[IRON DM] Winter '04 Tournament (IRON DM ANNOUNCED!)

Congrats, Enkhidu - I thought your entry was great :)

A couple of comments about my entry:

Nemmerle's observation about me starting strong then running out of steam is about right. By the end of it, I was struggling to keep from passing out at the keyboard.

Specifically, though, in looking back at my entry, I think the comment about the NPC crew not being elven enough is spot on. If I were to revise it, I'd change their personalities drastically, then steal Enkhidu's description of a living ship (that made me think, "damn! I wish I'd thought of that").

The fire newts were a problem for me. I couldn't find them in any source I had, and some time spent googling didn't turn up anything that helped. Knowing what they are now, I would have definitely turned them into worshippers of the tarrasque and/or the fire god.

As for there being multiple tarrasque eggs, but the tarrasque itself being unique. Um... look, a three headed monkey!

Actually, I had in my head that, were the tarrasque eggs to hatch, the strongest would end up eating its siblings. But, they've never actually hatched, so no one would actually know that. Were I were to revise the adventure, though, I'd include some comment about that, in case the PCs failed to destroy the eggs in time.

I wanted to do more with the opposing party, setting up the scene for a battle, but by that time I was struggling to remain coherant, so I wrapped it up there. Nemmerle's comment that I slapped the end on is right.

The same is true with ideas of how to move or destroy the eggs. Now, I can say that, beyond simply beating it to bits with high powered magic, I figured that the PCs could attempt to move it up the slope and toss it into the volcano, or they could roll it down the slope and hope that tossing it into the depths would destroy it. Whether or not the waters there are violent enough to do so depends on how much of a RBDM you want to be.

I think that's about it. If anyone has any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them.
 

log in or register to remove this ad


Final Round - Second Match: Zenld vs. CarpeDavid


Ingredients
-----------------
Bride of the Cyclops
Lizard-Riders
Holy Halberd
Amphitheatre
Error in Judgment
Ice Volcano

This is IRON DM territory, people. Look sharp!

You have 24 hours from the time stamp of this post.

Remember you 'ingredient review' at the end of your entry.
Remember, NO EDITING after you've posted.
Remember, NO READING your opponent's entry if he posts before you do.
Remember to include the the Round/Match and Opponent Info at the top of your entry (see above).

Note: CarpeDavid is required to include the special tie-breaker ingredient (Celestial Wrestler), while Zenld may use it if he likes, or can wait for his second match against Enkhidu.
 



carpedavid said:
And away we go...

Good luck, Zenld (I know I'm going to need it).


Thanks CD. You too.
(Although I don't think luck is what's needed here. I was thinking more on the order of miracles.)

Well. Best get to it. Ciao.

zen
 

Aaaaaand, while I wait for round two to wrap up, I suppose I should do some commentary...

Ever have one of those times when you were working on something you weren't truly satisfied with but didn't have enough time to go back and work it from scratch? This entry was one of those times. I guess I came up with my adventure framework too quickly, and only after figuring out some of the major points went back to shoe-horn in some of the ingredients. Or maybe it was that I ended up doing the opposite of what I usually do (lower level, site based adventure) and made a foray into wide scale, big scope, high level adventure writing. Either way, I came away at the end of it with the feeling that I had written a brief synopsis of a mega-adventure rather than what I wanted, which was something short and sweet.

Anyway - how did I do?

nemm said:
...City on The Edge is thematically what I expected from these entries, something apocalyptic. Firstly, it was smart of Enkhidu to include a non-flat world option, because aside from Aquerra, I don’t know of any flat world campaign settings. However every time I read the notes for the non-flat world options I could not help but feel cheated, as if by not having a flat world (that is, if I put myself into the shoes of the average DM, and not just in my own shoes) I was missing some of the more awe-inspiring and dramatic elements the adventure had to offer. We’ll examine if that ‘feeling’ holds true as we come upon those ‘red sections’...

