Yet 4e is blessed with an excellent system in this regard, almost too good.
Yes, very much so!
However I'd just like to point out one thing. RPGs are fairly abstract. Remember the post about the guy with all the detailed rules for fighting with greatswords, only to find out when he talked to someone knowledgeable on the subject that his theories were simply wrong. Likewise, who's to say that jabbing your spear at a Kobold is going to prove advantageous? A lot of things could happen. A character who's a real expert on using a spear (Maybe Using say Polearm Momentum to depict this) might well be expert enough to guarantee the result you describe. Other characters? Not so much. For instance what stops the player of the Kobold (the DM presumably) from describing his action as grabbing your spear and moving inside your reach to gut you with a nasty uppercut?
Somewhere upthread I mentioned something about aesthetic preferences. I think this is where the come into play. Maybe you want hyper-realism; maybe you want more of a swords & sorcery vibe, or a high-fantasy one. That preference should determine if poking the spear at the kobold is advantageous or not.
It's possible that poking the spear could be a bad move! Kobolds are shifty, so he takes advantage of your reach and slides in and stabs you in the gut! +2 to his attack roll.
I think in D&D the DM is in the best position to make this call, but that's only for a specific style of play. There are other ways to determine if that kobold should get an advantage or not - in FATE, he could use his Shifty trait for a +2 bonus; the DM doesn't have to be the one who makes the judgement call there.
Nor does it seem to me that using powers precludes or inhibits one from using them in creative ways. It seems to me that the powers simply give you a baseline of things the player understands his character is good at. He can still undertake other actions. I'd also say that hit points are a big thing here. The example of grabbing your opponent's sword arm illustrates this. You're simply not going to neutralize a skilled and determined (IE non-minion opponent with substantial hit points) THAT easily. Again, the DM would be perfectly reasonable to describe the response "Your opponent skillfully shifts the sword to her other hand, jabbing at your face!"
Definitely not!
What happened was that the NPC spent that round casting
Sleep and Dhalia spent that round forcing the NPC's sword hand to her throat; even though she missed, in my judgement as DM I don't think swapping hands would have been possible because of the position of the sword after Dhalia's action. (Even if the NPC had a hand free - one hand was stuck via
Spider Climb to the tower wall so she wouldn't fall to her death. Oh yeah, and casting spells doesn't require gestures, though sometimes they help.)
I'm coming to understand that people have certain ideas about the style of description being used at a table. Yes, it is more colorful to describe your attacks in detail. In a sense this comes back to the earlier "immersion" thing. Colorful descriptive language is not RP. Ryan's actors can no more improve a bad plot than a player describing a creative use of his sword is RPing his character better than the player of the other character who's dwarf unleashes a daily because he hates orcs even if it isn't the most clever thing he could do.
Mostly I just don't see this hypothesized decoupling thing at all. That gets really at the heart of LostSoul's position. I guess we probably talked this through a few threads ago though
Yeah, I'm understanding other people's positions more and more as we talk about this. One thing that happens to me is that I easily shift back into my default assumptions about play, which are biased by my own desires. That's why we go over this so often and I don't "get it"; it can be hard for me to grasp that different point of view, especially when I'm focused on something else and some time has passed.