Memoirs of a Lawyer turned Dungeoncrawler (Updated May 13, 2008)

[Altalazar]

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Fifty-Four – Pigs will eat Anything

The first of us in the door was Larch, in the form of an owl. As soon as he was across the threshold, six fiendish, slavering boars charged from the pews and surrounded him, their foul tusks slicing through Larch’s owl-flesh. I found this particularly surprising because Owl flesh is so gamey and not very good, especially raw. (One of my former clients, Lestroud Tenniman, who of course claimed his innocence, had been quite a connoisseur of owl flesh. He grew up on his family farm and he’d eat anything that was still breathing that he could get his claws into. This did not upset anyone very much until the hired hands started to disappear. After having so many innocent clients sentenced to prison or death because they were too poor to bribe a judge or a watchman, this client was my first lesson in the other side of injustice. His family was quite rich and well connected and though it was clear the hired help was slowly making its way through his digestive tract, he was acquitted. His family then moved him out to one of their further farming estates and I lost track of him.)
Close on the heels of the boars, but really from the balcony, was a nightmare of a fiery horse that flew up and over the boars to just above Larch before letting loose with a hot, smoky breath that made my eyes water, but seemed to do little else. Ee pushed himself in to where Larch was flying and proceeded to gut the boars one by one. The last thing Ee heard for a while was Kyrnyn saying “Holy…” and then he was deaf, though not mute, as evidenced by his further swearing the way only a true barbarian can.
Kyrnyn’s holy word stunned the boars into a stupor and sent the foul nightmare back to the plane from which he sprang. The boars did not last long after that.
Meanwhile, the not-so-hidden figure in the balcony let loose with arrows against us and so I sent Moira and Valaria toward him to dispatch him. As they flew his way, I pointed a finger at the balcony and the entire balcony and stairs vanished in a puff of dust, sending our attacker tumbling to the ground. Impressively, he landed on his feet, but he was not without cover standing in a corner and he was quickly engaged by Valaria, Moira, and Ee. He was not long for this world.
Thus dispatched, we stood alone in the Abbey, save the villagers awaiting rescue. Plan Apocalypse had been a success. We then went back to carefully explore all the rooms we had run through in our zeal to dispatch the demons and the cultists.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Fifty-Five – Talking to the mirror more fruitful than talking to the dead

Kyrnyn asked questions of one of the dead cultists in the library, using the power of his god. Unsurprisingly, the cultists knew even less than we did about anything of importance. I suggested he try the same with the wizard, who may know more. All either could say was the Apocalypse was “soon.” They were lucky they were already dead or I’d have done some things to them that would have made Lestroud blush.
One useful thing the wizard did say was that he studied the strange melting of the walls around the altar using the mirror. We took the mirror over to the altar and saw that the reflection shifted between seeing us and seeing a large carnivorous plant that filled half the chapel along with a very crazed-looking cultist, who we later determined was the cult leader.
According to the wizard’s notes, the whole section of the abbey was out of phase, and it seemed a dimensional anchor enchantment, cast on the altar, would rectify the situation. For some reason, the wizard was unable to discern this, even though he helpfully had a “dimensional anchor” scroll in his drawer. Of course, these cultists did summon a pack of demons who then tortured and ate almost all of them, so they aren’t exactly winning any awards for intelligence.
One concern I had was that when we did “fix” things, we’d find ourselves standing face to face with a lunatic and his pet demon plant, perhaps on the abyss. Plan Apocalypse, as successful as it was, had drained nearly all of my mental energy. I needed to rest.
Ee and Morwen, of course, wanted to charge straight ahead. Surprisingly, Kyrnyn did too. Of course, the main concern was that the Apocalypse would happen while we were sleeping. And sure, it would be tragic if the whole world were destroyed, but there are other worlds and planes. I was most concerned about being eaten by a giant plant.
Finally Kyrnyn saw reason after he consulted his god and determined that no, the Apocalypse will not happen tonight, though his god seemed rather uninformed on the whole thing. So we walked the villagers back to their village and we rested at the Orc Outhouse.
While there, I questioned the one sane cultist, but got even less coherent answers than we did from the dead ones. She did keep bugging me about fixing the minds of her fellow nut-job cultists. I told her I could not yet take care of them, but it would be soon. She bought it, but then, these people aren’t the brightest lanterns on the street.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Fifty-Six – Apparently Demonic Plants will eat anything Too

We positioned ourselves in the chapel, Valaria called to be by where the cultist stood by the altar, Kyrnyn and Morwen in front of it, Ee and myself out the doors in the hallway. Kyrnyn then anchored the altar with his divine magic, causing all of us to be knocked to the floor as the world shook. For a brief moment we saw a vision of a scorched landscape behind the altar, but it quickly turned to a solid black portal, replacing the statue that stood behind the altar. We also received one demonic plant and one extremely deranged cultist leader.
The plant sprang into action first, attempting to swallow Valaria whole. Fortunately, she managed to squirm free of its grasp.
The crazed cultist leader held an evil-looking dagger in one hand and a large red gem in the other. His hair was all but gone, appearing to have been pulled out by his own hand. He was screaming and bragging about how his powerful, demonic body would allow him to crush us all. His body looked rather emaciated to me. I guess he did not have any villagers to eat here, though he was human himself. He held aloft the gemstone and shouted “I’ll swallow your soul!” and pointed it in the direction of the very large Kyrnyn, but nothing seemed to happen. Either that gem can steal souls or this guy is as nutty as he looks.
Not wishing to see anyone else swallowed by the Hellthorn (as my stolen planar knowledge labeled the demon plant), I pointed a finger in its direction in an attempt to disintegrate it. I put all of the mental energy into it that I could, knowing that plants, especially demon ones, are particularly resistant to such things, but the Hellthorn must have been soft, because it failed utterly to resist me and the whole center of the plant vanished in a puff of dust. Unfortunately, what was left also exploded in a rain of spores, hitting Valaria, Morwen, Kyrnyn, and Larch. I, thankfully, was still out the door.
Valaria quickly got to her feet and charged the crazed cult-leader, knocking the gem from his hand with her blade. Insane or not, it is wise not to take chances with one’s soul. At least, that’s what the priests usually tell you, but not in such a literal sense.
Ee and Morwen quickly finished him off, leaving us once again alone in the abbey.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Fifty-Seven – Welcome to the other side

I knew, deep down in my soul (having kept it away from the red gem) that we’d probably have to cross through that black portal into some foul demon plane. Kyrnyn and the others seemed to think all we had to do was destroy the portal. I knew we’d not be so lucky.
Kyrnyn finally agreed as well when he asked his god and his god, for once, gave him a straight answer. What we had to destroy to stop the Apocalypse was on the other side of that portal. Wonderful. Morwen, ever-helpful with advice and suggestions, told me I should go first through the portal since I was so “eager” to go through it.
“I never go first,” I replied and then stepped through.
We found ourselves standing on a barren wasteland of a landscape, where it was so hot the air shimmered like a strange curtain of light or a translucent waterfall that seemed to stretch in all directions. In the distance, we could see a large column of black smoke. Given the lack of landmarks, I guessed that was where we would be going. It looked like a long walk. Only the special protection against fire and heat was keeping us from burning alive in this foul place. I guess we’ll have to walk fast.

 

[Altalazar]

Sit Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Fifty-Eight – Sick stomach – Sicker “Angels”

Walking turned out to be more difficult than normal. The first step I took ended abruptly when I realized I was puking onto my boots. A wave of nausea overcame all of us, but whether it was from the transition through the gate itself or from the transition to the foul air was unclear. To add to the disorientation, two flying angles that looked like they were built by someone who did not quite know how angels were built swooped down over us and belched forth a foul fire-like pus that was not fire at all, but something that burned just the same. I had the misfortune to be within the effect of both of the Angel Effigies that attacked us, and it nearly knocked the life out of me.
Valaria, brave soul that she is, puking still herself, unable to defend herself, took to the air in front of them, forcing them to alter course and split, preventing them from flying directly over us.
Ee and Valaria both took to the air in pursuit of them both, slicing at the unholy form of one of them. Eventually, they forced one from the sky. The other proved far tougher, until Valaria encased it in ectoplasm, and then it fell as well. Surrounded and about to die, it made one last attempt to vanquish us, shouting its word of blasphemy. The air shimmered around Ee, Morwen, and Valaria, and then they all vanished. My planar knowledge (and my mindlink) combined to tell me that they had all been banished to their home planes.
“Enough of this crap,” I said, using terms somewhat more colorful. I had been marshalling my mental energy for the trip ahead, but now I knew that it would be some time before we could all gather on this plane, so I threw everything I had into a strong mental push against the remaining fallen angel effigy, disintegrating it into a fine dust.
Looking to the sky, I saw many flying demons, and decided a quick exit was in order. I gathered the hands of Kyrnyn and Larch and teleported us to the column of smoke with a thought, staying just long enough to learn the area by heart so we could return later. Then I shifted us back to our home plane, landing unceremoniously in a large pile of hay in an outlying farm near a city I decided not to learn the name of. Now I just needed to find Ee and Morwen.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Fifty-Nine – Ee, Hero of Chaos, Morwen, Family in Hiding?

By the time I received word from Ee exactly where his home village was, located several days outside of Desbury, and teleported to his location, Ee was already being hailed by the villagers as a home-town hero, covered in garlands, surrounded by banners, wreaths in his hair. He was proudly displaying his demon-head to them, and they put it at a place of honor – at the old oak tree in the middle of the village, next to the five-foot mud-hut palaces of Ee’s kin.
Though his village was quaint and backwards, Ee was proud of it, proud of his kin, and they were proud of him. Morwen, on the other hand, seemed rather reluctant to have us come to her home at all. Through the mindlink, she said she was speaking with her dad, whom she had not spoken to in a long time, but it seemed like she was really reluctant to have me come to see where she ended up. Since we had at least 24 hours before she and Ee could return to the Abyssal plane they were banished from, I let her have some time while we all enjoyed the hospitality of Ee’s village.
Then we were off to Stromburg to get Morwen, and from there, to the Capitol. We had a lot of items we had found in the abbey that were of unknown origin. We had some errands to run.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty – First, shopping, then, save the world

We really did not shop for much, save a few potions here and there. What we did do was identify the items of power we found and then put most of them for sale on consignment. So if we do manage to stop the apocalypse and save the world, we’ll have some coin due us when we return from the Abyss.
Two items, the soulstone and the soul dagger we took from the crazed cult leader, were of incredible value, but they were also of incredible evil. To avoid a fuss, we just gave them both to Kyrnyn’s church to dispose of, with the understanding that we would greatly appreciate any “goodwill” they would give us for doing so, be it in the form of a true resurrection we may need in the future or in the form of something more noble.
Our shopping complete, per Morwen’s request, I transported us back to the abbey chapel so we could watch this side of the portal while we rested in preparation for the second trip through. Though for the second trip, I had no intention of using the nausea-inducing black portal to hell (ok, to the Abyss, for those who know the difference).

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-One – Ruined Mansion, Vultured Vrocks

We appeared amidst the grounds of a fantastically huge and impressive mansion, at least in the former sense. The rubble was smouldering and hot, much like the landscape. It was readily apparent that the mansion was destroyed in a battle of epic proportions, a battle between the forces of good and evil. Apparently, evil didn’t quite lose, because otherwise, why were we there? Or maybe three would be a strange twist, and instead of unwittingly working for demons, we are unwittingly working for angels.
We did not dally long, because we spied five Vrocks circling overhead. Fortunately, the rubble provided us plenty of cover. Morwen then started to sneak forward, with the understanding that Larch had the means to bring the Vrocks 30 feet up down to our level. I kept an eye on them, my mind ready to grasp the furthest three at the first sign of trouble.
Sure enough, once Morwen cross half of the distance to them through the rubble, one of them spotted her and squacked to the others. I then grabbed three of their minds and found purchase in their demonic grey-matter. Their wills broken, I told all three of them to fly “thataway,” leaving us only two to deal with in the ruins. They would be gone at least a day, which I hoped would be enough time to do whatever it is we needed to do.
I then slowly made my way through the rubble. Valaria, valiant as ever, flew toward one of the two remaining Vrocks, ready to cut it down from the air. Ee was close behind her.
Wishing to marshal my strength, I decided to crush the ego of the nearest remaining Vrock, and I found it quickly succumbed, taking but two whips before it dropped from the sky, dazed and helpless. Morwen was on the vulture-like demon like a vulture, dispatching it in one of the most self-satisfied coup-de-graces I’ve ever seen.
The remaining Vrock was quickly swarmed by Ee, Valaria, and three summoned winged serpents, courtesy of Larch, falling from the sky to join its brethren.
On the ground near where they both fell, we found a large double door, made of shiny metal, and stamped with the impression of a smiling, demonic face. As always, Ee was both succinct and elegant about what we had to do next.
“Ee go down!”

