D&D 5E Mearls' "Firing" tweet

[Gradine]

Oh what a broad brush we paint with.

I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

 

[CleverNickName]

Here's a pearl of wisdom that I picked up from my therapist a while ago (anger management, long story, I'll spare you the details.) There are exceptions in all cases, of course. But for the most part:

People want to be right, and will resent being told they are wrong.
People want stability, and will resist being told to change.
People want allies, and will defend those they agree with.
No matter the cause, no matter the evidence, no matter the cost.

So if you feel yourself getting resentful, inflexible, or defensive in an argument, the first thing you should do is ask yourself why.

 

[robus]

Here's a question to hopefully begin the wrap up of this thread....


Has anyone, who's followed along with the discussion, been moved to change their opinion on the matter (no matter how much, no matter which way)?

 

[redrick]

Here's a question to hopefully begin the wrap up of this thread....


Has anyone, who's followed along with the discussion, been moved to change their opinion on the matter (no matter how much, no matter which way)?

There is an understanding we have in film. "When you make a big suggestion to the director, they will usually reject it. Some time later, they will make the same suggestion to you, and pretend it was their idea all along."

That's how I feel about the goal of these conversations.

 

[billd91]

Here's a question to hopefully begin the wrap up of this thread....


Has anyone, who's followed along with the discussion, been moved to change their opinion on the matter (no matter how much, no matter which way)?

This and other similar discussions have gotten me to improve my reaction to similar issues. I'm definitely more sensitive to the experiences of people with less privilege than I have. I may not always agree with their positions and opinions (for example, I don't think Mentzer was threatening a blackball of Jessica Price - rather, I think he was just saying he wouldn't be available to open doors for her in the industry {assuming he really has that ability, which I think he may have a self-inflated idea of given his big kickstarter failure} and that's not a blackball, that's just not using his clout to help her), but I'm less willing to make a snap decision to disagree with them and a lot more willing to empathize with their position.

 

[jgsugden]

Just a suggestion: If you choose to attack the behavior, rather than the person, you're going to get a lot more traction and acceptance.

 

[Cyrinishad]

Here's a question to hopefully begin the wrap up of this thread....


Has anyone, who's followed along with the discussion, been moved to change their opinion on the matter (no matter how much, no matter which way)?

I've been moved to change my opinion... Initially my opinion was "There's no point in continuing to beat a dead horse...", but then I realized I was wrong... This dead horse clearly hasn't been beaten enough... because we can still recognize that it was a horse... Continue the beatings...

 

[Gradine]

I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

I'm being somewhat flippant with this response, the text you quoted earlier does bear some qualification: certainly there are people who have been question Kate Welch's qualifications that aren't frothing, red-pill, dyed-in-the-wool misogynists; those individuals, however, aren't the subject of either my post nor Mearls' tweet.

That said, the tenor of the questioning (even from people who wouldn't describe themselves as misogynist) reveal an implicit, if unconscious, bias in their line of questioning, as someone else (I forget who) made the point earlier in the thread that you weren't really seeing people air these same types of suspicions regarding male hires with seemingly less relevant experience. It's worth spelling out that that unconscious bias exists, that all men struggle with it at at some time or another, and to call it out for what it is. That's not to villainize people, but to make them question the presence of their own inherent biases and hopefully grow a little from the experience.

The frothing misogynists/racists/etc? Nobody owes them anything, least of all a civil discourse on the errors of their ways. Granted, there are people who are doing that very trying, very difficult, and not often rewarding work, and more power to them. But that's not the only viable tactic; certainly making it clear such behavior and attitudes are abhorrent and banning them from private spaces can ultimately make a difference too, especially if it happens on a broader scale in a vast array of locations. Ignoring it, as some on this thread have advocated? That's not at all a viable strategy for dealing with people like this.

 

[Obryn]

Here's a question to hopefully begin the wrap up of this thread....

Has anyone, who's followed along with the discussion, been moved to change their opinion on the matter (no matter how much, no matter which way)?

Changing opinions and communities isn't a snap kind of a thing. It's probably pretty rare that people can point to just one thing that completely flipped their opinions around. It takes a build-up and reinforcement over time, where you're giving people a good toolbox with which they can understand similar situations in the future.

If this has built awareness, put our community misogynists on the defensive, and helped to show folks that the gaming community isn't entirely terrible (and I think I saw a few posts to that effect earlier on) then it's done everything I'd hoped it would do.

 

[nswanson27]

Here's a question to hopefully begin the wrap up of this thread....


Has anyone, who's followed along with the discussion, been moved to change their opinion on the matter (no matter how much, no matter which way)?

I think there was the major topic of discussion on the surface level, and then there were several sub-topics that rose up from discussions of the main one. I can't really say my personal position has changed on anything, but I think there were some great observations made.