I hemmed and hawed about this for a while - mainly because I wanted to include a literal 'edge of the world' in the adventure. For a while I thought about doing it a "the Gods Must Be Crazy" style, and having it be something that just looked like the edge of the world, but eventually went with what I did. But I wasn't happy about it! And, it turns out, neither was the judge.

The Judge! said:
...The whole set up with the elven ship and the female adventuring company made me think about adventure writing economics, and how it would have been much more elegant to have combined the Sisterhood with the crew of the elven ship. It just seems cumbersome, not only to have so many NPCs to tote around across the world, but to have only the leader, Jarlena, be the one working to end the world. If the PCs are as high level as Enkhidu implies, would it not be better for the challenge of the adventure to have her whole group dedicated to the end of the world? Heck, make them all elves, make them crew the ship, and make them all want the world to end, if not because of some dead family members, then because of the despair of elven immortality, now that is an interesting motivation for a villain! And then bing bang boom! You’ve combined two ingredients nicely, except Enkhidu didn’t do that – so instead we have what we have. Which leaves the elven ship kind of as the odd ingredient out –as the only connection to the others is some briefly mentioned connection to the Sisterhood of the Moon, and while the elven ship is neat, what with growing and providing food (important for a long journey such as that the party must undertake), it still feels shoe-horned, and reminiscent of the grown elven spell-jamming ships of second edition...

Oh, sure, now you tell me!

/me wonders why he didn't think of that first.

And it looks like my little tribute to spelljammer was appreciated for what it was. Of that I'm glad.

yep said:
...Leaving that behind for now, I loved Enkhidu’s use of the firenewts as the remnants of formerly advanced civilization, however, his firenewts don’t really fit their description in the 1E Fiend Folio or 3E Monsters of Faerun, a savage and conquer-thirsty race that I do not see doing much negotiating/cooperating with the PCs or anyone else for that matter. And there is little or no explanation as to why there are there, what happened to the civilization or if this was the extent of their empire, or what remains of a great area of land and if so, how did they get there? Visually, I can see it all, but terms of what fire newts are, I am having a harder time. I could see them as the descendants of those exiled there from somewhere else, probably put there as since they are fire-related creatures they’d fear the sea, and thus unlikely to escape to try to conquer once again – but I am just throwing ideas out there to fill the gaps I see, and the more I read this entry the more gaps (i.e. flaws) I see...

I thought about trying to explain how the firenewts came to be island savages, but two things stopped me. 1) explaining how a Netheril level magical civilization came crashing down is something that took Ed Greenwood a handful of novels, several supplements, and a boxed set full of text (which would put me significantly over the 2500 word limit I had already surpassed), and 2) I had no friggin idea in the first place. OK. it was more 2 than 1, but you get the idea.

I blame Nemm for throwing together race of desert creatures and an elven ship in the same ingredient list. I guess I should expect "mutually exculsive" ingredients in a final round by now...

Sheesh! You didn't expect me to just fess up and say I dropped the ball there, do you?

you get the idea said:
...The biggest flaw I see is the tarrasque itself, and thus by association the ‘tarrasque eggs’ ingredient...

That's because I didn't do a good enough job at getting the idea across that the tarrasque was bound to the island and couldn't leave once it set foot there. One of those situations where a concept in my head never made it to the keyboard.


Anyway, once again, good luck to both zenld and carpedavid (though I hope you'll understand if I root just a bit more for CD!)
 



nemmerle said:

Final Round - Second Match: Zenld vs. CarpeDavid


Ingredients
-----------------
Bride of the Cyclops
Lizard-Riders
Holy Halberd
Amphitheatre
Error in Judgment
Ice Volcano

Mirror Bright

The town of Mirror sits at the edge of a large ice plain. Surprisingly temperate conditions surround the town, allowing it to grow its own food, and otherwise be fairly self-sufficient. The town gets its name from a rather imposing feature; the wall of the glacier extends straight up for over one thousand feet, landing at the north end of town and rising to meet the shoulders of a mountain, the only mountain in sight. The glacial wall is mirror bright and perfectly smooth and straight, as if cut by some giant extremely sharp blade. The top of the mountain is rounded, the mouth of the volcano.

