Memoirs of a Lawyer turned Dungeoncrawler (Updated May 13, 2008)

[Altalazar]

Book IX

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty – Past Prologue

My original perceptions were flawed. The volcano town we were standing in was pre-eruption, not post-eruption. We were still in the past. Lacking any immediate solution to that particular dilemma, we all went shopping.
We sold what valuable items we could from our planar travails, and then emptied our newly-filled purses on other items of interest. For me, I turned in my stained, blood-soaked magical protective cloak for a shiny new magical protective cloak. Hopefully it will serve me even better than the last one. It certainly cost me many thousands of gold. The shopkeeper’s mind made it clear I was not being cheated and he even gave me a small discount after I haggled with him. I did not mention the fact that I knew in advance how far he was willing to drop his prices. I kept my own counsel on that, and as is manifest, the attorney-client privilege kept myself from disclosing it to him.
After emptying our purses, we set out to fill our bellies, finding a decent establishment to replenish our stores of fat and share our tales of glory with any who cared to share a drink with us. And it just so happened that a familiar face came wandering by, though in a much younger visage.
“Princess! Princess!” shouted Ee from across the room. She looked at us as if it were the first time she ever saw any of us, which of course, it was. She seemed reluctant to sit with us until she looked at me, and then she quickly sat down right next to me, her hip against mine. The visions I saw in her mind would have gotten you several different statutory violations for indecency in most jurisdictions, were they ever to be written down. Of course, since she was psionically active, it was quite likely she wanted to share those visions with me. I tried my best not to try and discern if that were a likely scenario.
As she sat with us, I explained to her, in great detail, who we were, how we got where and when we were, and our prior, future, associations. She seemed very interested by this. So interested, in fact, that she had a proposition for us, one that, fortunately, did not involve her earlier thoughts to me.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-One – Princess Proposition

Princess explained to us that she was in the area when she was contacted by an acquaintance who was looking for someone who was missing. Her acquaintance’s name was Anonda, and he was expecting a Cleric of Pelor (my mind noted Marcus’ ears perking up even without turning my attention in his direction) named Damek to replace the former head of a Monestary dedicated to a Shrine of Pelor up in the mountains near Cauldron.
The ground along Damek’s route recently shook, and he has not been seen since he began his journey began approximately one week ago. We were given a map of his origin and destination, and asked to backtrack from the Monestary, to follow his path in reverse, hopefully meeting up with him somewhere on the road between. All good in theory.
I imagined it would not be that simple. I tried to think of ways our employer, apparently an agent of Pelor, would try and betray us. It would have to be either really subtle, like not referring us for new business after the task was complete, or really blatent, like Anonda is actually a demon-lord in disguise, intent on destroying the Monestary, if only he can get the blood of a Pelorian to use for his final sacrifice. Or perhaps he needs two such sacrifices, and hiring us to find Damek is a way to get two Pelorians for the price of one. Needless to say, I did not share this suspicion with Marcus. Let him sleep in peace, blissfully unaware of how evil demons keep hiring us to do their work.
Anonda offered us ten thousand coins of gold to find Damek alive, but only eight thousand gold coins if we found his body. Marcus began to think in his mind how he’d say that we’d do this task for the greater glory of Pelor and would need no payment. I quickly reminded him, “but I’m the one doing the negotiating.” Which I continued. I pulled out my briefcase.
“So, 10,000 gp for Damek’s safe return, 8,000 gp for his dead body. How much of his body do we need, exactly?”
“Uh…” Anonda intoned, before stuttering, “it must be intact.”
“How much, then, for pieces?”
“What?” Anonda exclaimed.
“How much, then, for pieces of his body?” I asked.
“Uh, five thousand gold coins.”
“Right,” I said as I noted that down. “And ok, back to the ten thousand. What if he’s alive, but in a coma.”
“Eight thousand,” Anonda said, somewhat cautiously.
“Right. And if he’s, say, turned to stone,” I asked, trying my best to keep from making eye contact with Ee.
“Eight thousand,” Anonda replied.
“Ok then, it sounds like we have all of the details worked out. If you’ll just sign here, sign here, initial here, and give me your seal, we are all set.” I said to him as I laid forth my duly drafted, and fully legally binding contract, in all known jurisdictions, in front of him.
Anonda mumbled something and signed.
“Great, now we’re going to go find you one Cleric of Pelor named Damek!” I exclaimed.
And so we were off.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Two – One last stop on the way out of town

Before we left town on our task, we located our recently found angels to inquire about the nature of the artifact that brought us to them and, more importantly, to inquire about just what we needed to do to return to our own timeframe beyond just waiting.
Neither of them had any clue it could do such a thing in the first place, so they indicated they would research that question and get back to us.
Not waiting for any further explanation, we then went on our way up to the Monestary.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Three – Monastic life, then life on the road

