D&D General NuTSR's Rebound "Black Books" - What About the Back Cover?

What is on the back cover of these books?

  • Nothing, it's completely blank

    Votes: 14 35.0%
  • Nothing, otherwise they would cost $1300 each instead of $650

    Votes: 10 25.0%
  • Nothing, nobody at DHSM could agree on what to put there

    Votes: 1 2.5%
  • Nothing, because these books don't exist.

    Votes: 6 15.0%
  • A giant TSR logo, 8" wide

    Votes: 4 10.0%
  • The original books' covers, upside-down

    Votes: 3 7.5%
  • At least 2 spelling errors

    Votes: 16 40.0%
  • The lizard man logo, the wizard logo, AND the TSR logo. Take THAT, WotC!!

    Votes: 6 15.0%
  • Duct tape

    Votes: 5 12.5%
  • The legacy content disclaimer

    Votes: 7 17.5%
  • A full-page "About the Author" write-up, dedicated to Justin LaNasa

    Votes: 4 10.0%
  • A recipe for Cheddar Cheese Grits Casserole, from Southern Living (uncredited)

    Votes: 1 2.5%
  • Something else (comment below)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • STOP YOU KNOW NOTHING !!

    Votes: 8 20.0%

CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing
By now, I'm sure you've seen the pictures of the infamous 'black book' rebindings of the 1E Players Handbook, Deities and Demigods, and more. These striking books are solid black, with gold foil lettering, and a comically large "TSR" logo on the front cover, apparently being sold for $650 apiece. I have to admit, the front covers look simple but elegant:

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But what about the back cover? As far as I can tell, nobody has ever seen the back of these books, and nobody at the Dungeon Hobby Shop Museum has ever displayed their back covers. So the speculative sky is the limit!

What do YOU think is on the back cover? Check all that apply.

(I know that everybody already knows this, just from reading the poll options, but I felt I should state it plainly: this poll is meant to be satire. I'm not even sorry about beating this dead horse, either...I am always going to relentlessly mock a $650 book, on principle alone, regardless of who is selling it or why. With a $650 price tag, this is no longer a book--it's an IQ test! I don't honestly believe that there would be a Legacy Content disclaimer on the back cover. But even if there was, it still wouldn't be the most outlandish part of this story.)
 
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"Nothing, because these books don't exist."

I would be extremely surprised if these truly exist. I havent been following this fiasco but based on the obscene price for each book this just seems like another attempt to bilk people out of their money.
 

CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing
"Nothing, because these books don't exist."

I would be extremely surprised if these truly exist. I havent been following this fiasco but based on the obscene price for each book this just seems like another attempt to bilk people out of their money.
I'm pretty sure they exist, or at least the books in the photograph do. And the back cover is probably blank, decorated with nothing but the textured, faux-leather cover and a film of black paint.

But that's boring!

It's much more fun to imagine what ridiculous stuff could be on the back cover. I was chuckling to myself the whole time I was inventing the poll options, and by the time I got to "Legacy content disclaimer" I was practically in tears.

(And I know that everybody already knows this, just from reading the poll options, but I felt I should state it plainly: this poll is meant to be satire. I'm not even sorry about beating this dead horse, either...I am always going to relentlessly mock a $650 book, on principle alone, regardless of who is selling it or why. With a $650 price tag, this is no longer a book--it's an IQ test! I don't honestly believe that there would be a Legacy Content disclaimer on the back cover. But even if there was, it wouldn't be the most outlandish part of this story.)
 

J.Quondam

CR 1/8
Giant TSR logo, but it's misspelled "TRS"; plus an in-depth bio of LaNasa (including significant text lifted from Stonewall Jackson's wikipedia page) and an accompanying "photo" with his his head photoshopped onto Jean-Claude Van Damme's body from a 1988 Bloodsport movie poster.
 



bulletmeat

Adventurer
Either black sharpie or the sticker remnants of the half-price books price tag he bought all these old 1e copies from.
$10 says all of them have names written in pencil that have been hurriedly erased.
 


Drake2000

Explorer
The complete history of TSR as imagined by LaNasa and Ernie, a rather lengthy diatribe that, due to spacing issues, had to be rendered in 3.5 pt. font, causing the letters to all blur and meld together into a massive gold-leaf blob. When pressed on it, they will claim that this is their flagship monster, the Golden Glob, which will have its very own limited-edition miniature available through an Indiegogo campaign in the near-future.

Amazingly, this campaign will result in an actual product, and supporters will be delighted surprised annoyed when they receive a small blob of welding slag, which has been hastily sprayed with Krylon metallic gold primer.
 

Faolyn

(she/her)
You missed an option: the Derwent logo, because I think there's a chance that these are just hardbound sketchbooks with gold embossed letter stickers on them.
 


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