D&D 5E Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)(11/3/15)

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Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 25
Where Did It Go?

The group caught their collective breath and sat down to rest.

“So what’s the problem with this lass?” Cabo asked Gideon.

“For the last time, I don’t want to talk about it!” Gideon retorted.

Cabo began rummaging around his bag. Eventually, the halfling rogue brought forth the desiccated imp body and fixed it to his hand as a macabre puppet. Cabo said in a high squeaky voice, “Maybe, you won’t talk to Cabo, but Spot is here now. Spot can help you with your female problem. Spot has a way with the ladies.”

Brodek gave a disgusted snort at the dead imp/puppet. Helja wrinkled her nose and Erik watched Cabo with a bemused smirk. Osbourne was deep in concentration on some arcane concern and ignored the whole thing.

Gideon, however, was not amused. The halfling monk had a look somewhere between burning anger and complete bewilderment.

“Spot loves you and wants to make you all better. You can tell Spot the problem,” Cabo squeaked in a high voice.

Gideon stood up and gathered his sparse belongings. “I have to go.”

“What?” Brodek asked startled by the monk’s abrupt action.

“I have to take care of some things. I will see you in a few days,” Gideon was striding purposefully out of the chamber. Gideon walked quickly away even as Helja was calling for him to come back.

“Spot did not mean to scare him away,” Cabo said in a pitiful high voice.

“Peck! Put that thing away before my hammer smashes off your hand and the imp and burns both in the fire!” Brodek barked.

Cabo shrugged and put the imp back in his traveling bag. “I don’t know what’s more pitiful - a monk in love or your personal equipment issues.”

Osbourne snapped out of his deep arcane trance-like state, “What happened? Where’s Gideon?”

“Spot scared him away,” Cabo replied.

“I think it is a little more complicated that that,” Helja interjected. “He went back to deal with some personal issues.”

“So we’re killing monsters and taking loot and the monk left to have a good cry and settle up some woman issues,” Brodek declared. “Where are his priorities?”

“Love is like fire: It brings warmth and yet it burns,” Erik pronounced.

“And on that note, let’s go kill something,” Brodek stated.


“What is that awful smell?” Helja exclaimed.

“That’s Brodek - I thought you knew him, let me introduce you,” Cabo said.

“Shut it Peck,” Brodek replied. “The chamber is piled high with rotting refuse.”

A light was brought up so the rest of the group could see what Brodek was talking about. The dark cavern was indeed piled high with rotting garbage.

“The odor of gold is seldom sweet,” Erik pronounced.

“True enough priest,” Brodek replied and commenced wading into the piles. Cabo crept in next to the dwarf.

“Wait! There is something moving…” Osbourne yelled. His shout was cut short by the emergence of a pair of ghastly tentacles from the refuse.


A hooked and suckered tentacle lashed out and dragged Cabo towards the creatures yawning maw. Cabo jerked away, but not until the creature bit into his arm flesh. Helja rushed to the attack as the priest Erik prayed for a blessing. The creature now distracted by the charging female dwarf soon felt the painful bite of Cabo’s magical dagger. Brodek let his hammer fly at the beast, which smacked it with an audible thud. Osbourne poured magical bolts into the creature. The Otyugh soon collapsed, dead.

“Medic!” Cabo wailed. “I mean, Erik!”

Erik the priest made his way over to the halfling rogue and inspected his weeping arm wound. “Hmmm,” Eric droned as he inspected the wound. “Already infected, likely disease in the blood as well.”

“Praise the deity! save me,” Cabo whined.

“I do not have the supplication available now. It will have to wait for the new sun,” Erik replied.

“What? After all the single-hearted devotion I have shown your god, and this is the thanks I get,” Cabo said.

“My god?”

“Our god, I mean our god,” Cabo quickly corrected himself.

“In either case, the supplication of our god must wait until morning. You will survive until then,” Erik replied.

“Suck it up Peck. Let’s move on,” Brodek declared.


“What are these ratlings?” Brodek cried out.


“They are desert jackalwares. They should not be here!” Erik exclaimed.

“Let’s send them to their final home then!” Brodek cried charging across the cavern.

“Beware of their gaze!” Erik called out.

Brodek caught sight of one of the creature’s gaze and in a moment he was snoring face down on the floor.

The rest of the group was more cautious in their approach and quickly halved the number of the enemy. Then from a side corridor emerged a creature with the upper half of a beautiful woman and the lower half of a beast. She unleashed her rage on Helja like a lioness who has returned from the hunt to find her cubs dead.