After two and a half days of travel, we found ourselves standing before the “Mountain View” Monestary. Not a very clever name, but then monks are not known for their clever advertising. I wonder if they are in need of legal counsel. I resolved to ask them once I had negotiations in my favor (from having their Cleric in my back pocket, freshly rescued).
Marcus offered to bless the shrine, which was declined, but he did pray there, giving him that fresh from Pelor feeling that always puts him in a good mood. Then we hit the road yet again.
The first day led to nothing but sore feet. But the second day led to something rather more interesting.
Laid out in front of us was a huge pile of rubble, fifty feet high, that completely obscured the mountain road we were upon. Making my body nimble and light, I walked up to the top and saw that the rubble extended as far as the eye could see. Ground shaking, indeed.
I looked at the ground, and thought how nice it would be to have all of those boulders cleared away, so our journey on the road would be somewhat less painful on my feet than it already was. Much to my surprise, as I thought it, it happened, and the boulder vanished, replaced with a pile of dust. “That could be useful,” I thought to myself. I then told my companions that, were they willing to wait three weeks, I could clear out the boulders for them, one by one. They declined my offer.
Instead, they all joined hands with Krynyn and then turned into the wind, literally, and walked across the sky, over the rubble, while I walked on the boulders behind them. “I’m going to need a new pair of boots,” I thought to myself as I followed the wispy forms of my airborne companions.

 

[Altalazar]

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Four – Damek on the Rocks

We climbed (or flew) up over the rubble, and found ourselves face to face with Damek as he fought off swarming little creatures shooting tiny arrows at his head. Pixies, they apparently were. We quickly ran forward to save him. Unfortunately, in the process, we were all hit as well, and so the next thing we knew, we were walking on the road back to the Monastery, Damek in tow, with no memory of how we got there or how we even found him. But we did still remember the 10,000 gold we were owed. There was nothing in this contract about any reduction in price for his lack of memory, so we collected the full amount.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Five – Memories lost, now found

We then returned to Cauldron, where all of us felt like there was something missing, our memories having been changed to us finding Damek on the road, with no memory of pixies or any landslide in sight.
We sought out Poseidon, the psion, to see if he could help us with what was wrong. He agreed, though as it turned out, he lied to me. He said he would fix our memory. He started on me first, restoring my memory to the point where we found the avalanche, but not much further, before he said he had to stop and resume his work the next day. He then left me alone and I did not see him or my companions for some time after that.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Six – Memories returned

The next day, Poseidon returned, though I sensed something different about his demeanor. I didn’t quite trust what he told me the day before, but I wanted my memories back, so I watched him carefully. He used something called “aura alteration” on me, something I then wished to master, and then worked to restore the rest of my memories. When he was done, my memories were complete, from the time we found the rocks to the time we were struck by the arrows and returned to the road with Damek. It was all very vivid and clear and no details were left out.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Seven – Clues

My memory thus fully restored, I returned that night to my journal, eager to update my memoirs with all that I had forgotten. As I opened the pages, I discovered something strange. Written in the front my journal was something I had not seen before and had no memory of writing. It said that if I ever read this journal and had missing memories from it, that the way to fix this pixie memory loss (caused by their tiny arrows) was the use of a “heal” spell. How could I have written that. I did not know how to cure pixie memory loss, and I did not write anything in my journal after we met the pixies. But it was in my handwriting. Curious.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Eight – More clues

I carefully read through my entire journal, looking for more clues as to what had happened. Nothing else came to mind, though in my careful examination of all of my journal materials, I realized that there were blank pages missing. Many dozens of pages were missing, not from my current journal book, but from the other papers and other blank journals in my belongings. These I also did not recall missing. There was no evidence that they fell out and my materials looked suspiciously clean and neat. It even looked as though a tiny tear in one of my pages I had accidentally made late one night by the fire while writing a new memoir chapter had been miraculously fixed. Curiouser and curiouser.

Cordozo – Chapter Eighty-Nine – Some answers

A voice in my head that sounds like my own. It is myself. It is Cordozo, only the Cordozo from the future, the Cordozo from my past. He is whispering something to me, about hidden journals and secret entries. Or was it all a dream? Finally, I had some answers. Missing chapters, real chapters, chapters from my journal that were written and now gone were now restored. The chapters, the REAL chapters, follow:



