D&D 5E Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)(11/3/15)


Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 01
A Female! That’s My Favorite Encounter!

“You filthy peck!” the barmaid screamed. She then delivered a resounding slap that nearly knocked Cabo off of his chair. He righted himself and gave a half-smile to his companion, Gideon.

“That one likes me,” Cabo slurred.

“You give our race a bad name,” Gideon chided shaking his head.

Cabo’s other companions seemed oblivious to the exchange and were debating the merits of various metals. Stridently making his point was the Dwarf, Brodek. Listening calmly to the Dwarf’s rant was another halfling, a sorcerer named Osbourne.

The four had come to this outpost on the edge of the wilderness looking for new starts. Old Ox Inn was no longer an Inn, but more of a complete village under one roof. It was clear from the layout of the place the proprietor had big plans.

“Keep your hands off my girls!” boomed a loud voice at the end of the table. The group looked up to see a large man with fiery red hair and a sizable potbelly beaming down at them. “It’s rare we get the wee race in here, and even rarer that they cause problems.”

“A simple misunderstanding,” Cabo slurred. Gideon stood on his chair and offered an open hand to the man while introducing himself. The man warmly greeted Gideon and introduced himself as Lant Marrowkind, the owner of the Old Ox. The rest of the group introduced themselves as well. During the ensuing conversation Lant explained his efforts to tame this area and the efforts he made in the last several years expanding the Old Ox. When Lant learned the group was looking for work he let them know his niece was supposed to arrive four days ago and he was worried. There was a new roving band of goblins that had attacked some caravans recently. He asked if the group would be interested in taking out the band and looking for his niece.

“What are you paying?” the dwarf asked.

“All the food you can eat, all the drink you can drink, and a place to rest your heads,” Lant replied.

“Done,” the dwarf replied.

The Dwarf’s other three companion looked at him quizzically. The Dwarf shot at glare at them and said, “Look, you pecks don’t have to come, I can go myself.” The halflings exchanged a buzz of conversation and then agreed to Lant’s terms as well.

Cabo did try to get a bonus, “What about her?” He thumbed toward the barmaid who had just slapped him silly.

“Nay, my friend, that’s not a business I’ll tolerate in this premises,” Lant replied. “Besides she is my third cousin removed or something - anyway, she’s blood.”

The rest of the evening involved copious amounts of drinking and feasting and was largely uneventful except for Cabo getting slapped by various females working the lower tavern.

The group that now trudged along the trail in the mid-morning sun did not inspire confidence. Hung over and unsettled from too much rich food the three halflings made frequent stops for water, both drinking and leaving. The dwarf was the only one of the group who was not a shambling mess. However, following a mid-day meal, even the halflings began to feel better.

The group travelled along a path edged with light woods and heavy undergrowth one either side. The path ran parallel to a small river the group could see through the foliage most of the time and provided the welcome relief of cool, clean water.

Suddenly, the dwarf’s hand shot up at the front of the group. The halflings immediately stopped and quit chatting. The monk, Gideon, moved quietly up to the dwarf and asked, “What is it?”

The Dwarf tapped his nose and whispered, “I smell gobbos.” The group remained very still and calm for a few minutes and finally the spotted a pair of goblins hunched in the foliage to the side of the path.


“Here’s what I think we should do…,” Osbourne the sorcerer began to whisper.

A great war cry came out of the Dwarf, “Die greenskin vermin!” The heavily armored dwarf trundled in a charge towards the goblins.
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Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 02
Green Gooey Gobbo Guts.

As the Dwarf bellowed and lumbered to the attack, Cabo was already on the move. Cabo had not survived the mean streets by standing around at times like this. He snuck through the underbrush and delivered a nasty back stab right through a goblin’s neck!

The dwarf had finally reached his target. He raised his mighty maul and brought down the bulky weapon and it hit with a reverberating crash right on - a tree.

The remaining goblin took a quick stab at the dwarf and then ran across the path to the underbrush on the other side. Soon the adventurers realized the goblin was headed for a hidden cave just beyond the path.

Osbourne tried to hit the goblin with an acid spell, but it quickly dodged aside.


Gideon, the monk, was in fast pursuit. He realized if the goblin escaped into the cave it could raise a hue and cry and alarm any other nasties within. When Gideon realized he was not going to close the distance he planted his feet and whipped a dart at the goblin. The dart hit the goblin, but not solidly. The wounded humanoid ducked inside the cavern.

