Mind Worm

[Shade]

I think you've got it. You might be able to leave off the "without making a grapple check" if it lacks any other method of swallowing foes.

Agreed on leaving the immunites on the SQ line. Immersion alertness should work, but I'd change it to "immersion awareness" to avoid confusion with the Alertness feat (You know some DM would get confused).

Rewrite of Con drain seems to match current formats.

 

[Knight Otu]

I agree with Shade that this looks good, and on the name immersion awareness.

 

[BOZ]

I think you've got it. You might be able to leave off the "without making a grapple check" if it lacks any other method of swallowing foes.

as far as I can tell, there is such a lack.

simple rewrite:
Fear (Su): Any opponent attacked by a probe worm must succeed on a DC 28 Will save or be shaken for 1d6 rounds. An opponent that succeeds on the saving throw is immune to that mind worm's fear for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based.
(want to make that “Living creatures” instead of any opponent?)

Copied from the mind flayer:
Mind Blast (Sp): This psionic attack is a cone 60 feet long. Anyone caught in this cone must succeed on a DC 28 Will save or be stunned for 3d4 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based. This ability is the equivalent of a Xth-level spell.

And this ability, I hate to say it, is in dire need of simplification (really complex at the moment!):

Probe Worms (Su): A mind worm can create up to 4 probe worms capable of appearing from any reflective surface that the mind worm can notice. This can any surface that the mind worm sees naturally, or one that the mind worm can see through scrying. To allow passage for the probe worms, the mind worm must succeed at a special caster level check with a DC of 20 (the caster level of the mind worm’s greater scrying ability is 15). The following penalties may apply to this check:
Distance of the surface from the mind worm:
Up to 1 mile: +-0
1 to 10 miles: -2
11-100 miles: -4
101 - 1000 miles: -6
1001 - 10000 miles: -8
10001 + miles: -10
Extraplanar: -15
Surface is:
Connected to the body of water the mind worm is in: +-0
An unconnected body of water large enough for the mind worm: -2
An unconnected body of water too small for the mind worm, but large enough for four probe worms (a river or small lake): -4
A reflective surface of Huge size: -4
An unconnected body of water too small for the mind worm, but large enough for one probe worm (a tiny lake or a puddle): -6
A reflective surface of Small to Large size: -6
A reflective surface of Tiny size: -8
A probe worm is a Tiny construct of energy that begins at the reflective surface and can strike at opponents up to 15 feet away from the surface. It has an AC of 20 (+2 size, +8 natural) and 40 hit points.
A probe worm that hits an opponent deals 1 point of damage and 1d4 points of permanent Con drain. On a critical hit, it deals 2 points of damage, 2d4 points of permanent Con drain and attempts to draw the victim into the worm's interior.
A destroyed probe worm cannot be replaced for a full week.

 

[Shade]

as far as I can tell, there is such a lack.

It's still in post #10, line 4.

 

[BOZ]

bah, worry not about what you think you see.

thoughts on post #13?

 

[Shade]

simple rewrite:
Fear (Su): Any opponent attacked by a probe worm must succeed on a DC 28 Will save or be shaken for 1d6 rounds. An opponent that succeeds on the saving throw is immune to that mind worm's fear for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based.
(want to make that “Living creatures” instead of any opponent?)

Looks good to me.

Copied from the mind flayer:
Mind Blast (Sp): This psionic attack is a cone 60 feet long. Anyone caught in this cone must succeed on a DC 28 Will save or be stunned for 3d4 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based. This ability is the equivalent of a Xth-level spell.

Still lookin' good.

And this ability, I hate to say it, is in dire need of simplification (really complex at the moment!):