Cordozo – REAL Chapter Eighty-Four – Road less traveled now traveled more

After we traveled a quarter of a mile over the rubble, we found the road again, and something rather curious. The road branched out into a new road right where the rubble ended. A small sign there labeled this new road “Oblivion.” True to form, Morwen said, “Let’s follow the road to Oblivion,” thus again reminding me how it is usually a bad idea to follow Morwen’s lead. Morwen then led.
Morwen scouted ahead, with only my voice in her head as company, checking out the path for any signs of our quarry.
While she snuck ahead, I looked at the new-found road. There was something curious about it. It appeared almost like the lower half of a cylinder carved through the mountain. There were signs of subterranean mosses on its lower reaches that were in the later stages of decay. It suddenly struck me that this new road used to be a tunnel through the mountain. Whatever excavated it surely would be worth quite a lot of coin for large construction work. I began hammering out the contractual details in my head, taking notes as I did so, to have a contract ready for signing when the time comes.
Morwen suddenly shouted in my mind that she found something. “Pixies!” “Wonderful,” I thought. We quickly joined her.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Eighty-Five – Pixies – Oh joy

Standing up in the sky was a pack of pixies, three in all, trapped in a cage of force. They were complaining mightily that they “spent a whole day in there!” and that they were “bored!” I quickly rectified the situation, pointing my finger skyward and sending forth the tendrils of my mind to wrap around the bars of their cage of force and to pull them from existence. The pixies quickly flew forth.
They explained that “Rolling Thunder” came through here, wreaking havoc, and apparently unappreciative of pixie pranks. It finally captured them in their cage, after being frustrated by its inability to catch beings of their quick speed and tiny size.
I asked their leader if they saw our cleric walk by. He fervently denied it. It was so obvious he was lying, even Ee could tell. Not desiring to waste much time with the pixies, I formed a deal with them. I told them I had a “special present” just for pixies (a blur potion I held in my palm), and that I would only give it to them if they told. They said that I’d have to get it from them and that they could make me forget it. I said “fine, I can do it. But if I can get it from your mind, and keep it, then I win.”
They agreed, and the game was on. I spent all this time preparing my mind for its task, digging deeper and deeper into the lead pixies’s mind, until it became crystal clear what they knew and what we wanted to know. And then one of them shot me with an arrow and I forgot it, and everything else.
Unfortunately for the pixies, even though my memories were gone, my mind probe was still deep in their leader’s brain, and knowing that, I sought answers to my current amnesia there first. I found out not only what they did to me and how to fix it (spells known as “heal,” “limited wish,” “wish,” and “miracle” all came to mind), but what it was they were keeping from me before. And so with a little help from my befuddled companions (a “heal” from Krynyn) my mind was restored and our path was made clear.
For in the pixie’s mind, I saw a clear vision of our quarry, Damek, heading down this same road and a “helpful” pixie getting his mind off of the road, in the literal sense, as he fired an arrow at him. The newly amnesiac Damek then continued down the road, and the pixies scattered as “Rolling Thunder” appeared.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Eighty-Six – Farmer Torvek is looking green

We came around the bend in the mountain, after walking on this new path for a while, and found ourselves face to face with four men in leather armor surrounding a large troll wearing coveralls, a large straw hat, and wielding a scythe. The troll shouted at us in some unintelligible language and we sprang into action.
My first thought was that this was some poor farmer transformed into a troll and now set upon by his fellow farmers as an aberration of nature, unable to communicate with them. What was actually going on was far stranger.
Ee was ready to kill the troll and charge. I said, “please don’t kill anyone yet,” but Ee was already ahead of me. Fortunately, so was Marcus, and he cast a protective spell of sanctuary on the troll, frustrating Ee’s attempts to decapitate farmer troll.
The men in leather were not so kind, and they continued to attack the farmer, who attacked them back with great vigor even as he retreated into his field off the path.
With a single thought, I was standing behind our farmer friend, whom I linked in mind to say to him “don’t worry, we’re here to help.” Unfortunately, in his desire to avoid being made farmer soup, it took me a while to get a firm grip on him so as to enable me to whisk him away to safety.
Marcus, meanwhile, told them all to drop their weapons, an order he enforced with the power of Pelor. They quickly found their weapons very hot to the touch, and let them fall to the ground.
I finally connected with Torvek, and then with another thought, we were back on the mountain path, far away from any melee. I introduced myself and asked him if he had need of an attorney.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Eighty-Seven – Back on the road to Oblivion

I was quickly disabused of my previous assumptions.
“I was born a troll,” farmer Torvek told me in common. “I moved to Oblivion to forget my former life.” I asked him if he forgot in the pixie-sense, and he replied that he did not.
He suggested that we go talk to the Ladies who run Oblivion. That sounded good to me. He said that he had never before seen violence on the road there. I wondered if the recent unmasking of the path had something to do with that.
We began to walk up the back way to Oblivion, until I suggested that we meet up with my companions, because they had subdued the bandits. As we returned on the path, one of the bandits ran back our way. I quickly locked his brain, and farmer troll Torvek picked him up on his shoulder to carry him to town. My companions already had the others in custody when I met up with them in Torvek’s field.
Torvek told us that the Ladies of Oblivion were Lillends, whatever those are, and that everyone comes to Oblivion to start life anew. He also told us about a recent resident of the town, someone who sounded rather like the Pelorian we were seeking. We knew he needed little help forgetting his former life.
The Ladies themselves verified what Torvek told us, but they also had a tale of woe. Apparently, the destruction we had seen was caused by a “Juggernaut.” They were still rebuilding after the damage it had done. They asked us if we would help them with it. Of course, Marcus said yes, but before he could continue, I said, “here’s our standard contract…”


