I know it might seem inconceivable to you, but asking someone to stop race-baiting can be done without wanting to "junior-mod". It's called "basic social skills" to be able to talk to someone without having to run to Mommy to tell her to deal with everything we don't like.
And no; the AP style guide and Websters are both wrong. They are at best two, three or four places removed from the actual discussion,, but I remember first-hand watching Edward Said come up with the idea that "Orientalism" was offensive out of thin air. It is nothing more than cultural vandalism and demagoguery, and nobody ever really took that seriously; it was a fringe idea far outside the mainstream of cultural anthropology and cultural studies. And for that matter, it didn't have anything to do with the subject matter of Oriental Adventures: Edward Said was a Palestinian, and he used the word "oriental" to refer to the Middle East, not the Far East.
As historian Dr. Nikki Keddie (UCLA) said: "I think that there has been a tendency in the Middle East [studies] field to adopt the word "Orientalism" as a generalized swear-word, essentially referring to people who take the "wrong" position on the Arab–Israeli dispute, or to people who are judged "too conservative". It has nothing to do with whether they are good or not good in their disciplines. So, "Orientalism", for many people, is a word that substitutes for thought, and enables people to dismiss certain scholars and their works. I think that is too bad. It may not have been what Edward Saïd meant, at all, but the term has become a kind of slogan."
She's being too nice and giving Said benefit of the doubt that he clearly has not earned, and in fact has eroded through his book Orientalism. He absolutely did mean that, and it's very clear that that's what he meant. The entire discussion about "is Oriental racist" is based on race-baiting and false pretenses. It was dishonest rhetoric from the get-go.