Probe Worms (Su): A mind worm can create up to 4 probe worms capable of appearing from any reflective surface that the mind worm can notice. This can any surface that the mind worm sees naturally, or one that the mind worm can see through scrying. To allow passage for the probe worms, the mind worm must succeed at a special caster level check with a DC of 20 (the caster level of the mind worm’s greater scrying ability is 15). The following penalties may apply to this check:
Distance of the surface from the mind worm:
Up to 1 mile: +-0
1 to 10 miles: -2
11-100 miles: -4
101 - 1000 miles: -6
1001 - 10000 miles: -8
10001 + miles: -10
Extraplanar: -15
Surface is:
Connected to the body of water the mind worm is in: +-0
An unconnected body of water large enough for the mind worm: -2
An unconnected body of water too small for the mind worm, but large enough for four probe worms (a river or small lake): -4
A reflective surface of Huge size: -4
An unconnected body of water too small for the mind worm, but large enough for one probe worm (a tiny lake or a puddle): -6
A reflective surface of Small to Large size: -6
A reflective surface of Tiny size: -8
A probe worm is a Tiny construct of energy that begins at the reflective surface and can strike at opponents up to 15 feet away from the surface. It has an AC of 20 (+2 size, +8 natural) and 40 hit points.
A probe worm that hits an opponent deals 1 point of damage and 1d4 points of permanent Con drain. On a critical hit, it deals 2 points of damage, 2d4 points of permanent Con drain and attempts to draw the victim into the worm's interior.
A destroyed probe worm cannot be replaced for a full week.

Maybe the following ability of the nerras can provide some insight?

Mirror Jump (Su): Nerras can move through mirrored and reflective surfaces at will. This effect is similar to shadow walk, but the nerra travels along the Plane of Mirrors. As a standard action, the nerra must touch a mirror or other highly reflective surface. The nerra then exits from another mirror that is no farther than 1 mile away.

If a nerra touches a regular mirror, the mirror jump happens automatically. A nerra can also touch a highly reflective surface, such as a polished metal shield or armor. This surface must be clear glass, a still pool of water, or shiny metal. There is a 30% chance that the surface is reflective enough for the nerra to make the mirror jump. However, a nerra can only enter a nonmirrored surface--it can return only through a normal mirror.

If another mirror is not within the range of the mirror jump, the nerra must wander the Plane of Mirrors and exit through another random mirror portal.

 

[BOZ]

*looking it over*

yeah, but we would want to skip the references to the Plane of Mirrors, i would imagine - not because we need to, but who actually uses that? we can definitely use some of that text though.

i'd like a bit more description for the probe worm, maybe a sentence or so. i see that it is "a Tiny construct of energy" but maybe a little more of what it looks like? shape, color, sounds it makes, etc, whatever.

i think this ability needs to be more separated out into what it can do. are the probe worms created where the mind worm is and then go through a reflected surface to another place? or are they created at the other end of the reflective surface?

what sort of damage does it deal when it attacks? is that a bite, or energy?


and reposting these:

simple rewrite:
Fear (Su): Any opponent* attacked by a probe worm must succeed on a DC 28 Will save or be shaken for 1d6 rounds. An opponent that succeeds on the saving throw is immune to that mind worm's fear for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based.
* (want to make that “Living creatures” instead of any opponent?)

Copied from the mind flayer:
Mind Blast (Sp): This psionic attack is a cone 60 feet long. Anyone caught in this cone must succeed on a DC 28 Will save or be stunned for 3d4 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based. This ability is the equivalent of a Xth-level spell.

 

[Knight Otu]

Maybe we can also use some text from the Remote Viewing power as well?

Remote Viewing

Clairsentience (Scrying; see text)
Level: Seer 4
Display: Mental
Manifesting Time: 1 hour
Range: See text
Effect: Quasi-real viewpoint
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates
Power Resistance: Yes
Power Points: 7, XP
You send your mind across space and dimensions, forming it into a quasireal viewpoint from which you can see and hear some creature located at any distance from you, even if planar boundaries separate you. If the subject succeeds on a Will save, the remote viewing attempt fails, and you can’t attempt to view that creature again for at least 24 hours. The difficulty of the save depends on how well you know the subject and what sort of physical connection (if any) you have to that creature. Furthermore, if the subject is on another plane, it gets a +5 bonus on its Will save.

Knowledge Will Save Modifier None1 +10 Secondhand (you have heard of the subject) +5 Firsthand (you have met the subject) +0 Familiar (you know the subject well) –5 1 You must have some sort of connection to a creature you have no knowledge of.
Connection Will Save Modifier Likeness or picture –2 Possession or garment –4 Body part, lock of hair, bit of nail, etc. –10 Subject on another plane +5 If the subject fails its Will save, your mind coalesces a quasi-real viewpoint near enough to the subject to see and hear the subject and its immediate surroundings (up 30 feet in all directions away from the subject).

While the remote viewing lasts, your real body remains unmoving and unaware of your actual surroundings. On the other hand, your quasi-real viewpoint is treated in some ways as if it were an invisible ectoplasmic form of yourself, except as follows. This power is of the Scrying subdiscipline, but use the following information in place of the standard scrying sensor. As a quasi-real viewpoint, you can speak (though your voice is whispery).

