No, your experience is what I see most of the time--focus on STR (or DEX) to attacks/damage, not CHA.
I don't "hate" smite. My biggest issue with it is that it comes
after the hit has been scored. So, you don't run the risk of possibly wasting a resource, and I know that makes running the game "easier", but taking just about any aspect of resource management from the game takes away another aspect of challenge.
The worst part is the "critical smite", where the player completely unloads the biggest smite they can because they now
KNOW all those dice will be doubled... Risk the smite before the attack roll, and suddenly hitting becomes more interesting again, and missing makes you groan just a bit more.