Joy. It's the Buddy's Girlfriend.

[Wisdom Penalty]

Anyone that doesn't want to be there to play the game shouldn't be there at all, no matter their relation to the rest of the group. There are better options for socializing with people that aren't interesting in TRPGs.

Yep.

In fact, if I were the DM - and I know you already said this isn't an option - I'd tell my buddy to leave the GF at home. One night away ain't gonna kill the relationship, but one wrong person can kill a campaign.

W.P.

 

[I'm A Banana]

I suppose I should be optimistic that she's even slightly interested in giving things another shot, but when I approached her for character ideas, I got nothing from her. I tried approaching it from the "What are some of your favorate movie/book characters?" and got nothing, I tried approaching it from the "What do you like or not like about these archtypes?" and got a little feedback, but nothing major. In the end, I think she was overwhelmed by the unlimited options and she suggested that I make something for her. I ended things with suggesting that we could take it up later and maybe we can work it out with multiple choice.

Yeah, paralyzing options is a common thing that intimidates folks. Don't make it open-ended: give her two or three good choices and let her choose between them. You might want to follow the same strategy if she hangs during the game: "Well, for instance, you could X, Y, or Z!"

Character creation is always a wall of options. Once she learns about the archetypes a bit better, she'll probably be aces at it, but create a few good characters for her to start out. Give her already completed character sheets. But make sure that she DOES get to choose someone. Describe them with a simple sentence each like:

"Daliah the Fighter is a noble knight in the service of her king, but she can't help but feel weird when she's wearing all this expensive equipment, and the peasants can barely feed themselves."

"Kuniq the Rogue was raised on the mean streets, and she looks double as mean to any who talk to her. But there's a fear laying beneath the hard edge where she's truly vulnerable."

"Terra is a Paladin of the Earth Goddess who has hated undead ever since her own grandfather attacked her family as a zombie. She travels the earth putting the dead back to rest, and helping out others when she can."

What I'd like to do is provide her with a series of simple choices that will end up with a character that she feels she is responsible for even if they are rather weighted choices.

Good idears!

You might want to use the strategy of "leading questions," if you think she can deal with it. This is where you ask very pointed questions that assume some part of the character already, like:

"Why does your character have a grudge against their sister?"

"Where did your character get her weapon?"

"When your master disappeared on that dark night, how did your character feel?"

"How did your character get so strong?"

"Why does your character secretly love this NPC?"

"What is on your character's necklace?"

Stuff like that, which gives the character a quality, and asks the player to explain the significance of it.

I've seen questions like "Where did you get those shoes?" spiral into grand ideas for the game.

3.5 left her a bit in the cold as she was overwhelmed by the rules and tended to rely on others who knew the system. I've been pushing the fact that 4e is going to be new for everyone and she'll probably know the rules as well as anyone. This got a bit of response and I think will pay off when it comes to investing some time in learning things, but the character aspect is still a tough one.

ANY game system can come off as intimidating, and I suspect she's probably a bit self-concious not knowing the rules as well as your established group.

 

[Pale]

All of the women in my former WoW guild were mostly high damage or healing characters. The overwhelming majority of them were high damage, though.

So, from that small sampling I'd gear her towards being an in-your-face killer o' bad guys.

Seriously... women are bloodthirsty.

 

[PeelSeel2]

I have 3-6 women in my group at any given time (also same number for males, not all of them are bf/gf). All where new to D&D. They are playing bards, barbarians, wizards. Just like us men, I think each has a personal preference. If she has no preference, put her into a fighter. No preference = make it easy to play. If she shows interest, she can decide what she wants to play. Experienced players will have to roll her character up (mostly).

Just my two pence worth.

 

[Surgoshan]

But is the fighter still easier to play than other classes? A first level fighter's no longer just the hack'n'slash machine.

 

[ironvyper]

I think this can actually be a great opportunity. My group right now is includes my fiance and I and another married couple. Even though neither girl was experianced with RPG's or super enthusiastic about it both got into the swing before too long and are now great players, so it can definately be done.

