Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way


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The Party Meets Some Wandering Adventurers

After a few days, Trinia has grown restless. She and Brother He wander from the group’s camp to forage and stumble across two passing armored adventurers named Ezra and Sam. They seem an odd pair; Sam (a dwarf) it later turns out is neither male nor female but a little bit of both.* Trinia has seen such hermaphrodites in animals from time to time, but never in a humanoid before, and she can’t help but feel a small amount of professional fascination.

While most of the rest of our heroes rest a little longer, Trinia, He, Sam and Ezra decide to explore a little more of the crypt. The four of them first uncover and then descend into the hole that the ogrish zombie had emerged from. Trinia’s wolf follows behind, snuffling around warily. The squeaking of rats is still evident as they reach the first chamber, though most of the many rat bodies have been gnawed or devoured.

“Let’s hope it was just rats that did that,” murmurs Trinia. Brother He nods.

The group explores a little. The south end of the passage has an exit that splits like an inverted Y; one passage leads to some kind of crude altar while the other leads to an open chamber. The two rooms connect, and from the connecting point another passage leads. The group moves forward, unaware that they’ve been heard.

The passage leads into a room with some sort of pool of water in it. Little wisps of steam rise from the pool. And suddenly, a little winged figure pops out of it, giggles, and opens its mouth. A cloud of scalding water rolls over the four adventurers! They yelp in pain as their flesh burns.

Brother He reacts first, leaping forward and lashing out with a flurry of kicks and blows! He lands two blows on the little watery creature, but to his dismay he can’t seem to harm it! Trinia and her wolf both attack it as well, but it darts out of the way of both blows. It laughs gleefully and cries, “Fools! None may pass me without paying my toll!”

The party draws back for an instant. “What’s your toll?” Ezra asks.

“You will each pay me 20 pieces of gold!” the mephit squeals gleefully.

“No way!” Sam barks. “You guys aren’t really thinking of paying this little creep?”

“I can’t hurt it,” Brother He says calmly.

“That’s right!” the little creature screeches. “So pay up or go away!”

Grumbling, our heroes pay the toll. Sam and Azekia, being broke 1st-level adventurers, haven’t enough money; so Trinia and Brother He loan them the money, hoping that they’ll be paid back later from any treasure they might find.

Beyond the mephit they approach a four-way intersection. “The walls are a little better-worked here,” remarks Sam idly as they walk, his (her?) dwarven eye easily picking out such details.

“Which way do you think we should go?” wonders Ezra. Then, suddenly, something that looks for all the world like a vein of minerals on the wall snaps out to strangle him! The human gasps and clutches at the vine, trying to pry it from around his throat.

Sam pulls out an axe and swings. Trinia’s scimitar, too, slashes out. The vine is cut free almost instantly, and Ezra is freed from its rough grip. “Thanks,” he gasps.

“Assassin vine,” Trinia says in wonder. “I’ve never seen one of the underground variety before.”

“Keep your eyes open,” Sam scowls.

To either side, it turns out, are burial chambers, with a heavy stone sarcophagus in each. These are clearly ‘special’ burial chambers, rather than the simple shelves of bones the first room held.

“Should we open one of ‘em up?” wonders Sam.

“Yeah, let’s,” Ezra answers, and tries to do so; but the lid is heavy, so the others throw their strength in as well and soon push the lid aside.

“Well, well, would you look at that!” says Sam.

Beneath the lid is no body; only a ladder leading down from an empty coffin.





*These two were drop-in one time players. Sam’s player got quite ‘creative’ with her character, without any help from anyone else.



Next Time: Down the ladder, to where the architecture is noticeably different!
 



Poison!

Nervously, the four adventurers descend further, clambering carefully down the rusty ladder that drops from within the sarcophagus. At the bottom is an oval chamber, about 35’x25’. Rubble chokes several areas of the floor and one section of wall seems partially collapsed. A single door, much better made than the ogrish architecture the party has seen thus far, seems to be the only exit.

“All right,” breathes Trinia. “Let’s go.”

Ezra steps up and opens the door. Beyond it is a hall, but what a difference from the previous halls above! The wall stones are cut square and tidy rather than being crudely carved, the door slides neatly into place rather than resting roughly in a frame that it doesn’t fit very well.

To the left is a door; to the right is a pile of rubble- and, in the rubble, movement.

“Look out!” cries Brother He.

Then two scorpions as long as a man scuttle forward, snapping their claws, jabbing forward with their stingers. Sam cries out in fear as the arachnids tear into both Trinia and him (? her?). Brother He leaps up, his leg snapping out and connecting with one’s head, while the others duel the second scorpion with their blades. The snapping claws deal horrible wounds, ripping a chunk of Brother He’s side free. Blood pours down his torso as he grits his teeth, fighting past the pain to aim a chopping blow of his hand at the scorpion’s eye. The other jabs its stinger forward, pricking Ezra. Ezra jabs back with his blade, slicing open the creature’s carapace around its foremost leg. It snaps again at him, but he dances back, the venom in the wound in his chest burning like the devil.

Crack! Ezra’s sword finishes the first scorpion, and a moment later Trinia’s scimitar slashes the other one down. Breathing hard, bleeding and poisoned, our heroes retreat.