 

[Altalazar]

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Two – On the Abyss, We get the Shaft

Morwen, as always, examined the door for any surprises. She determined that it used to have a massive trap. As I looked around at the rubble that surrounded us that used to be a demon mansion, I wondered if the trap going off was what caused the destruction, but Morwen interrupted my reverie and said that it was the mansion’s destruction that set off the trap. Oh well, it was a nice thought. Morwen then spent a great deal of time picking the complicated demonic lock. Then, with much effort by everyone, the massive copper doors were pulled open.
Looking down the doors, we saw a circular shaft 300 feet deep. Valaria tried to teleport to the bottom of the shaft, where we saw some sort of grating, but she was unable to do so. So I climbed on her back and she flew me down as Ee did the same for everyone else.
Once we reached the grate, we looked inside and saw a large, spherical room with lots of vents.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Three – Sitting Spiders

“Bebliths. Why did it have to be Bebliths?” I said to myself as I looked down through the grate and saw TWO of them, both sitting on the bottom of the 150 foot wide chamber. Just when I thought it couldn’t be any more treacherous, one of the vents erupted with a blast of magma and then emptied out an opposite grating, filling the room with a searing heat. The other vents, one by one, did so as well, every six seconds, in a rotating pattern around the room.
I foresaw a massive combat in that chamber, running between streams of magma, Bebliths rending our flesh into tiny pieces, Morwen screaming as her flesh was seared off her body, Ee screaming as his armor was shredded and melted into oblivion, Larch screaming as his body died in an unnatural place, far from his grove, and Kyrnyn screaming as his soul was snuffed out in a place his god could never find. Then I looked down again and realized some time had passed and the Bebliths were too big to fit through the grating at the top where we were and they were still just sitting there like dumb rocks.
Twelve seconds later, where the Bebliths were there were two roughly Beblith-shaped piles of dust.
“Ee wonder what in next room,” Ee said as he picked his teeth with a toothpick.
“Ee see pattern,” he said, and then he flew down to the grate at the bottom, along with the rest of us, where we found yet another shaft downward.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Four – My Nose Bleeds for Cold, Fire is Put Out

In the next room we saw a fancy platform of concentric circles over a pit of lava. In the center of it was a large cauldron. But most immediately, I noticed the five large beings of fire that stood next to it.
“Ok, I’m going to take those fire beings out with a little blast of cold,” I said.
Morwen responded, “Wait, are you sure they are evil? What if they are guarding this room to prevent the demon from getting to it?”
“Oh, they are definitely evil,” I said with the same cool, smooth tone I’d used a thousand times when declaring a dyed-in-the-wool criminal “not guilty.” It wasn’t exactly a lie if I never asked the client if he had done it or not, and it was not exactly a lie here, since I figured they must be evil here – everything else is.
I split my mind in two, then readied my brain for a surge of power, overchanneling my mental energy in a dangerous feedback loop. I told Kyrnyn to stand by to heal me, because it was going to hurt me considerably. Then I let forth two blasts of missiles of cold energy, one to each of the beings of fire, the cold maximized as I pressed my brain to its very limit. Blood surged out of my eyes, ears, and mouth, and my brain felt ready to explode as the cold missiles came forth, missiles of a size I never imagined possible. Two each slammed into the fire beings, consuming them utterly, and snuffing their life-fires out in a single instant. Larch helpfully healed me before I fell over from the pain.
“Ee wonder what in next room,” Ee said as he descended to the room to look around.
Looking again at the Cauldron, I realized was the long lost Soul Cauldron, lost for eons, the greatest treasure of the Lord of the Damned, rumored to have the power to grant a demon his greatest desire. It was rumored to have caused the god of love and peace to do evil only once, when it drained his consort of her soul without its consent, and then it drank from it itself, a major blasphemy. The Cauldron of Souls contained a powerful elixir that contained the distilled essence of all of the souls within, melted to their trace components. It was a horrid artifact of evil that had existed for eons.
Three seconds later, the horrid artifact was slowly sinking into the magma, its platform reduced to fine particles of dust.
I looked up and saw a portcullis leading to a passage that presumably led to the final chamber of this abyssal mansion cellar. Morwen unlocked it, Kyrnyn and Ee opened it, and we began to walk down the long, dark passage.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Five – Soul Engine Room – Come out And Fight You Pansy Demon

As we emerged at the end of the long tunnel, we saw a huge room, at least 500 feet across, that contained four large pillars filled to the brim with billions of screaming, writhing, trapped, doomed souls. The Soul Engine came back to me from an obscure legend about how 10,000 demons working for an entire eon built it, and then were all slaughtered, and its existence was hidden from even the gods. So we knew more than the gods. Which would explain why when Kyrnyn asks his god for advice, he usually tells him things like “Follow your Hart. Drink lots of Water.” Because they don’t have a clue.
There were three levels of platforms that had walkways between, above, and around the four massive pillars. But other than that, the room was empty and quiet save for a gentle humming coming from the pillars and walls.
I had a bad feeling about it, so I called forth Moira to aid me while I climbed on Valaria’s back so she could fly me forward, just in case those platforms were less sturdy than they looked.
My companions all moved forward into the room, heading toward the center. I hung back, slowly heading that way. Moria then discovered our final foe, as he appeared out of nowhere and stabbed her through her heart, nearly killing her. But she is one tough Valkrie. She turned around and slashed into him with her mighty greatsword. Valaria flew me up to the platform, and then flew down to flank him. My companions followed suit and soon had him surrounded.
Not wanting any more surprises from him, like a sword through my heart, I slipped the tendrils of my mind into his and then gently removed all traces of my presence from his awareness. As far as he was concerned, I no longer existed. Now if only I could do that for our whole party and for all of the evil demons in existence. Then again, that might limit our opportunities for employment.
The demon, rather than stand and fight, vanished into thin air, though Moria took a quick swipe at him as he did so. We then began to carefully search the chamber, my valkries flying around, my companions walking around, looking for where the demon went. Just when it seemed he was unable to be seen, Moira suddenly sensed his demonic thoughts within 30 feet of her position, as if he were standing right on the side of one of the pillars. She quickly told me where he was in her mental, wordless way, and I quickly informed my companions using my own mindlink of her position, Morwen first.
Valaria teleported to her position, she flew to the pillar, and I called forth Lileth, a third valkrie, to cut off his other avenue of retreat. Morwen flew up above his position, her goggles removing the demon’s invisibility, revealing him standing horizontally on the side of the pillar. Ee took position on the platform, his bow at the ready, and Kyrnyn took position on the pillar below him.
Valaria noticed he had a wand in his hand, presumably of healing. She tried to knock it from his grasp wither her greatsword, but he was just barely able to hold onto it. But while he was distracted with her, Moira knocked it cleanly out of his grasp, and it fell right into Kyrnyn’s hand.
Ee’s arrows, Morwen’s rapier, my valkrie’s greatswords, and Kyrnyn’s stonewand soon rended the demon into a slashed torso of demon flesh and he fell down onto the platform below him. Morwen deftly took up his sword and Ee grabbed his body as the entire chamber began to shake and crack and fall apart around us.
Moira, just barely held on to life, so I dismissed her as Valaria and Lileth grabbed me and we all flew out of there as fast as we could. Not trusting my traveling magic within its walls, I rushed us up toward the entrance doors as fast as we could. Pieces of wall, magma, and other things flew down around us. It felt like we were going to make it. Then I saw the huge copper doors sealed above us.
Without even slowing down, I disintegrated the doors and we then all sailed up and out of the shaft onto the abyssal landscape, surrounded by demons, about to be overwhelmed. My companions all reached out and grabbed hands around me and just before we could be torn to pieces, I had a vision of home in my mind, and we all vanished from the plane.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Six – Home Sweet Home – And Coin Sweet Coin

He arrived in a lush, green meadow, a quiet place of contemplation and relaxation. A place where we could spend days musing on the meaning of life. We stayed there for about three seconds before I teleported us all to the magical consignment shop in the capitol.
“So, have you sold anything yet?”
We then looted the demon’s body, discovering rather a lot of platinum, a few items of considerable magical power, and we then added them to our consignment (after dividing them up amongst ourselves).
In the end, after our abyssal booty was sold, we all had more coin than we had ever imagined. With the addition of selling my own piece of the demon pie, I ended up with well over 100,000 coins of gold. Now I just needed to determine how best to utilize my newfound wealth.
Oh, and by the way, we saved the world.

 

[Altalazar]

Wow, it is hard to believe it has been six months since I last played Cordozo... and so now finally, another update... and it is a long one.

Book XIII

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Seven – The World is Safe – Time to Shop

I spent lots of time and money over the next few weeks. My most important acquisition, however, was not purchased with money and was not found in any store. As befitting my noble station, I acquired what no self-respecting noble would be without. A manservant. Higgins. We are a perfect match. The interview was short and to the point.
“I require a manservant, Higgins,” I asked, my mind probing his.
“Very good, sir,” he said in an accent that must have been perfected by manservants across the planes to sound something known as “brit-tish” making the “sir” sound like “suh.”
And that was that.
It also helped that Higgins was a master at his craft of serving, and could assist one with matters both magical and mundane, both arcane and divine. And despite his lack of any psionic potential he appeared to be able to read my mind, bringing me what I needed without asking.
Higgins has a remarkable mind that is found underneath his balding, somewhat shiny head. He always dresses impeccably, yet somehow always manages to never outshine whatever I might be wearing at the time. Truly, he is a cohort among manservants.
Such a person is very valuable, so I spent nearly 50,000 coins on helping outfit him with further magic for his spellbook and with a few choice items to protect his person. After all, one needs to protect one’s own. The rest of my gold I saved for what I may need later.
My final purchase was one for my mind. I found someone with powers like my own who could actually teach me powers, though at considerable cost. I learned a particularly interesting power that I look forward to trying when the moment is right.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Eight – An invitation

Early one morning, when the sun’s rays woke me before the sounds of Kyrnyn’s temple construction could, I dressed (with Higgin’s assistance) and then, with a thought, I was sitting at my reserved table at the Cusp of the Sunrise for breakfast. I waved hello to several of the regular noble patrons and they waved back, warm, practiced smiles hiding the usual jealousies, though occasionally one would represent genuine warmth. Either that or nobles were particularly practiced at fakery that was deeper than most.
I was enjoying the lovely view of the garden while I ate when a small elf came over and introduced himself as Vidry. He invited me, on behalf of Poseidon, to come see a play at Poseidon’s Palace followed by a dinner, starting at 5:30 p.m., please arrive 15 minutes early to be seated, semi-formal attire required. A royal invitation to dine with an epic master of the mind. How could I refuse?
“I accept,” I said, and then with a flick of the wrist to from my right toward the elf, “Higgins, pay the elf for his trouble.” Higgins immediately produced a small bag of platinum and offered it to the elf.
As he did so, I idly wondered if this would include an offer for employment, and so I asked Vidry, “What kind of Demon are you, then?” He looked surprised for a moment, then I explained, “Whenever someone offers I or my companions employment, they invariably turn out to be an evil demon, or at the very least a part demon (as was the case with the tiefling Tuvstarr), so I figured I might as well get that out in the open up front.”
“Nobody said anything about hiring you,” he replied, still somewhat surprised. “Poseidon said nothing to me.”
“Oh, so what kind of Demon is Poseidon?”
“He is no demon at all,” Vidry exclaimed.
“Ah, well, perhaps this really is just a social call then.”
“Yes, it is,” said the elf, “and no need to pay me, I am well compensated already for my work for Poseidon. I see no reason why you should feel inclined to give me money.”
“You obviously have no idea who I am, then,” I said, musing on my recent twenty thousand gold piece extravaganza for the city. “Perhaps Poseidon has a favorite charity we could donate it to in his name then?”
“I’m sure he would appreciate a donation to the Temple of Pelor,” Vidry replied.
“Done!” I said. “Now, what sort of play is this?” I inquired. I was particularly curious since it was my understanding that to put on a play requires payment of various permits and fees, and yet I had heard of no such legal applications being made of late, and in fact, could not recall ever seeing one for any of the plays put on by Poseidon’s followers. But then Poseidon was held in high regard as one of the “Noble 5” who saved Cauldron, so perhaps that was the reason for the courtesy.
Vidry interrupted my thoughts with his answer: “It’s a surprise.” He then took his leave and I finished my breakfast.
During the course of the day, after some light shopping, I ran into Kyrnyn and discovered that he had not been invited to see any play. When I later crossed paths with Morwen, she likewise had no invitation, but she was very curious.
“What play? Why wasn’t I invited?” she asked me.
“The invitation was delivered at the Cusp of the Sunrise, so perhaps that explains it.” I replied. “And the play itself – that is a surprise.” My information on the matter exhausted, Morwen went on about her business and I returned home to change into less formal attire to match the stated dress code. I never did run into Ee that afternoon. I found out later why.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Sixty-Nine – The Play’s the Thing – It’s Good to be the Noble

At the appointed minute, I thought about going to Poseidon’s tower, and found myself at its base. The tower was over two hundred feet high and was made entirely of ectoplasm. It was on a small island out in the midst of the newly made river that ran from the center of the crater to the rim. I walked in the entrance and found myself in a marble hall filled with statues to the noble five.
The reception specialist greeting us and then took us to a teleporter that we used to ascend to the top level of the tower. Again, marble filled my vision. There was a beautiful vista of the city laid out to the rear of the theater. My seat was between Poseidon and Vidry. Higgins took his seat somewhere several rows back.
“What play is this,” I asked Poseidon.
“This play tells the story of how I and the other members of the Noble Five traveled to the plane of Occipitus to defeat an imprisoned demonlord that was the head of the Cagewrights that infested our city. One of my followers is a playwright of some repute. Ah, here it begins.”
The curtain raised, and thus began the play. It was a good performance, though I could not help but note that the character of Poseidon in the play was really heroic. He single-handedly bribed and persuaded a demon to locate where the planar prison was and then he jumped back in time with the information, back three seconds, to avoid having to give the informant any of the money. What a wonderful loophole, I thought. I made a mental note to do legal research on contract clause enforceability when time travel is involved. I asked Poseidon for his opinion on the matter. “Is that legal?”
“It is if you can jump backwards in time three seconds,” he replied.
I somehow thought that such an argument might not impress a judge. Not unless the bribe was then transferred to him, rather mooting the whole point of the time jump in the first place. Best to settle out of court, I imagine.
The details I gleaned from the play were that the demon lord of occipitus, Adimarchus, was the one they defeated. Sounds rather familiar, I thought.
By the time the curtain fell, the applause was thunderous. I looked back and noted that every single mind here was totally devoted to Poseidon, save my own and Higgins’s. In my row alone there was a pixie named TeoBryn, as well as Vidry and several others. The director of the play, Gwaegwyn, came out and took a bow.
Gwaegwyn then came and said hello. I shook his hand, then asked him if he had made any licensing agreements for others to perform his play, and offered to help with the paperwork if he had not. He replied that he had no need.
Poseidon interjected. “If someone could put them on better than me, they are welcome to share my triumphs with others.” It was then that I noticed all of the tattoos covering Poseidon’s body, including his feet, which were bare. One tattoo seemed to cover his entire body, from what I could tell from what flesh was exposed. It did not make sense that one tattoo of power could be so large, so I asked him about it.
“Oh, I specialize in tattoos,” he said, “I can exceed the normal limits on such things. And the large tattoo, well, that’s really three large tattoos. It is very extensive.” He smiled, but said no more.
I then gave him my best, most diplomatic accolades on the play and on his role in it, both as portrayed and in actual existence. He appeared appropriately flattered, and gave gracious thanks of his own. The air was latterly dripping with sweetness by the time our exchange of flattery was complete.
After the accolades, a group of us retired to a side room where there was a feast laid out before us. I sat with about a dozen others at the meal, all of them psionically active. It was a pleasant meal. Most of them had some control over what leaked out of their minds, so for once I could enjoy the conversation without all of the usually, nasty, contrary undercurrents.
Unknown to me at the time, while I was watching a private showing as the only special guest of a premiere play and then feasting on a meal fit for a king, Ee was in the process of drowning and Morwen was facing a mortal fight of her own as well. It’s good to be the noble.





Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy – Fine Dining and Gifts

As I was sitting at the table, Poseidon offered me a gift. It was a fist-sized crystal that seemed to have an inner warmth. My mind touched it and it enveloped it and I determined that it gave me a slight boost to any power I manifested while holding it.
“Thank you for the gift,” I offered, my mouth full.
“You are welcome. You are my guest,” was his gracious reply.
During the course of the meal, I again complimented him on the play. I also offered him my diary notes if he wished to put on other plays about my exploits.
“Well, there’s always the off-season for a new play,” he said. Switching topics, he asked me, “where are you staying? I understand you are living in a tent while Kyrnyn’s temple complex is completed. Would you like to stay here instead?”
“Yes, that is right,” I said, “I’m staying in my noble tent until my own palace can be constructed.”
“What are you going to build,” he asked, his lips wet from sour cream on his potato.
“Oh, do you know the supreme judicial building for the kingdom?” I asked. “Something along those lines, only nicer and bigger.”
“That will require a lot of real estate in Cauldron,” he said as he finished off a succulent piece of ribs.
“Yes, and thus the delay,” I replied, wiping my mouth after downing a tasty slice of steak.
We continued eating and then Poseidon got to the part where we are usually hired by demons. “Want to help the King?”
I nodded politely.
“The King has a possible traitor in his midst. Baron Damon Domino is suspected of treason.”
My first thought was that there will soon be a Barony open, and I knew just the noble to fill the position. “When do you want me to mind probe him?” I asked.
“He will not likely sit still for a mind probe. But the King has been offered his customary invitation to stay with the Baron for an annual celebration. The King himself usually does not to himself, but gives the invitation to one of his nobles and his entourage. So the Baron will not be surprised if you are sent in his place.”
“When is the celebration?”
“It is in one month. The barony is about a month’s travel from here. I assume you have suitable transportation? One of my followers is about a week’s travel away. Once he arrives, he will give me a sufficiently detailed description for teleportation.”
“Perfect, and you will pass it on to me,” I asked, sipping some very expensive brandy.
“Of course,” Poseidon responded, as he finished a particularly delicious-looking bowl of soup.
Poseidon handed me the invitation with the royal seal on it. “So, are you ready to be shown to your room,” he asked me.
“Yes, just let me contact my companions,” I said as I reached my mind out to Kyrnyn.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-One – Companions in their usual trouble

After explaining the situation to Kyrnyn, I asked him if he had seen Ee. He told me that he had not seen him today. He saw his empty sleeping mat in the morning.
“He was probably kidnapped by demons,” I said. “But then it is unclear who just hired us. Was it Poseidon or the King?”
I contacted Morwen next. At first I could just hear lots of screaming in her mind. And cursing. Words not befitting a noble, but entirely appropriate for her.
“What’s going on Morwen,” I asked, curious at the colorful tirade.
All she would say was “it’s personal” before the tirade continued.
“You were kidnapped by a demon?” I asked.
“Me? No.” Colorful language followed. “Well, that happened to a … well, not technically a demon.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
I then got a few more words from her mind. “Revenge. Mom and dad. Fix this.”
“Are you going to tell me what you are talking about?”
“It’s… personal,” she said, though she need not have. “Something caught up to me that I did not anticipate. Many years. Opportunity for revenge. I’m going to kill someone.”
“Well, will it take more than a month,” I asked, “We have a job.”
Next I got from her, “bad thing, very bad thing.”
“Ok then,” I asked her, trying a different approach. “Who are we killing?”
“The man who made my face the way it is today,” Morwen replied, referring to her deep scar across her face. “And what is the job about?”
“Ok then, and our job, well, there’s a Baron, who’s a traitor. So there might be an opening. Do you need my help right now?”
“Yes,” Morwen said, and she then described her current location. Then I got an idea, but first I had to contact Ee.
Unfortunately, I was unable to contact Ee. And usually he was the clearest mind out there, at least in terms of ease of use. I asked Morwen if she had seen him and she had not. Then I turned to Poseidon.
“Do you have any way to scry?”
“Well, I do have a research lab that does have a scrying circle. Here, let me take you.”
Poseidon then led me to the teleportation circle that led to his lab. There, one of his followers handed me a large gem. “This is a scrying crystal. It will allow you to scry. We’d rather you did it because you know your friends best.”
That made sense, and so I held the gem and scried upon Ee. The circle of black fluid changed to show a view of, well, black fluid. The fluid then cleared enough to show that Ee was in the fluid, in a what looked like a leaky casket, slowly filling with water. Ee was trying to push his way out, but he had very little space to move. And Bertha II was nowhere in sight. My viewing was interrupted by a thought from Morwen.
“Uh, if you could prepare for battle, we need to go back fairly soon. There are 30 zombies and one live body to kill.” Morwen said insistently.
“Why so urgent?” I asked.
“Zombies should not exist,” she said. “They need to be destroyed.”
“I’ll meet you soon,” I said and returned my attention to Ee.
Ee was freed from his coffin by a large half-orc. At that point I suddenly was able to contact him. Ee was, as usual, eloquent.
“Thief take Bertha II.”
“Why did you get wet, Ee?”
“Me got stuck in cage. Me find thief and kill him. Me don’t have him yet but he dead.”
“Ok, Ee,” I said, “but for now, want to kill some zombies?”
Ee did not respond immediately. I saw why. He had reached the temple of Cord with his new friends. They were all chanting how they kicked butt and “Cord rules, rah rah.” Apparently they have the same sort of mentality as Ee. He finally found a deity worthy of him. I watched the High Priest of Cord offer Ee a shiny new adamantine axe. That was all Ee needed to pledge his life to Cord. And to brawling. Which was really the same thing. “Cord will guide your life from this point on,” they told him. Ee nodded and smiled as he swung the axe around his head.
“Bertha III!” Ee shouted.
“Ok Ee, if you want to help us kill zombies, go meet Morwen at the Temple of Pelor. I will join you shortly.” I then turned my mind to Morwen and told her Ee was on his way, along with a dozen friends, priests of Cord.
Morwen responded, “I do not know if the criminal mastermind with the zombies has any extra means of escape. He’ll look good with a blade in his belly.” I then heard her tell someone to stay behind at the temple, but I did not inquire why.
As I readied to leave, to teleport to Morwen’s location as indicated from scrying her, Roy, a powerful cleric of Pelor in his own right, another follower of Poseidon, offered to come along. So I grabbed his shoulder and Higgins as well and then we were standing with Morwen.
By the time we arrived at the stable where Morwen told me there were zombies, we had three extremely powerful High Priests, two of whom specialized in destroying undead, and about two dozen acolyte clerics from Cord and Pelor. Needless to say, the interior of the barn was covered with zombie dust (and not much else) by the time I got in the door. Not much else of interest as found in the barn itself, but Morwen found a trapdoor leading down. That’s usually where the trouble begins.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Two – The Trouble Begins

Before Morwen went down into the darkness, I asked her to wait.
“Higgins, magic,” I said, and then Higgins weaved several protective spells around her, hardening her skin to stone, protecting her with a floating shield, and making her vanish from sight. “He’s helpful,” I said, referring to Higgins.
Down below, we discovered a bunch of cages leading to an arena. In one cage we found six orcs, who were happy to be freed by the orcish followers of Cord. We also found a unicorn, a hill giant, two winter wolves, and an unconscious woman.
I spoke to each in their minds, and then teleported the Unicorn to his forest, the hill giant to his village, and the unconscious woman to hers (after she was conscious).
It turned out the woman was from the village of Twin Oaks, the lovely little hamlet run by a vampire not too long ago. She did not know me, but I knew the place well, and she was suitably grateful when I sent her back. Before she left, she warned us that the person who ran this awful place was tough. “She’s powerful,” she said.
“You mean he?” asked Morwen.
“No, she,” said the commoner.
After we freed the would-be gladiators, we found a room filled with crude necromantic experiments. Higgins informed me that the practitioner was but an amateur. Morwen seemed anxious. She asked me, “can you touch this objects and tell me where their owner went?”
“Well, some with my talents can do that, but I am not a specialist in that area, I’m sorry,” I replied, and it did not take a mind-reader to know that she was terribly disappointed.
Finally, we got a peek at the arena itself, and found it had large pools of blood. But we had not yet found the audience. We returned to the entry room and headed north, where we found a small tavern well-stocked with liquor, but empty of patrons. What a huge underground complex this was.
Looking over all the fine spirits, I asked Morwen if she would like a drink.
“I don’t drink,” she told me, somewhat haughtily.
Adjacent to the bar we found the seating for the audience. And there we found trouble.
Morwen went in first. As she parlayed later, she saw what looked like Tuvstarr standing in the bleachers, wearing strange clothing. Then she was covered by a prismatic sphere and then the entire complex was filled with flying teeth, cutting into us all. We had no way to penetrate the sphere, so I gathered up as many of us as I could and we teleported to the surface. Morwen grabbed Ee and one of the priests who remained and used her bracers to similar effect.
“Well, that could have gone better,” I said. “You want that drink now?” I asked Morwen.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Three – Tuvstarr Confusion

My first thought was to contact Tuvstarr and see if she was she or if she had any twins. Since her mind was presumably still shielded, I contacted one of her “children.” I informed the child about what had happened. Her first response was, “Tuvstarr doesn’t do prismatic spheres.” I wondered if that was an artistic choice or an actual limitation on her power.
Tuvstarr then soon appeared before us.
“Do you have any twins?” I asked her.
“Well actually, yes,” she said.
“Explain,” I asked. “Is your twin evil?”
“No, she’s a gentle and kind person,” Tuvstarr told me.
“Well… apparently not,” I said. “Could you get in touch with your twin to see if she’s cast any prismatic spheres lately?”
Tuvstarr then did a sending to her twin Sigrid. Apparently whatever she said satisfied Tuvstarr. It did not satisfy me. But I played along.
“I wonder who has been impersonating us?” Tuvstarr said.
“Let’s go have a look,” I said, and we all returned to the scene below.
We saw the teeth flying and so we waited until they expired, and then returned to the bleachers for the underground arena. There was no sign of either sphere nor Tuvstarr twin (triplet?).
This will bear further investigation.
I spent the remainder of the evening plying the taverns for information. I discovered that there had been rumors of an underground organization that has had gladiatorial combat, a group known as the Brawlers. I spread the word that the rumors were true and detailed where the events were held, in hopes that this would shut down any further contests. The barbarity of it all, holding such things without even inviting nobles, much less obtaining the proper legal permits nor retaining legal counsel. Such a thing simply cannot stand.
Morwen returned to the temple of Pelor to sleep. Ee drank and then went to his temple of Cord. Me, I returned to Poseidon’s offered bed. I had much to sleep on.
In the morning, a hawk flew into my bedroom, a noble bird. Attached to its leg, tied with a golden ribbon, was a beautifully illustrated color invitation. (I discovered later that my companions had received similar invitations, but theirs had all been in black and white. It’s good to be the noble). The invitation stated:

The honor of your presence is requested at the annual Demonskar Ball.
Hosted by Lord Zachary Aslaxin I
At the Coy Nixie.
Costume Required.

Looks like it was time to go shopping.

 

[Altalazar]

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Four – Preparations

The Demonskar ball was a week away. I spent a little time asking around Cauldron about the celebration, and discovered that it involved celebrating the defeat of a demon army by a hero and his army. I did not learn much else. I probably ought to have dug further, but I had other things on my mind.
Tuvstarr. Or her twin. Or her non-twin twin. I found out on the night of the ball that someone who looked like Tuvstarr but was not Tuvstarr paid a social call on Kyrnyn a week before the ball. He discovered she wasn’t Tuvstarr when he asked her to again join him for breakfast and discovered that she had never had breakfast with him in the first instance.
This only put further urgency on my plans. Higgins explained to me some things about our last encounter with the Tuvstarr twin. Then I gave him a large purse of platinum and then sent him shopping. I also talked to Kyrnyn and Morwen and gave them a few “presents.”
I had my own shopping trip to the costume shop. Apparently they sell out quickly. I was to dress as a “founder” of Cauldron. Then I received another note. This note indicated that I was actually to secretly dress as Nabthatoron, the demon leader of the demon army. Immediately, I was suspicious. Would this be a trick to turn me into a demon and then kill me? It must be. I mentally told Kyrnyn, Ee, and Morwen of my secret costume, so they would be prepared. And so they wouldn’t kill Nabthatoron at the ball.
Partway through the week, I took my companions on a day trip to the Capitol. There was better shopping there and it would also give me a chance to talk to the King and his niece. They apparently don’t let her out much. From the King and his court, I learned that the traitorous baron was ambitious. And so there were rumors that his Ambition might be as high as can be set. It was also said of him that he was not a nice person, but that he pretends well. His barony is the furthest one, which gives him the most autonomy, but also gives him the least influence. That sounded like a good deal for me. I’d rather be free to run my affairs than have constant royal meddling. In an age of magic, distance does not need to lessens one influence. It was also known that he likes to fox hunt and his yearly gathering typically includes a fox hunt. I set out to find the two best fox-hunting dogs in the whole Capitol and then I purchased them. Now I had an appropriate gift for the good baron. And something for myself as well.
Our shopping complete, we returned to Cauldron, denying a few coins to Poseidon in the process (as we need not use his teleportation circle service anymore). And then I spoke with Poseidon and received the information from his agent sent to the barony that would allow me to teleport there as well when the time comes.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Five – Coy Nixie

The night of the ball arrived. I was still busy trying to figure out what evil demons were behind this ball and how many people were going to die. I also could not help but wonder if this was another event where a small girl would turn out to be a demon who would feast on noble blood. Fifty to seventy of the elite of Cauldron would be in attendance. I would think that would qualify as quite a buffet for the discriminating noble-blood-eating demon.
The Coy Nixie was the largest, nicest venue in town. It was owned by the hosts of the ball, the Aslaxions. Also present would be the Tuskerhills and the Venderborns, two other powerful families. Of interest to me were the two adventuring companies involved. The Noble Five were invited, of course, but then there was also the Stormblades. I did not know much about them, but I was immediately suspicious of them.
Morwen dressed as a Naga Demon. Kyrnyn dressed as a general, a founder wearing a winged helm and en extravagant costume. Ee was dressed as a big red-horned demon with small black leather wings. And I came dressed as a noble general, though that costume would not remain for the final festivities as I already mentioned.
As I saw all these nobles dressed as soldiers and demons, I wondered what others would think. “Don’t worry,” I was assured by another guest, “just because we play a game where people pretend to be or kill demons doesn’t mean anyone is actually worshipping them.”
“Well truly, who would ever think we would?” I asked.
“You’d be amazed at the stupidity of some people,” this noble guest replied. Given my mind-reading talents, I actually would not be, but I did not say this aloud.
The entrance to the Coy Nixie was the site of a great spectacle as the noble guests arrived. Most came in carriages, apparently a tradition I had missed. No matter. Protecting us from death by demons is more important than silly entrances. Besides, my companions and I teleported in with a flash of smoke and fire (courtesy of Higgins). Beat that for an entrance!
As if hearing my taunt, a flying carpet drawn by demon horses came down from the sky, bearing the Noble Five. “Scene stealers,” I thought to myself. They all apparently had dates, with the possible exception of Tuvstarr. I could have sworn I heard a thought from Kyrnyn that he wanted to bring her for a date, but I shifted my focus back to important matters. Which of the guests were evil demon-vampires who were going to simultaneously hire us and betray us and then feast on the corpses of the elite?
Inside, we showed our invitations. Then we had an hour of drinks and mingling with other guests. I spent my time scanning the room for the ambush. I also made small talk with Ophelia, a noblewoman of some beauty. She seemed smitten with me, and whispered to me a nugget of information. “Don’t drink the bubbly Cauldron drink except for a mouthful for the official toast. It is very good, but extremely potent.” Ah-ha! So that’s where they would poison us all. I sent a mental message to all of my companions, passing on the warning. Even Higgins heard it. He was waiting outside in case there was trouble. I kept mentally updating him as to what was going on so he could dimension door inside at a moment’s notice. I looked around the room of bored-looking nobles for the inevitable ambush.
Then it was time for the ballroom.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Six – Ballroom Dancing I