Osbourne asked, “Should we go…”

Cabo and the dwarf went charging right in after the goblin. The dwarf’s heavy armor echoing through the cavern sounded like an entire palace kitchen’s worth of pots and pan being flung down a flight of stone steps.

“...in?” Osbourne finished meekly. He shrugged, cast a light spell and with Brother Gideon followed the pursuit.

Cabo and the dwarf waded head long into a room full of more goblins. A trap for most mortals, but a target rich environment for the dwarf and rogue.


Cabo was brutal with his stabbing short sword and in quick succession a couple of goblins went down. The dwarf was finally in his element - a confined space, underground, surrounded by stone, and no trees. Here his maul bashed into goblins, and smashed goblins flew through the air like leaves in a stiff breeze.

Brother Gideon felt the hair on his neck rise as he followed the whirling carnage of Cabo and the dwarf - there was an insane cackling. It was a low, dark, gravelly sound, with more than a hint of madness attached - a gleeful and frightening sound. The monk quickly realized the crazed laughter was coming from the dwarf. “My gods,” he thought, “I’m glad he is on our side!”

One of the goblins tried to dash away deeper into the cavern. Osbourne’s acid spell again missed its mark. Gideon hit the goblin with another dart, but it managed to limp on.

Again Cabo and the dwarf dashed after the greenskin. The entire melee was a maelstrom of chaos - dashes through the dim caverns punctuated by brutal fights. The cacophony of sound was almost overwhelming. The dwarf’s armor banged loudly as he trundled along and every new combat brought forth that gleeful, yet worrying, cackling.

Cabo, despite his skills was no better at times. Everytime he stabbed a goblin he would yell comments like “get some”, “this is for your Mom”, “How’d that taste”, etc. When he achieved a kill he would yell something Osbourne could not quite make out. Then he realized the dwarf was doing it too. They were yelling numbers! They were keeping score, and amazingly Cabo was slightly in the lead.

Pursuing the goblin he had already injured, Gideon led the adventurers straight into another room full of goblins. These gobbos were better prepared and had put up barriers and had bows with arrows pointing at the group as the poured into the cavern.


This confirmed Osbourne’s fears. He hoped there were not a lot more goblins down here, because they would be more and more prepared and face the group in force.

Cabo, the dwarf, and Gideon swung into action. The dwarf’s maul carved a green streak of blood in a wide arc as fragments of goblin were pasted instantly to the walls. Cabo was sinking his blade deep in goblin vitals while yelling insults. Gideon, apparently caught up in the fighting frenzy jumped atop a crate a goblin was using for cover. The monk delivered a flying, furry front kick to the goblin’s skull knocking the greenskin dead. Everyone was killing and counting in a mad orgy of green death.

Finally, there were no more goblins. There were two exits from this cavern. The adventurers seemed to suddenly pause all at once and began to assess their situation.

“We need to secure our flank before we pursue,” Cabo offered. There was general agreement amongst the group on this point. Osbourne had spied one of the goblins escaping down one corridor. Cabo suggested setting a trap using some of the many barrels in the room at the other corridor.

The trap was set, or so they hoped, and they set off down the other corridor.

They were walking now, not the mad rush and half-run of the previous travel through the corridor, but a deliberate, measured stalking. The dwarf was in the lead and quickly pulled the group to a stop. “I smell a bunch of gobbos down this way,” he said. The dwarf had a sinister grin visible beneath his blood-matted, bristly beard. “It’s smashing time.”


Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 03
Who Knew Goblins’ Had Warehouses?

Hustling down the corridor the group emerged in a 30-foot wide cavern. A large goblin was standing amongst three other goblins. The Goblin Chief began to say something to the adventurers in halting, common tongue - “Me want…”

The Dwarf, Brodek, dashed across the cavern screaming, “Die vermin scum!”

>D.M. Note< Here endeth the parley.


The Goblin Chief was a tough customer. He had survived a lot of tough times by running away from the best of them. The concerted effort of the adventurers was too much for him. The dwarf’s hammer ended his reign in a splash of entrails and green blood.

One of the chief’s henchmen got away though and the group was in hot pursuit.


When the fleeing goblin managed to easily dodge the carefully constructed clever barrel trap (™) that Cabo had designed curses went up from the pursuers. They paused at the room with the barrels and caught their breath.

“I guess we will need to remove the barrels,” Brodek the dwarf stated.

“We know where the trip wire is. We can just use this cavern as a fallback position if things get hairy further in,” Osbourne suggested.

