D&D General Just For Fun: D&D Themed Limericks and Other Silly Verse

[Reynard]

There once was a class called "thief"
Who's skills were weak beyond belief
Couldn't open a lock or sneak down a hall
But could climb damn near any wall
And caused the party naught but grief

 

[Baldurs_Underdark]

There once lived a dragon far away in a wood
Who had no firebreath as most dragons should
But here is the thing
He could fart like a king
And was proud that those really burned quite good

 

[Baldurs_Underdark]

I met this gnome at Waterdeep’s wharf
Who said he could drink like a dwarf
We gave it a test
You can imagine the rest
Of course he woke up in his own barf

 

[Baldurs_Underdark]

There once lived a god in a pocket dimension
Who struggled with a lack of attention
He declared “bow to me”
But there was no-one to see
Because he was the God of Detention

I'll stop now.

 

[Baldurs_Underdark]

A gargoyle suffered from high tension
He said “I am done with this rocky convention”
He had nothing to lose
So he married an ooze
And is now happy as gooey suspension

I'll really really stop now.

 

[Alzrius]

PCs
And NPCs
Both play in the same game
So being stuck on a brand name
Is lame

I prefer cinquains

 

[Shiroiken]

Here's a bunch from old issues of The Dragon I've saved. Some are clearly better than others, and a couple didn't age particularly well.

Upon drinking a Philter of Love,
An Elf suffered effects thereof.
As his head started reeling,
He looked to the ceiling.
Now he’s wedded a Lurker Above!

She though it true love she’d found,
When the handsome young centaur came ‘round.
But one roll in the hay,
And he trotted away;
He t’was only horsing around!

Mina found her new lover a blast.
Their romance kindled so fast.
But when she took him to bed,
She found him undead.
Both he and she were a-ghast!

A dour old dwarf named Fritz,
T’was burned right where he sits.
That happens, they say,
When you get in the way
Of a Dragon just as he spits!

A Wily old Wizard named Pops
Polymorphed men ‘mong the treetops
When accosted by thieves
With no tricks up his sleeves,
He would smile, and call for the copse!

A boastful young knave was a-braggin,
‘Bout the time that he bested a dragon,
And to get more attention
He neglected to mention
That the dragon was carved on a flagon.

A jester was seeking a rhyme
To placate his Lord for a time.
He joke of undead
And kept wearing his head.
A lich in line save mime.

A wyrm found a knight its hoard stealing,
Not knowing his fate he was sealing
Wyrm grimaced and said,
“It’s not killing I dread,
But the time that it takes for the Peeling.”

A nymph, one of peace’s proponents,
Never fights, but seduces opponents.
Their violence she’s quell
As if using a spell.
You should see her material components.

 

[overgeeked]

There once was a class called "thief"
Who's skills were weak beyond belief
Couldn't open a lock or sneak down a hall
But could climb damn near any wall
And caused the party naught but grief

The DCC thief kicks so much ass
The D&D thief died in the grass
Tried to sneak and failin’
Tried to climb and fallin’
Go play DCC it’s such a blast.

 

[MNblockhead]

Here's a bunch from old issues of The Dragon I've saved. Some are clearly better than others, and a couple didn't age particularly well.

Upon drinking a Philter of Love,
An Elf suffered effects thereof.
As his head started reeling,
He looked to the ceiling.
Now he’s wedded a Lurker Above!

She though it true love she’d found,
When the handsome young centaur came ‘round.
But one roll in the hay,
And he trotted away;
He t’was only horsing around!

...

Wow, I actually remember those two! Do you know what year the Dragon Magazine in which you found these came out?

 

[overgeeked]

DCC is fast, brutal, and sweet.
The warriors don't even need feats.
Wizards gain corruption.
Halflings still have gumption.
These new PCs are nothing but meat.