Something else missing from my information was the importance of learning special dance steps. Though my small research put me well ahead of my companions, who did not research the ball at all.
We all lined up to go to the ballroom. We gave our invitations to the herald, who would then announce us to the room. The ballroom was certainly grand. The ceilings were high arches. Stained glass windows provided illumination from both sides. In between the windows on the right side were red banners standing for the demon armies. On the lft were gold banners standing for the knights, commoners, and robed wizards that fought for the founders.
I went through the receiving line, greeting Zachary and Margaret Aslaxion and their son, Zachary II. I only slightly winced when my name was announced. “Sir Cordozo, Knight of the Realm, of the Dragonslayers.” I was ready to kill Ee. At least the name for our group was accurate, if incomplete.
I was suitably charming when I spoke to the Aslaxions. They were apparently unimpressed with my other companions. Margaret in particular was taken with me. “At least not all of you Dragonslayers are orcs – some of you are cultured and refined.” I accepted her compliment gracefully.
Zachary II was not impressed, whispering to me, “I hope you have a fine time at the ball. I’m sure the nobles will see your true colors shining through before you depart.” So he must be the one who will try and trick everyone to attacking “Nabthatoron the demon” later tonight. I whispered back to him, “when will you be changing costumes?” I was sure he would be the one playing the leader of the founders. Of course the hosts would save that for their son. He looked at me quizzically and marched off. I found out later that the Aslaxions are not quite so generous, even with their own son.
Once we were all inside, the “demons” were sent to the demon side and the “founders” to the founder side and then the dance began. The winner of this dance was to be named “Mayor of Haunted Village.” We all danced in a figure eight. The goal was to be in the center when the music finally stopped. We all danced badly, not having had any lessons. I did the best, but I still did not win. Some noble pair I had not heard of and never saw before one. At least I was fortunate enough to have the Mayor of Cauldron as my dance partner. Jenya was even a decent dancer.
During the dance, one of the others slipped and almost fell. I caught her, but not before she damaged my costume. Thankfully, later Tuvstarr danced on by and touched my shoulder, fixing the tear with some magic. Always good to do when one’s costume is rented.
The next contest was one of singing. Needless to say, none of my companions won that one either. Someone named Anna won, as she apparently does every year. She was also a Stormblade. I would deal with her later.
Then it was time to eat.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Seven – Fine Dining, Pick your Poison, Our Foe Exposed

There were eight round tables in the dining area in the lower level. There was a ninth long table for the guests of honor. Mostly that was for the Aslaxions to “honor” themselves for throwing the party. At our own table, the furthest one back, sat the four Dragonslayers and five others.
Vordinex Wier was a retired wizard who did not say much during the meal.
Bolar Westbeg was a mapmaker. He was shy and modest and quiet for a gnome.
Gendeh Talaarna was an elderly dwarf who claimed to be an art and furniture dealer, though his conversation revealed that he knew little about either. Definitely evil, then. I watched him closely.
Delmar Blandershend was a half-orc. He looked very uncomfortable. He was also very rude. He challenged all of us to a contest of strength, but then demurred on arm wrestling and instead insisted on lifting carts of garbage in the alley. So THERE’S the demon ambush, finally. Only it turned out he couldn’t even lift the lightest cart, which Kyrnyn lifted easily, so he sheepishly came back inside and seemed to respect us more, even as he continued to boast.
Finally, there was Gwendoly and Sabastian, two semi-nobles from the outer villages who were about as snobbish as one can get without actually being banished to the elemental plane of boorishness. Morwen told me that she overheard them talking about how they were worried us unwashed masses might actually touch them and get our germs on them. Then Morwen leaned over and told Ee that they would appreciate it if he would kiss their hands. Ee, in between wiping food off his face and down his chin, grinned and eagerly did so. I’ve never heard such mental screams. I needed to clean my ears out with a napkin after that.
Our next test was the dip. Apparently there was dip in five colors. There was some sort of etiquette in which dip to eat first. Figuring that all were poisoned, I took the blue dip first, and did not eat any of it. Apparently black was first. I was too busy looking for the ambush to figure out what colors came next.
Then came the toast. Out came the bubbly red drink with white smoke. I pretended to drink that as well, using a subtle disintegrate to remove the liquid from my glass. Morwen told me it was quite tasty. I hope the poison won’t act too fast on her system.
After the toast, we noticed the Stormblades talking amongst themselves, and then two of them, Todd and Anna, left the table and headed toward the privvys. Morwen and I jumped up from the table and followed them, sure this would lead to the ambush. I got there just in time to see Anna use a scroll and make Todd vanish. Quickly, I concentrated and made my vision see true. Sure enough, Todd was still there. Even more sure, he walked back into the room and poured liquid on the food headed to our table. Then he went right up to my place and poured more liquid right over the food on my plate. Ah-ha! Demon ambush!
I quickly told the others what I saw over our mindlink. Kyrnyn was livid, and immediately told those at the table to stop eating! I had to act fast, before Kyrnyn totally spoiled my fun. Quickly, I grabbed onto Todd’s mind, utterly crushing his will with my own.
As Kyrnyn purified the food at the table and the poison in the guests there, I sent Todd a few mental commands. By the time Morwen stripped his invisibility from him with her goggles of invisibility purge, the entire room got to see Todd stripping himself of his attire. The noble guests were snickering and pointing. Kyrnyn took the opportunity to take the (now empty) vials from his person and accused him of poisoning our table. The Major escorted him off (after he dressed) and we returned to our meal. Anna was nowhere to be seen, but we told the Mayor about her complicity.
Then came the main course, a large pig on a tray carried by four servants. Then one tripped, almost spilling the boar on the ground. But never fear, Alstalster grabbed the tray in one hand and held it aloft, saving them. Surely, a distraction from another ambush waiting in the wings.
The last competition before the final showdown was a riddle, where apparently “longbow” does not suffice as an answer when “bow” will do more then well. It might as well have been for a violin. Then we moved back to the dance floor.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Eight – Final Demon Dance

The two armies of guests converged on the ballroom. Now I’m told to switch into my “other” costume. I tell my companions to be ready. Surely we’ll all be transported to the abyss to do battle with a real army of demons, fighting for our very lives and for the existence of Cauldron itself!
But no, it is just another silly dance, the steps of which I don’t know, so apparently the “demon lord” Nabthatoron is “defeated” again by the nimble dancing feet of, you guessed it, Zachary the elder. I guess he did not want to give any glory to his son. No wonder he was so unhappy to be here.
The party over, we dispersed. Apparently we made a few friends. The mapmaker told us about some secret treasure maps he would be willing to sell us. Not much else happened of note. Apparently there were no demons ready to ambush us. It was just the nobility getting to feel all superior about itself. I should have known that anything involving the elite would never involve any actual danger. Even the poison used by the Stormblades wasn’t fatal. It was just to make me clumsier for the dance competition (and to upset my stomach). What a bunch of pansies. At least Anna had the decency to slink away after the whole episode. I’ll deal with her later.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the only worthy nobles are the adventuring nobles, the nobles who have seen the world and who claw their way to their position with skill and risk of life and limb. These soft nobles know nothing of the real world. I also have learned that my adventuring days have forever altered my perceptions. I see demons and ambush around every corner. When I hear metal clanging in the streets, I turn and look for battle. I see it even in my sleep. These soft nobles, these elites, they do not know what it is to truly feel fear and face danger. They are weak. They play games with dances and clumsy potions while the real nobles are out traveling the planes, conquering real demons (after first being hired by them) and rescuing the meek.
Enough play time. It is time to claim my Barony.

 

[Altalazar]

Book XIV

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Seventy-Nine – Party’s Over, Party in the Streets, Party Reunited

After the festivities wound down, we began to walk home. I was walking with my companions and Higgins, winding through the streets of Cauldron. We decided to walk instead of just teleporting to our various destinations so we could have the chance to talk and reflect on what happened at the Demonskar Ball. Ee was particularly despondent.
“Me not like party. Me not kill anything. Me has new axe and me still has not bloodied it.”
After a few blocks of Ee’s complaints, we heard the sounds of combat ahead and to the right. Ee, before another word could be said, took off into the air and flew over the buildings to our right, presumably right into the heart of the conflict. “Me go kill! Me so happy!”
“No, wait for Higgins!” I shouted after him, but he was already over the tops of the buildings and out of sight. By the time I looked forward, I saw that Morwen and Kyrnyn had also run off, though they hadn’t quite made it around the corner.
“See what I have to deal with, Higgins?”
“Very good, suh,” was Higgins’s only reply.
At least Morwen and Kyrnyn slowed down after they apparently heard Higgins, so we caught up to them. Higgins could still not quite see everyone, so he whispered a few words of magic, and then threw a handful of diamond dust onto Morewn. Her skin instantly hardened to stone, giving her a rather severe look.
I decided it was time to practice my newly acquired discipline, and closed my eyes and began to concentrate. I visualized a creature in my mind, thirty feet tall, covered in muscle, with hardened skin and fast reflexes, able to bash with its very mind. Then I opened my eyes and saw my vision come to life, protoplasm flowing out of me and swirling around in the street ahead of me, until it solidified in a form as real as Poseidon’s tower. Amazing!
And speaking of Poseidon, I could see now that he was in the street ahead, to the right, standing next to Tuvstarr. Apparently they also took a nice stroll home from the ball. Standing in front of them was a Demodand demon and a rather fiendish-looking Minotaur. Both were standing rather closer to the pair than likely either would have enjoyed. I also saw Ee standing in the street behind the minotaur. It was then that I gave the signal to Higgins and he weaved more magic, encompassing all of us, including himself, and including my new ectoplasmic construction. Suddenly the world seemed to slow down, which I knew was an illusion of the magic: we had all sped up.
And just in time. Two more demons appeared, perhaps summoned by those before us. One appeared behind Tuvstarr, the other appeared directly in front of Higgins and I.
Fortunately, my new creation acted next. He (She? It?) swung one of its huge appendages at the best in front of me. With its naturally nimble reflexes, enhanced further by Higgins magic, its arms were a blur as it struck the demon four times in rapid succession, the last blow directly to the demon’s heart. The demon staggered, but did not fall. I took that moment to slip my mind into the demon’s, and thought back to oh those many moons ago, when I first slipped underneath the ground and left behind my lawerly life for that of an adventurer, and then squeezed as hard I could. I felt its mind utterly annihilated by my strength, and the demon fell to the ground at my feet. I looked up at Higgins and smiled.
Higgins, ever stoic, simply nodded his head imperceptibly, and then his features vanished from my sight altogether. A thick fog had enveloped us all, seemingly from nowhere. I then felt the air itself sting and burn. I could barely move my arms through the fog, it was so thick.
“Higgins!” I shouted. His only response was the weaving (or in this case, unweaving) of magic around us. In the next moment, I felt some of the fog dissolve around me, but this only revealed another layer of fog, one thicker and deadlier. What strange magic was this?
“Higgins?” I shouted.
I heard the sounds of combat for a while, but could see nothing. I hoped my creation was giving a good fight. I could sense it was still near me, but I could not see him. I mentally leaped forward to where I last saw him. Then I heard Higgins’s voice weaving further magic from behind me. As his words faded, a wind began to blow. It started as a soft breeze, but then it very quickly grew to a great roar, blowing away all of the fog all the way down the street, revealing the two demonic attackers standing right where we left them. Only now they were engaged with Morwen, Ee, and Kyrnyn, Poseidon and Tuvstarr having departed further up the street.
Unfortunately, those two demons were now uncomfortably close to me. I quickly raised my mental defenses, screening me from attack. It was then that I discovered another, more potent defense. In my mind, I imagined I was invincible, impenetrable, immovable, a veritable statue of iron. And that was what I became. I looked down and saw my arms and legs were now made of solid iron. I felt powerful, if sluggish. I felt like I could take blows that would kill an ordinary man as if they were nothing at all. I felt GOOD. I also felt my feet slowly sinking several inches into the soft ground. Apparently I was also quite heavy.
Looking back at the matter at hand, I saw that my companions were slowly killing the demons. I guess these two won’t be given the opportunity to hire us.
A huge splash of blood then hit my iron face, nearly covering me. I glanced right and noticed that it was Ee’s blood. Ee,’s massive body was nearly shredded, and he was about to fall. I opened my mouth to call for Higgins, when a bright ray of light filled my vision as it passed from my left to my right, striking Ee in the chest. Incredibly, his wounds all healed instantly. I’ve never seen someone so grievously wounded healed so quickly, and from afar. Then I turned left and saw him.
“Marcus!” I shouted, “I’ve not seen you in ages! Where have you been?”
“Well,” he said, as he send forth a flame strike from the heavens against the two beasts, “Life was a little on the slow side for a while as I did special work for my order. But it’s good to be back!”
The combat only interrupted our reunion for a few more seconds before my companions finished off the demons. Then we all gathered together to properly catch up.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty – Reunion for us and for the Noble Five

We spent some time standing in the street, the warm corpses of the demons at our feet, the demon blood running between our toes, as we caught up.
“I’m a noble now!” I told Marcus.
“How did that happen?” he asked.
“I rescued the King’s Niece!” I said, and then flashed him a shining smile, made brighter by the fact that my teeth (and mouth and face) were still made of solid iron.
Our reunion was cut short by Poseidon and Tuvstarr, who told us about a reunion of their own (after Poseidon stopped vomiting from the demon stench).
“We know those demons. Those are Cagewrights. We’ve killed them before. And we’ll have to kill them again. I think we’re due to be attacked by the beholder next,” Tuvstarr explained.
“Oh, how terrible,” I said, silently grateful that the demons we usually meet are more interested in hiring us than in attacking us and then coming back from the grave again and again to repeat the process. I idly wondered if the demons here would have offered us a job if they hadn’t been too busy attacking Poseidon and Tuvstarr.
After looting the demon corpses, we continued on our way home. I again asked Morwen if she’d like to stay with us, and as always, she said, “Thank you, no.” One of these days I’m going to figure out where she disappears to each night, no matter where we are. Maybe she’s just paranoid. But then again, given our experiences, anyone in our group who is NOT paranoid just isn’t paying attention.
I returned to Poseidon’s tower with Higgins and Ee and retired for the night.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-One – Wake up Call from the Moon

