It's not "Just a game"

[Ace]

There are many different ways to play RPG's

Heck there are whole web boards devoted to the discussion of the different ways to play RPGs.

The only two things I think we need to keep in mind are

#1 This is a small hobby. In many areas there aren't enough gamers to give the the luxury of turning away someone who isn't disruptive but also isn't playing the same style of game you are. That means you may have to put up with gamers who are a little incompatible with your game.
Just be tolerant and try to twist errr excuse me Educate them in what kind of game is most satisfying to the bulk of the group

#2 and most important.Is everyone having a good time ? It is the only Rule Zero that really matters.
If you all are enjoying the game than you are doing it right

 

[mmadsen]

So I was thinking about why it's so hard to reach that sort of space, why it happens so rarely, and I realized that unless EVERYONE is giving what everyone needs, NOBODY can get to that place.

And that's an argument for smaller gaming groups. Only keep the people who fit your group style -- or play a second, different game to fit that other style.

 

[Ace]

I think the take-home message is that a good gaming group is all on the same page. If anyone's saying "Geez, it's just a game," not everyone's on the same page.

YMMV I guess. I find D&D much more fun when it isn't taken seriously at all.

Maybe it is just our group but we don't find the D&D system very good for immersive roleplaying.
Because of the structure of the rules and the "power up" design of the game it leads to a style of play that is rather like a video game.

Thats isn't a bad thing really. We get together every couple of weeks, hack and slash our way to fortune and glory.
If the OOC chatter goes on-- So what? Its only a game.

Let me add though that I don't mean this as system snobbery. D&D can lead to very immersive gaming, it is more an issue of the expectations of the players. The players expect D&D to be well Hack and Slash.

I have changed the expectations of the players and tweaked my running style with mixed results. Running it like I would GURPS was a flop, the system didn't support a gritty style (this was just after 3e came out) but running it as a humor game worked great.

If your group can get into the "serious mindset" great but I know my group on the whole can't.
After a while serious attempts at RP are forced out by OOC media references, bad roleplaying and general silliness you are left with a choice. Go with the flow and have some fun or go do something else.

Reliable new players are scarce even for 3e around here so I decided since on the whole it is more fun to hang out with gaming buddies than not

Since most of the limited play base wants to play 3e we put up with it and just play the game.

My revenge. I am playing a pure cheese Sorcerer of the flying, invisible, fireball, magic missle, protection from arrows, soon to be stoneskin variety in a low magic world. I have always wanted to do that anyway and now I have an excuse.

Next few levels-- Wand of fireballs Cloak of major protection and boot of flying heheheh.

AH64 Sorcerer attack copter here we come

 

[mmadsen]

I find D&D much more fun when it isn't taken seriously at all.

In which case you'll have the most fun with a group all on that page -- so you don't find yourself telling the immersive guy, "Geez, it's just a game!"

 

[Ace]

In which case you'll have the most fun with a group all on that page -- so you don't find yourself telling the immersive guy, "Geez, it's just a game!"

Absolutely. JMHO but player/player style disconnect is probably the biggest problem in RPGS today. That and lack of players in general.

 

[spunky_mutters]

I think that if you could graph a playing session on a scale of silly-serious over time, you'd get a series of waves. Where the mean is would depend on the group, but I think every group needs to dip towards silliness at different times in the session, if only for release of the tension.

I've found that being able to read these waves helps me to know how to introduce elements into the game. If the players are all laughing over a joke, but I need them to be serious, I'll usually just shut up and let it peter out. Then, when I think it's run it's course, I will throw out some information about what's going on in-game that only those sitting next to me can hear (usually because the others are still loudly discussing some TV show or something). This usually prompts the ones who heard me to snap the others back to attention. In this way I can avoid being the ringmaster. Even within a single combat you can get plenty of waves where things go up and down, but you need to keep control and push things ahead. I find there's always a couple of players who will wander off if you don't keep things moving.

 

[barsoomcore]

I've found that being able to read these waves helps me to know how to introduce elements into the game.

Excellent point, spunky.

I don't really have anything to add. I just wanted to say, "spunky." Heh.

But see how right I am? One could argue that looking for and seeing those waves and then working with them rather than against them is itself a form of generosity.

Which would make me look really smart.