I'm not really sure what your saying. There is a large part of the player base that just does not care: nothing will ever change that.I think perhaps the problem you're seeing may be one you're contributing to.
You do notice how nearly everyone makes a huge, big deal out of character death.....must mean something. If it was just a "thing" then people could just let it happen and go on with the game. The fact that people can't do it, says something.The possibility of losing my playing piece is what turns a situation from interesting to edge-of-the-seat interesting.
But why? Nearly everything else only makes a slight ripple in the story or plot...but death can make things really, really interesting. How is like "loosing a key" just so amazing and interesting as a failure?Which means death is apt to be the least interesting form of failure.
I think I see the problem though, and it's all on the players. It's the bane of so many games: Player Self Insertion. Tons of players don't see their character, they see ti as themselves inserted into the game. This is why so many players don't even role play "a character" even a tiny bit: they just have the character Be Themselves.
And that is what causes the huge reaction to even the idea of the suggestion of player character death: to such a player, in their mind, "they" are dying, not a fictional character.