You may potentially be sensed by the subject of your viewing (subjects who can see or sense invisible or hidden creatures automatically sense you; otherwise you make a Hide check with a +40 bonus to escape detection if immobile, or a +20 bonus if moving). You could be attacked (although if you become subject to dispel psionics, the remote viewing simply ends). If the subject moves, you can attempt to follow it at a speed of 20 feet, though if it gets farther than 30 feet from you (or you move farther than 30 feet from it), the power ends.

You can attempt to manifest one power through your quasi-real viewpoint, but you must make a Concentration check (DC 20 + level of the power you wish to manifest) to succeed. Manifesting (or attempting and failing to manifest) a power immediately ends the remote viewing.

Furthermore, all powers from your quasi-real viewpoint cost twice the usual number of power points (you can’t exceed the power point limit set by your manifester level, so you are restricted to manifesting lower-level powers than you otherwise could). Power points you spend as a quasireal viewpoint are drained from your real body.

XP Cost: 20 XP.

i'd like a bit more description for the probe worm, maybe a sentence or so. i see that it is "a Tiny construct of energy" but maybe a little more of what it looks like? shape, color, sounds it makes, etc, whatever.

You mean beyond that?:

In addition, they can create up four so-called probe worms, small worm-like beings seemingly made from a crackling red energy.

i think this ability needs to be more separated out into what it can do. are the probe worms created where the mind worm is and then go through a reflected surface to another place? or are they created at the other end of the reflective surface?

As written, created on the target surface (otherwise they'd automatically succeed when creating them nearby). Though it may be a good idea to change that a bit...?

what sort of damage does it deal when it attacks? is that a bite, or energy?

Bite damage, I'd say... Force damage may be also possible, perhaps also desirable.

 

[BOZ]

Maybe we can also use some text from the Remote Viewing power as well?

Maybe... and maybe I will read that more later when I am more awake.

You mean beyond that?:

In addition, they can create up four so-called probe worms, small worm-like beings seemingly made from a crackling red energy.

Yeah, that's what I was looking for.

As written, created on the target surface (otherwise they'd automatically succeed when creating them nearby). Though it may be a good idea to change that a bit...?

so, created on the reflected surface that they are sending the worm to then, and it seems to come out of that surface. We can change that, this is the place to discuss things. Again, more from me when I am more coherent.

for now, here is a start on rewording some of that ability:

Probe Worms (Su): A mind worm can create a probe worm as a standard action, and may have up to 4 of these worms active at any time. A probe worm is a tiny wormlike thing constructed of crackling red energy. The probe worm appears on any reflective surface that the mind worm is able to see through any of its senses or through scrying. A probe worm may make (ranged touch?) attacks at opponents up to 15 feet away from the reflective surface it appears on, dealing 1 point of (bite/force?) damage and Constitution drain, and on a successful critical hit may use its far swallow ability. A probe worm has an AC of 20 and 40 hit points, and when destroyed it cannot be replaced for a full week.

Now that I have that figured out, it is the rest of this ability that needs to be simplified. Reducing or simplifying some of these variables would help out a lot. I don't know that the exponential distances make much sense with the modifiers that were assigned to them:

To allow passage for the probe worms, the mind worm must succeed at a special caster level check with a DC of 20 (the caster level of the mind worm's greater scrying ability is 15). The following penalties may apply to this check:
Distance of the surface from the mind worm:
Up to 1 mile: +-0
1 to 10 miles: -2
11-100 miles: -4
101 - 1000 miles: -6
1001 - 10000 miles: -8
10001 + miles: -10
Extraplanar: -15
Surface is:
Connected to the body of water the mind worm is in: +-0
An unconnected body of water large enough for the mind worm: -2
An unconnected body of water too small for the mind worm, but large enough for four probe worms (a river or small lake): -4
A reflective surface of Huge size: -4
An unconnected body of water too small for the mind worm, but large enough for one probe worm (a tiny lake or a puddle): -6
A reflective surface of Small to Large size: -6
A reflective surface of Tiny size: -8

 

[Knight Otu]

Probe worms are melee attacks, and always secondary attacks.

How about we drop the range modifiers except for extraplanar, and reduce the extraplanar penalty to -10 (keeping the DC and the surface modifiers intact)?