Cordozo – REAL Chapter Eighty-Eight – We like our worries up front

We sauntered into the town square, greeting by a large sign which read “Welcome to Oblivion! Leave your cares behind!” Somehow, there was something sinister about that sign. Never trust happy signs in a village full of monsters happily plowing their fields. Monsters, in this case, being an ogre, a drow, and a human.
At the center of the square was a fountain inscribed with the words “Drink deeply and leave your cares behind.” I began to notice a theme. Morwen said, “It looks refreshing.” I quickly said, “I don’t think we should drink from this fountain.” I almost had to tackle Morwen and Ee to keep them from taking a drink. A lawyer’s work is never done. Oftentimes the hardest part of the job is protecting one’s clients from themselves.
Just beyond the fountain, I saw more evidence of the path of destruction, ten feet wide, and as long as the eye could see.
We went back to the ladies to discuss with them the terms of our arrangement. They had offered us 2,000 pieces of gold in return for tracking down and destroying this monster. The monster in question was a large construct on wheels that seemed apparently unstoppable. It had just gone through the village and was now some distance away.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Eighty-Nine – We meet the ladies, properly.

The ladies of the town were lillends, all serpent-like and wrapped around four columns in a large public building near the town center. “Welcome to Oblivion, stranger!” they all declared upon seeing us. “Do you need a lawyer?” was my standard response.
I asked them if the bandits we captured for them would have to drink from the fountain. “We’ll have to discussssssss that” was their serpent-like reply. Their forked tongues would look great in a courtroom, I’m sure.
“Let me guess – no prison,” I replied. I got the feeling the bandits would soon be drinking from that fountain.
Ee, as always, got right to the point. “New guy. Where him go?”
Marcus also piped up, “I am also a brother of Pelor.”
The ladies replied, “Nobody comes here unless they are looking for it. We are very upset about the earthquake.”
Then they added the dreaded conditions. “In addition to the gold, we require that you take a potion to forget this place when you leave.”
There was no way I was going to let them mess with my mind. And especially not my journal. NO ONE messes with Cordozo’s Memoirs. That is written right on it, in fine print, on the back. “Cordozo’s Memoirs. NO ONE Messes with Cordozo’s Memoirs.” Then there is lots of fine print detailing all of the definitions of “messes with” and all of the consequences of doing so. Most involve large fines and long days in court. Recently amended to the possible consequences under subsection 194(IV)(e)(1) was “disintegration.” Of course, since it was all written in legalese, probably most could not entirely decipher the details without retaining counsel. But that does not change the fact that, under the law, everyone is presumed to know the law.
I began to make appropriate plans.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Ninety – Gorchuck and Damek

Ee’s query led us to Gorchuck, the town healer. A beholder. We met up with him when he was working on healing our quarry.
Gorchuck’s house had a large sign which said “Gorchuck’s Healing & Apothecary.” He had a special lens on one eyestalk and his big eye was closed while he used a very narrowly focused disintegration beam to remove remnants of green slime from Damek’s unconscious form.
Ee, who had arrived on the scene first, kept trying to interrupt him and Gorchuck kept shouting “Take a seat, I’ll be with you in just a minute!” in a strange chorus of Ee and Beholder that got louder and louder as the rest of us approached.
Finally, he was finished, and Damek was healed, and we had a conversation.
Damek seemed to think he was needed here, despite our pleas to the contrary, that he was needed in his monastery. Finally, he compromised, and promised to let us heal his mind from the pixies because he could always drink from the fountain again if it turned out we were incorrect. That decided, Marcus and Damek went off to heal other members of the village before we rested for the night in anticipation of chasing down the juggernaut in the morning.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Ninety-One – Blades and beams, oh my, there’s a juggernaut, bye-bye

