D&D 3.x ISO Feedback: Myconians (with 3.5e Stats!)

[_Michael_]

So, I finally got the myconians together, and I think they turned out pretty cool. Would love to hear what y'all think for a cool subterranean race. This is being created in Affinity Publisher 2 which is why the page numbers start at 1--I'm making each chapter its own file and will stitch them all together using AP's Book function. Artwork is AI (I'm too poor to afford illustrators, especially for the amount of art I'm including, so please, no hate--I can only do what I can do).

 

[Alzrius]

On a very quick skim, the "Hit Dice" in the Amyna's stat block should be in bold. Other than that, I'm not catching any obvious errors (which is meant to be a compliment, since I've seen a lot of stat blocks where mistakes jump out even on a casual overview).

 

[Brendan Byrd]

Interesting ideas.

Are you certain that pacifist is the best way to describe them?
Sporestalkers are described as very capable warriors, there are the bone blades, and the combat casting feat in the stats...
Aside from illusions and hallucinations, what do they do with / how do they get rid of intruders?
Who are the intruders?
Are there trading posts?
Does the spoken language have a name?
Glissandar is only mentioned in the caption of the first piece of art. Is this a city? (Who's city, and where?)

There is some repetitive text that could be consolidated, if you have time for another editorial pass.

 

[_Michael_]

Glissandar is a Trow (gnome) city in the Evergloom (actually, the Undergloom--the deepest locations before one hits the Chthonian Meridian). Sorry. Yes, they're pacifists, but will defend themselves and the Light Web to the death. Sporestalkers are only called in if other deterrents do not work. Some monsters they attack on sight, though, like goblins and kobolds--creatures that are destructive to the mycelial network that spans the planet. The use of suggestion and command would be common, and even light sedation from spore exposure like knock out gas. They'll then transport the unconscious victims far away from their enclaves, but leave them in a relatively safe area and watch from afar to ensure nothing can hurt them before the unconcious beings can wake up--they're not evil. Typical intruders are the usual suspects--slimes, oozes, wild beasts like sable cats and other nasties.

That's a good point about trading posts--they'd probably have some form of relationship with goodly races, but contact would probably be fairly controlled--caravans of known and trusted traders would be permitted to enter their cities. No name for their language, yet--any ideas?

And absolutely. I'm copying it from another rough draft into AP2, so that's why there may be some repetition. Feel free to point it out.

Really appreciate the feedback! Off to bolden "Hit Dice!" lola

 

[Brendan Byrd]

Glissandar is a Trow (gnome) city in the Evergloom (actually, the Undergloom--the deepest locations before one hits the Chthonian Meridian).

Then I would recommend putting the Trow art in the Trow section.
This is the opening page for your myconid chapter, so the art here should relate to the text on the page it occupies.

Sorry. Yes, they're pacifists

"Peaceful" will cause less confusion. IMHO.

, but will defend themselves and the Light Web to the death. Sporestalkers are only called in if other deterrents do not work. Some monsters they attack on sight, though, like goblins and kobolds--creatures that are destructive to the mycelial network that spans the planet. The use of suggestion and command would be common, and even light sedation from spore exposure like knock out gas. They'll then transport the unconscious victims far away from their enclaves, but leave them in a relatively safe area and watch from afar to ensure nothing can hurt them before the unconcious beings can wake up--they're not evil. Typical intruders are the usual suspects--slimes, oozes, wild beasts like sable cats and other nasties.

I trust you will add this to rhe revised version.
Your "typical intruders" sound like the local fauna. (Encounter table?)
Might want to check the immunities of slimes and oozes vs. offensive capabilities of the myconids.

That's a good point about trading posts--they'd probably have some form of relationship with goodly races, but contact would probably be fairly controlled--caravans of known and trusted traders would be permitted to enter their cities. No name for their language, yet--any ideas?

And absolutely. I'm copying it from another rough draft into AP2, so that's why there may be some repetition. Feel free to point it out.

Really appreciate the feedback! Off to bolden "Hit Dice!" lola

I'd copy and paste the repetitive sections here, but you have posted images...
When you revise this you should be able to spot them.
I recommend reducing the word count by 30-50%, I found myself skimming the text.
If this is a "monster" section, consider putting one myconid caste per page.
Also consider locating the art in the upper right quadrant of each page. Text wrapped around an image is not always a virtue.

I look forward to seeing the revised version.

 

[_Michael_]

Awesome feedback.

The Trow section is actually below the myconids (next in line) but I have a write up for them in an earlier chapter that's with the other gnomes. I might have to split that chapter off a bit better, and use it to highlight the surface races, not all the races together. Then swap their order with the myconids. I'm using AP2, so this won't be as hard. Just have to modify the masters, I think. Keep the subterranean races split between evil or neutral ones in one chapter, and good ones in the next.

Then comes the Chthonian Meridian and Orphalis. I'm sort of envisioning an Edgar Rice Burroughs-style Pellucidar world, with the horizons curving upwards into the distance and reptilian overlords in an iron-age setting. I'm toying with the idea of making the Chthonian Meridian a natural anti-magic shell that turns the tables on high-powered mages who think they're going to be slick. Only psionics are likely to work, and since the Slivaask are the 8 foot tall draconian-like footmen of the larger overlords, things aren't exactly balanced in the favor of humanoids. lol However, it would make sense for the inner world to be a cache world for archmages forgotten about in the Age of Dreams, so there would like be some form of high-powered artifacts present.

The other problem is leaving gaps of white space if I do one monster per page, but that's where creative edits could come in, I guess, with larger quote blocks and excerpts from field journals, and the like. I do apoloize about the repetitive sections. I'm just trying to get everything thrown in without losing anything between transfering into an AP doc. I want this super information-dense with lots of hooks.

Off to make revisions!