You might think that going back to school as an adult is going to be psychologically easy, but that could be a pitfall. As a family man, you're going to have all kinds of day-to-day pressures that a single person might not. Even if your family is super-supportive, your studies are going to take away from "Jack-time."
Yeah, I've been through that already with some of my other work. Detective, psychological, writing. Overwork can put a tremendous strain on your marriage and your family life. (And give ya heart troubles and an early grave.) But over time I've learned a few tricks, and I'm pretty tight with how I spend my time. I try not to squander much of it. And I'm not gonna say I have anything like a perfect marriage, and we've certainly had our share of problems. But over time I've learned a few tricks there too, including how to budget time to maintain that, and even to make it thrive. So yes, we've had strains, I've learned from them and think because of it our marriage is much the better for it. Same with the kids. So I'm pretty well sure I've got that one licked. It's a matter of time management for the most part.
I've even set aside time once a month or so for real solitude (as a matter of fact the wife and kids are away this weekend, so much of this day will be spent in solitude, silence, playing with the dogs, walking in the woods, and talking with God - plus I'll write some), and I have time set aside every day for prayer, and every week for meditation, contemplation, and reflection. Now being a priest will be time consuming and I'm not cocky or anything about that. Stuff will naturally arise you don't expect, it always does. But over time I've learned how to manage responsibilities pretty well or even turn down responsibilities if necessary til things cool down. I do have a tendency towards overwork though, that's why I make out schedules to prevent myself from trying to do everything without taking the time to enjoy my wife and kids, relax, recreate, exercise, and spend time with God. Long as I regulate my time well I think I'll be okay on that score.
Perhaps you can do a little research and use that as a potential model.
Well, I'm not a big fan of attempted forced conversion. If that's what you're hinting at. (In the long run things like that are counterproductive to the spiritual life and development of the individual convert I think - not to mention the missionary himself or herself, and lead to thinking that God wishes to suppress human individuality, rather than transform and improve it. And correspondingly buying conversion is a form of trickery to me, which also in the end lessens transformation rather than edifies it.) I think the first duty(s) of a missionary is patience, respect, and real love for the individual, and I think one should learn the local customs, language, myths, traditions, etc to the degree possible. I don't believe so much in replacement missionary work as I do in enhancement missionary work. If you understand me.
Now, obviously if murder (or some other type of malignant conduct) is a big part of the local customs or way of doing things, I'd oppose that. Real harm, sin, etc I'd naturally oppose. I'd intervene if possible to stop it. I'm a big believer in justice and not oppressing the weak and defenseless. However, differences in culture, behavior, traditions, language, literature, psychological outlook and so forth, that wouldn't bother me any, as a matter of fact the scientist and psychologist in me would be more likely to be interested in these things and want to study them. See what benefit they might engender.
My concern towards others as a missionary would be Christ and Christ-like behavior, everything else would be secondary and mundane. In other words if people are not engaged in harm then let them be themselves and work in the ways most natural to themselves and their background. Or, my job is to help people improve themselves through God, not suppress themselves because of God. There's always a balance of course but generally speaking I try to put myself in the other guy's shoes and think of it from their point of view and then work out from there. Patience and respect takes longer, but it also is a better way to treat folks if you want their patience and respect. I think being a missionary means being a friend to those you are serving, in the best way you can. Doesn't mean you always agree with them, but you should be their friend, colleague, and brother.
Perhaps being Catholic you're familiar with Saint Francis Xavier (one of my favorite Saints, along with Patrick who is also a model missionary to me)? Many of the early Jesuits I have studied extensively and admired (Loyola, Xavier, Ricci) greatly both for their spiritual and intellectual accomplishments, but also for the way they went about their missionary work. Xavier and Ricci have influenced me greatly and would be my models when it comes to how function as a missionary, operationally speaking.
By the way, speaking of Ricci, when I was young I read a great book on Matteo Ricci called the
Memory Palace of Matteo Ricci.
I highly recommend it. The book is mostly about Ricci and his (and ancient) Mnemonic techniques (I've always been fascinated and interested in mnemonic and mental techniques) but it has some good, even superb information on how he operated as a missionary.
I have a BA, a JD, an MBA, and I'm currently working on a degree in Conflict Resolution/Negotiation.
Sounds like you're well prepared for something. Is negotiation part of your work? With all of those capabilities you should be of real use to somebody.
Well, I'm gonna go get a late breakfast and start my day. Exercise first, then some relaxation and solitude.
See you guys.
)
