Intrepid Adventures of Legend or Hobo Murderers on the Loose (a pogre storyhour)
Episode 25
Where Did It Go?
The group caught their collective breath and sat down to rest.
“So what’s the problem with this lass?” Cabo asked Gideon.
“For the last time, I don’t want to talk about it!” Gideon retorted.
Cabo began rummaging around his bag. Eventually, the halfling rogue brought forth the desiccated imp body and fixed it to his hand as a macabre puppet. Cabo said in a high squeaky voice, “Maybe, you won’t talk to Cabo, but Spot is here now. Spot can help you with your female problem. Spot has a way with the ladies.”
Brodek gave a disgusted snort at the dead imp/puppet. Helja wrinkled her nose and Erik watched Cabo with a bemused smirk. Osbourne was deep in concentration on some arcane concern and ignored the whole thing.
Gideon, however, was not amused. The halfling monk had a look somewhere between burning anger and complete bewilderment.
“Spot loves you and wants to make you all better. You can tell Spot the problem,” Cabo squeaked in a high voice.
Gideon stood up and gathered his sparse belongings. “I have to go.”
“What?” Brodek asked startled by the monk’s abrupt action.
“I have to take care of some things. I will see you in a few days,” Gideon was striding purposefully out of the chamber. Gideon walked quickly away even as Helja was calling for him to come back.
“Spot did not mean to scare him away,” Cabo said in a pitiful high voice.
“Peck! Put that thing away before my hammer smashes off your hand and the imp and burns both in the fire!” Brodek barked.
Cabo shrugged and put the imp back in his traveling bag. “I don’t know what’s more pitiful - a monk in love or your personal equipment issues.”
Osbourne snapped out of his deep arcane trance-like state, “What happened? Where’s Gideon?”
“Spot scared him away,” Cabo replied.
“I think it is a little more complicated that that,” Helja interjected. “He went back to deal with some personal issues.”
“So we’re killing monsters and taking loot and the monk left to have a good cry and settle up some woman issues,” Brodek declared. “Where are his priorities?”
“Love is like fire: It brings warmth and yet it burns,” Erik pronounced.
“And on that note, let’s go kill something,” Brodek stated.
*****
“What is that awful smell?” Helja exclaimed.
“That’s Brodek - I thought you knew him, let me introduce you,” Cabo said.
“Shut it Peck,” Brodek replied. “The chamber is piled high with rotting refuse.”
A light was brought up so the rest of the group could see what Brodek was talking about. The dark cavern was indeed piled high with rotting garbage.
“The odor of gold is seldom sweet,” Erik pronounced.
“True enough priest,” Brodek replied and commenced wading into the piles. Cabo crept in next to the dwarf.
“Wait! There is something moving…” Osbourne yelled. His shout was cut short by the emergence of a pair of ghastly tentacles from the refuse.
A hooked and suckered tentacle lashed out and dragged Cabo towards the creatures yawning maw. Cabo jerked away, but not until the creature bit into his arm flesh. Helja rushed to the attack as the priest Erik prayed for a blessing. The creature now distracted by the charging female dwarf soon felt the painful bite of Cabo’s magical dagger. Brodek let his hammer fly at the beast, which smacked it with an audible thud. Osbourne poured magical bolts into the creature. The Otyugh soon collapsed, dead.
“Medic!” Cabo wailed. “I mean, Erik!”
Erik the priest made his way over to the halfling rogue and inspected his weeping arm wound. “Hmmm,” Eric droned as he inspected the wound. “Already infected, likely disease in the blood as well.”
“Praise the deity! save me,” Cabo whined.
“I do not have the supplication available now. It will have to wait for the new sun,” Erik replied.
“What? After all the single-hearted devotion I have shown your god, and this is the thanks I get,” Cabo said.
“My god?”
“Our god, I mean our god,” Cabo quickly corrected himself.
“In either case, the supplication of our god must wait until morning. You will survive until then,” Erik replied.
“Suck it up Peck. Let’s move on,” Brodek declared.
*****
“What are these ratlings?” Brodek cried out.
“They are desert jackalwares. They should not be here!” Erik exclaimed.
“Let’s send them to their final home then!” Brodek cried charging across the cavern.
“Beware of their gaze!” Erik called out.