Due to the weird climate, a strange situation has developed within Mirror. Though normal domesticated animals suffice for most work and travel, the town militia has found a different answer. A small nest of white dragon eggs was discovered several miles onto the glacier. Several eggs were taken and the resultant young were raised and trained as defenders of the town. Eventually, the militia was able to breed and train them as mounts. These mounts and the troops they carry have earned the town a good reputation, enough so that the King is served by a loyal cadre of “Lizard-Riders” and they are among his best and most feared troops. All the members of the cadre are born and raised in Mirror, as are their mounts; the town will not let the secret of their breeding program get out.

The secret to the breeding program is within the mountain. Shortly after the town was founded, they discovered small caves that led into the glacial wall. When followed, they led into the stone eventually ending in a large hollow space, open to the sky. The mountain was hollow, open to the sky. There they met a strange personage. A large man, standing head and shoulders above the tallest of the exploration party, stood in the center of the space, as if waiting for them.

His name was Magnus. He told them the following story. The mountain was actually a volcano, dedicated to Sibil the Ice Queen. A lesser goddess, Sibil had been somewhat overlooked by the larger pantheons and their followers so she had come here. Keeping to herself, she had maintained her privacy for millennia. Then a white dragon came and deposited her eggs in the bowl of the volcano. Sibil decided to let them be, as they were unaware of her presence. This error in judgment was one she would regret. For centuries, one of every generation of the offspring has returned to the volcano to lay her eggs.

Eventually, humankind discovered the glacier and the valleys that surrounded it. They discovered the natural tendency for gentler climates much warmer than would be expected around the volcano. So they settled in. Sibil, in her solitary place, did not notice them. But finally the dragons did. One newly hatched clutch tore down upon the unsuspecting village and slaughtered them. The release of all that destruction finally woke Sibil to her surroundings. She arose only to discover it was too late. Her grief exploded, sending waves of ice crashing out of the volcano, covering the entire area in a giant ice field. Only then did she notice she was not alone. One small child had survived, by climbing into one of the caves that ringed the base of the volcano. He was lost and alone and her heart went out to him. She realized her failure and sought to make it up. So she raised the child, and trained him, and finally granted him great power to help her watch over others. As a final test, he was sent into the bowl of the volcano to fight in single combat one of the white dragons who came here to nest. After she had laid her eggs, he strode out to face her, blazing in Celestial glory, carrying naught but his hands as a weapon and wrestled her to the death. When she lay defeated at his feet, Sibil appeared before him. Taking a mighty halberd from the dragon’s trove, she gave it to him, blessing it and declaring him, Magnus, Defender of Sibil. Among the powers she gave him, was the ability to control white dragons. She then commanded Magnus, “Hold this place always as sacred and keep it pure, and I will always be with thee. But should you pass without successor, and allow it to be defiled, I will destroy it and all around it once more.”

Sibil then returned to the world, seeking to make up for her lapse. But this area is still special to her and the volcano is dedicated to her. Part of the blessing she left on the place is that any white dragon born within the bowl of the volcano shall find its evil nature tempered and become a suitable companion to a trooper of the cadre.

Magnus grew old. But by that time, another village had grown at the edge of the glacial field created by Sibil’s ice volcano. And always, the best warriors of the village return from their time in the cadre of the King, and go to the bowl of the volcano, there to face challenges to determine which of them is worthy to be the next Magnus. Ever since, in honor of the title, the bowl has become known as the Amphitheatre of Magnus.

But now, the town faces dire straights. The King just finished a bloody war against giant invaders. In service to him, the cadre was doubled in size. However, this left few warriors in town. And the war left even fewer alive, for the cadre was decimated time and again as their foes realized how important they were to the King’s strategy. But the giant folk were finally defeated. As they ran, a band of frost giants came upon the valley, with its little town and ice pocket. They have camped out on the ice and have even found their way into the Amphitheatre. Unfortunately, Magnus had grown old, and with no one to replace him, he was no match for the leader of the giants. He has been killed, the Halberd, his staff of office, claimed. And the town is in mortal peril.

