During Character Creation:
Me: "What, no halflings? No dwarves? No cleric? That might make things tough, guys..."
Warforged Barb: "Well, halflings are tribal, we're starting in Sharn, it's a metropolis, *something* tells me our first few levels won't be taming dinosaurs."
Warforged Fighter: "I looked at dwarf, but when I'm going for a tank...compared to Warforged, whadda they get, no Wis penalty? No stability bonus? (sarcasm) OH NOES!!! NO BULLSRUSHES FO MEEE! (/sarcasm). It's okay, because killin' things works good. Where's a feat for dwarves that gives 'em 50% dagger immunity? DR, baby! I'm totally immune to peasants."
Human Paladin: "Well, I can lay on hands, that'll help a little, in the abscence of a cleric."
Elf Necromancer: "Oh! I've got some spells that let me steal hp! [DM's Note: We're using some of my homebrew stuff, there's a 1st level ranged touch spell that transfers 1d2 hp/caster level from enemy to spellcaster] I don't have that many, so with Lay on Hands I should be fine...just make sure to keep things away from me, tanks. And you better!"
Warforged Barb: "Remember, Aeshe, Killingyouguy and me are immune to a lot of your magic, so if you've got area-affect ownage, lay it down."
Gnome Artificer: "And I can heal you two pretty easy...with SCIENCE!"
Warforged Barb: "Ah, but can you Blind us with it? Because that would be my cue!"
Gnome Artificer: "No, but if I was a cleric, I'd be able to...I wanted to be one, but with our tanks being robots, I figured you guys needed me like this."
Elf Necromancer: "I could pull a bit of healing duty, too..."
Gnome Artificer: "Not with four hp, you can't. Go hide behind your wall of skeletons, girlie, we'll tackle these guys."
Me: "If you wanna be a cleric, be a cleric, it's my job to adapt the adventure, not yours to play a class you don't like."
Gnome Artificer: "No, I like it, I wanna try it out...I just figure a cleric of artifice would almost be cooler. But I've got that if Tonks dies."
Me: "You guys don't have a rogue/bard/diplomat thing, do ya?"
Gnome Artificer: "I've got astonishingly high charisma for a woman who spends all her time indoors playing with wands. I need it for UMD."
Warforged Fighter: "Hey, do you guys remember that joke where you replace ever occurance of "wand" in a harry potter book with "wang."...."
*laughter ensues*
Gnome Artificer: "Yes, my female gnome has amazing charisma because she's always playing with "wands", you perverts..."
Warforged Barbarian: "Well, if she's got high Charisma, she's probably a huuuuuge wandslut."
Gnome Artificer: "And you're a walking vibartor. Let's play."
*******
[DM's Note on Adventure Design: My quests involve a load of treasure and a load of encounters because my advancement for parties is very fast...usually once every adventure...so if you're wondering why they're at 900-2,700 gp apeice so quickly, and why I've got CR 3 critters vs. level 1 party, it's because of that -- they're risky, but they're profitable! Plus, I usually don't map things out...when there's a maze, I call for Survival checks to avoid getting lost, and depending upon the difficulty, up the DC. I may map out a combat environment, but otherwise, largely, no...]
Later, on the adventure:
...
Me: "Okay, the guard takes one look at you striding down the staircase, and raises his lips to his horn, blown to alert the tower..."
Atat: "What are you doing, Dave? I don't think that's a good idea, Dave."
*minor scuffle ensues*
Me: "The guard looks terrified from his place on the ground, you can see the whites of his eyes as he looks up, saying "With what authority?! By whose command?! Who are you?""
Killingyouguy: ""I am Robocop." Then I put my sword through his face. "Justice has been served.""
Jonas: "Would you like fries with that?"
...
Tonks: "I take out my wang...er...wand...and repair you with it"
Atat: "You touch me with your wang and repair us with science?"
Tonks: "*sigh* yes."
Atat: "Wierd sciecne..."