A trio of the jackalwares merged on Cabo and sorely pressed him to his limit. “Wake up Brodek!” he yelled at the massive dwarf’s slumbering form. Helja stepped in and gutted two of the jackalwares. and Osbourne poured magical bursts into the lamia. Finally, the room was cleared of enemies and Erik shook a groggy Brodek awake.

“A lovesick monk, a priest who won’t cure, and a dwarf who sleeps through fights - what kind of special hell am I in?” Cabo complained loudly.

“The worst hell is one of your own making,” Erik pronounced.

Cabo could only chuckle in response.

Helja called out from the sidehall, “I think this may give you some relief, come see.”


The group sifted through a sizable treasure made up mostly of coins.


As the group prepared to take a short rest a presence appeared at the doorway.

“Look not this way,” a female voice called out from the shadows. “It is not my intention to ossify you, but to treat shortly.”

“Why should we speak with you foul gorgon?” Brodek called out.

The medusa replied, “There is no need for hostilities. My master is mightily impressed with your prowess and wishes to avoid a costly engagement.”

“I bet. What’s in it for us?” Helja asked.

“You are learning lass,” Cabo whispered and winked at the female dwarf.

“Treasures,” the medusa replied.

“Like what?” Osbourne asked. “Gold and silver hold no special appeal to us.”

“Magical arms and armor, magical implements of great power,” the medusa cooed.

“In exchange for what?” Osbourne asked.

“My master gets three days to leave these halls,” the medusa replied.

“What kind of magical treasures specifically?” Osbourne asked.

A spinning hammer went swishing over Osbourne’s head and made an audible thud as it struck the medusa.

>D.M. Note< Here endeth the parley.

Helja and Cabo jumped into action. The dwarveness braved the gorgon’s gaze and landed two terrible blows. Her efforts distracted the medusa enough to allow Cabo to deeply plant his dagger in the creature’s spine. In mere seconds the medusa lay twitching in a pool of her own blood.

“We could have at least heard what she had to say,” Osbourne complained.

“Look peck, it would have lied about the treasures. If it didn’t lie, we’re going to kill its master anyway. That treasure either does not exist or it does and we will get it anyway,” Brodek explained.

“I hate to admit, there is a certain logic to that,” Osbourne admitted.

“Right, let’s move out,” Brodek said.


The group went through a small chamber and slayed a buzzing demon with little effort. The next chamber caused the group to pause. The octagonal chamber contained several chests, ornate candelabras, and implements of torture.

“There is a foul presence here,” Erik stated.

“It’s Brodek, you’ll get used to him,” Cabo said. “I’ll check it out.”


Cabo crept cautiously into the chamber.


An enormous snake-creature appeared behind Cabo and struck. Poison coursed through the halflings body and Cabo felt the life blood leaving his body. Cabo stumbled like a drunken sailor. The giant, snake-like creature prepared to strike the defenseless halfling again. The rest of the adventurers were galvanized into action. Brodek launched his hammer, Helja rushed in and struck with her pick, Osbourne unleashed magical missiles, and even Erik rushed to the attack.

The cumulative weight of the group’s attacks grievously injured the creature. A moment later it disappeared.

“It has gone invisible!” Erik shouted.

“No, it has cast a minor transportation spell. It cannot be far away,” Osbourne corrected.

A brief debate followed on what to do. Treasure was gathered and it was decided to take a long rest in the Lamia’s lair. Following the rest the adventurers began scouring through the halls. They opened hall near the snake-like creature’s lair and found four ancient mummies.


A great, wicked grin spread across Osbourne’s face. The wee mage called forth a massive fireball and the shrouds of the mummies burst into burning balls. Soon all four fell to their final rest.

The search continued for many hours, but the group could find no sign of the “master”.


“Let’s head back to Streamington my lords and lady,” Osbourne announced.

“Lords and lady?” Helja queried.

“Sure, we’re all landed nobility now,” Osbourne replied.

to be continued...


First Post
I love that my job is just to tell people so shut up via hammer, it saves us so much time, my hammers name is now "Here-endeth-the-parley" if silence is still a status effect I need to figure out a way to make my hammer cause it.


Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 26
Oil and Chicken

The adventurers gained a grant of 5,000 hectares between the rivers south of Streamington. With the deed in their pocket the group headed back to the Old Ox Inn.


“That was a fine meal Lant,” Osbourne said to the proprietor of the Old Ox Inn.

“Except as newly landed gentry, we should be dining in the upper inn,” Cabo said.

“It would cease to be the upper inn if you dined up there,” Helja retorted.

“Actually, I may have a problem in the upper inn you might help me with,” Lant Marrowkind said. “I have a guest I have not seen for a couple of days.”

“We leave for weeks at a time,” Brodek pointed out.

