Fanaelialae
Legend
I can see that problem. And when you don have a grid, it even gets worse. But the three important cases are (repeating myself):
1. Running away from melee without retreating first.
2. Passing by someone. (here it really does not matter if you attack when he enters or leaves the threatened area)
3. Doing things in melee that are no melee attacks
I would add:
4. Beeing unable to defend yourself (aka helpless/stunned)
With those things, you easily have all the basic cases covered.
In 3rd edition you also have: trying a special maneuver without traing... (sure why not)
In 4e you have OAs if you are a defender and an enemy attacks an ally while you are threatening him.
I am sure i want that defender mechanic retained. And maybe the OA against special maneuvers were good too. I however believe, there should be no feat to circumvent that attack. Never. Too many special cases make this rule unwieldy.
That could help. An explanation in realistic terms would probably make more sense to some players than game terminology. I don't know that it fully addresses the issue, however. My suspicion is that it has more to do with information overload than being unable to parse game terms.
I think the direction I might go would be to grant full OA to bodyguard type warriors, once per round OAs to other types of front-line fighters, and no OAs to non-warriors. (Perhaps non-warriors could acquire the ability to make OAs with a feat, or some such.)
Then only the more well-trained enemies would have OAs, allowing the DM to moderate their use if his players are struggling with the concept.