Tonks: "You know, if you don't stop your '80's-fu, I'm going to start calling you Tron."
Atat: "Trons....formers! I'm red alert!"
Killingyouguy: "Shut up, Bumblebee."
Atat: "awwww...."
Tonks: "This is going to happen every time I repair you hosers, isn't it..."
...
Me: "All right, one of the dwarves lifts his workman's hammer high and charges at Atat."
Atat (already wounded): "Eep!"
Killingyouguy: "He's passing through the area I threaten with my glaive, I get a potshot."
*rolls dice, hits, kills the dwarf*
Me: "As the dwarf runs, Killingyouguy thrusts out his..its...polearm, and clotheslines the dwarf at neck hieght. The dwarf falls down, and doesn't move again."
Atat: ""Domo argigato, Mr. Roboto.""
Tonks: ""Okay, that's it, zip your lips, or whatever, Tron.""
Atat: ""Zip my lips....with science?!""
Tonks: *throws dice*
...
*they had reached the BBEG for the adventure, a slavemaster who was recruiting dwarves to make Warforged parts deep in the bowels of Sharn*
Jonas: ""I've faught off your guards, I've killed some of your workers, I even gave the Meenlocks you hired to kidnap the poor dwarves a stern beatdown...now, I face you, with my staunch companions, Nulla, and I ask, in all seriousness: Why dwarves?""
Me (as Nulla): ""I'm sorry, what?""
Jonas: ""I mean, yeah, they make it *pretty*, but so what? I've got two warforged here that never need to eat, never need to sleep, and never get fatigued...it wouldn't even be *cruel* to make them work for you...I'm sure they'd be happy, insofar as they can comprehend human emotion!""
Me (as Nulla): ""Uhm...are....wait, are you suggesting I get rid of my workforce of dwarves and recruit Warforged instead?""
Jonas: ""Look, in a city this size, there's bound to be some Warforged who've just broken...let your dwarves go, sign me on as co-crafter so I can watch over you and make sure you're being upright and moral, and my artificer friend and I will scour the streets, repair constructs, and deliver them right to you, for a reasonable cut of the profits...y'know, as penance, for enslaving the dwarves.""
Me (as Nulla): ""You...you don't want to kill me for my evil acts?""
Jonas: ""Oh, my dear, the Church preaches not vengeance! Simply to eradicate evil! If you let the dwarves free, you won't be doing evil, you'll be doing good! And that'll start you on the path to reform! You don't even have to give up your industry, just change the creatures working for you!""
Me: "Uhm, Jonas, this is a pretty extreme deviation...make a Diplomacy check..."
Tonks: "I'll aid another for him. I like the idea."
*rolls some dice, succeeds in convincing Nulla to convert*
Me (as Nulla): ""Well...I suppose all that you say makes sense...and you will help me and aid me and support me in this industry?""
Jonas: ""For the proper penance, my poor, misguided soul, of course! In fact, I'll start you off with these two! Isn't that right, Killingyouguy...Tron....""
Killingyouguy: ""Well, as long as I'm repaired, I guess I'm not doing anything else with my time...just sitting there...thinking robot thoughts...hey, I even have the Craft skill.""
Atat/Tron: ""I can go into rage and forge twice as hard! This probably means we also get a discount on the items we make for 'em.""
Jonas: ""Bingo. So whaddaya say, Nulla? Release the dwarves, pay the penance and all will be forgiven!""
Me (as Nulla): ""You sure that it's okay to enslave Warforged?""
Jonas: ""Of course! They're merely machines! Constructs! They are made, not born...we may as well use them while they're around, for the betterment of the sentient peoples! They are tools! We must use them! And since they don't get tired or suffer from deprivation, it's not only not painful to them, it also means you can have 24 hours of straight production a day!""
Me (as Nulla): ""Well, I'll be rich! And you won't kill me! Can't object to that!""
>>>END ADVENTURE<<<