“This is different. He went up to his room and has not emerged. He does not respond to knocks at the door. I’m worried. He seemed like a nice gentleman.”

“You will take me to his room and allow me entry,” Erik stated.

“Why?” Lant asked.

“If he has passed, I want to give him final rites,” Erik replied.

“Oh gods forbid! No offense Father. Surely not that,” Lant exclaimed.

“Lant, we will all go,” Helja reassured the inn keeper.


Lant knocked on the room door. Receiving no answer he keyed the door open and the adventurers came inside. The room was unoccupied.


“I promise you he came in here and has not left,” Lant said.

Cabo started going through his personal effects and found a sash, a sabre, and a black overcoat in a bed chest.

“Hey, those are his things,” Lant protested.

“I know,” Cabo answered as he continued rifling through the chest. “I’m just trying to get a clue as to what happened to him.”

“Was this mirror and pitcher part of the room decor?” Erik asked.

“No,” Lant replied.

“Take it off the wall,” Brodek said.

“I don’t think it can be removed without damaging the room or the mirror,” Erik said.

“Don’t disturb it,” Lant said.

“What’s this on the floor?” Osbourne asked. Everyone edged closer to see the puddle of clear liquid on the floor between the mirror and the bed.

“Taste it,” Cabo suggested.

“You taste it,” Osbourne retorted.

“Alright, what’s in the pitcher? Maybe it spilled,” Erik volunteered.

“Not this,” Helja said. She pulled down the pitcher so everyone could look inside to see the oily, green liquid within.

“Lamp oil maybe?” Brodek asked.

“Not any oil I use,” Lant answered.

“I need two bowls and a chicken Lant,” Cabo demanded.

“What? Lant recoiled.

“I have to figure what this stuff is,” Cabo replied.


“What are you doing with that chicken?” Are you choking my chicken?” Lant asked.

“Relax Lant. I’m not choking your chicken,” Cabo replied. Cabo continued to daub oil on the chicken.

“Be gentle. You are choking my chicken,” Lant protested.

“Lant, I promise you I would never choke your chicken,” Cabo replied. The halfling thief took the oil smeared chicken and threw it at the mirror. Something remarkable happened. The chicken slipped through the mirror and for a moment everyone in the room saw a ship at sea next to a tropical island. “Now, I do owe you a chicken. And, now we know where your guest went.”

“What now?” Lant asked.

“Lock the door and do not let anyone come in here until we come out,” Osbourne replied.

“Why?” Lant asked.

“Because we are going to go find your guest,” Osbourne answered.


The adventurers piled it one another as they tumbled onto a wooden floor. They found themselves in a cabin on a rolling ship. There was a knock at the door and then it opened. Brodek moved quickly and wrenched the man entering the room down to the floor. Two quick fists to the belly knocked the breath out of him. As the man lay gasping on the floor Helja tied his arms and Brodek gagged him.

Erik whispered something to Cabo and then sank on one knee before the man. “I am going to cast a spell on you. It will force you tell the truth. If you resist the spell I will have you killed, and then, I will talk to your corpse and get the truth anyway. It is really up to you.” Erik then took a dagger and cut the man’s palm and rubbed his finger in the blood. He then made a strange symbol on the man’s forehead and withdrew mumbling.

Cabo withdrew the man’s gag and began asking questions. The man told Cabo his name was First Mate Goyle and that he was aboard the sailing ship Lucretia. He also revealed that the Captain was with a group of sailors at the nearby island seeking the Idol of the Shaded Moon. Further questioning revealed that the captain’s cabin was a summoning circle that had a complicated ritual attached to it. Finally, First Mate Goyle told the group where to find all of the navigation charts and maps in the cabin.

Erik rushed over to the maps to ascertain the ship’s rough location. It was a great relief to the cleric to find that indeed the group was still in the same world or plane of existence.

“Looks like we have a ship and a map home,” Brodek declared. “I would say our work is done here.”

“You mean just abandon the captain! That’s mutiny!” First Mate Goyle protested.

“Mutiny infers that we owe some sort of loyalty to your captain, which we do not,” Cabo countered. “Impress upon us it is worth our while to go after the former claimant of this vessel.”

“First, you came here looking for him,” Goyle offered.

“Actually, we were trying to solve a mystery, which we largely have,” Erik stated. “But, please, go on.”

“The captain is on the trail of the Idol of the Shaded Moon, and he believed the idol was right here on this island. Even if the captain is gone, can you pass up a chance at such a fabulous treasure?” Goyle asked.

“Now, we’re talking. How much is it worth?” Brodek asked.

“I don’t know,” Goyle admitted.

“What is it’s power?” Osbourne asked.

“I don’t know,” Goyle admitted.

