New Race for critique

[Infiniti2000]

And what is the mechanical penalty if I move my human character 40 ft in a round? *gasp* If "you can't do that" is the given answer, then I would ask you to point out a mechanical penalty as written that supports your point. The class and race restrictions are just that. They are the restrictions that govern the game, and without them... anarchy.

There's a big difference between a rule like: Speed 30, and "You can't use this weapon." One is governing a mechanic, the other is attempting to govern a character choice of actions. You can't restrict the Stoic from picking up a longsword and using it just by saying "Don't do that." The mechanical penalty people are referring to would be something like the druid's "you lose all class abilities for 24 hours" or some such. In this case, maybe something like, "The Stoic takes a -2 penalty on charisma and wisdom while wielding restricted weapons. This signifies their inner desire to never use such weapons." In this case, the character can still choose to use such weapons, but they generally won't (unless faced with no alternative). I'd extend the restriction to carried weapons.

Not trying to be smirky... just honestly feel like "they feel flat" isn't really constructive criticism. "Do you have some background/flavor text?" might be more appropriate, right?

I apologize if this criticism seems harsh, but you seem to really want an honest response. IMO, they seem flat because the general concept is not new and nothing in your writeup is original. The main factor in this perception is the name. Stoic is an adjective and shouldn't be the name of the race. You're assigning a preconceived character concept, complete with desired stats, to the race design. You're not designing a race. I get the feeling from this that you wrote down all the mechanics and then figured out the appearance and name, possibly adding the weapon restriction last. Whether or not this is true does not affect the feeling we get.

 

[domino]

Stoic is an adjective and shouldn't be the name of the race.

Not that it's relevant to the race design, but Stoic actually is/was the name of a group of people, those who followed Zeno of Citium.

 

[jayaint]

There's a big difference between a rule like: Speed 30, and "You can't use this weapon." One is governing a mechanic, the other is attempting to govern a character choice of actions. You can't restrict the Stoic from picking up a longsword and using it just by saying "Don't do that." The mechanical penalty people are referring to would be something like the druid's "you lose all class abilities for 24 hours" or some such. In this case, maybe something like, "The Stoic takes a -2 penalty on charisma and wisdom while wielding restricted weapons. This signifies their inner desire to never use such weapons." In this case, the character can still choose to use such weapons, but they generally won't (unless faced with no alternative). I'd extend the restriction to carried weapons.

I appreciate this. I now understand where the "mechanical penalty" phrase fits in. I will adjust my ideas to include something like that, no prob.

I apologize if this criticism seems harsh, but you seem to really want an honest response. IMO, they seem flat because the general concept is not new and nothing in your writeup is original.

I would love to see some links to something similar, so I can have a working model of something "less flat" to compare to. You know... constructive criticism. Also, it seems strange to me that I felt a need (a void to fill) to create a new race, since it is not new, IYO. And I sincerely apologize that R.A. Salvatore was too busy to help edit the EN post of my writeup. Harsh, indeed.

The main factor in this perception is the name. Stoic is an adjective and shouldn't be the name of the race.

Thank you, Domino.

You're assigning a preconceived character concept, complete with desired stats, to the race design. You're not designing a race. I get the feeling from this that you wrote down all the mechanics and then figured out the appearance and name, possibly adding the weapon restriction last. Whether or not this is true does not affect the feeling we get.

Is that a Royal "we"... or more of a collective Borg type "we"? So since that is not true and it wouldn't matter either way (according to you), may I ask what good does posting that feeling here do? I'm just curious.

Your post started off very helpful, and positive. And then for some reason degraded into calling my freely offered idea to the community; not new, unoriginal, and hollow... preconceived as a character idea. Ummm, thanks for the first paragraph. The rest... *sweep sweep* Any more constructive criticism is more than welcome, from all the ENners.

 

[Quartz]

No way is this race +0 LA - +2 to not one but two spellcasting stats is not on. And the race gets +2 to Diplomacy and Sense Motive on top of the bonus they get from the stat increase.

Quite apart from that - and more important - there's next to no description of them. Are they humanoids? Two eyes, two ears, mouth, nose, etc? How many limbs do they have? Habitat? Etc.

 

[jayaint]

Quartz--- The Aassimar get +2's to the same two stats, with no other stat penalties, plus other special abilities, even a spell-like ability, at a +1 LA. My race isn't equal to that.

I guess next time I post something here, I'll make sure and type "New Race... is it balanced?" I have a fully fleshed out description written here, for my DM, I just... summed up... for the EN crowd, so we could concentrate on crunch.

I apologize for that. I'll see about posting my description here in the meantime.

 

[Quartz]

Quartz--- The Aassimar get +2's to the same two stats, with no other stat penalties, plus other special abilities, even a spell-like ability, at a +1 LA. My race isn't equal to that.

True, but this new race is markedly better than a human and that makes it +1 LA in my book.

 

[Rhun]

True, but this new race is markedly better than a human and that makes it +1 LA in my book.

I disagree with this comment...the stoic could be better than a human at some things, but isn't straight up better than a human. A human character would make a better fighter or wizard class character than the stoic, while the stoic would make for a better cleric or sorcerer.

 

[Infiniti2000]

...I just... summed up... for the EN crowd, so we could concentrate on crunch.

You certainly didn't say that in your first post. All you said was "Just looking for some input..." Follow that up with a comment on why they feel flat, and you get my response. You obviously don't agree, and I look forward to your follow-up description. I hope to eat my words.

PS. I don't understand the Domino comment. I assume it's some sort of insult, but I don't know the reference.

 

[domino]

It's not an insult. You said that Stoic shouldn't be the name of a race. I was just pointing out that it was used, historically, as a name for a group of people.

You can still say it's a bad name, but I'm just saying it's not something from completely out of left field.