D&D 5E In defense of my post....

[Stefano Rinaldelli]

Exactly. They get to know each other organically and know what each others' preferences and boundaries are. Which is what safety tools replicate when one doesn't have the luxury of gaming with old friends.

I mean, does anybody really have an issue with a potential game group having a conversation and saying "OK, what do we all want out of this game? Anything we should know?"

In my opinion no issue. But context is all. Somebody could associate it with some extreme manifestations of the sensitivity issue.

 

[Morrus]

In my opinion no issue. But context is all. Somebody could associate it with some extreme manifestations of the sensitivity issue.

I don't think we want to bring up phrases like "extreme manifestations of the sensitivity issue" here, do we? We all know exactly how that thread will end up, as it always does. Let's move on, please.

 

[Remathilis]

They share a reasonably common language, mental disposition, ideas and experiences. No conversation needed.

If you knew a friend had been raped, or lost a parent to gun violence, or been in an abusive relationship, you obviously wouldn't put those kinds of situations in front of thier PC unless you knew that they were okay with that. In essence, you know their lines and veils from just being thier friend. And if you do somehow tap into unknown trauma, friendships can find ways to overcome and learn from faux pas.

Safety tools do that with a group of not-long-term-friends gamers quickly and to the point. Because not everyone has a lifetime to make a bunch of friends and learn their past before running d&d for them.

 

[Uni-the-Unicorn!]

They share a reasonably common language, mental disposition, ideas and experiences. No conversation needed.

That is not always the case though even for long time friends. I have definitely been surprised before about someone’s opinions, reservations, and fears, even after I’ve known them for 30 years.

Edit: not to mention the fact that people do change over time.

 

[Uni-the-Unicorn!]

Somebody could associate it with some extreme manifestations of the sensitivity issue.

I don’t know, that doesn’t seem like something worth worrying about

 

[turnip_farmer]

They share a reasonably common language, mental disposition, ideas and experiences. No conversation needed.

I used to think this way, and I've never really beena user of overt safety tools beyond a bunch of current warnings at Session zero. But I think there are reasons to be cautious even with close friends.

It's easy to assume that everyone's having a good time and that they all understand the type of childish, over-the-top, gross-out content I sometimes like to engage in.

But, my friends don't tell me everything about themselves. I can avoid the cancer monster if I know Bob's mum just died of cancer, but what if Alice finds that my ravenous zombie foetus attack crosses the line for her for reasons that she's never felt comfortable revealing to me?

I haven't quite figured out my answer to that question yet

 

[ourmaninboston]

Your post was basically fine until you closed with the name calling. Stating your position without the parting shot would be FAR preferable, and more in accord with ENWorld’s preferred level of civility

Ishhhh.... Not the kind of thing that would do. No one tells me what to do or how to run things at my table but it is a simple question of mutual respect to not go where people are nor feeling OK with.

Now if an outsider isn't happy on how I run my table or the subjects we deal with. It is an other matter entirely. But I respect my players and they respect me enough to be aware of what would pass or not pass at my table. And for the stranger, I would have a conversation first, and if no agreement can be reached, the door can be used to get out too.

we are in complete agreement.

 

[Uni-the-Unicorn!]

Ishhhh.... Not the kind of thing that would do. No one tells me what to do or how to run things at my table but it is a simple question of mutual respect to not go where people are nor feeling OK with.

How do you know what someone is OK with?

 

[ourmaninboston]

Oooooh juicy comment, this makes me want to open a discussion on the concept of race in D&D and similar fantasy sci-fi settings. Personally, I love me some racism and sexism in my campaigns. It's like, you know, your players fight against those things. Which is cool.

I'd love to open a thread, but I wonder 1) if the mods allow it; 2) if the subject hasn't already been beaten to death here.

EDIT: wait, on closer look, you -are- already discussing the very same stuff in this very same thread.
I'd like to add my two cents. I've always loved controversial content. I think showing it is fighting it. You know the old tropes of how the villain "must not be named" but the heroes actually are not afraid to mention their true name and that makes the heroes stronger, because not saying the villain's name makes the villain stronger? That. It's exactly that. Show racism, show sexism, show the bad stuff, because to know it is to be able to fight it.

Hopefully I don't need to add that me adding violence or racism or even implied rape backstories does not mean I'm doing it WITHOUT the consent of my players first. That's a given. But I think that, unless someone is disturbed by a subject, anything is fair game even in a tabletop rpg setting. It's not the subject, it's definitely all in how you handle it.

somebody gets it.

Not sure I'd ever have occasion to bring rape into it, but you absolutely see the point.

This is about catharsis. Villains act villainous. Players defeat them - or at least try to - because racism, sexism, genocide, etc. need to be recognized and stopped. Going through the process verbally and mentally is HEALTHY. In fact, that fundamental principle is the very foundation of all dramatic entertainment that exists in western society.

And good lord, if one of my players was having a mental crisis due to a theme in a roleplaying session, of course I and my players are empathic enough to step in and change course. Nor would we engage in something that would be blatantly hurtful to one of us.

But no weird strictures or edicts need to be in place before a session for us to be decent human beings to each other.

 

[ourmaninboston]

How do you know what someone is OK with?

unless they say otherwise, willing participation means they're ok with the content. If they're not OK, all they have to do is speak up.