“Let’s move this crate to form another defensive position,” Cabo offered.

Gideon and Cabo dragged the crate next to the northern wall to create a barrier. Satisfied with their contingency preparations the group made their way down the north corridor.

Corridor weaved around and terminated at a cavern seemingly filled to the brim with all kinds of barrels, boxes, and sacks. A three-foot narrow path weaved through the room.

Osbourne could not help, but have the feeling he should recognize the insignia on most of the crates, but he could not place it. “Who knew goblins had warehouses?” he queried.

“Smells of gobbos, but I don’t know if they are here now,” Brodek said.

“I could punch my way through a bunch of these boxes to give us some fighting room,” Gideon the monk suggested.

“Let’s not be hasty,” Cabo replied. “‘Sides, there might be some valuables in the boxes.”

After some further debating the group formed up in a single line and began snaking their way through the chamber. Around half way through the adventurers were jumped by goblins.


Brodek and Gideon quickly put down their opponents, but Cabo, and especially Osbourne was struggling. The nasty gobbo attacking Osbourne had cut a nasty gash in the sorcerer with a rusty short sword. Another wound like that, and the sorcerer would be dead. The confines of the chamber were working against the adventurers. Brodek and Gideon could not squeeze past to help their compatriots.The goblin was perched atop a stack of crates and had the superior position.

Cabo managed to kill the goblin assailing him, but not before sustaining a wound as well.

Osbourne desperately stabbed up at the goblin. He missed and the thrust had left him off-balance and vulnerable. The goblin grinned devilishly as it saw its opportunity. The nasty, foul creature stabbed viciously at the sorcerer.

To be continued....


Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 04
The Dynamic Rescue or Loot Gathering

The goblin amazingly missed and nearly tumbled off the crate. Osbourne stuck his blade in the off-balance goblin’s gut and it fell to the ground graveyard dead.

The adventurers commenced rooting through the crates and barrels. Osbourne suddenly spoke up, “I recognize these symbols! These are supplies for the Old Ox.”

“So?” Cabo asked while ripping open a sack.

“So, we could get a finder’s fee from Lant,” Osbourne replied.

“Oh,” Cabo said and paused from his rifling. “How much?”

“It’s a lot of stuff. I don’t know, maybe 50 gold,” Osbourne replied.

“I found some silk!” Gideon yelled out.

“What about the finder’s fee,” Osbourne asked.

“We found everything, BUT the silk…” Cabo replied.

The group of adventurers came to a general consensus to keep the silk and report the rest to Lant Marrowkind. As they were searching they heard a muffled moan coming from the exit to the north.

The adventurers carefully picked their way down the passage and some stairs leading down. The stairs opened up into a chamber and there they found a woman tied up and sitting against the wall. They untied her and learned that her two goblin “jailers” had left the room a couple of hours ago. They also affirmed that she was Lant Marrowkind’s niece.


The woman’s report about her goblin captors confused the group until they found a secret door in the northern niche of the chamber.

Reluctantly, the group decided they needed to escort the young woman back to the Old Ox and come back to explore further later. She was worth too much money to just let her wander around the wilderness herself. Afterall, they took the time to rescue her they might as well make sure their reward was secure!


Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 05
What’s That Smell?

“How did it go with Lant?” Gideon asked Osbourne the sorcerer.

“60 crowns finder fee for the caravan materials and his niece and a fortnight worth of bed and board whenever we choose to use it,” Osbourne replied.

“Cheap,” Brodek the dwarf complained. “That’s what I get for letting a peck negotiate where gold is involved.”

“Maybe you can negotiate the price for the silk Lant undoubtedly thinks is still safe with the rest of his order,” Osbourne shot back.

“Look, we got the man his supplies back, rescued his kin mostly undamaged from the goblins, and all in the space of two sunsets. I agree with Brodek - Lant got off cheap,” Cabo stated.

“What do you mean she was mostly ‘undamaged’?” Gideon asked. “Please do not tell me you took advantage of that girl! You could ruin our meal ticket here.”

“Oh no! I never touched her!” Cabo responded vehemently. “If she was violated the offspring will have a decidedly green tinge to its skin.”

“By the Masters! I did not need that vision put in my head,” Gideon the monk complained.

“Hey, you are the one who started tossing accusations around,” Cabo said.

“We set off at first light,” Brodek announced. “That gives me a few hours to try and get drunk on this watery brew.”