Morning brought no birds or demons, but I did get a message from Kyrnyn when I contacted him after breakfast. He told me, briefly, that Geneth the “art dealer” had sought to hire us for a job. Funny, he didn’t look like a demon. It turns out that he probably isn’t, because he is the middle-man in the deal. Geneth said that he belonged to a group of Acquirers or Collectors who are hired by others to find things. He would not say who hired him to hire us. So HIS employer is the demon. Well, at least we won’t have to deal with them directly. They often smell rather bad.
Kyrnyn further elaborated that Geneth has told him about some sort of “Temple of the Moon” that only appears every 300 years or so when some secret moon appears, and then only for a night. Apparently the temple holds a “Library of the Moon” that covers all sorts of moon-related subjects, from astrology to lycanthropy. We were offered 12,000 gold coins each for the job, which involved “borrowing” the entire library. It sounded like the hard part of this one would be the logistics of emptying an entire library in one night that may exist on another plane, or at least is not exactly easy to get to.
I had to make sure this job would not interfere with my Barony acquisition. “Will this job be done within two weeks?” I asked?
“Yes,” Kyrnyn answered. “The window of opportunity is four days from now.”
“Fantasitic. Ok, we can do the job then.”
I relayed the job offer to Ee, by mouth, and to Morwen and Marcus, by mind. Marcus at first did not know what to make of this voice in his head.
“Is that you Pelor?”
“Why no, but I’m Pelor’s duly appointed legal representative,” I replied. Marcus was not amused.
“While I appreciate the inherent goodness in humor,” he said, “I do not appreciate you impersonating someone who represents my god.”
“Aw C’mon, Marcus,” I chided him. “You’re the one who gave me the opening. It would have been criminal not to take it.” But I did promise him I would not do it again, though I’m sure he must recognize what my voice in his head sounds like now.
Just in case there were special dances we needed to learn to get into the temple, Morewn and I (and the others as well) hit the streets of Cauldron to see what information we could find about this moon temple and library. Kyrnyn went to ask Tuvstarr, though he tried to be diplomatic about it because he thought she might covet the entire library for herself. I told him not to worry about that. “At worst, perhaps she can give us a better offer.”
Kyrnyn then met with Geneth at the Cusp of the Sunrise to seal the deal. Geneth told him that our mapmaking friend would have a map we could use and that we could discern the map (and its true path) using the reflection of a moonstone that Geneth gave us. He gave us the stone when we agreed to take the job. I asked Kyrnyn, via mind, to get the full parameters of the deal.
By the time I was done, we had it clarified that we would get the entire library, defined by what was clearly visible, so that if we missed a specially hidden book or two, we would still get our full reward. (Though I wondered how they could even tell if a volume was missing). I further stipulated that the library was “as is” so that if some books were decayed or damaged, we still got the full price and it was up to Geneth’s employer to figure out how to restore them. Thus legally protected, we began our quest.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Two – One map, two map, three maps, Moon map

Our first stop was at the map-maker’s. We didn’t tell him what we were really after. Why increase the price? I talked to him and shared more tales of our adventures and asked him questions about his other maps to distract him while Kyrnyn looked through the maps with the moonstone. It did not take long for him to find what we were looking for.
I haggled down the map-maker’s initial offer of 500 gold for the map down to 125. Then I asked him about his three “genuine” treasure maps, which he offered for 500 gold each, one of which even showed an area near Cauldron. I haggled him down to 490 gold each, then paid him 500 anyway, calling the extra a “tip” and leaving him with a smile on his face to accompany my bag of 150 pieces of platinum.
The map to the Moon Temple was an old one. It showed the Demonskar to the west of Cauldron, and the river to the north of the Skar, with the temple just northeast of that, in the thick jungle. We asked around town but could not find anyone living who had been anywhere near that area. Not even Poseidon or Tuvstarr had been there. They had seen only the southernmost portion of the Demonskar.
Apparently the Paladin Alec Turval had been to that area, but he was long dead, a tragic death I’m told, and we would not be allowed to disturb his body, even if it were to attempt to raise him from the dead. His life is no more.
To make matters worse, the place was at least four days walking away, through demon-infested jungle, and we had only four days until the celestial event of the moon. Fortunately, Larch’s new noble steed was able to fly there within two days and from there, could describe for me where we could teleport there directly. Given the dangers, Kyrnyn rode the steed and Morwen donned her flying wings as well, and off they went.
While they flew, I researched the maps I bought a bit further. They seemed genuine. I wondered if the treasure was still there for any of them. But that is for another day.
At the end of the first day of Kyrnyn’s flying trip, I contacted him and Morwen so they could describe their location. Morwen was very concerned about where to sleep for the night in the dangerous jungle. I pointed out that she could sleep in Cauldron once she described the location, because I could just teleport there, then teleport them home and they could start from that same location in the morning for the second half of their trip.
“Oh,” she said sheepishly, and then I returned them to Cauldron.
The next day, they made it to an area close to our final destination. Again, I brought them home, figuring we could start fresh in the morning. Morwen told me that she saw huge beasts lurking in the thick jungle below her as she flew. Some of the beasts even flew, but none molested them on their journey.
Again we retired for the night.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Three –A fresh morning start

In the morning, we all prepared to depart. I briefly wondered if we should not wait a day, so we don’t have to be in the jungle overnight. Poseidon had been kind enough to offer to create a teleportation circle for us to the jungle so I would not have to make more than one trip to arrive there and further, so I would save my energy for the perils ahead. I did not know if he would do this for us twice, and I did not think it would take us two days to find the base of the temple, or whatever might indicate where the temple was to appear in the night after this night.
Finally, I decided that we might as well gather as much information as we could in advance of the trouble. So we entered the jungle that morning and began our search.
It did not take long for us to find something. Or rather, something found us. Two somethings. Two gargantuan somethings that had huge scales, sharp teeth, and menacing claws.
They came crashing at us through the jungle, moving faster than I would have thought something so large could move. Before we could even react, one of them ran right over Morwen, Ee, and Marcus, nearly crushing the life out of all three of them. Even worse, this left Higgins and myself standing directly underneath the claws of both of them. Higgins quickly weaved his magic to speed all of us up ,and then I grabbed his shoulder and quickly spirited him (and myself) away from the reach of the foul beasts. As I did so, one tried to bite me, narrowly missing, while the other took a good chunk out of me, nearly stunning me. But I recovered quickly, and before it could try and bite me a second time, we were gone.
Thus removed to safety, Higgins healed my grievous wound. My companions stayed where they were and quickly brought down one of the beasts, having surrounded it on three sides.
The other one quickly followed as further hacks of blades and flames from heaven brought it down to size. By the time I returned to the clearing in the jungle created by the divine fire and the falling beasts, the smell of well-cooked dinosaur filled the air. It smelled like roast chicken. Thus inspired, we ate our lunch, then we resumed searching for the temple. Hopefully we will find it soon.

 

[Altalazar]

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Four – Colossal Herd

Our search was temporarily interrupted by an earthquake. More like a herd of portable earthquakes. I had never seen such large creatures before. They dwarfed the gargantuan creatures we had just dispatched. They were, for lack of a better word, colossal. They had necks that were so long they made the trees look like short bushes and they were headed our way. Fortunately, we were (almost literally) just small ants on the ground to these creatures, so they ignored us as they left a wide path bereft of vegetation. Had we not flown out of their way, we may well have been flattened underfoot, scarcely noticed. Ee wanted to take one down, but even Ee could not eat so much meat.
While I could fly myself now (thanks to my recent transaction) Ee was kind enough to take me up to the sky with a big bear-hug. He looked at me and asked, “You want let go?”
“No, you can hold me,” I replied, and he then gave me the aforementioned bear-hug. I did not mention my own ability to fly nor did I point out the fact that, had he dropped me, I would have floated to the ground as soft as a feather.
Soon after, we found a large clearing in the jungle, one that was at least a thousand feet wide and four thousand feet long. There was no helpful sign to indicate this was indeed the place, but that would be soon rectified.
We scouted around until it started to get dark and then Kyrnyn used his divine magic to allow us all to walk on the wind back to Cauldron for the night. It was strange and exhilarating to fly over the jungle as if blown like a cloud on the wind.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Five – Errands before Moonrise

The next morning we decided to take care of errands before returning to the site of the temple at dusk. Kyrnyn researched the temple with Tuvstarr and managed to find a map showing the layout of the temple. Amazingly, it fit within a one thousand by four thousand foot space (if one included the twin temple to the Sun that lay with it). I had the feeling we would be exploring that temple on another day.
I spent most of my afternoon scouting out locations for my soon-to-be planned law library and personal palace. I know exactly where I’m going to put it. Though I suppose my plans may change if I get a Barony. Speaking of which, I noted that Baron Dominick’s Celebration was in eight days, on the summer solstice. So much to do, so little time. First I need to loot a 300 year lost moon temple, then I need to go take down and replace a baron.
Before we left for the temple, I had one last errand, which I completed, and then we returned to the site of the temple.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Six – Moons over Our Temple

It was dusk when we returned. We looked up in the sky and then finally saw what we never saw before. A second moon appeared, as if from nowhere, its dull light casting rusty shadows on the jungle floor. And then the temples appeared. Both of them. Though the sun temple was ghostly and transparent, silent translucent figures walking its heights, the moon temple was quite solid. By the time I looked up at the top of the ziggurat of the moon temple, Morwen was already almost to the top. The rest of us joined her.
But before I ascended, I took the fruits of my last errand out and planted it in the ground. For I had a large sign made in Cauldron, artistically done. Written on it was the following:
“Future site of the Secret Temple of the Moon every 300 years.”
At the summit of the temple, there were two wooden structures about the size of large chairs that were broken into pieces. There were also two large tarnished bowls. We quickly got the idea that to open the door inside (which was solid stone down a passageway at the top) we would have to reflect the light of the secret moon onto the stone.
First, we held the bowls by hand, but only managed to light up the area a little bit. Then I decided it would be easier to fix the stands.
“Higgins, mending.”
“Very good, sir.”
Unfortunately, he had only one prepared. Larch was kind enough to fix the other by shaping the wood with some druidic magic. Thus we could use the reflectors together, hands-free. Still nothing. Time to deal with the tarnish.
Kyrnyn waved his hand and magically, one of the bowls was shiny and clean, as good as new. Unfortunately, he could only do that once. We had but one night to accomplish our goals. Thus, it was Higgins to the rescue.
After a lifetime of acting as a manservant for the truly noble, Higgins was a master polisher. He carefully pulled out a strip of silky cloth with a flourish, then proceeded to polish the surface of the tarnished bowl with a skill and speed that rivaled that of the finest servants in the most lavish palaces on the planet. When he was finished, the bowl was even clearer and shinier than the bowl cleaned by magic. Higgins then returned his cloth to his person in some unspecified location with another flourish.
“The bowl is clean, sir,” he said with his usual aplomb.
When we placed the two now shiny bowls into the wooden frames, they reflected the secret moon’s light brightly into the dark hall. Immediately, the stones began to fall and a spiral staircase heading downward slowly appeared, as if the stone itself melted into the steps.
We descended into the darkness, the light of the moon dimly lighting our way before our everburning torches were brought out.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Seven – Rough Passages to Mountless Beasts

The passageways reminded Morwen of an ant hill.
“This reminds me of an anthill,” said Morewn.
The mention of ants made me think of the beasts that almost squashed us like ants in the jungle the day before. I took heart in the low ceilings for most of the passageways. We did not find much of interest down the many small dead-end passages, until we came to a turn that opened up into a rather large room. Dimly we could see what looked like the front of a temple across its expanse, but that temple would have to wait.
Morwen stepped out into the large room and then was immediately eaten by a huge beast. Its mouth came down and snatched her up, and then she was gone. Fortunately, she was not swallowed before she dimension doored herself to another corner of the room. I could hear her relief over our mindlink as she whisked herself away. Those bracers from that dragon certainly are useful.
Kyrnyn waved his hands and then he was suddenly much larger, the power of his deity giving him great size and strength.
“Higgins, haste,” I said, and he did, speeding all of us up save Morwen, who was out of his sight. I mentally prepared myself as well, increasing my personal protection with a shield of force. Ee stepped forward, not quite into the room, but into the crevice that led to the room. They tried to eat him, but could not fit within the crevice.
It was clear there were two of the huge beasts. Strangely, they wore half-plate armor and had empty saddles. I wondered how they remained alive so long, trapped in here. Perhaps when the temple was closed, it put everything in it into suspension. Or perhaps they had a food source unseen. In any case, their riders were not so lucky.
Higgins cursed them both, making it slightly easier to penetrate their thick hides. It barely helped.
I spent some time increasing my defenses, splitting my mind, and preparing to do battle with the beasts. Morwen and Ee were both nearly swallowed before Morwen finally retreated from the room with a second dimension door (of her three each day) and Ee also pulled back from the room. Larch then filled the room with three large elementals of fire to occupy the beasts while we prepared our next move.
Higgins was kind enough to grant great heroism to Morwen before we all joined hands (save Marcus and Larch) and I transported us with a thought to the opposite side of one of the beasts, putting Morwen, Ee, and Kyrnyn all within striking distance (Kyrnyn with his large arms somewhat further away). Higgins was behind me, but we were both too close to the creature for comfort, so I quickly then transported Higgins and I even further away, almost to where the temple lay. Then I began concentrating, to create rather more protection for us both.
These beasts were horrifically strong. They took wounds that would have felled all of us and kept on fighting. I sent a globe of fire into each, and while it did great harm, it barely slowed them down. Then my final protection finally sprung from the ectoplasm. A creature as large as they, formed up from the ground in front of me, between me and the second beast. I made it very strong, with fearsome claws to attack with, leaving its skin relatively soft. From the fight thus far, it was clear that armor was of little help against the razor sharp claws of these beasts.
Higgins helpfully sapped away some of the strength of the mostly unhurt one with a ray from his fingertips, but the beast still looked strong.
Finally, Ee and Morwen took down the first beast and Larch shifted his elementals to the second. My new astral ectoplasmic construction ripped into its flesh, rending it some. Then one of the fire elementals stepped forward and spewed out seeds of fire, courtesy of Larch, right into the beast’s maw. They exploded with fire, fire that would have consumed the elementals, had they not been also of fire. The beast, though hardly scratched, suddenly grasped its heart and collapsed from the shock. The smell of burnt beast flesh wafted through the large enclosed space.
On the bodies we found nothing but the saddles, their armor, and fittingly, two very large moonstones set into each of their breastplates. We then entered the temple itself.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Eight – Temple of the Moon

