I had thought I could do more with women than making them "rewards" for the players to reflect their fame and charisma. But it's tough, because women don't have stats and they're hard to roleplay. Here are the different approaches I was trying.
Is it possible to have romantic relationships be an interesting part of the campaign? Or should I just tell my players, "Spend the money on ale and whores like everyone else."
The key point you need to work on, I think, is to not turn women into an object, they're people and if you describe them with the level of detail you use for male NPCs, it'll work out just fine.
Think of what they do for a living, they're not limited to being serving wenches, but blacksmiths, town priestesses, bowyers, fletchers, innkeeps, and anything else you wish them to be in your campaign. In a magical world where women can have the same abilities and powers that a male can have, the medieval stereotype for women is very thin and inaccurate.
Look at the real world, men and women generally have to work toward a relationship, or take shortcuts that can lead to imprisonment or a revenge killing (as an example, that charm person trick is date rape, using the modern vernacular, and I doubt many would overlook it), so an In Character/In Game relationship should take work, to.
If you and your players feel uncomfortable role playing such interactions, then I suggest a narrative approach where you describe actions, emotions, interactions (I.E. Upon returning to the village, Bron, you notice an increased amount of respect from the villagers and the fletcher, Arryn, casts a pleasing eye on you when you renew your supply of arrows. Her smile sparked something in you, maybe she'd like to go with you to the autumn festival.).
All in all, when you look a female characters, it is best to flesh them out as you would male characters, since they're not gold and jewels, if you do that, then you'll avoid some cheesy stereotypes and have a fun game.