“Best we go back above,” groans Brother He, his vision swimming. “Need to rest again.” He leans against the wall for a moment.

Trinia nods. “I think you’re right. We’d best wait for the others to be ready, too... we’re too few.”

Our heroes take the ladder back up, Brother He veritably dragging himself and Ezra barely able to make it in his envenomed state. They close the sarcophagus tight- hoping to avoid repeating previous mistakes- and stagger back up and out of the cave to rest.

The next morning Sam and Ezra take their leave of our heroes. They’re en route to something perhaps more lucrative, and though they wish the halflings well, they’ve not much to do with the small folk. “If we meet again, however,” Sam says gruffly, “I’ll remember that you treated me better than most.” With a curt nod, the dwarven hermaphrodite leaves, Ezra following along behind.


Next Time: Back down into the crypt! What yet lurks within it?
 


A Little Soap

A day after their encounter with the wandering adventurers, our heroes resume their exploration of the crypt. Creeping back down the stairs, the band of adventurers returns to the sarcophagus with the descending ladder and, nervously, clamber down it.

“This place is filthy,” Mama comments, distaste evident in her voice.

The door that leads to the hall where the scorpions assailed the group earlier remains open, half-blocked by chunks of rock. Cautiously, Brother He peers past the door; all he can make out are the pair of doors to the left and the corpses of the vermin the group had already slain. Quietly, the group moves to the first door- only to find it stuck.

“It’s because of all the dirt,” Mama Flapjacks tells them after Brother He bashes at it with his shoulder for a moment or two.

Federico whimpers, “Maybe we should just go back upstairs. Maybe we aren’t meant to get in there!” His tail is tucked between his legs and he trembles like a, well, small dog.

Mama snorts at the clan’s pet disdainfully. “All it will take is a little soap,” she says primly, pulling her backpack over her shoulder. “Let me see...” She digs around for a moment or two, finally exclaiming in triumph as she pulls out a bar of soap. Squirting some water on the door frame, she sets to working up a lather of suds. Soon she proclaims the door as ready as it’s going to get and Brother He puts his shoulder against it again. This time he feels it start to slip, and throwing his meager weight into it, he forces it open at last!

Only to be confronted with a horrible wailing sound. “SCREEE! SCREE! SCREEEEEE!!!”

“Shriekers!” Brother He calls over the noise. Slowly they pull the door shut, and a few minutes later the noise cuts out.

“We could destroy them,” Brother He suggests after the shrieking stops.

“Or just ignore them,” whines Federico.

“Well,” Mama muses, “shrieker stew can be mighty good... but I don’t have the other ingredients. Still... in case we come across some ginger, I do have the onions and bell peppers, and I think a little sprouts...”

So the halflings move in, easily destroying the shriekers. But even as they finish their task, with Mama holding her torch in one hand and her mace in the other, something out of sight in the corner of the ceiling quivers and starts to move, slowly oozing forth. Nearly silent, it creeps forward towards Mama Flapjacks’ unsuspecting back....



Next Time: The ooze attacks!
 



Attack of the Ooze!

“AIIIEEE!!!!”

With Mama’s scream, the party whirls is a flurry of disorganized jumpy confusion. “What’s happening?” someone screams, and someone else sounds like she’s crying.

Mama swings her mace and screams again as it dissolves into slag in seconds. The oozing horror that’s trying to eat her is flowing forward at her again, and she waves the torch she’s carrying at it, but it almost gets her hand as it consumes the torch. Darkness descends on the group! Then Brother He* yanks her out of harm’s way and interposes himself between Mama and the ooze, lashing out at it with a kick that burns his foot.

The monster strikes, a grey pseudopod reaching out and smacking Brother He, then grappling him and burning him terribly! Gritting his teeth, Brother He exerts himself heroically and manages to burst free! The effort is too much for him, however, and he collapses.**

Then a pair of missiles shoot out, Federico’s dagger and Mama’s bolt both striking the ooze, puncturing it; fluid leaks freely from it. Already damaged from its first meeting with Mama and Brother He’s kick, the ooze quivers and tries to withdraw; but the quarrel sticking into it catches on the floor and tears, and suddenly there’s a hole in the bottom of the ooze’s membranous skin almost as big as the ooze itself. Its cytoplasm spills out explosively and it dies.

“That was scary,” Federico complains as Mama heals the valiant Brother He.

Our heroes search around a little; a number of odd fungi are in the chamber, some of which are good eating, so they harvest a few for later. There are a few old bodies, long since consumed as fuel for the grey garden; but some equipment remains. The group finds some half plate of extraordinary quality, sized for a halfling or gnome. There are also a longspear and a staff of small size, as well as a few items sized for a larger wielder.

Better yet, Federico finds a smut-covered ornate chest, studded with gems and graven precious metals. “If we clean this up it would probably be worth something,” the kobold suggests. Within the chest are about two thousand silver coins. Our heroes congratulate themselves on a worthwhile haul.

There are still another two doors to explore; our heroes proceed to the next.


*Bear in mind that Brother He is a deep halfling and therefore has darkvision.

**He was at 0 when he made his attempt to burst free, which succeeded, but dealt 1 point of damage to him. Dramatic moment!


Next Time: An enemy our heroes cannot defeat!
 

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