The first room of the temple was basically a foyer with nothing in it. The second was much more interesting. There was a sphere in the center of the room that was mostly blue, but included large swaths of green and brown. It had two smaller globes circling it. It was when I looked more closely at those globes that I saw that they looked just like the moon and secret moon in the sky! There was a glowing globe, like the sun, in the right near corner. And then the rest of the room was dark, like the night sky, and like the night sky it was filled with an assortment of stars. It was a truly beautiful sight.
The moons themselves were slowly moving around the central globe, just like they travel across the night sky. Their position seemed to match what we saw in the sky outside. Morwen and Ee quickly determined that the secret moon was moveable, though I don’t know what that means. Perhaps moving it into a certain position allows entry and egress to the temple, something which happens on its own only once every 300 years.
I was slightly worried when Ee took the moon off of its location and put it down the back of his pants.
“Ee now really moon someone!”
Fortunately, he eventually put it back, so we never found out if anything bad would have happened if he had kept it.
In a room to the left of the globe room there was a large metal ring set into the floor, but little else. To the room to the right was a room with a large, circular table holding fourteen valuable moonstones and a sign warning us to “always keep at least two.” We later determined that having at least two moonstones allows more to “grow” though if only a dozen more were there after 300 years, they don’t grow very fast. But since we also found out later that there are other ways into the temple, perhaps it wasn’t quite that long.
The next room straight ahead was a long room with mirrors covering the walls. Each mirror had a moving portrait of a globe with a moon or moons, none of which looked familiar. Beyond that, we found the library. First, all we could see were tables and chairs to sit and read the apparently unseen books. Then I concentrated and changed my vision to true vision and looked again. Ghostly shelves held ghostly books along each wall of the room.
Much fruitless attempts to get the books followed. Finally, we decided to search the complex. Morwen found a door hidden between two mirrors that led to a hall and a large room with a pool of liquid moonstones. She being more adventurous (and less wise) than the rest of us immersed herself in the liquid.
Then she found a trapdoor in the floor that led to a lever. We pulled the lever, but nothing apparently happened. As hours progressed, we searched every room and eventually found a new trapdoor to a new lever in each one, the new one visible only after the previous lever was tripped, until finally we found the last lever in the library, and when that was tripped, the books and shelves all appeared. Wonderful, now we can get out of here. Except that there are still a few tunnels left unchecked. And then there’s the pool.
Morwen finally confessed to us that something happened to her when she immersed herself in the pool, then she suggested that we all do so. I was at first dubious, then I decided that we might as well try it. Higgins decided to join me. So we all immersed ourselves. I felt no different. Then I noticed that the light seemed so much brighter. My vision was now adapted to the lesser light. Adapted to moonlight, I would think.
Further, I felt a strange connection to the secret moon. I suddenly knew that I would now be able to see the moon at all times. I also knew that I could enter the temple at all times. And this strange connection would have other effects as well that became apparent later.
With this new connection to the moon and the temple, suddenly I felt like I did not want that library emptied. But a deal’s a deal. Fortunately, there was no stipulation in our contract that the books could not be copied. Thus, I contacted Tuvstarr and told her to prepare a bunch of blank books for copying with magic when we returned.
Our time thus extended, we explored the rest of the complex. We discovered three more items of note.
First, we found a cave filled with smoke that held a man named Jack, apparently in suspension since the last time the temple appeared. He was quite motivated to find the temple. We tried to talk him into leaving, but he was uninterested. Finally, Larch held him in place with magic while I deeply probed his mind. It turned out he was a lycanthrope, of the wolf variety, who had heard that immersing himself in the pool in the temple would allow him to control his disease in the way that those born to lycanthropy can do. An interesting bit of information that turned out to be true. Feeling for his plight, we carried him to the temple and immersed him (still held) and then transported him back to civilization with us later.
Second, we found a cave that ended in a wall of invisible force that led to a moonscape. I wondered if it actually headed out onto the surface of the secret moon. That would be quite interesting. That may bear further exploration later.
And third, we found another pool of liquid moonstone. This one smelled of lotus flowers. Only Morwen tasted the waters, and then none of us decided to join her, given that the immediate effect was that it wiped her memory clean of any and all identity. Kyrnyn was later able to have one of the high priests of his temple in the Capitol perform a miracle to cure her memory loss. Apparently almost nothing else we could think of would have served to cure her.
Our explorations complete, we returned to Cauldron and made preparations for copying the books before turning them over to our employer so he or she can stock their own demon-moon library somewhere. I had some regrets now about my sign outside the temple, since now we can use it as a secret base, but then I changed my mind. Anyone who could actually survive long enough to even make it to that location probably would only brave the jungle specifically to go to the temple, which would mean that they would not need the sign to find it. Further, even if they did, unless they had been immersed in the pool, they could not enter. And finally, if they had been immersed, well, they already know where it is, so the sign stayed right where it is. Perhaps I can add another sign for the sun temple.

Sir Cordozo – Secret Journal Entry – Problems of the Mind

Morwen’s problem, and the intractability of it, reminded me of my earlier travails with my own missing memory. This is something that needs to be dealt with. I vowed to research this problem and come up with a solution of the mind that I could implement to deal with memory loss, restore it, and perhaps, prevent it. I hoped Poseidon would lend me the use of his lab, perhaps if I offered to share the research with him.
I already had a few ideas about things I could try. The first of them has already taken shape in my mind. I can visualize the inner workings of the psyche and I think I can alter them. I think I can use this to implant powers of my own in another, though it is very taxing. I offered to share this with Poseidon as well in exchange for his sharing of powers of his own. Perhaps something he knows will help me further my research.
So much to do, so little time. Next, the barony.

 

[Altalazar]

Book XV

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Eighty-Nine – Books Copied, Etiquette Learned

The Temple of the Moon library turned out to contain exactly 800 books. Tuvstarr, book addict that she is (or is that information addict?), immediately agreed to do whatever it took to help copy the books. Fabrication magic cleared out a large section of trees from the jungle, creating for us 1600 blank books. Then some other magic from Tuvstarr and from Marcus’s special reality bender, created two complete copies of the library.
One copy was returned to the shelves of the temple, the other copy was placed on Tuvstarr’s shelves in her tower/library. The originals were then delivered as promised, and our cash was exchanged.
I took all of the coins and exchanged them for additional learning from another psion, to learn the secrets of unraveling magic and psionics alike, and to learn how to toughen my own skin. I was also ready to share knowledge with Poseidon, but he was not yet ready for me. Soon.
Poseidon did share something else. Professor Palendar. Palendar was introduced to us to teach us the ways of etiquette for the Baron’s court. Baron Dominick Domino of the Barony of Devshire in the town of Thomasville. We were all schooled for the next four days, though most of it seemed lost on Ee. The professor suggested that Ee either stay in the stables or keep his mouth shut. “You could tell the Baron that he is a mute!”
“Me not mute!” Ee shouted in response.
“That is ‘I am’ not mute,” corrected the professor.
I was then privy to an extremely detailed and graphic picture of the professor having his throat torn out and made into a tassel decoration for Ee’s axe. Ee’s thoughts are always so direct. But Ee said nothing further, apparently satisfied for the moment to enjoy his own visual imagery.
Poseidon also chimed in. “Keep Ee at a distance, he’s not doing so well.” Fortunately he told me that out of Ee’s earshot.
Our last task before leaving was to make sure everyone had a proper wardrobe to wear. The professor told us that we should dress nobly, but not royally. So that ruled out most of my regular wear. I went slumming and got a few of my out-of-style formerly royal pieces to wear. They would not quite qualify as royal, but they certainly were not as crass as typical noble wear.
Poseidon was again kind enough to provide a teleportation circle for our departure, a real necessity given the size of my entourage. We left a full three days before the summer solstice, the day of the festivities, to give us time to investigate.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety – The Sights of Thomasville

We arrived in a clearing just outside the gates to the city, the perfect place to stop and study for teleportation. The city itself, and the keep above it, were circular, forming concentric rings of walls. It was difficult to tell much else from our vantage point. We spent the rest of the day walking the town and listening to what attitudes were expressed toward the Baron.
Though the Baron himself was a dwarf (as was his wife), most of the population was human, as it is in most places in the kingdom. There were a bit more dwarves than normal, but perhaps that was because of who the Baron was. What was most surprising was just how popular the Baron was. The King, a reasonable and fair ruler, was mostly considered with ambivalence by the populace at large. People appreciated his reasonable tax and governing policies, but did not generally adore him. This Baron was another matter. The people loved him. They adored him. Within his barony, he was probably the most popular baron in the entire kingdom.
A person might conclude that there really was no treason, and that the king was just jealous of this baron’s popularity, and perhaps worried it may eclipse his own. But such a person probably never went to law school. This baron’s ridiculous popularity, spread through generous entertainment and support for his subjects, just made me all the more convinced he was a conniving traitor. The more generous the ruler, the more corrupt his heart.
I found out that the baron had a cousin, a Marquis Rockmountain Goldvien and his wife Crystal, but I could not find out much more about them. And I found out that the baron “dabbles” in a lot of professions, from the clerical, to the martial, to the nimble. There was no mention of anything arcane nor psionic.
I found the most noble inn in town was the Dragon Inn. But the professor suggested that we go to the keep or else we would insult the baron by having arrived in his town and not stayed with him. Reluctantly, I agreed.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-One – The Baron’s Keep

We soon arrived at the gate. Morwen announced us to the guards, and then slowly introduced each of us. Once she reached my name, I then offered that I had been sent in the King’s place to attend the Baron’s celebrations and presented my invitation to the guard. The guard then hurriedly ran inside the gate and toward a huge amphitheatre where many preparations were taking place. One of the workers there resolved into a dwarf as he walked toward us. Working with the commoners? Yep, this must have been the baron.
“Greetings, I’m Baron Domino,” he said, confirming what I surmised. How transparently pandering he is. I assumed he would also be gracious to the point that my teeth would rot were I to taste his words. I was proved correct in that assessment as well.
“Ah, and how are you, Cordozo? I could have sworn I was told you had blue hair.” He must have thought I was Poseidon or had expected that Poseidon would be arriving in the king’s place. Suspicious that he had such intelligence information.
“A common misconception,” I replied, keeping my cards close to my chest, wanting the Baron to doubt his agent’s intelligence gathering regarding me and my entourage.
“And you, Morewn, so lovely. It is a shame I’m blessed with such a wonderful wife, or else I would be tempted to woo you for your charming beauty and grace,” the Baron said next. Turning to Kyrnyn, he asked, “And are you a druid?” perhaps spurred on by the bird on Kyrnyn’s shoulder, apparently unaware that the bird was the druid. “And those muscles must have taken forever to build up,” he said to Ee.
Ee, wisely, said nothing, though I had a lovely mental image of Ee demonstrating those muscles in a rather graphic fashion.
“Ah, and Professor Palendar, I’ve heard of you,” the baron said as the Professor graciously bowed. “Now may I get any of you anything? Refreshments? Food?”
“A tour,” I suggested.
“Ah, of course,” he replied, “but first, join us for dinner! You will have forty-five minutes to freshen up before dinner is served. None of the other guests have yet arrived, so you shall have my full attention tonight!”
The baron then bid his leave and returned to assisting the setup for the festivities.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Two – Dinner is Served

We had only a short time before dinner. Morwen asked me, “We are supposed to be looking for evidence of treason – anything specific?”
“No,” I replied, “but this is all very suspicious. He’s so popular. Nobles can get jealous, true, but no noble should be this popular without something terribly wrong being afoot. I suggest you take the time now to scout a bit so we know where to focus our investigations later.”
Morwen found, in her wanderings, only two places she could not enter. One was the guard barracks, the other was the hallway heading toward the Baron’s private rooms and administrative areas. Then it was time for dinner.
Dinner was delicious. The Baron was very gracious. I tried my best to keep my food down. The professor made sure to seat himself as far as possible from Ee. Ee, to his credit, said next to nothing, but he did start the meal by saying “watch” and then picking up a large chicken leg and walking over to the professor’s plate and slamming it down on his plate.
The Baron made small talk for the meal, and so I engaged him in a “battle of the small talk” and rolled over him like one of those large beasts in the jungle rolled over trees. We asked him about his travels. Apparently when the Baron was younger, he was an adventurer. But he still inherited his Barony. He did not win it, like I was about to do from him. We told him about Desbury, our original city home, and about Cauldron. Apparently the Baron has never visited either.
The Baron even tried to talk to Ee. Ee responded, “Him tell me no talk,” pointing at me, ending that line of inquiry.
I then told the Baron about our extra-planar travels, to the plane of shadows, to occipitus, to the plane of dreams. He was suitably impressed. He shared that he had been to the Astral Plane (which hardly counts in my book) and to Valhalla, apparently as part of some great quest.
The Baron told us the other five noble guests he expected to arrive were the Duchess of Sutherford and her husband, the Marquis of Forger and his wife, the Countess of Lockshire and her husband, Lady Glade and her husband, and Sir Peterson and his wife. Then the meal was over and the Baron retired to his room. We told him we wanted our tour now, before retiring ourselves, and he obliged.
On the way out, Ee slapped the professor “congenially” on his back. The professor then did a deft move with his fingers, grabbing Ee’s ear and dragging him some distance. Ee could probably have snapped the professor’s neck, but since Ee never went to school, he was unfamiliar with the maneuver and so mostly out of surprise, did nothing.
Our tour took us to the Gardens in the center of the keep, as well as past the barracks, the servant’s quarters, and even near the Baron’s chambers. Something Morwen noticed as we went was the rather large number of men-at-arms in the corridors, all on an impeccable, orderly, yet still random, schedule of guard duty. Far more than should be expected. A person may just assume it was increased security for the festivities. But I smelled treason in the air.
The tour over, we retired to our rooms. I heard a collective gasp from the minds of all of my companions.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Three – After Dinner, Time for Dessert

