D&D 5E I'm incapacitated, but I can move just fine.

So, RAW, you can move up to your speed while incapacitated, but you cannot take the Dash action?

I think it is meant to reflect prisoners being walked along in a yoke and chains (or similar bindings).That way they can't attack, dash away, or cast a spell to escape, but you can still lead them to a cell or to the gallows.
 

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The everyday use of the word gets confused with the condition, leaving us wondering at the intent.

Business as usual with humankind...

1st, create a model (the condition) to represent reality (expressed by common use of the word)

2nd, get mad because reality doesn't want to follow your model

;)
 



Interestingly, the harpy leaves a foe incapacitated but still able to move and dash toward her without the incapacitated condition being a part of another condition.
 



What the heck turns you into a Potted Plant?
Well, say you're a spy for law enforcement who has infiltrated a hippie halfling group you suspect of plotting to overthrow the Man King. What happens when they pass you a pipe full of weed and expect you to smoke it?
 


I know this is a necro, but a stumbling drunk is actually not a good representation of incapacitated at all. Incapacitated doesn’t inflict any defensive penalties. Attackers don’t get advantage, you don’t have any penalties to saves, rogues can’t automatically sneak attack you, and so on. You defend yourself normally (barring things like uncanny dodge or the shield spell of course) and you can move. You can even stand up from prone or mount a horse.
 

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