I didn't read through all 10 pages of this thread, so I apologize if I'm repeating someone's thoughts...
I think that part of the problem I have with the marketing was that Wizards seemed to be saying (in some but not all instances) "You know how we said 3rd edition was awesome and fanatastic? Well actually it was a bit broken, so we fixed it with 3.5. But we realize now that's not good either. But this new version is definitely awesome and fantastic. You can trust us! Get rid of your old books and buy all new ones!"
That's obviously a gross oversimplification, but it was an underlying theme I sensed in a lot of communication. That in itself doesn't kill 4E for me, but the things I've read about the changes to the game don't make me more inclined to try it. I still haven't bought the books, but I was willing to give it a try based on what I saw...in the DDI. That, my friends, is the biggest failure of the marketing campaign. The feeling that they lied to me about what would be available.
You can argue all day that the online component is not D&D, the books give me everything to play. That isn't the point. DDI was touted in all the talk-up of 4E to be the greatest thing since sliced bread and would truly make 4E the game everyone wanted to play. Well, it didn't happen, and probably won't happen until sometime next year. The lack of communication in terms of a new marketing strategy (i.e., they could have said "4E is awesome, and when DDI goes online later it will be even better!" sometime in March) kills it for me. WotC comes off as snake oil salesmen, promising one thing and delivering another. I don't know if that's what JD Wider was getting at, but that's how I see it.