D&D General Of Consent, Session 0 and Hard Decisions.

[Charlaquin]

They're fine in that scenario. If people want to use the.

Well, yeah, that’s what they’re for, so…

 

[Zardnaar]

Well, yeah, that’s what they’re for, so…

Dome people don't like communicating and internet made that worse.

I suppose if a checklist Helps with that go for it. It's only something you hear about online along with the horror stories so it's internet drama for me at least.

 

[Piperken]

I've never participated as player or table runner at a convention, FLGS/game/comic business etc. before. It seems to me irrespective of my personal feelings towards tools like consent forms, if I found myself in the position of potentially playing with or hosting a game with players with significant age difference to myself, I'd check with the venue or business first to see what their best practices and policies were, and comply with those.

Second, table runners are participants as well, who have their own veils and lines over what elements they're comfortable with for the game in question.

Be kind to yourself by advocating for yourself. For one, it helps potential players make up their mind whether the game you offer is the one they're craving, and two, it models for players what to look for in the future for themselves.

 

[Cap'n Kobold]

Few years ago there was a storm in a teacup around consent forms. It was mostly an online thing I've never had a player present one or even know what one is.

I have seen them referenced online and read the horror stories around them when wielded by drama queen/seafood pizza type players. Yes you can present one to the DM but ultimately it's their choice if you even get to play or not.

Some of you may know that I e recently started to aim my games at beginner players. There's a DM shortage and a lot of groups may not want beginner players or players with kids who want to play. I'll pretty much give anyone a chance.

Consent forms are mostly A waste of time imho but it did change the way I run a session 0 or advertise for players. Online insanity tgat won't really matter IRL.

So basically happy DM beats happy player. Unhappy player they leave. Unhappy DM no game. Theoretically anyone else can step up in practice that doesn't happen. I recently shut down one of my games. The group dynamics are the lost important thing in D&D. This over rides edition in my experience.

So what I do is clearly communicate what I'm offering, how I roll and what I expect. I'm not going to change what I enjoy doing for a hypothetical consent form. DM and player might have different expectations I wish you well in finding a game you like. You're a moron if you don't listen to players however.

I'll paraphrase my recent players wanted ad. I was after 1 or two got 8 responses and which 7 turned up. I have around 14-15 players to draw on. Gamers dont tend to be good at communicating and cultural traits here don't help with that.

My games are run around PG13 with F bombs. I swear, my players swear, gamestore people swear. A Consent form won't fix that if it's a deal breaker so be it. Generally I ask if players are familiar with Game of Thrones, BG3 and if any of that offends them. My games don't go that far but it gives you a very good idea where they're comfort at. I will also reference history often the classical world.

I will mention violence, slavery, genocide, racism and spells that over ride free will. Don't role play a jerk or be a jerk. This includes pvp, stealing off other players fireballing the party, raging etc. Your right to have fun stops when your behavior impacts other players enjoyment of the game. Last 10 years I have booted out 4 players. 3 went out at once and promptly got booted from their next two games. The 4th has been fired from his job and been banned from half the Soth Island public gaming places from the sounds of it.

Also mentioned is physical violence. Seems odd but I have seen it happen. One of my players is a big burly guy works at Port. I used to work at Port. At Port you encounter gang members, ex cons etc it can be a bit rough. It's been a while but we had a loud stereotypical American who couldn't keep his hands to himself. Some players wear steel capped work boots just saying. Self correcting problem.

Consent forms won't capture everything. Explicitly state anything specific that's a problem I can accommodate reasonable requests. PG13 covers most reasonable things your PCs won't get tortured or worse. If something bad happens it's off camera, fade to black roll up a new character. You may get eaten for example but I'm not going to graphicly narrate a mind flayer dinner.


DM die of Doom d20. This is basically to avoid playing favorites or having the most annoying/extroverted player hogging all the screen time whole getting everyone involved. Say a merchant approaches the group. Everyone rolls a d20 highest result the Merchant approaches that PC. For critical negotiations the parties face can do their thing.

If the event is negative eg pick pocketing or you want to keep them guessing ask for the lowest result. That player cops the proverbial arrow to the face. If you do it early in the session odds are they've forgotten in 2 hours time when the event happens.

The DM paradox. During session 0 I include this. Basically villains are going to villain. This may include offensive behavior eg xenophobic racist Drow come to mind. Being a villain you can hit them with the pointy end. You may only have to deal with them the once or in short amounts. If a players is doing that it's an aggravating ongoing event every session.