Damek accompanied us on our trek after the juggernaut. We followed it for miles, finally spying it some three hundred feet away, slowly rolling over the landscape. It saw us and stopped and turned around and came after us. Very. Slowly.
Ee screamed and charged and started running toward it. My companions also started moving in its direction. I decided to walk at a leisurely pace, not very eager to get within reach of its six huge sledgehammers of stone nor its grinding wheels that seemed to flatten even the boulders it rolled over. I quickly went over everything my mind was capable of and came to the conclusion that almost nothing there would likely harm what was a large, solid rock monstrosity with no discernable brain or weaknesses. My encounter with the rock-slide came to mind and so I began to concentrate.
As I got ever closer, Krynyn set up a barrier of blades in front of the construction, doing some damage as the blades made sparks bouncing off its hardened surface.
I boldly stepped forward a few more steps and then, taking careful aim with my finger, sent forth a ray of green light, from my brain to its granite center. My aim was dead on, striking exactly the center of its mass at the very edge of my range. I sensed it would have eviscerated its heart, had it had one. But as it was, it was satisfying to see the great climax of our encounter end in a large pile of dust, slowly wafting in the breeze.
Ee looked downright mad. “You steal me kill again!” “Cordozo always takes away my glory.”
I suggested to Ee that perhaps it was for the best, in this case. Ee looked ready to run right into the six arms of the beast. I doubted even Ee could stand up to such punishment.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Ninety-Two – A plan unfolds like paper in the wind

We returned on the path back to the village. Over the hours we walked, I wrote in my journal, making multiple copies of what I was writing, in case they dared mess with my sacred texts.
We needed to rest a day for Krynyn to heal Damek’s mind, so I took that time as well.
One copy of my journal entries since we began our search for Damek I sent off to another plane, one of the more neutral planes, along with a note, promising a reward of 1,000 pieces of gold to whomever returns said journal to Cordozo in the city of Desbury on the prime material plane. I made sure to send it to a location I was unfamiliar with, so there was no way anyone could locate it. If I couldn’t find it, no one else would stand much of a chance to find it, either.
Another copy of my journal I hid out in the mountains there, with another similar note, leaving off any mention of the planes.
And then, I took advantage of our unique situation and reached out my mind, across the mountains, over the rivers, and into another mind that I found very familiar.
“Cordozo? This is Cordozo from the future. I have a task for you to complete…”
When I was done, I had asked myself to make a copy of the journal notes dictated to him, and then had him hide copies in “our” residence, as well as in various other places in town. I also had him take dictation about a note to myself to be left at the residence, written in a code only we would understand, as psion lawyers sharing the same brain. It was short and to the point.
I then completed one more set of entries, and prepared to meet the ladies.

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Ninety-Three (from secret journal entries) – We leave our worries behind

Upon the beholder’s insistence, we collected our reward and drank the potions, after much mucking about with Morwen. I was as reluctant as her, but decided fighting them then would not be wise. Leave that for the future.
After we drank, they led us out and they also violated my person, stealing things from me and messing with my memoirs in clear violation of subsections 1 through 197. While it is always sad to have to deal with a violator of the law, it is always just to do so. See earlier secret journal entries, special section.
Damek, of course, upon having his real memories restored, agreed to return to his obligations in the real world. So we took him to his monastery.
We then returned to Cauldron, where all of us felt like there was something missing, our memories having been changed to us finding Damek on the road, with no Oblivion or even any landslide in sight.
We sought out Poseidon, the psion, to see if he could help us with what was wrong. He agreed, though as it turned out, he lied to me. He said he would fix my memory, but instead, he just changed it to include only the pixies and the landslide, and to leave oblivion out of it, thus again, violating subsections 45 through 194 of messing with my memoirs. But, of course, I did not know it at the time.


Cordozo – Secret Entries – War is declared, or rather, the lawsuit has been filed

So, that is what really happened. Not only did the denizens of Oblivion see fit to violate my person, my mind, and my memoirs, this Poseidon fellow has as well, for reasons still unclear to me. I do not want to bring this up with my companions because I do not know the extent of the alterations to their minds. Suffice it to say that I will keep a close eye on them. And from now on, I will be sending off to random neutral planes each new set of memoir entries I create, along with monetary rewards for their return to Desbury. And I will take advantage of the overlap of time with myself for as long as that lasts so he (well, me) will back them up that way as well. I will just have to be sure to keep my dual knowledge secret from the others as long as that lasts.
Now on to consequences. It was not right that they eviscerated my person, my mind, and my memoirs. Such is an evil act, and as such, it must be punished according to the dictates of the judicial system. Those evil beings in Oblivion will feel my wrath when the time is right. They must be destroyed for doing this. No other penalty is sufficient. And this Poseidon as well is now in my sights. I will no longer trust him or his ilk. He isn’t even a lawyer.
They will all learn that it does not pay to violate section 194(IV)(e)(3) of the protections afforded my memoirs. Justice will be served, even if it takes years. The courts, alas, move slowly but steadily forward.



Book X

Cordozo – REAL Chapter Ninety-Four – Another missing daughter, Ur my

After our encounter with Poseidon, we found ourselves another job to do, this time the search was for the daughter of a noble named Lord Ur. Her name was Celeste and she was in her mid-20s. She had hired a group to find a missing dwarf. The dwarf, when found, was apparently not in his right mind, but she still took the journey to return him to his family. She left for Portsmith, a town to the south four weeks ago and has not been heard from since.
“Here’s our standard contract.”