“Here’s the catch that releases the door,” Cabo whispered back to the group. Cabo had been working on the secret door for twenty minutes while the rest of the group fidgeted in anticipation.

“Less talk, more door openin,,” Brodek demanded.

“I thought I might check it for traps first,” Cabo said. The Halfling thief began to carefully search over the stonework and finally whispered back that there were no traps. Cabo then stepped back from the door.

“Are you going to open the door?” Gideon asked. “You are the one who said it had no traps.”

“Fine,” Cabo stepped forward and threw the secret door open. Two very shocked goblins bolted upright as Osbourne’s light spell penetrated the gloom.


Cabo ducked into the chamber and stabbed one of the surprised goblins in the groin. Brodek strode in and pasted the other goblin against the wall, largely reducing the humanoid to a two-dimensional form. Osbourne cast a chill touch and finished off the first goblin Cabo had stabbed.

The chamber had clearly served as a storage room in the long past. Gideon did manage to find a barrel of some usable oil and proceeded to fill up a couple of waterskins with oil. There was a very long passage extending away from the storage area.


The passage ended after several hundred feet and Cabo quickly found a concealed door at the end. The problem was the door seemed to be hinged at the top. The door was extremely heavy, but Brodek with help could move it up, however, bracing the door was not possible. The adventurers made several trips back and forth to the storage room collecting rubbish and eventually used the collection of broken crates, barrels, and other assorted garbage to prop the door.

The room the adventurers entered looked like a foundation of some sort. Further, there was certainly something rotten in the area. The odor of the place was nearly overwhelming.

“Is that you?” Osbourne asked the dwarf Brodek.

“Watch it peck,” Brodek snarled.

Cabo was gagging so hard he could hardly stand upright.

That’s when the foul creatures struck. A horrid pair of troglodytes emerged from hiding from along the walls. Their scaly hides still colored the dark gray that allowed them to blend into the surroundings so completely. They lashed out with fang and claw and opened a nasty wound on the monk Gideon.

Brodek who had drank brew that smelled worse than these creatures dispatched one with a crushing blow from his maul.

Gideon unleashed a lightning fast combination of blows that staggered and then dropped the other troglodyte.

“That’s some peckish fury there!” Brodek called out admiringly.

A quick search revealed nothing of value, but also confirmed their earlier suspicions they had ventured into a foundation of some sort. Gideon guessed it might be a castle or keep of some sort due to the thickness of the walls.

“Human construction,” Brodek reported. “Shoddy, very shoddy.”

“I know of no castle or keep in the area,” Osbourne commented. “The largest structure for miles around is the Old Ox.”

“Let’s pick one of the two passages out of here,” Cabo pleaded. “This stench reminds me of a girl I tried to bed from the village of Heybe-el.”

“I guess that’s one time you let the lass go, eh?” Osbourne asked.

“Nah, I went and got the village doctor’s plague mask and took her in her dad’s barn. Couldn’t smell a thing. The next day I smelled terrible and I realized my clothes were stained from all the manure I had rolled around in the previous evening,” Cabo smiled at the memory.

Osbourne was giggling, Gideon shook his head in disbelief and disgust, and the dwarf Brodek was heading down a dark passage leading away from the room. He called back over his shoulder, “Pecks, this way.”


The passage emerged into a room with rounded corners and another passage leading out. A stone staircase was against one wall and ascended out of the room to a pile of rubble. There were tiny rays of sunlight streaming through holes in the rubble at the top landing. There was also a sizable pile of rubble at the base of the stairs.


Cabo began to look through the pile of rubble at the base of the stairs. A short while after initiating his investigation the halfling thief jumped away from the pile. The others quickly spied what had so startled Cabo - a nasty 14-inch long centipede darted out from the pile and came towards them.

Gideon stepped towards the creature and with two quick punches smashed the critter flat.

“It didn’t bite you did it?” Osbourne asked Cabo.

“No, but it tried,” Cabo replied.

“That’s lucky. Those creatures are highly poisonous,” Osbourne stated.

“I don’t much like the look of those stairs anyway,” Brodek grunted. “Too unstable. The whole thing could collapse on top of you.”

“With the sunlight coming in that way I would say there isn’t much building left above us anyway,” Gideon said.

The adventurers agreed to move on through the unexplored passages first before returning to check the stairs out further.


The tunnel emerged into a large room, but most concerning immediately were the four troglodytes lurking there.


The adventurers were ready for the smelly beasts this time, but they knew this was going to be no easy fight.

to be continued….

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