Its two sides of the same coin.
Seen plenty of lousy DMs use the excuse of the paladin's code to beat the player into playing his vision of right and wrong.
And...
Seen plenty of lousy players who want all the paladin benefits and and still want to get away with actually playing CN.
I think, the way you approach this debate is likely influenced (not determined) by which of the two you have run into the most.
My opinion...
Seen plenty of lousy DMs use the excuse of the paladin's code to beat the player into playing his vision of right and wrong.
And...
Seen plenty of lousy players who want all the paladin benefits and and still want to get away with actually playing CN.
I think, the way you approach this debate is likely influenced (not determined) by which of the two you have run into the most.
My opinion...