Negative Player

[nedjer]

The comments on professional help and complex character make a lot of sense. In terms of your game, overlay awards for good roleplaying 'activities', excellent play might make it clearer that the game and table recognises good players as well as good PCs. For example, each player might get a stunt point/ bonus card once/ session as their PC makes a major contribution to play in terms of a good solution or inventive roleplaying.

 

[Zhaleskra]

In my experiences as an assistant martial arts instructor, my most challenging student was a high functioning autistic boy. He would be hard on himself over the tiniest mistake he made (the "I'm dumb" head slap followed by completely stopping) despite 1. martial arts are supposed to build self confidence, and 2. all the instructors encouraging him to acknowledge the mistake and keeping going. He presented other challenges too, but the stopping with the "I'm dumb" head slap was the largest.

The only advice I had on helping him is what the instructors above me had already figured out.

 

[wolfpunk]

Make sure to remind him that it is a game and that part of the thrill of victory is overcoming obstacles created by the DM, the dice and the choices of the player. If you never know failure, success feels less real and more hollow.

 

[Umbran]

What kind of person has their self-esteem tied into whether a d20 roll was sufficient to succeed at a climb check in a roleplaying game?

Abuse survivors, or people with clinical depression or anxiety can behave in in such manners. It isn't that their self esteem is specifically tied to the game - they will tend to have similar reactions to many things in life, especially in social situations. Small frustrations get blown out of proportion.

If the person really has such a tissue-paper self-esteem as you suggest, then he should be seeing a therapist rather than spending time playing make-believe.

Maybe he is. But if he is, he doesn't get to sit in the therapist's office 24/7. He's got to have a life, too, and friends - very few troubled people get better without a support structure.

The guy sounds like a whiner and a passive-aggresssive roleplayer and a drag to be around. Give him the boot. Unless you are a therapist doing pro-bono work, and the other players don't mind wasting their time with a whiner.

If you don't have friends with serious troubles like this that needs your support, count yourself lucky. They aren't uncommon, especially in the geekish communities.

I think it admirable that you want to help, airwalkrr. Friends try to help each other out, and that's cool.

I don't know what your table dynamic is like, but maybe taking the discussion out of the game for a bit (maybe just GM to player) might help. Make it non-accusatory, and about helping him, not about how he's a burden on you. Along the lines of, "Dude, we like you, you're an asset to our game. You seem to be down on yourself and your character a lot - we *like* your contributions, and we don't see the problems you see. How can we help to get you around feeling like that, so you can enjoy the game more?"

Just the explicit statement that you accept him and want to help him have more fun can mean a lot to someone.

There's not a lot beyond that we could say, not being mental health professionals, and not knowing the person in question.

 

[TheAuldGrump]

Hmmm, positive reinforcement - praise when due, etc.. is pretty much all that I can think of.

Maybe something like Action Dice from 7th Sea and Spycraft - where players get a die that can be added to rolls when they attempt cool things? Attempting is the key here - they can even spend the die on the roll for whatever cool thing they are attempting, rather than saving it for later. Even if the roll fails they get tactile enforcement that they have attempted something cool.

The Auld Grump

 

[JoeGKushner]

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

On a more serious note, leave any responses outside of tell him to seek psychiatric help on the wayside. If he is truly screwed in the head in the methodology you describe, as opposed to enjoying the pathos of it all, he's messed up in the skull and needs professioanl help which you and no one posting here through their post, are qualified to give.

 

[airwalkrr]

As someone who has personally experienced what it is like being on the inside of a mental hospital, I honestly believe the player might suffer from some sort of mental disorder, but I'm not trying to cure that. I'm not qualified nor do I feel it is my job. I just want to do what I can to encourage him to have a fun time as his DM.

I'm not really a good friend of his. I met him because he emailed me and asked to join my campaign. But I am an empathic person, and when I identify someone who has emotional issues, I tend to care. A lot of the advice I have seen so far has been very helpful. Especially the advice about playing up the fact that this is just a game. Thanks for that wolfpunk.

 

[Momeeche]

This is going to be unpopular, but I don't think you are going to get anywhere. You get, what a few hours every other week, as compared to all the other hours where his other "friends" and family reinforces the ideas on him, in a way they have done for years. You can't win here.

Move on and save your energy for something more productive. It's not fair, but ya, that's life.