PG13 tends to avoid most of the problems along with no evil PCs without DM and other players consent. LE types are often less annoying than your stereotypical CN types.

The Hard Decisions

So being a LE tyrant DM there's some Grey areas. This is usually players who behavior isn't bad enough to boot from the game but they have poor social interaction skills in the way they play the game or interact with players. As a DM you hear the other players complain or they annoy the DM.

Often it's just a lot of small things that add up over time. Screen hogs, talking over other players, being really bad at playing their characters, poor hygiene or maybe they're fine individually but don't mesh well with certain individuals or disruptive as a pair/group. In game they might smash chests before the experts can have a crack or recklessly trigger traps. Destroying loot and triggering traps on others gets annoying fast. Unreliable attendance is another one (50/50 or worse).

They're not bad enough to boot from the game but they may get broken up or not invited back to the next one. They think they're having fun in private others are asking you to boot them or indifferent to their fate if you ask about cutting them.

I'm not entirely sure what you're asking for here with this post?

You evidently have an issue with consent forms. - Are you looking for advice for different safety tools?
The ones that I've seen in use are the traffic light system or the card system, which aren't quite as good as using consent forms for normal games, but work better for the AL or similar format.

 

[MarkB]

I suppose if a checklist Helps with that go for it. It's only something you hear about online along with the horror stories so it's internet drama for me at least.

Meaning it's something you've only heard about online. They're not exactly commonplace here, but I've been in a few games that used them, mostly at clubs or conventions. More often in, for instance, horror-themed games, where pushing players out of their comfort zone is part of the point, which makes hitting boundaries more likely.

 

[Burnside]

I guess I’m curious about these “horror stories.” What exactly are these drama queen seafood Americans getting up to?

 

[el-remmen]

It is perfectly okay if someone’s preferences or hard lines about what they find appropriate to a game does not work for you and you want to encourage them to find a game more to their style. Just don’t be a dismissive jerk about it.

So if Sam comes to me and says “no death from exposure while at sea,” I might reply “Then maybe my survival horror detailed resource management sea exploration game is not for you, Sam.” But if it a is generic campaign or a campaign set in some other area not focused on sea journeys but you dismiss it anyway because you personally don’t get it and don’t want to feel at all constrained, that feels a little jerky because there is no reason within the themes of the game you’ve agree to run that you’d have to include that scenario.

 

[Charlaquin]

Dome people don't like communicating and internet made that worse.

I suppose if a checklist Helps with that go for it. It's only something you hear about online along with the horror stories so it's internet drama for me at least.

Most RPG horror stories you hear on the internet are made up. I can assure you, forms like this do get used in real life (I’ve used one myself, for a Curse of Strahd game). Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I’m not surprised you haven’t experienced one being used, since it sounds like you typically DM, and they are a tool DMs use. I’ve certainly never heard of a player bringing one to their DM before today, though personally if I had a player bring one to me, I would take it as a sign that they have some subject matter they are particularly sensitive to, and this is their attempt to bring it up to me.

 

[Zardnaar]

I'm not entirely sure what you're asking for here with this post?

You evidently have an issue with consent forms. - Are you looking for advice for different safety tools?
The ones that I've seen in use are the traffic light system or the card system, which aren't quite as good as using consent forms for normal games, but work better for the AL or similar format.

Broadly speaking.

1. Have s conversation about what everyone's comfortable with.

2. Consent forms won't capture everything creates more work.

3. You're an idiot if you don't listen to your players.

4. Ultimately you have to make a decision over what to run and how along with who gets to play.

I use BG3 and GoT as they're the most prominent recent fantasy examples.

Imagine trying to use consent forms for those and what they cover. I don't even go that far. I'm not even sure we could discuss a hypothetical BG3 campaign on these forums.

 

[Zardnaar]

It is perfectly okay if someone’s preferences or hard lines about what they find appropriate to a game does not work for you and you want to encourage them to find a game more to their style. Just don’t be a dismissive jerk about it.

So if Sam comes to me and says “no death from exposure while at sea,” I might reply “Then maybe my survival horror detailed resource management sea exploration game is not for you, Sam.” But if it a is generic campaign or a campaign set in some other area not focused on sea journeys but you dismiss it anyway because you personally don’t get it and don’t want to feel at all constrained, that feels a little jerky because there is no reason within the themes of the game you’ve agree to run that you’d have to include that scenario.

Basically what I do.
My Greek game has an aquatic adventure coming up. I did cover some thing Athens and Sparta 101.

Campaign didn't start there but they woukld visit Athens at least.