Mercenary Adventures of the B-Team (closed group)

[Blutspitze]

Finding several more full tankards, Falk proceeds to continue his endeavor to become approximately 30% alcohol (by volume).

BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The..... BUAHAHA!!! ...........Horned....... gir.......BUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *Ahem*. Wait. Thassssss not vury funny.

Falk appears unable to normally blink, opting instead for winking with either eye alternately.

'Ey!! 'EY!!! Ok... huuuurs what we're gunnnnnna do. YOU!! Pointing to Surge. We can pretend that you're, like, a guy that we found.... And... and.... waiiiiit..... Falk proceeds to let out a massive beltch, quite unlike anything the world has ever known. Ahhhhhhh... much better. So... RIGHT! YOU!! You... YoU can be our, like, prisioner type guy. The rest of us could blend into this rag tag group well 'nuff, and you can be our ticket past any guardssss.sss...sss...sss...ssss.s. His voice trails off and his eyes shut most of the way.... WAAAHHH! Yes! Then, once we're innnnssss... we find what's-'is-face... and GRAB 'IM!!!! YESSS!! More drinks!!!!

He seems to be close to his goal...

OOC: Let's roll more Endurance!!!!! Uh ohhhh......

 

[trolled]

Contemplating her lot in life, Ches places her face firmly into her palm. In a muffled tone she says, "The goal is to be unknown when we do this, not to blithely walk up and say 'Oh how do you do? We just happened upon this prisoner. Can we see your boss?' like we're thicker than mud. And stop drinking. You're only 45% dwarf at this point and you've pissed yourself."

OOC: I love you, Blut. Prestidigitation - Urine down Falk's pants.

 

[Phesic]

I don't suspect we will be very stealthy, but I think sticking to the forest has the best chance for success.

Surge is clearly unconcerned about the approach other than getting the job done.

Perhaps a poison to knock the mark unconscious should be procured.

 

[Blutspitze]

OOC: I love you, Blut. Prestidigitation - Urine down Falk's pants.

OOC: ... Dude... totes uncool..... *sniff*....

Oblivious to his current state, Falk continues his near-drunken ramblings.

Wellll FINE! I'll just go with Toaster! We can go to the campsssss and just say 'BOO!' They won't know we're there, and then we'll take all of their shinies! And any high quality stonework they posses. We'll take the mark, knocked out or otherwise, and come back. Easy peasy. No problem. Why be unknown? Why not become known to them and have them fear our very name? I thinks that'd work most bestest. Or.... If we really want to be unknown....

Falk is obviously pleased with himself. In his mind was an eloquent monologue outlining a plan to strike nothing but the most intense fear in the hearts of the enemies; detailed plans, efficient routes, tactical contingencies should things go awry, escape plans, disguise designs, and even dialect training. Unfortunately, the alcohol begins to take its toll on everyone's favorite dwarf, and all that comes out is

Blllarrrhhhgggg bluuurrrr. Sccchhhhecccleeeebleeh. Hurrrmmmm derghhhhhh shappa. Mostat arpe darge. Huuuurrrrrkkk esssshhhh!!!! Blurgh.

With that, he gives a great nod to the party and sits back in his chair, satisfied, a slightly smaller sized, but nonetheless full, tankard of ale in one hand.

 

[whardell]

We drow have a saying, "An intricate plan is the way a meticulous man wins a war, a quick plan and a willingness to adapt is the way one kills a meticulous man, or failing that, a poisoned dagger will generally suffice."

I say we walk through the forest staying close to the trail. That way we can avoid the densest scariest parts of the woods and yet be more or less off the trail. Extra jink is all well and good, but if we dont get going I imagine the orc population of this town will drop tremendously.

"Smash bring me my killing pants, its time to get going!"

 

[Phesic]

We drow have a saying, "An intricate plan is the way a meticulous man wins a war, a quick plan and a willingness to adapt is the way one kills a meticulous man, or failing that, a poisoned dagger will generally suffice."

I say we walk through the forest staying close to the trail. That way we can avoid the densest scariest parts of the woods and yet be more or less off the trail. Extra jink is all well and good, but if we dont get going I imagine the orc population of this town will drop tremendously.

"Smash bring me my killing pants, its time to get going!"

Surge looks from the just recovered drow to the barely recovered sorcerer.

A little friendly advice from the igmo who has to keep you all upright. Stay the night. I'm thinking the orc population will be just fine, and I don't think that marching into the woods in our current condition is conducive to...
,Surge looks a bit confused for a moment, then brighten as if he just discovered the perfect word,
..living.

 

[larryfinnjr]

GM: In the interest of jump starting the bad boy again, I'm gonna cut to the chase...

Heeding the Surgeon's advice, and much to Ches' chagrin, you decide an extended respite among the denizens of Bloomten. Falk needs no further instruction or encouragement as he simply passes out in his chair, complete with faux-urine soaked pantaloons and ale-foam mustache. Stump and his lackey retreat to, well his retreat "The Manor," and Smash (he really needs a new name....or?) spends a few hours pressing and cleaning Mal's killing pants. The Hungry Orc is open 24 hours-a-day, and you're provided with some of the fewer finer items from the foodstuffs and drinks, due to your outstanding actions with Kvatch, Bledso, and crew. As for sleeping arrangements, well, it certainly wasn't the best night you've ever had. It may actually have been the worst, especially for the tiefling who unfortunately didn't come through the night fully rested.

OOC: Ches is -1 surge at daybreak

Smash and 2 other orcs loyal to his sharvik provide you with decent field rations, and they have managed to clean your weapons a bit too. They even managed to patch up Kvatch's magical hide-skins, which they meekly present to Mal before your departure. And the gang is ready to go....

GM: I'll stop here for a day to see if there are any actions you may have wanted to do before leaving... when that's done, we'll start Chapter 2.

 

[Blutspitze]

Falk somehow managed to get upstairs. He awoke next to a gnome. He immediately swore off all alcohol, went downstairs, and had a drink.

 

[trolled]

Waking up with a terrible migraine and sore back, Ches blearily lights a cigarette and joins Falk downstairs at the bar. Seeing that the best she is likely to get is orc piss ale, she abstains from ordering a drink, instead deciding to pull out her water flask and travel rations.

"Who do I have to kill to get proper amenities in this town. Like a feather bed. And room service."

She lets out a long suffering sigh and digs into her meager meal.

 

[Phesic]

Surge steps into the bar from the outside, where he may have been waiting all night.

The sunrise was magnificent friends! I hope you slept well.

Surge will then do a quick check-up on Chess to ensure she is well rested and recovered. He then takes up position at the bar, but orders nothing.