Men, women, insecurity & alcohol [** NEW UPDATE, DEC 2005 **]

[ssampier]

reading this thread is like a good train-wreck; can't help but watch anyway.

 

[Desdichado]

Oh, I don't think she's crazy, she's just not interested in glass, and doesn't have the guts to tell him so frankly. That's not a unique or crazy reaction; sadly, it's a very common one. It's sad, because men tend to not think that way, and when women think they've made something very clear, men tend to not have picked up on it at all. It is the root of much of the miscommunication between men and women--even going the other way. There were plenty of girls who expressed "clear" interest in me when I was younger that I only recognized after I was married and a little more experienced in deciphering the subtle enigma that is female communication (not to sound like I'm bragging; I got shot down plenty too...) glass is ahead of the game because he knows what's really going on now and can quit wasting his time on being anything other than a slightly friendly acquaintance.

 

[StupidSmurf]

JD, you bring up a good point. There have been several instances when, after my wife and I let a party, she'd say "So and so was totally hitting on you." And I failed to notice even though I was paying attention. And, on the other hand, there were times back when I was dating around, that I'd thought "She seems interested" only to find out that the woman in question was anything but.

Still, it's more fun to just arbitrarily call an entire segment of the population "crazy".

 

[fusangite]

I'm with Joshua. Women use pretty simple coded communication. I have absolutely no social intution but, if you understand you are just learning a code and put your mind to it, most non-verbal and coded verbal communication is pretty easy to figure out. And, frankly, not learning to code is impolite.

 

[BOZ]

it always seems to be more easily intuited when watching one person flirt with another, than it is to be on the recieving end when not expecting it.

 

[glass]

Oh, I don't think she's crazy, she's just not interested in glass, and doesn't have the guts to tell him so frankly.

I don't have a problem with her not being interested (well, y'know, it's not ideal). It's just the way that she acted interested when she wanted something, then went back to ignoring me when it became clear she wasn't going to get it.

Actually, I'm more anoyed with myself -that I misjudged her so completely- than with anything she actually did.

Still, this is fun thread, so this cloud does have it's silver lining.


glass.

 

[glass]

I'm with Joshua. Women use pretty simple coded communication. I have absolutely no social intution but, if you understand you are just learning a code and put your mind to it, most non-verbal and coded verbal communication is pretty easy to figure out. And, frankly, not learning to code is impolite.

So explain this code: What signs should I be looking out for, good and bad?

'Cause I am (obviously) pretty clueless in that department, and I suspect I am not alone!


glass.

 

[StupidSmurf]

My wife pointed out to me that this is something that relates to the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" (Personally, I've always added the phrase "And Crap Is From Uranus" to the title).

Men, as a species, like to solve problems and/or fix things. Women like to vent, share feelings, blah. So...

WOMAN (just wanting to get something off her chest....behave, you!!!): Guys never ask me out...guys never call me... :::sigh::::

GUY (considers the woman date-worthy AND sees a logical solution to her problem): Hey, I'll call you! Give me your number!

WOMAN: Um...no.

In the immortal paraphrased words of Cartman, "she was just sayin'..."

 

[glass]

Men, as a species, like to solve problems and/or fix things. Women like to vent, share feelings, blah. So...In the immortal paraphrased words of Cartman, "she was just sayin'..."

Sometimes men want to vent too.

Still, you're not wrong.


glass.

 

[fusangite]

So explain this code: What signs should I be looking out for, good and bad?

If you ask for someone's number and they don't give it to you, they mean "No. You can't have my number." Any response to a request for a number that does not include the correct sequence of numbers is a "no." Examples of statements meaning "no"
- any sequence of more less than or more than 7 (or 10 if you have ten-digit local dialing)
- any sequence of numbers that is not, in fact, the person's phone number
- "I don't have a pen."
- "Yes."
- "You're so cute."
- "I really like you."
- "I'll give it to you once I've.../after we..."
- "I've run out of cards."
- "Of course!"
- "That's a great idea."

'Cause I am (obviously) pretty clueless in that department, and I suspect I am not alone!

Well, this is kind of the blind leading the blind. I expect my track record with women is even less impressive than yours. But it has honed my ability to detect rejection early on and avoid public humiliation to some degree.

I would suggest that you avoid asking questions with yes/no answers. Most people, not just women, are loath to say "no" to people unless absolutely backed into a corner.