I can think of a couple of things to consider though.
1. Does she actually know anyone in the group but the BF?
If not then most likely your gonna get some silence, girls are usually reluctant to just jump out and be the center of attention in a group of strange guys. So be patient and most importantly look for the subtle clues. What she is doing with her eyes and hands and when, that will give you a good clue to what her "fun" buttons are.

2. First few sessions have a lot of variety, some fighting some talking, some good guys and some bad guys. And make sure all the players get a chance to make some out of combat decisions about being good or bad, things like a good or neutral seeming NPC dropping a small bag of gold when no one but the new player is looking. Ask if they take it or not, what do they do? That sort of thing lets them explore the game more and start to define thier character to themselves.

When it comes to character creation i wouldnt bog her down with too much now, especially since we have no idea what the final versions of most of this stuff will be.

I would just say something like "well theres sneaky characters who you can build as either a burglar type, a cop/detective type or a sneaky wilderness hunter type, then theres the soldier class whose job is to stand in front of the bad guys and be the tough butt kicker, the wizard whose job it is to use spells hurt or control people, they can do anything from making people do whatever the wizard tells them to do to throwing balls fo fire or lightning at enemies, and theres the holy fighter, who can fight pretty well and keep the party safe from evil spirits or undead monsters and can heal people.

That should let her decide pretty easily what basic archetype to be, then just boil the races down to their simplest stereotype and you shouldnt have a big problem with them.

Your biggest problem might actually be the BF though. I have noticed the guys tend to step all over a newby girlfreinds character and treat her basically as a henchman who will do whatever she's told without him having to roll dice. She might also do a lot of
{ look over at boyfreind with a boggled expression} "honey what should i do"? or "whats the right thing to do now"?

You have to try to stifle that and redirect towards her making her own decisions, especialy in roleplaying. Even when it comes to combat though your best off redirecting by answering yourself before he does, even if its as simple as " well you can move up and hit that guy, you can heal bob, or you could use your holy power to try to make those zombies run away. So look at where everyone is and think about what would be the most important thing to your character right now. " Anything that makes her the center of attention and makes her make a decision to get used to being an actual player and not a dice rolling machine.

 

[AntiPaladin]

Many of the females I have attempted to introduce to D&D have found the character creation the most obtuse part of the entire game. The idea of infinite complexity can scare people outright, so I recommend creating a few character sheets beforehand that you can simply hand to her and say, "perhaps try one of these?"

Lots of good advice in this thread, keep in mind that you have to start slow and that too many options can be just as much as a turn off as too few. Make it quick, simple, and keep it moving. Don't put her on the spot RP-wise if she is not that experienced with playing in character.

 

[pawsplay]

So...what type of character should I push her into?

Something violent and female that reminds her of characters she is familiar with. Maybe she knows Xena, Shee-Ra, or something.

 

[Aus_Snow]

I've found roleplaying to be much better without totally unenthused players (or DMs) involved. Hey, I've been one of those, on occasion. And yes, things got better when I removed myself from the situation. For me, anyway. Presumably for those remaining, too.

There are so many fun activities available in the modern (first) world. Why drag yourself through those that hold so little appeal?

That said, I hope it works out. I'm aware that sometimes people change their minds, and this might become one of those situations.

And, if she plays, I'd second the suggestion of seeing if there are any pop culture or literature characters she'd like to play a derivative of.

 

[Baron Opal]

When a gamer's wife showed interest in joining the table, I asked her what she would be most interested in playing:

Joan of Arc? (Paladin)
Circe? (Warlock)
Eowyn? (Fighter)
-----? (Someone else that tied into cleric)

Granted, she knew who these people were, but they gave her a good grasp for her first character. Giving her some kind of tie to books or movies give her some familiarity towards what she might enjoy.

(She picked Eowyn, by the way.)