“What religion or god does the idol serve?” Erik asked.

“I don’t know,” Goyle admitted.

“I must say, you pretty much a failure in the temptation department,” Cabo noted.

The group huddled up and decided to go to the island and look for the captain - mainly because the alternative sounded fairly dull.


The trip in the row boat to the island was eventful in the harbor as a number of large toothy creatures kept zooming past. The ship pilot used a harpoon to steer the creatures away from the boat. The group made landfall on a white sand beach. They adventurers quickly found another rowboat pulled far up the beach. Next to the boat they found a dead sailor.

“An inauspicious beginning,” Erik declared,

“For him at least,” Cabo agreed as he rifled through the dead man’s clothes.

The adventurers found the remnants of a trail leading away from the boat and set-off into the jungle.


The adventurers continued to scale the mountain in the hopes that a higher vantage point would give them the lay of the land. Passing by a small cavern nestled near a rocky outcropping they were confronted by a large mountain troll.


The fight was an extremely one-sided affair and soon the scent of burning troll flesh permeated the mountain air. The group used the small cavern as a campsite and the following morning they continued their trek around the other side of the mountain. There they caught a glimpse of several smoke columns rising from several campfires in a small village in a clearing beyond the mountains in the jungle.


Invisibly, thanks to Osbourne, Cabo scouted the village. He found little evidence the huge shaggy creatures that occupied the village had interacted with the captain and his men. Then, Cabo entered a shaman’s hut and found what appeared to be human skins. Cabo returned to the group at the edge of the jungle and revealed what he had found.

Osbourne cast invisibility on Cabo and Helja. The duo snuck around the village and found their way to the shaman’s hut. They launched an attack on the shaman.


The twin attacks of the duo quickly struck the shaman down. They then snuck around and set two of the huts on fire. The hairy villagers came running towards the fire.


As the villagers bunched together Osbourne stepped from behind a hut and lit the villagers and all of their huts up with fireballs. Soon, the entire place was a conflagration.

Cabo jumped and danced in the great shadows of the tall flames.


Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)

Episode 27
Enemy of my Enemy is my Enemy

Helja perked up and called out to the others, “There is an old road or foundation under here.”

“Maybe this is related to the old temple mentioned in the shaman’s scrolls,” Osbourne volunteered.

“Only one way to find out. Let’s make a road trip,” Brodek remarked.


As the adventurers struggled through the lower jungle, following the old road, a large flock of bat-winged creatures with large proboscis descended toward the group.

“Stirges!” Helja cried out.

Erik murmured an invocation and an aura of radiant light rose up around the group. The stirges crashed into the holy light and fell to the ground.

“Holy flyswatter!” Osbourne exclaimed.

Erik merely smiled and gathered his pack to continue the travels.


Following the road through a few miles of jungle the adventurers spied a large volcano looming up ahead of them. As the group came closer to the volcano they spied a large temple entrance built into the slope. After a short discussion the adventurers decided to fall back on standard procedure - charge!

Charging up the old road they were confronted by a massive fire elemental. A huge voice rose up from behind the flaming elemental, “What sacrifice did you bring to the temple!”

The group unleashed hell on the elemental and it’s life energy was quickly extinguished.

A great Efreeti dressed in black robes appeared in the temple. “Why have you slain my servant?”

“Your next flame monkey,” Brodek retorted.

The fight was brutal and short and the Efreeti fell just as his pet had.

Cabo explored the inner shrine and weathered the extreme heat to see a man strapped to a pole on an island in a lake of lava. Cabo returned to the group and reported what he had found.

“There is no way to get to him,” Cabo remarked.

“Was it the Captain?” Osbourne asked.

“No idea,” Cabo admitted. “He was too far away to see.”

“Well, let’s allow him to keep cooking while we look around,” Helja offered. “We cannot get to him right now anyway.”

“Fair enough,” Brodek stated. “Back to the road.”


The road led to the other end of the island and a fire giant lair. The group quickly killed the giant and looted its lair. They found evidence that the giant was a rival and of the Efreeti and was seeking a way to overthrow him.

“Do you suppose the giant was immune to harm from heat and fire?” Osbourne asked.

“Undoubtedly,” Erik replied.

“I guess we should have parleyed,” Osbourne mused.

“Well, I guess the captain’s dead,” Brodek quipped.

The group headed back to the ship.


“The captain’s dead?” the mate asked.

“Burned to a crisp,” Cabo replied.

“How do you know?”

“We saw him die in a lake of lava,” Sabo explained.

“Oh dear gods!”

“Yeah, it was just terrible,” Cabo dead-panned. “Well, let’s get this boat rolling.”

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