When I opened the door to my lavish guest room, I saw a lovely young chambermaid waiting for me in my room holding a bed warmer.
“I’m Crystal.”
“Of course you are.”
It turned out that she was much more than that. From our rather “close proximity” that evening, I discerned that she was a telepath in her own right, though only barely awakened. She had never met another like me before. It seemed rather too big a coincidence that a servant telepath-psion would find herself in my room. She denied that the Baron put her up to anything beyond providing a warm blanket and a clean room. I guess the rest was gratis. Still, I mind probed her very deeply, something she rather enjoyed (leading me to wonder if, as a telepath, the only true mate is another telepath), and could discern nothing but truth in her with regards to her actions toward me. Perhaps this is a relationship that will go somewhere.
Oh, and the collective gasp I heard before was from Ee, finding Maxine in his room, Morwen finding Fedaro in her room, Higgins finding Marcella in his room, and even the professor had a surprise guest in his. Now I know why the professor was so insistent on us staying in the keep. What a dirty old man.
Ee’s thoughts were hard to keep out. Maxine offered him a bath, and did a very thorough job. I suspected it had more to do with Ee’s hygiene than anything else, particularly when she anointed him with fragrant oils afterwards. Once he had returned to his senses, I asked him via mindlink if he was doing ok. His only response, “Get the bath! Get the bath!”
The professor’s mind was equally befuddled. The last thought I gleaned from him was as he opened his door and saw the woman waiting there for him: “Me like,” and then “damn it, now you have me doing it, Ee!” The rest was too disturbing to think of.
When I checked on Higgins, I merely told him, “Ee suggests a bath.”
“Very good, sir,” was his only response.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Four – The Morning After

We all rejoined the Baron for breakfast the following morning. Well, all of us but Ee. I’m not sure I’ve seen Ee again since dinner of that first night at the Baron’s. Though there was an incident in the garden I heard about involving one of the servants, Maxine, flying up and around the garden naked while the sounds of Ee’s voice could be heard laughing and trailing behind her while she laughed back.
None of our “guests” from the night before joined us at breakfast. I could tell from the Professor’s mind that he missed his companion from the night, but that he knew that it would be horribly improper etiquette to bring servants to the noble’s table. So perhaps this Baron is not such a ‘dwarf-of-the-people’ after all, if his servants are treated second-class. I certainly don’t treat Higgins that way.
The Baron told us that there would be fights in the arena between challengers and a flesh, clay, and iron golems that they have for the event. There would also be a huge ceremonial changing of the guard, all in shiny armor.
After breakfast, I told to Morwen, through our mindlink, that she should look in the Baron’s wing today. I also told her about Crystal and her mind abilities.
“Are you sure you should be sharing information with her about your abilities?” Morwen asked me.
“I shared a whole lot more than that with her last night,” I replied. Morwen did not pry further.
Morwen then met me in Higgin’s room, where Higgins made her invisible right before she teleported herself to the hallway outside the Baron’s chambers. She was gone a short while and then we heard an alarm coming from that wing of the keep, just as Morwen dimension doored back to Higgin’s room. She had not found anything of note in her short time there. We would have to go back. Morwen was concerned about the alarm. I said, “don’t worry about it – let them puzzle over it for now.”
Then I quickly traveled myself back to Cauldron to retrieve my two hunting dogs and then came back to my room. I put the dogs in the Baron’s kennels for the hunt the next day.
At dinner, I asked the Baron about the alarm. He said there had been an intruder in his area and so now the soldiers would be higher density. I expressed the appropriate amount of alarm at the intrusion.
Ee, who did actually show up briefly for dinner to take back to his room, offered to help. “Me help stand guard.”
The Baron declined, but did say that if we heard an alarm, we should “run to the front door.” Perhaps we could use that to our advantage later.
The Baron certainly seemed overly obsessed with the military organization of his keep. But we had really not uncovered anything useful. We had not even found the demon here yet.
Later that night, I had Crystal point out to me where the servants were who cleaned the Baron’s war room and personal quarters. I then paid them a visit and dominated them both, their simple minds no match for my own. I gave them simple instructions. They were to report to me a detailed account of the layout of the rooms and they were to keep an eye open for anything out of place or out of the ordinary to report to me later. Unfortunately, they noticed nothing. On the plus side, the domination would last for over a month, and so I may find further use for these servants.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Five – Fox Hunt

The time of the fox hunt arrived. I gave the Baron my gift of the excellent pedigree hunting dog. He loved it, as I knew he would. I took the other dog I bought and used him in the hunt for myself. The Baron was quite enthusiastic about the whole thing. We hunted for the afternoon and I pried more out of the Baron.
He told me that he had a very competent Captain of the Guard named Hans. He told me that his city was a planned city that he hoped to grow in size as trade grew. Apparently trade was the primary commodity here, out on the border of the kingdom. I asked him about trouble with monsters and demons here.
“There are no demons here,” said the Baron in response. “And when we do have trouble with monsters, we just let adventurers take care of it. I find that when you actually ask for their help, they demand money and such up front, but when you just leave the whole issue alone, adventurers show up anyway. Thus, it is cheaper just not to do anything, but to make sure that the taverns are full of information about the local monster activity.”
“So, no demons then,” I asked again.
“No, no demons. When was the last time you killed a demon?” he asked.
“About a week ago,” I told him, thinking of the return trip from the Demonskar Ball. “That is if you count not only the real demons but also a fiendish minotaur.”
Our conversation was interrupted by the Baron making the killing shot on the fox. My gift dog did well for him, but it was one of his old-timers that did the job best for him.
I heard in my mind Morwen’s silent protest. “Poor fox, what did it ever do to deserve this? I’d rather hunt demons.”
I replied to her, “How do you know it was not a demon fox?”
“I’d recognize a demon fox,” she said.
“True enough,” I conceded. “It would have tried to hire us.”
The hunt over, we retired to our rooms for the last night before the big day.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Six – Dinner, then Alarms

At this dinner, the Countess of Lockshire, Penelope and her husband, Stewart, the Earl, joined us for dinner. The other nobles had yet to arrive, and so presumably would be arriving tomorrow. I regaled them all with my stories of adventure, inside the courtroom and out, again running triumphant over the Baron’s feeble attempt to be the center of graciousness and small-talk for the night.
Then the real fun began. I spent the night again with Crystal, but excused myself to Higgins’s room (with a thought), finding him under cover there. I asked him to ask his guest to stay under the covers for a moment while we attended to some business in the other room.
I summoned Moira and then had Higgins cloak her from view before sending her off to the Baron’s hall. It took two tries since she could not teleport directly into his military planning room. Several minutes later, the alarm sounded again. Through the mindlink, she told me that the guards were in the room searching for her. She also told me that from what she could discern, the Baron had mobilized at least 2,000 to 5,000 troops just based on what was in that room and in the open. Curious. Before the guards could find her, I dismissed her, and so she vanished before she could be detected.
I then contacted the King’s Niece’s mind, all the way back in the capitol. It took a few moments for her to awaken from her slumber. I asked her to find out for me in the morning, if she could, what she could about the known military disposition of the Baron. How many soldiers could he raise. How many would he normally have mobilized. She said she knew some fetching young soldiers in the guard who knew about such things and that she could ask. I thanked her and bid her good night.
I spent the rest of the night with Crystal, thinking up what we could do for our final day here. That alarm was dreadfully annoying. It would make it hard to find anything of consequence without really being detected. Then a plan began to form. Perhaps detection would not be a bad thing after all. I would have to share my plan with the others.
In the morning, the King’s Niece reported back to me. Apparently the Baron could raise, at most, 10,000 troops, but that would be a full mobilization. Under normal circumstances, he should not have more than 1,000 troops at the ready. Now it sounds like we are getting somewhere. Time to implement plan L.


[Meta-gaming note I just HAD to mention - the two big Diplomacy rolls thus far were at dinner on the first and third nights - apparently the Baron has quite a high score there, too. Fortunately, we all have a bonus for the tutoring of the professor for this particular event (+6) so that helps. I just wanted to brag... both of those times I had to do the roll, i rolled, you guessed it, a natural 20, taking my modified Diplomacy score to 61 each time. Eat my dust, Baron! (for reference, I'm a diplomacy centered character here and now 17th level Telepath-Psion)]

 

[Altalazar]

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Seven – Flies on the Wall

Ok, so maybe plan ‘L’ wasn’t that great of a plan, but I was pressed for time and I was looking for something creative. Surely, summoning Moira, changing her into a Leprechaun, and then setting her loose in the military planning room to be discovered by the guards, wagging her finger at the guards while screaming that “they’ll never find me pot’o’gold!” would be worth a diversion. It would even explain the earlier alarms! Then the “leprechaun” could dance a nice jig to some leprechaun-like folk music, then vanish, leaving the guards scratching their heads. Isn’t that worth throwing off suspicion from our entourage? But alas, it was not to be.
Plan ‘B’ was simply to have Higgins transform Morwen and Larch into common flies, then send them in through a window, invisible, to search the planning rooms and the Baron’s room before the crack of dawn (and actually before I heard back from the King’s niece). Higgins did his magic and off they went.
Upon returning, Morwen and Larch reported finding nothing much of interest in the administrative rooms, but that they discovered a hidden hinge in a desktop in the Baron’s sleeping chamber. Unfortunately, as flies, they could not lift it, and they did not want to risk changing to something else and waking up the Baron and his wife. On top of that, the Baron had a large iron golem standing watch at the foot of his bed, presumably ready to alert him to any intruders. This would present a problem. I never remembered seeing any golems walking about the Baron’s keep, so that must mean the golem usually stayed inside his room all day.
Then we saw the itinerary for the day’s festivities. In the middle of the day there was the combat competition. Anyone could challenge. The opponents? A flesh, clay, and iron golem. If the Baron had only one, that meant the golem would be out of his room during the competition. Perfect chance to strike, assuming that nothing else takes his place.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Eight – Morning Festivities

Morning started with a huge breakfast. We also saw the entire community slowly filing through the gates to join in the festivities. The guards were doubled and there were guards preventing access to the keep for the non-nobles. Ah-ha! I knew this whole “dwarf-of-the-people” persona was nonsense! If he truly was such a person, he would have given his “people” free access to the keep, the same as the nobles. Such a transparent persona! When I take over the Barony, my persona will be far more opaque!
After breakfast was the ceremonial changing of the guard. It took way way longer than it seemed like it should. I’ve never seen so much ceremony crammed into so many minor moves and functions. Those military types must really be addicted to formal ritual. They’re worse than lawyers! Even the Baron got in on the action. The only interesting part of it was the very beautiful, shined up armor, of a type that you’d never see worn in actual battle. I’d seen armor in King’s display cases that weren’t as shiny as the armor on display this day. This Baron is quite the militaristic little dwarf.
Then game the jugglers and minstrels, including a minstrel who put on something called “the Ded Bob show” that was a crowd favorite among the rabble. They all seemed to know the entire routine by heart and shouted along.
That fun was then followed by more militarism as a mock military attack on the keep was done. Apparently the Baron relies on heavy archers on the walls. Of course, the keep wins in the mock attack. I studied the Baron’s tactics for later use when I’d be assaulting his keep.
The farm competition was next. I did not pay much attention to this, but I did determine that there was a great bounty for each winner. For instance, if your cow won best cow, then all of your cattle were exempt from taxation for the entire year. Competition was intense. It would have been interesting to know all of the treachery and scheming going on between cutthroat farmers. If only I had time to probe all of their minds. But I had other, more pressing concerns.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter One-Hundred Ninety-Nine – More Flies with Lunch

As lunch began, we all headed back to our rooms to change to our second set of attire for the day. That was when we saw the golems being escorted to the arena. This was the time to strike. We met in my room, ostensibly to change, and then I had Higgins again make Morwen and Larch into invisible flies. They wasted no time and headed straight for the Baron’s chamber.
Only a few minutes passed before I heard Morwen’s voice in my head over the mindlink. “Cordozo, can you do something about the guard they left in here?”
Damn. At least it was an ordinary guard, not a mindless golem, mostly immune to my special talents. “Yes, I will have to come personally. Just wait a moment.” I quickly raised my defenses, split my mind, and had Higgins make me invisible in the improved sense before, with a thought, making myself appear in mid-air forty feet away from the Baron’s bedroom window. I quickly flew over and peered inside.
Through the glass, I could see a single guard standing by the door, watching the room. I quickly reached out my mind to his, and then carefully erased my existence from his awareness.
Thus erased, I slipped inside (after Morwen helpfully unlatched the window) undetected. The desk would be another matter. There were books and a pen and inkwell on top of the desk, so if I lifted the hinged top, those would fall, and if I lifted it too far, in any case, the guard might notice despite my mental intervention.
Finally, with Larch’s help, I lifted the top of the desk ever so slightly while holding the books in place and then Morwen flew inside the gap. Hidden in there, wedged between the false top of the desk and the desk surface was a folded up piece of cloth. Morwen the fly could not budge it, and so she flew out and changed her form. Morwen the human handed me a pair of tweezers to use. I carefully pulled the cloth out from the desk, then lowered to false top. We then all exited to the balcony.
I recognized the cloth. It was similar to what we used to move the Temple of the Moon Library. It was a portable hole. Unfortunately, we could not open it on the balcony. We needed solid ground. Having already made the mental connection, I gathered up Morwen and Larch and then we all found ourselves standing outside the Temple of the Moon, in the shadow of a large, familiar looking sign proclaiming we were on the site of the secret moon temple.
I carefully laid the portable hole upon the ground (after Morwen studied it to make sure we could return it to its previously folded state without tipping off the Baron). Inside was nothing except for a single piece of parchment. Written on it was a short piece of text that appeared to be some sort of code. I handed it to Morwen and she attempted to decipher it, but was unable to. My thoughts turned to Tuvstarr and I was about to attempt to contact her when I remembered: Higgins.
“Higgins, I need you. Come here,” I said to him through the mindlink.
“Very good, sir,” he said.
“No, wait!” I said. “I’ll come to you.” And then with a thought, I was standing in my room at the Baron’s keep with Higgins at my side. “Can you decipher this?”
“Very good, sir” he said, and he sat down and quickly read through it. “Yes, I can,” he said.
“Quickly, write it all down in common so we can return this paper back to where we found it,” I said and handed him some paper and a pen from my own ample supply.
Within two minutes he had completed his copy, and I quickly scanned it before teleporting back to the Temple of the Moon so Morwen could return the paper to the portable hole, fold it how it was, and then we returned to the Baron’s bedroom, through the window, and placed the portable hole back in the desk where we found it. The guard did not appear to notice us.
We then returned to our rooms and dressed for the afternoon’s festivities. Soon, this Barony will be mine! As I dressed, I took the time to carefully read what Higgins had deciphered from the writing:

“Dear Baron Domino,
All is going as planned – the King will be surprised. I am a little concerned about the R. If he can do what he said it will help out more than he knows. If he can not then we may have to wait until next year. Currently, to stay on schedule more funds are needed, please send gold.
I am at the Haunted Village location.
- Vasscas”

Interesting. I wonder who Vasscas is. And I recall the Haunted Village from its mention at the Demonskar Ball. It is a place of undead outside of Cauldron. We’ll probably be heading there next, but first we must meet with the King. But only after the festivities are over. I resolved that we would leave when most of the other nobles leave, the next day.
At this point, I was feeling strangely relaxed. We had what we needed here. Soon this Barony would be mine! It must be mine! I felt strangely relaxed and at peace as I thought of this. Which is probably why I did what I did next.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred – I get dirtier than I have ever been