 

[Brogarn]

Definitely one of my favorite story hours.

 

[Altalazar]

Definitely one of my favorite story hours.

Why, thank you! It always feels good to be appreciated.

 

[Altalazar]

Something I just wanted to add about the last post - a side note from the game that was another fun roll of the dice. The Juggernaut combat was to be the climax of this little trek. We spotted it 300 or so feet away. We all started moving toward it, Cordozo moving not that fast, but still moving. Finally, a Krynyn-made blade barrier does the first damage to it, and the next round, i think maybe I'm close enough, so I decide to try the only thing I think will work - disintigrate. So I just roll to hit, figuring I can calculate it after I roll (my chances of hitting with a ray aren't even that great) - and then I roll a natural '20' - ok, so i hit, but then we're not sure if I'm actually in range, so someone plots it out and figures out that I'm 205 feet away from the thing, and my range is 210 feet. I roll damage - crappy roll, but apparently enough, because it is disintigrated. Combat over. Anti-climacitc. But a relief. Later, we determine that I actually could only have hit it on a '20' (at least, that's what I think we determined - I think it's base AC was 28 (not sure what it was for touch) and my BAB was +5 with no modifiers, and there may have been range increments as well).

What was funny was that the next week, in the Islands campaign, I just about ended another combat with another natural '20' (well, two in a row) on a hit-cleave, which caused the DM to mention that I "always" do that - which isn't quite true - wish it were. I guess it tends to stick out in the mind - that very same combat I also rolled like five rounds in a roll rolls that never exceeded a '3' when I needed a '4' to hit. Law of averages. Anyway, just wanted to share that dice-anecdote since it was part of the session that generated the latest story hour entry here.

 

[Brogarn]

Why, thank you! It always feels good to be appreciated.

No prob. Some bit of praise in exchange for at work entertainment is a small price to pay.

You still planning on more updates? The last story post looks like a conclusion of sorts.

 

[Wystan]

Printing it now to read....

 

[Altalazar]

No prob. Some bit of praise in exchange for at work entertainment is a small price to pay.

You still planning on more updates? The last story post looks like a conclusion of sorts.

Oh yes. As long as the campaign continues, there will be updates. As you may already have noted, the 'Book X' indicates that a new adventure is beginning. (The tenth). Some adventures take many sessions, others only one or two. But we intend this campaign to last a while, into the Epic levels eventually. Since we are all currently about level 11, it will take quite a while for us to get there.

 

[Brogarn]

Oh, hey, lookit that. Book X. Read right past that. Way to be observant on my part! I blame women. There wasn't one yelling at me while I was reading, so of course I didn't notice it. Or if you had asked if I noticed your new haircut. I got that one down pat.

 

[Altalazar]

Cordozo – Chapter Ninety-Five – Shopping for necessities – for the adventuring “profession”

My companions spent the day after our hire going about town, looking for adventuring “necessities” of magic, including strange brews, mystical writings, and items of power. Morwen suggested I look for rings – she said one could wear one on each hand, rings of magic, no more, but obviously much less, because I had not a single ring on my finger, mystical, magical, or otherwise. But I could not afford to spend vast sums – I had a lifestyle to maintain.
I picked up several strange and wondrous brews to protect my person should I ever stoop so low as to be engaged in a brawl. And I selected two quaint rings, one of which, so it was claimed, would keep brawlers slightly at bay, and the other, even more fantastically, promised to turn any fall into a soft, safe, feathery fall leaving one totally unharmed. Thus equipped, I went about much more important business.

Cordozo – Chapter Ninety-Six – Shopping for necessities – the REAL necessities

I set about looking for what was most important in town – the best restaurant with the best company. Unfortunately, to dine in such a place required joining an exclusive, noble club. And to join required dues and noble sponsorship. Utilizing my contacts, I found the family of Vanderborn Manor to be most helpful in this regard. For a very reasonable sum of two thousand pieces of gold they not only sponsored me, but they also paid my one thousand gold piece membership fee. The club was so exclusive, once joined, no badge of membership was required – they knew all of their members on sight. Thus, I became the newest member of the “Cusp of the Sunrise” and hobnobbed with the nobles of Cauldron.
Thus ennobled, I joined my fellow nobles for an early dinner, the royal buffet (for one), for a very reasonable price of twenty-five pieces of gold, twelve satisfying courses filled out the afternoon and evening, as well as my waiste-line. Not entirely unmindful of my less fortunate companions, I asked for another full meal to be packed up for travel, which they did for a very reasonable fee.

