Need help with insults!

[rgard]

Can't believe nobody added ferocious French taunts yet:

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

You don't frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!

No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

 

[Umbran]

Are you some sort of idiot?

What nimrod can't even think of a decent insult? I honestly can't believe the stupidity on display here. Your parents are clearly failures who couldn't raise a cactus, let alone a functional human being.

Tossbag.

Not that the OP will have time, but this reminds me of the book I just finished today - Fool, by Christopher Moore. If you don't mind having your insults be of the foul-mouthed variety, it gives you loads of material.

 

[rgard]

I was on the prime material plane 6 months before I figured out 'Stupid Human' was two words.

Ahhh...the prime material plane, where men are men and sheep are nervous.

 

[Greatwyrm]

All of your talent and an empty box is worth exactly one empty box.

Every time you do something stupid, an imp gets its wings. The young ones barely have time to learn to walk.

If your plans were any more lame, they'd be carried out on a stretcher.

 

[Someone]

Sorry if some of these appeared before. I didn't read all the thread thoroughly.

"Dude, you have a lot of hair in you ass. Oh wait, that's your face!"

"I mean, when you were born your mom was fined for littering"

"If an used mop had an affair with Bigfoot, and their illegitimate child was raised with the Yomatomo tribe -who pratice ritual facial scarring- he'd call you ugly"

"Asmodeus rebelled becaused his god told him to kiss you."

"Seriously, the mirrors in your home cry blood."

"Do the test. When you find a genie wish him to make you beautiful. He'll fall, assume fetal position and start shaking."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

OMG......you must ALL be guys!

Would be a perfect insult for a gathering of dwarven families...especially after a deep, theatrical, wincing sniff.

 

[Pyrosa Shadowalker]

Here's some 4 ya.

(To dwarf) Oh my god! I just realized after five months of travling with you that your not a hairless gnome!

My god, your face would kill tha gods themselves!

(To a dwarf) I've seen hairyer elves.

My great great grandfather's corpse had more appeal than you do!

(To elf) I've seen dwarves with more magical ability than you!

(To drow) May the light shine upon you.
*****
And so males, do enjoy.
(I have a little bit of a drow personality, If offended, suck it up)