Brodek caught sight of one of the creature’s gaze and in a moment he was snoring face down on the floor.
The rest of the group was more cautious in their approach and quickly halved the number of the enemy. Then from a side corridor emerged a creature with the upper half of a beautiful woman and the lower half of a beast. She unleashed her rage on Helja like a lioness who has returned from the hunt to find her cubs dead.
A trio of the jackalwares merged on Cabo and sorely pressed him to his limit. “Wake up Brodek!” he yelled at the massive dwarf’s slumbering form. Helja stepped in and gutted two of the jackalwares. and Osbourne poured magical bursts into the lamia. Finally, the room was cleared of enemies and Erik shook a groggy Brodek awake.
“A lovesick monk, a priest who won’t cure, and a dwarf who sleeps through fights - what kind of special hell am I in?” Cabo complained loudly.
“The worst hell is one of your own making,” Erik pronounced.
Cabo could only chuckle in response.
Helja called out from the sidehall, “I think this may give you some relief, come see.”
The group sifted through a sizable treasure made up mostly of coins.
*****
As the group prepared to take a short rest a presence appeared at the doorway.
“Look not this way,” a female voice called out from the shadows. “It is not my intention to ossify you, but to treat shortly.”
“Why should we speak with you foul gorgon?” Brodek called out.
The medusa replied, “There is no need for hostilities. My master is mightily impressed with your prowess and wishes to avoid a costly engagement.”
“I bet. What’s in it for us?” Helja asked.
“You are learning lass,” Cabo whispered and winked at the female dwarf.
“Treasures,” the medusa replied.
“Like what?” Osbourne asked. “Gold and silver hold no special appeal to us.”
“Magical arms and armor, magical implements of great power,” the medusa cooed.
“In exchange for what?” Osbourne asked.
“My master gets three days to leave these halls,” the medusa replied.
“What kind of magical treasures specifically?” Osbourne asked.
A spinning hammer went swishing over Osbourne’s head and made an audible thud as it struck the medusa.
>D.M. Note< Here endeth the parley.
Helja and Cabo jumped into action. The dwarveness braved the gorgon’s gaze and landed two terrible blows. Her efforts distracted the medusa enough to allow Cabo to deeply plant his dagger in the creature’s spine. In mere seconds the medusa lay twitching in a pool of her own blood.
“We could have at least heard what she had to say,” Osbourne complained.
“Look peck, it would have lied about the treasures. If it didn’t lie, we’re going to kill its master anyway. That treasure either does not exist or it does and we will get it anyway,” Brodek explained.
“I hate to admit, there is a certain logic to that,” Osbourne admitted.
“Right, let’s move out,” Brodek said.
*****
The group went through a small chamber and slayed a buzzing demon with little effort. The next chamber caused the group to pause. The octagonal chamber contained several chests, ornate candelabras, and implements of torture.
“There is a foul presence here,” Erik stated.
“It’s Brodek, you’ll get used to him,” Cabo said. “I’ll check it out.”
Cabo crept cautiously into the chamber.
An enormous snake-creature appeared behind Cabo and struck. Poison coursed through the halflings body and Cabo felt the life blood leaving his body. Cabo stumbled like a drunken sailor. The giant, snake-like creature prepared to strike the defenseless halfling again. The rest of the adventurers were galvanized into action. Brodek launched his hammer, Helja rushed in and struck with her pick, Osbourne unleashed magical missiles, and even Erik rushed to the attack.
The cumulative weight of the group’s attacks grievously injured the creature. A moment later it disappeared.
“It has gone invisible!” Erik shouted.
“No, it has cast a minor transportation spell. It cannot be far away,” Osbourne corrected.
A brief debate followed on what to do. Treasure was gathered and it was decided to take a long rest in the Lamia’s lair. Following the rest the adventurers began scouring through the halls. They opened hall near the snake-like creature’s lair and found four ancient mummies.
A great, wicked grin spread across Osbourne’s face. The wee mage called forth a massive fireball and the shrouds of the mummies burst into burning balls. Soon all four fell to their final rest.
The search continued for many hours, but the group could find no sign of the “master”.
“Let’s head back to Streamington my lords and lady,” Osbourne announced.
“Lords and lady?” Helja queried.
“Sure, we’re all landed nobility now,” Osbourne replied.
to be continued...