New spell : your opinion requested

[firstkyne]

Hi, I have composed a new spell for 5e and would like to get some feedback. It is based on thunderous smite. It uses an unusual mechanic in the way it consumes spell slots, but i don't think this should a problem. What you think?

Delayed Thunderous Smite:
1st-level evocation
Level: Paladin 1
Components: V
Casting time: 1 bonus action
Range: Self
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute


After casting, any target you hit with a melee weapon is marked to receive a delayed thunderous strike. During the duration of the spell you may use a bonus action to trigger some or all of the delayed thunderous strikes to the marked targets. Each triggered strike consumes 1 level 1 spell slot and deals 2d8 thunder damage to the marked target. The target must also make a Strength saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away from you (or knocked prone, if more than 30 feet away from you).

This spell was intended to be used for a magic weapon.

 

[Bladecoder]

This all works in my opinion and makes sense.

My real issue would be that there does not seem to be a ton of use for it. Interogations possibly and maybe strategic placing, but that is all I can think of. Nonetheless, good job.

 

[Satyrn]

This spell was intended to be used for a magic weapon.

Do you mean that you're writing up this spell so that you can then write up a magic weapon based on the spell? If so, I wouldn't bother with the spell, and just make the weapon do whatever.

But as for the spell, I think it should just be a cantrip since all of its effects require burning even more spell slots to use.

 

[firstkyne]

This all works in my opinion and makes sense.

My real issue would be that there does not seem to be a ton of use for it. Interogations possibly and maybe strategic placing, but that is all I can think of. Nonetheless, good job.

Hi, thanks very much for your feedback.
Regarding its usefulness, perhaps I can persuade you...
It makes the player make a tactical choice about spreading his blows, rather than focusing on one enemy at a time. (as a DM, this is more fun since my players always gang up on enemies or focus fire rather than spread their blows). This makes the spell less than awesome.

It still seems too powerful to be a cantrip, though, to my mind.

On the other hand, the Paladin can mark a load of enemies and then threaten them with destruction unless they submit. Which has a cool story feel to it. And very Paladin - esqe.

Alternatively he can slash at a number of enemies, and at his leisure, blast them with thunder while he holds his dramatic finishing pose. (yeah, I know, just more story fluff, really)

There are a lot of spells that deliver special damage with each hit. Great for combats which are flat out "kill kill kill" sessions. But the delayed effect allows the player to push for submission from the enemy, which is more nuanced, I think. What do you think?

As a magic weapon, I was thinking of a sword that could cast this or Thunderwave. 6 charges per day, regaining d4 per sunrise.

Perhaps the spell description should include a line like. Each wound dealt fizzes with magic, so sentient victims are aware that they have suffered a magical wound.

That would help the Paladin make his threat: "you have been marked for judgement. Submit or feel the wrath of [gods name]"

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[firstkyne]

Do you mean that you're writing up this spell so that you can then write up a magic weapon based on the spell? If so, I wouldn't bother with the spell, and just make the weapon do whatever.

But as for the spell, I think it should just be a cantrip since all of its effects require burning even more spell slots to use.

Perhaps it should read "each hit after the first uses a spell slot"
Makes it slightly better?

It does do thunderwave damage rather than thunderous Smite damage... 2d8 rather than 2d6.

This was to make it more enticing despite the fact it encourages the player to spread his blows rather than focus.

How am I doing?

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[5ekyu]

Hi, I have composed a new spell for 5e and would like to get some feedback. It is based on thunderous smite. It uses an unusual mechanic in the way it consumes spell slots, but i don't think this should a problem. What you think?

Delayed Thunderous Smite:
1st-level evocation
Level: Paladin 1
Components: V
Casting time: 1 bonus action
Range: Self
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute


After casting, any target you hit with a melee weapon is marked to receive a delayed thunderous strike. During the duration of the spell you may use a bonus action to trigger some or all of the delayed thunderous strikes to the marked targets. Each triggered strike consumes 1 level 1 spell slot and deals 2d8 thunder damage to the marked target. The target must also make a Strength saving throw or be pushed 10 feet away from you (or knocked prone, if more than 30 feet away from you).

This spell was intended to be used for a magic weapon.

Ok so, as far as i can tell with thunderous smite you burn a level 1 slot and get ONE thunderous boom on your first target hit...

with this one you expend the same slot and get to mark multiple foes and time your thunder booms to when most advantageous and onto multiple targets? The cost is additional slots expended? The net result though is fewer turns in which you have to use the "cast a bonus action" to deliver a smite...

i would suggest the gains in flexibility make it a 2nd level spell - not the same as the one target, first one hit, one cast smite.

"over time" and "multiple targets" from a single casting is usually worth something.

 

[firstkyne]

Ok so, as far as i can tell with thunderous smite you burn a level 1 slot and get ONE thunderous boom on your first target hit...

with this one you expend the same slot and get to mark multiple foes and time your thunder booms to when most advantageous and onto multiple targets? The cost is additional slots expended? The net result though is fewer turns in which you have to use the "cast a bonus action" to deliver a smite... [/QUOTE ]

Thanks very much for your feedback. From this discussion I was thinking of changing the wording tso that the first triggered thunderous strike would not use up another spell slother. It wasn't my intention to make the overall cost in spell slots be higher.

i would suggest the gains in flexibility make it a 2nd level spell - not the same as the one target, first one hit, one cast smite.

"over time" and "multiple targets" from a single casting is usually worth something. [/QUOTE ]

I thought that too, at first, but then I thought "first of all the character has got to actually successfully hit the targets, as well as maintain concentration" So now I'm not so sure.

I'd feel more able to judge it right if I could find another spell which burns up spell slots really quickly like this. But there don't seem to be any, which makes me think there is some kind of design rule that I'm stepping on obliviously.

 

[Satyrn]

Perhaps it should read "each hit after the first uses a spell slot"
Makes it slightly better?

Yes, very much so.

I'd say that makes it worth the 1st level slot, and is ready to try in game. Good work!