Or do you think the negative feelings they have about being swept up in all of this are invalid?
I just saw a thing that allows me to frame a response to this:
Their feelings are what they are. It is not for me to speak to their feelings, or call them invalid.
However, feelings are not actions, behaviors, or choices. Your feelings do not give whatever you do a free pass. Having feelings does not mean your choices are good, constructive ones, above criticism. Feelings are not automatically justification.