Depends on which member of the family.

 

[Chimera]

The topic was also brought up at a WOTC board. I said my piece, got no replies, and was slagged as a "bad DM" in a different thread.

No matter what you do, someone will always dislike you, or disagree with you.

No matter how extreme the position, you can always find some nutcase to agree with it. No matter how good the proposition, there will be people who oppose it.

Since you can never make 100% of the people in your life happy with everything you do (and you'll go completely insane if you try); Let it slide.

I happen to agree with the basic proposition of not coddling people who NO SHOW and then blow it off with petty excuses. I wouldn't tolerate that kind of player. One no show/no call, you get an icy stare and the expectaction that you will learn to communicate. Second time, you get harsh words and an ultimatum. Third time and we permanently part company.

It's downright inconsiderate and disrespectful of the GM and the other players. I don't want to know people who have that little concern for their fellow humans.


Now on the other hand, if you COMMUNICATE with me and let me know when why you're going to miss, then I have no problem at all if you need to miss even the majority of sessions for an extended period of time.

Life Happens.

 

[Festivus]

My policy too! I find it works very well. Of course I deal with non-present PCs by placing their characters just off frame in the comic -- fighting bad guys but different bad guys, looking after the horses or talking to the serving wenches at the feast.

I like that idea. I assume then they don't steal a share of the xp and don't penalize the players who do show up?

We use the no-show players as NPCs, they represent a share of the exp but don't actually accrue any.

Can you send some of the extra players from Humbolt down to Los Angeles?

 

[Lanefan]

Of course I deal with non-present PCs by placing their characters just off frame in the comic -- fighting bad guys but different bad guys, looking after the horses or talking to the serving wenches at the feast.

That's never made sense to me...the PC's would do what the PC's would do, regardless who's at the helm. So, they get played by the players who do show up, and if they stick their noses into danger they get ExP for it like anyone else. Of course, this also means they could die...

Lanefan

 

[Merkuri]

The DM for our online WLD game has a strict policy about attendance. If you're absent three times without a good excuse you're out. He's been lenient about what he considers a "good excuse" but you can get some real inconsiderate jerks who sign up to play OpenRPG games. For weeks after our first rogue died we never had a good scout. The player would show up late, not pay attention during the game, or simply not show up. When everyone is waiting for the scout to get back from scouting it makes the game very painful when the scout takes ten minutes to check each door because he's watching TV or doing other things at the same time as playing. Players like that get held very closely to the three-strikes rule, whereas when a long-time loyal player fails to show he's given the benefit of the doubt.

Some people mentioned not giving treasure as a punishment for "bad" players. Our DM yelled (or more accurately, laughed) at us in our game because we kept giving gear to players we could tell were not going to stick around, and we kept losing it when that player was kicked out and the character kicked the bucket or misteriously dissappeared. Even though we had a string of bad scouts, we kept giving the scout gear and treasure. The thing is, we're stuck in a giant dungeon where we cannot buy or sell anything. If we find goggles of night vision, it makes sense to give them to the rogue, even if his player only shows up every other session. Our characters didn't know the player was a dirtbag, and what else are we going to do with masterwork lockpicks? The DM started feeling sorry for us after a while and made up excuses for the rogue's best item to stick around after his demise. One character of a bad player had his head lopped off. The body was destroyed, but the head stayed behind. All of his gear was gone except for his really expensive goggles, still attached to the severed head.

 

[Blackwind]

Can you send some of the extra players from Humbolt down to Los Angeles?

Most people here are refugees from SoCal, myself included. Do you really have a shortage of players down there? Maybe you ought to send up some more DMs...

 

[Hypersmurf]

Of course I deal with non-present PCs by placing their characters just off frame in the comic -- fighting bad guys but different bad guys, looking after the horses or talking to the serving wenches at the feast.

We run playerless PCs by committee.

It's funny how generous and selfless characters can become when their player is absent... volunteering to open the door, touch the glowing idol, pay for the tab at the inn...

-Hyp.

 

[howandwhy99]

snip

Joe has some good advice here. Be careful with the way you treat your gaming buddies. They are going out of their way to spend time with you. If they're not able to, trust they have their priorities in order. Being courteous enough to call when they have already committed is big part of that responsibility. You know as the DM you would do the same, right? But cutting people out of your game for not being dedicated enough? That's hardly a way to ensure good will with the rest of the players... or benefit the hobby in general.

We have a more laid back player in our games. Seeing as the rest of us are a bunch of addicts, I think he might be the sane one. Suffice to say, I'm brainstorming ways to run the game so he can enjoy it while still offering the rigor other players enjoy. It's a balancing act, but I can't imagine any of us saying, "you've missed too many games. Bye." That's just cold.

 

[Fishbone]

Cold, but fair. Sometimes you gotta be cold. I might be the outlier who has been shafted so many times by people who put things, even the trivial, far ahead of not just the game but their friends, that as a DM I will come down and I will come down HARD on this behavior.
Its one of the main reasons that I'm wary of online games now, too. Something that should be easy is hard because of a no-show, something that should take 2 hours in "real life" game time takes 2 days because of a no-show, etc. That and the fact that the first 4 pages are never action, just yap-yap-yap making the accomplishment/time spent equation even further out of whack. It just really grates my cheese.

 

[Halivar]

"This is Advanced, Mark. ADVANCED." -- Graham the DM

Sometimes... sometimes, I like to skip out on my gaming group to hang out with people I haven't seen in a while. Or I just don't feel like playing that night. If you tell me I have an obligation to the game over even the most menial real-life stuff, I will find other people to play games with.

D&D is a hobby; not a way of life.