After lunch, the first event was the log toss. Kyrnyn jumped right into it, lifting up a log with an impressive show of strength, but timing it wrong, and sending it flying end over end far up into the air, but not very far down the field, going no more than three feet. It apparently is a sport more of timing than brute strength. I began to watch the really good throwers carefully. Then I did the unexpected. I decided to play.
My muscles are about as strong as your average bookkeeper. I could barely lift the log. But I hefted it carefully, and timed it as exactly as I could, and then let it loose. I was probably the weakest man on the field. But I must have timed it right. The log went exactly twelve feet, the minimum required to advance to the next round. I could see Kyrnyn fuming about this. Though he need not have fumed long. I barely lifted the log off the ground for round two, and was eliminated.
The next event was the log rolling contest. It required rolling on a log on the water with another competitor, and whomever fell off first was the loser. Morwen and I both carefully studied the field before jumping onto our respective logs. I expected to get very wet. Instead, Morwen, nimble of foot, caught a toe on a knot in the wood and fell into the water ahead of her competitor. And somehow, despite my natural clumsiness (barely offset by my weakly magic gloves), I managed to stay on my log and I won against my competitor. Morwen was also disappointed to see me win over her, but she did not fume like Krynyn.
Kyrnyn would take out his frustrations in the next event. The golem fight.
Kyrnyn again went first. The event was watched carefully by the judges to avoid a challenger’s death and also to avoid destruction of a golem. If it seemed either was apparent within a set period of time, they would call the match and declare a winner. They did not need to watch long with Kyrnyn. Kyrnyn weaved his magic and made himself large and strong, in the image of his god. The iron golem lumbered forward and Kyrnyn, lighting fast, struck four blows, grievously damaging it. The golem struck back two blows of its own, but it was already over. Kyrnyn had done so much so fast to the golem that they called the match almost immediately. Kyrnyn had prevailed!
Next to go was Ee. He hefted his axe. He also was quite large in stature, courtesy of Higgins some hours prior to the match. It took Ee only two series of swings with his axe to fell his golem (really the same golem – they repaired them in between competitors). Again, an impressive showing.
After watching them, I could not resist. Though I had never faced anything in battle with my own two hands, or even with a weapon, that wasn’t already helpless, it was a challenging prospect. I decided not to use anything but my hands, making it a true contest of brawn.
Before I stepped into the ring, I maximized all of my protections and had Higgins provide for me his shield as well, hovering hands-free near me. Then I charged the golem. I was as slow as it was, since I had also made my form look remarkably similar to its own. I changed myself to solid adamantine iron, and advanced upon the golem.
Incredibly, I managed to dodge most of its blows as its fists slammed against my many protections. Unfortunately, I was never able to connect with my own fists on the golem. So eventually, it wore me down, though I stood toe to toe with it for probably longer than any other opponent of the day, nearly a full minute, before they called it. It was disappointing not to win, but it was strangely satisfying to stand toe-to-toe with the monstrosity and hold my own for so long. I never would have guessed that the prospect of attaining a Barony would find me so invigorated and relaxed.
The last event was a tug of war between two halves of the village. None of us chose to participate. I returned to my room to clean up and change for dinner. I looked forward to a good meal and to the fireworks afterwards.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred One – Dinner is Served

There was a play before dinner that was very familiar. It was a shortened form of the play I recently saw in Cauldron, courtesy of Poseidon. As I saw the blue-haired hero of the play save the day from demons yet again, I wondered if the Baron would catch on regarding the lack of blue in my own hair. Or perhaps he would just decide that someone confused the play costume for reality.
After the play, dinner was served. This was for nobles only. The commoners were slowly filing out as the play ended, their day over. For the nobles, the maneuvering had just begun. I spent quite a lot of time talking to and impressing nobles from across the Kingdom. Judging from their thoughts, I succeeded. I hope the King will be pleased that the nobility thought me an appropriate representative in his absence.
As I ate, I noticed Morwen with an accessory I don’t remember seeing her have before: a date. His name was Fredolo and he seemed rather smitten with Morwen. Morwen herself was dressed up rather fine, something else I was also not used to seeing. Only later did I realize that Ee was not in immediate attendance.
Crystal was kind enough to accompany me to dinner. Higgins brought his companion as well. I think he likes her, though it is hard to tell because the corners of his mouth never waver from servant-neutral. I wonder if there is special training for that sort of thing. I have thus far resisted the temptation to ask him (or probe his mind for that matter).
After the dinner was the dance. I managed to repeat my Demonskar performance – I was terrible. I will have to take more formal dancing lessons. As the music wound down, and the fireworks reached their crescendo, I heard Ee’s voice in my head.
“Cordozo, this me, Ee.”
“Yes?” I replied, wondering just what he was up to.
“Can you turn invisible?” he asked me, explaining that “Me fly has disappeared during fireworks.”
I thought for a moment, then understood what he was talking about. He worse his Celestial Armor to dinner. I know he can fly with it, but only for a short time. Now he must have flown Maxine, his own date, with it to impress her. He was sitting with her on the roof of the keep, watching the fireworks. But now he had no way to get her down. He wanted my help, but he did not want Maxine to know that I had offered it.
Ee’s voice came again, insistent. “Me no fly anymore!”
“Ok, Ee,” I said, “I will be there shortly.” As I approached, I asked Ee what direction she was facing so I could approach from behind. As I got closer, I quickly slipped my mind into hers and erased my existence from her perception. Then I placed my hand on her shoulder and his and asked Ee to ask her to prepare to allow herself to be transported.
“Ee say thank you!” and he did. And then I transported all of us down to the ground before returning to the festivities to say my goodbyes. As I departed, I could hear him explaining to Maxine that “Ee can do lots things!”
Crystal joined me and then I retired. I slept well that night. Eventually.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred Two – We Depart, Then I Arrive

The next day is when most of the nobles departed. We left with the pack. I took my leave of the Baron. Very Sincerely, I told him that I “Look forward to visiting again soon,” leaving unsaid exactly what made me so eager to return.
“Such wonderful representatives,” said the Baron of us, his words dripping with sweetness as always. I looked forward to those sweet words turning bitter in his mouth. I silently hoped that he would take good care of my Barony while I will be absent.
I prepared to take several trips back to Cauldron to bring everyone home. It seemed that almost everyone had a new companion. Except for Marcus. And surprisingly, Ee.
“Ee love ‘em and leave ‘em,” said Ee when I asked him if he wanted to bring Maxine. I could tell she was already hugely disappointed. She was dripping with grief at the thought of being left behind. She was heartbroken.
After my first trip back with Ee and others, I returned to talk to Maxine.
“Don’t worry,” I told her, “Ee is just playing hard to get. Would you like to come to Cauldron? I can transport you there, but you need to stay away from Ee for a few days or weeks and you can’t tell him I brought you.”
Her eyes lit up at this prospect and she quickly agreed. I gave her 100 gold coins to sustain her in the meanwhile.
Also left unfinished was my business with the two servants whose minds were now totally under my dominion. I determined that they were paid close to one gold coin per day, making them very well paid servants. It would be a problem if their domination wore off and then they reported to the Baron what happened. I decided I needed to prepare a special spell, a spell known only to lawyers, known as “the better offer.” But I have a month to make the final arrangements on that.
Crystal also accompanied me home. Though I had head of such things, I had never thought to have one. Now I have a psion-Crystal.
With everyone home in Cauldron, I then transported myself and Higgins to the Capitol to inform the King of our discovery.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred Three – Royal Welcome

I told the King about the note, giving him a copy. I also told him about the troop build ups. King that he was, he took it all ambiguously.
“The note is alarming, but could be benign. For all I know it is a surprise birthday gift they are arranging, not a coup. And the troops. Five thousand is a serious problem. But if it is only two thousand, that might not indicate any problem at all.”
I heard it in his mind before he even said it.
“Go and investigate the note. Go to the Haunted Village. Find this Vasscas. Use appropriate discretion.”
My heart was beating fast in my chest. So close. So close to my own real noble title and real grant of land. I quickly took my leave and transported myself and Higgins back to Cauldron.
I turned to Higgins. “Now what can you tell me about this Haunted Village?”

 

[Altalazar]

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred Four – Shopping and Research

I was eager to get my Barony, but I had some business to attend to first. I started my research on my ultimate mind protection project. It probably will take two months worth of research, at least, before it will bear fruit, but I wanted to get started. I decided to only spend a week on it before investigating the Haunted Village in person.
Ee, Kyrnyn, and Morwen took the time to travel to the Capitol to shop for magic of various sorts. I could tell Kyrnyn was particularly proud of a blade dedicated to Hieroneous that he acquired there.
I also did some research on the Haunted Village. Apparently, only “professionals” go there during the day and only fools would go there at night. I suspect we are going to be following the “fools” path because it seems inevitable that the only way to solve anything is to go that route. It turned out that this was the only route available anyway. To facilitate our foolishness, I went to our resident map dealer and found he had a rough map of the village for a mere 5 gold pieces. So I paid him 10 and took the map.
I decided to ask the professor if there was any “Haunted Village” ettiqute we needed to learn, like for instance some special dance. I was tired of being unprepared for dances. He indicated that there was not any special “ghost dance.” He then offered that the village was a place for fools. Ee then offered his thoughts.
“Me afraid of ghosts.”
“It still speaks!” said the professor. “I thought you had that taken care of!”
I quickly ushered Ee away from the professor, and so the professor managed to keep his head for another day.
Oh,and I also learned that no one can teleport within the limits of the village or near it. This left us with several options. We chose to walk. Three days of walking through the forest just might be enjoyable.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred Five – A Stroll Through the Woods

I was right. After traveling the planes, killing (and working for) demons, working for (and killing) demons, spying on treasonous Barons, saving the world, and dealing with rather boorish dinner parties, the walk through the woods really was relaxing. On the first day, we were beset on by orcs. Dozens of them. Vile, snarling creatures, they advanced on us menacingly. Now there are several dozen less orcs to trouble the world.
The first night went without incident. We were still far away from the village so we slept out under the stars. Larch hunted for us and Higgins prepared a four course meal out of it, serving us on fine silver that I had no idea he had carried with him (and still don’t see how he could have).
The second day, several dozen goblins ambushed us. Or rather, they tried to. They proved smarter, at least, than the orcs. Most of them ran away screaming before we removed them from our plane of existence. The second night was also without incident.
The third day, Larch could not find as much food as he could before, so Ee contributed, and then we all ate very well. We got within a quarter of an hour’s walk from the village. I decided it was prudent that we spend the night a bit further away, an hour’s walk from the village. Higgins was kind enough to set up his Leomund’s hut for us to sleep in. Morwen and Larch scouted ahead.
Morwen and Larch did not see much worth reporting. By the time they returned, it was nightfall. Then they saw quite a bit. As did we all in the hut. Lumbering zombies filled the woods, seeming to come from nowhere. None wandered our way, but many wandered by. Morwen was able to slip in while invisible. Larch was a bat, so was paid no mind. Ee almost smashed Larch as he flew into the hut.
“Oh, me sorry Larch, me thought you big bug!”
Then we retired for the night. As the sun came up in the sky in the morning, the zombies all slowly faded away.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred Six – Nothing for Professionals to Do

The next morning, we went to the village. We discovered a lot of buildings that were nothing more than foundations. We found a rotting bridge over a small river. And we discovered lots and lots of footprints. But nothing much else. No signs of life. No signs of unlife, either. Beyond the footprints. I started to suspect that “professionals” had nothing much to do during the day here. We would have to come back at night.
One other thing we found was two freshly dug, then filled in tunnels through the ground. One led 300 feet to the north of the village, one led 500 feet to the south. Larch excavated both with earth elementals. We really did not learn much else.
Morwen discovered two labeled, but empty, sarcophaguses in what remained of a mausoleum. One was for Willington I, one was for Dartha Bennet. I never heard of either, though I did know a law partnership to include a Willington once.
We returned to our hut and rested for the rest of the day and most of the night. Then, two hours before dawn, we set out for the village in the dark. I mentally prepared myself for what lay ahead. Higgins handed me a warm towel and a cup of steaming hot coffee. Thank you, Higgins.

Sir Cordozo – Chapter Two-Hundred Seven – Wraiths. Dread Wraiths. And walkers of the night while we walk.

We did not walk far before ghostly hands reached up from within the ground and tried to grasp at us. There was one hand for each of us, and Higgins narrowly avoided being grasped. My own protections made them have extreme difficulty touching me. Higgins quickly sped all of us up and the battle was joined.
Marcus held aloft his holy symbol and began to turn the foul creatures to wispy dust, one by one. I crushed the ego of the one on Higgins. Ee, Morwen, and Krynyn made quick work of the rest. Ee’s axe would often pass right through them, but Morwen’s and Krynyn’s blades never failed to strike true. Both seemed to have a ghostly glow about them. I guess they made sure they came prepared for this village.
Not wanting to get caught from the ground again, we took to the air and headed toward the village, which lay now only 250 or so feet away. Higgins quickly healed himself and Morwen of the horrible, draining touch of the wraiths. Still moving unnaturally fast, we traveled almost half of the distance to the village when two huge humanoid creatures appeared in front of us and behind us, sending forth lots of evil, foul magic against us. Fortunatley, none of it had any immediate effect that I noticed, but I was somewhat distracted.
Kyrnyn charged forward against the one in front. Before he could close, the creature grabbed his new blade from his hand and then crushed it to dust. I could hear Kyrnyn’s mental scream, a scream that I would have expected from Ee had Ee lost his axe (yet again). Kyrnyn whipped out his stoneblade and attacked the undead beast, seeming not to care now if he lived or died. Reading his thoughts, I could see that he thought he had failed his god, and now wished to redeem himself. I saw images of an Ettin swimming around in his single head.
Ee fared better at our rear. He kept his hold on his axe, and managed to strike a few blows on the creature to our rear. Morwen joined Krynyn at the front, and the battle was joined.
Higgins blessed one of his two shields and then enchanted it for Morwen. It flew to cover her, leaving her hands free for the fight. Higgins then turned his attention to the beast in front. He weaved his magic and then sent forth a wave of energy. It struck the front beast’s hide. The hide itself began to peel and crack, become as brittle as frozen glass, sharp shards sticking out every which way. Each blow against the beast now seemed to slice these shards deeply into its flesh, wounding it grieviously.
“Use your silver!” Higgins shouted.
I thought of my silver dagger, then felt better of it. I send forth a ray of disintegration against the beast to the rear. He shrugged it off, but not before losing the proverbial pound of flesh. I hit him with it once more as he sent an attack of his own my way. I easily shrugged off his magic, though I was curious what it was I just avoided.
Higgins noted that both beasts were hard to find purchase with axes and swords, and so he prepared his curse to help. Despite there being only an hour left until dawn, it was clear it was going to be a long night.