Cordozo – Chapter Ninety-Seven – Road-worn travelers, we

We entered the road in pursuit of Celeste. From what we knew, she was traveling with an old dwarf and his son to the City of Portsmith, part of the Metropolis of Dunkirk, a large enclave to the south. I mounted my trusty horse, as yet unnamed (a good name should be earned or at least legally codified) and headed south with my companions.
For our first stop, I surprised my companions with my packed up royal buffet. While the club frowns on distributing food to non-members, I knew such a frown was not legally binding, and what they do not know they cannot complain of. My companions were appropriately grateful for the food that was not of the iron-ration variety. Unfortunately, I only had one meal packed. I did not think it would have lasted longer than one day in preservation, in any case. But at least we started the journey right.
We traveled for two solid weeks, stopping every so often at thorps along the way to ask villagers if they had seen our quarry. We had no luck in that regard. Finally, our travels brought us to a thorp of reasonable size, known as Twin Oaks. Happy farmers played with their families and readied themselves for the harvest. Birds were singing, the crops were swelling, and they were very friendly. X-shaped wooden fences held together with fire-hardened wooden staffs ringed the crop-land. Eight buildings made up the Thorpe, including the Plough Tavern, whose innkeeper greeted us with a smile. I was immediately suspicious.

Cordozo – Chapter Ninety-Eight – The Thorp of Demon Oaks, er, Twin Oaks

Bumone, the innkeeper owned the Plough Taven and ran it for his wife and three children. I immediately asked him for his nicest room, which cost ten silver. I held my tongue when he announced the price, not pointing out that he should simply have said that the room cost one gold. Perhaps no one in this small town had any gold, to speak of. That would soon change. Cordozo was in town! I tipped Bumone an extra gold for the night.
Morwen also took one of the three nice rooms in the inn, while Krynyn and Marcus sought to bilk an old lady out of free lodging by giving her healing for her pained joints. Why they seem to need to use the legal fiction that it is charity offered for charity given when it is really nothing more than a standard commercial exchange of bartered services for lodgings is beyond me. But then I have always found the holy ones perplexing.
In the morning, we had our breakfast and then moved on, traveling another week on the road until we came across something unusual.

Cordozo – Chapter Ninety-Nine – Roadside interlude

Another week of travel on the road led us through many more tiny thorps, none worth mentioning, but what was most interesting was between thorps. We saw heading down the road toward us a fancy, noble carriage traveling at a good rate of speed. As it passed us by, heading north, Morwen spotted a regal young lady in the rear of the carriage. She was probably eight to ten summers old and very well dressed.
I got a peek at her as well. So there goes another demon off to kill all of the nobles, this time perhaps in Cauldron. Either that or she’ll feed in Demon Oaks. Our return trip is sure to be an interesting one.

Cordozo – Chapter One Hundred – Days in and out

Six days more travel on the road, we found ourselves in a town on the outskirts of the Dunkirk metropolis. We made it to an inn at dusk known as The Day in, Day Out Inn. This place had a somewhat decent room for the peasant-busting price of two gold per night. So, of course, I paid four. My coin gave me first use of the bathwater for the evening, a luxury I took full advantage of, cleaning off the sticky dust of the road before heading down for the evening’s meal.
As I enjoyed my somewhat bland meal, I inquired of the innkeeper any word about Celeste.
“Yes, my lord, we did see her come by about two months ago. She was accompanied by an old dwarf and a strange grey furry creature in a cage.”
This was interesting. Further inquiry led us to discover that this creature was most likely a “sloth,” something not seen in these particular parts outside the conjuration circles of those trained in the mystical arts.
“Two days later, my lord, she returned, heading north and traveling alone. She looked highly agitated. She stated something about going to talk to the Lord Mayor to give him a piece of her mind.” The only Lord Mayor north of here would be that of Cauldron. Curious.
We finished our meal, retired for the night, then headed south in the morning.

Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred One – Something rotten in Dunkirk

We arrived just before dark in Dunkirk. Morwen and I spent coin freely trying to loosen the tongues of anyone who might have seen Celeste or the old dwarf and the sloth. Inexplicably, we could not find a single soul who could recall seeing any of them. Stranger still, their destination, the dwarf’s manor known as Splintershield Estate, was also unknown to anyone, but there was a place in the same location known as Carpenter’s Manor that had not been used in years.
Immediately, I began to wonder if angels or demons or both had once again moved us or perhaps Celeste and this dwarf to another time, just to make life difficult. Appropriately, Carpenter’s Manor, once the home of a very successful merchant named Carpenter, was rumored to be occupied by spirits. Morwen wanted to go there immediately. I looked at the sun going down and announced we would wait until morning. Why give the demons any advantages?

Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Two – At least one thing not so rotten in Dunkirk

I finally found an inn suitable for my standing as an attorney. It cost a respectable twenty-five gold per night, so of course, I paid them fifty, just to make sure they got the message that I want the best.
We all retired to our respective inns (my companions stayed somewhere much cheaper in a less respectable part of Dunkirk). I was about to drift off when I heard a knock at my door. Ever alert for an ambush, and worried that I was alone, I quickly sent a call through the mindlink to my companions and warned them that someone was at my door. I queried who was there.
“My name is Candy.”
“Of course you are.”
She apparently was there to offer her “services” to me, courtesy of the inn, but also for a charge of five gold coins. This was unexpected. I guess they know how to treat their guests well. Of course, I paid her ten.
Just in case, I kept my companions apprised through the mindlink as to what was happening. Once Candy was more comfortable, I heard Marcus over the link implore, “Can you terminate the link now??”
Fortunately, I was safe. I guess nobles do well, as one should expect. Two thousand gold well spent. Membership has its privileges.
Just before I drifted off, I sent one last message through the mindlink.
“Krynyn or Marcus, might I trouble you for a ‘cure disease’ in the morning?”

Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Three – Breakfast and Carpenter’s Manor

The morning found Candy departing, but asking me how long I would be in town. We then left for Carpenter’s Manor, the full light of the sun leading the way to clear out path of demons, ghosts, and vampires. I was sure we’d be seeing all three at the manor.

The entrance to the manor was hidden from the street, allowing Morwen to more stealthily determine that the gate was already “unlocked.” The house itself had a double wooden door, but we found that the entrance from the stable actually really was unlocked, causing me to remark to Marcus, “See, they left the door open, just like the gate.”
Inside, there was a lot of dust, though some rooms had less dust than others. It looked like the house was generally abandoned, but perhaps it was used by someone in some rooms more recently. But there was no sign of them, beyond the disturbed dust.
The manor was a dead end, so we returned to the city to look for more information.

Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Four – More information, less sense

Talking around town, spreading a few coins around, I determined that the young lady / demon / vampire spawn / evil double of a little girl that we saw on the road was the niece of the king of Bellanon who had come to Dunkirk to stay at the King’s Manor. Her name was Princess Perstefanie.
Since the last time we saw her was a week prior, we figured she was at the Demon Oaks Thorpe by now. So either she is a demon and she’s eaten them all, or she’ll be eaten by one there. That was my prediction.
We quickly headed back north. We determined that since Celeste had gone north, and she was the one we were paid to locate, that was the direction we would go. Though it was strange that no one in Demon Oaks (Twin Demon Oaks?) had seen her in either direction.

Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Five – Back to Demon Oaks

Two weeks later, we walked back into Demon Oaks. As expected, the fresh crops were still ungathered. And now there was something different. There were no children out playing. And the tavernkeeper seemed eager for us to leave. I could read the fear in his mind just by looking at his face.
Two patrons sat at a table in the inn, watching us while pretending not to. I knew the innkeeper would never talk to me, so I linked with his mind and asked him what was going on – I assured him it was safe.
“No, go! They’ll kill our children! Go! Go!”
“No, they will kill them if we leave. Trust us. We’re here to help. You have nothing to fear.”
I passed on our conversation through my mindlink with my companions.
Krynyn went out to the outhouse and cast a spell in view of the flies, but no one else. He then scanned the area for evil, finding, unsurprisingly, two weak evil auras in the inn, and then two more just outside one of the houses. But what really stood out was the moderately strong aura under the inn.
Meanwhile, the innkeeper seemed impossible to convince, so I decided we needed a plan.
“I can control these two goons here. Then we still have the two outside, and then there’s the evil in the basement of the inn. We should take that out first, and maybe the rest will scatter.”
My companions disagreed, and wanted to save the children first.
“But we can always raise them from the dead if that is a problem,” I suggested helpfully.
Morwen, in her infinite wisdom, pointed out the high cost of the materials required for a raising. So off to the children we went.

Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Six – I gain some new “bodyguards”

I went over to sit with my companions at a table. Marcus asked for some supplies, to give us an excuse to not have left yet. Then I reached out the tendrils of my mind to the two rough-looking types sitting at the table nearby. I quickly crushed their wills beneath mine, taking it over and making them my personal bodyguards. Then I tried to explain this new situation to the innkeeper, who took a while to finally understand the concept that they were now not a threat to him.
Meanwhile, Morwen went out invisible, scouting out the building with all of the children in it. She reported back to me in the mindlink that she saw some of the children plus two more thugs inside added to the one at the front and the one at the back of the building. She snuck around the back of the building and stood behind the thug back there.
I then began phase two, walking outside with my new bodyguards flanking all of us, as if they were escorting us. It was enough to get us right up to the one at the front. Morwen quickly dispatched the thug in back. Krynyn quickly slayed the one in front, and then Krynyn, Marcus, and Morwen ran inside and dealt with the two inside.
I stood outside with my “bodyguards” waiting until I heard the all clear inside. I was already starting to wrap the tendrils of my mind around my two new “friends,” waiting for the word that would allow me to crush their tiny little brains. Wait for it…