The PCs are on the road. They may be camped or at an inn. They are approached by a solitary traveler, disheveled and travel stained. A large man, with the look of much combat about him, for his arms and armor, while in good repair, show signs of heavy use. There is a small device sewn into his clothing; a white dragon. Characters knowledgeable about this area (DC15) may connect him with the famous Lizard-Rider Cadre of the King. When he stumbles upon the PCs he will have nothing but the clothes and arms on his back. He is penniless and hungry.
“I am Trevan, servant of the Cadre. My mount was destroyed during a recent war with giant folk and I was left for dead. As I lay dead to the world, a vision appeared before me. A beautiful woman, all in white spoke to me. ‘Come to me. I have need of you.’ Then she vanished. When I awoke, the field was empty for the King’s forces had moved on. I pondered looking for them, but something drove me to head for home with all possible speed. Please help me. I have not eaten in days, and must return to my village quickly. I cannot repay you now, but will when we reach my village.”

Should the characters help Trevan, he will answer any questions they have about his village and the war with the giants. He will be friendly and courteous at all times, but will always be hoping for more speed, and will wish to travel longer each day. It is a three day journey to the town of Mirror.

Along the way, the party may run into small bands of giants, scattered form the force the King’s army recently destroyed. They also may run into small companies of warriors chasing these renegades.

Second night: the party receives visitation from Sibil. She makes Trevan a paladin, and tells him he has 7 days to reclaim the Amphitheatre of Magnus. (ftr12/pal1)

Third night: the party reaches Mirror. The town is a shambles, having been raided by the giants. The few militia left have chased them off but are not fairing well against them on the sides of the volcano. And the Amphitheatre itself is the province of one called Cyclops. He is a large frost giant, who lost an eye somewhere in the past and has given up his real name. So far, he has defeated any attempt to retake the volcano or the Amphitheatre. And his personal guard is frightening. A trio of female frost giants, well armed and skilled, calling themselves the Brides of Cyclops. They are hell’s own fury released in battle. They have killed many members of the militia in defense of their leader.
Cyclops has also claimed the Holy Halberd of Sibil. While it pains him to do so, he holds it when he stands at the edge of the glacier and demands the village pay tribute to him as his followers shower rocks and blocks of ice down upon the town.

Trevan asks the characters to help him, as his own people are badly in need of respite.
If they agree, he will lead them into the caves that lead to the Amphitheatre. Meanwhile, the remaining militia will stage an assault upon the ice, drawing most of the giants out.

If the party is privy to any scouting, they will learn that Cyclops does not always keep the Halberd with him. It is possible though of course exceedingly dangerous to steal it from him so that when Trevan fights Cyclops, he will have a +2 Holy Halberd in his possession.

Will the assault work?
Will the PCs be able to overcome the trio of formidable women, the Brides of Cyclops?
Will Trevan prevail against Cyclops himself?
Will they recover the Holy Halberd in time for Trevan to become the next Magnus and prevent the town’s destruction?

Time will tell.

Ingredient review.
Bride of Cyclops – the bodyguards of the frost giant leader.
Lizard-riders – the town militia and an elite force within the King’s army using white dragons as mounts. This is also the force Trevan belongs to.
Holy Halberd – the symbol of the Magnus, Trevan must recover it from Cyclops and reclaim the…
Amphitheatre – of Magnus, the bowl of the volcano, the center of the temple to Sibil.
Error in Judgement – was Sibil’s in allowing the white dragons to stay thus allowing many innocents to be killed.
Ice volcano – the main backdrop to our story, home to a temple to Sibil, and the location of the Amphitheatre of Magnus, the final combat of the story.
 


Remove ads

Top