Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way

[the Jester]

I just thought y'all might be interested in a few notes on the clans.

The Halfling Clans of Strogass:

Major Clans (at least 500 halflings):

The Bakeswells- famous for the quality of their food; next head will be Aymand
The Peachtrees
The Barleybrews- known for their fine halfling beers; rambunctious twins
The Hempflowers
The Goodwheels
The Hodiddlys- most recent clan, consists of followers and descendants of ‘Great Grandpa’ Illypum Hodiddly, a notable bard of amazing rhetorical skill

Clans of Moderate Power (at least 200 halflings or special resources):

The Flapjacks
The Peacebonds
The Slingers- famous for their missile ability (sling & thrown)
The Daisyblooms
The Piemakers
The Goldfields
The Gooddays
The Redgrapes
The Lenders
The Warmhearths
The Sangedrakes- weirdoes
The Sandybanks- mainly Stouts; prefer areas near water
The Laughletters
The Drywalls- desert dwelling clan from the fringes of the Grey Waste
The Slysneaks- a far-spread group infamous for their ‘adventurers’

There are over 150 small clans, usually numbering between 20 and 50 folk (though a few approach moderate status and have larger populations).

 

[the Jester]

Our Heroes Have Old Enemies Already??

It’s a four day trip to Blackwood, which is a wee town that’s hosting a jam contest in the upcoming weeks. Our heroes make the journey easily, with no trouble or noteworthy encounter. Brother He continues to practice using the rainshield as a stylistic device, working to create katas for it.

When they finally reach Blackwood, they find that it’s a pretty small town. There are two taverns across the street from each other. The one that’s a little better lit and cleaner is called the Three Legged Blink Dog; across the way is the Displacer Beast, clearly a touch seedier. Our halfling heroes naturally enter the friendlier place, from which the smell of cooking soup rather than vomit emanates. Asking around a bit, they find that the selection of judges is made by a committee of town elders, picking folk from a pool of volunteers.

Clearly, the party’s next move is to put a few people into that pool of volunteers. Mama Flapjacks is a shoo-in (the group assumes); Airhead Ed throws her name in too, for the idea of tasting many high-quality jams has a certain appeal to her. Well, naturally; she’s a halfling.

The party spends a couple of days campaigning for Mama Flapjacks, spreading tales of her culinary experience, claiming she’s been a judge at similar things before, etc. They do their best to make her a well-known guest of the community, rather than a complete stranger. They even seek out opportunities to help the town. And at night, one or two of them- usually Federico- gets drunk. Ed usually gives him his late walk.

One morning, over breakfast, Federico mentions that he’s heard that a local farmer, named Amos, has a missing dog. “He’s the corn farmer at the end of the row,” the kobold squeaks. “Maybe we should help him.” The party agrees that this sounds like a good way to continue making a good name for themselves, and they seek out Amos.

It turns out to be Amos’ daughter’s dog that’s missing. Amos, a lanky human seemingly without an ounce of welcome or friendliness in his body, doesn’t really seem to want the dog back. But our heroes press on nevertheless, managing to extract the dog’s last known location. “I won’t pay you,” the farmer tells them sourly. “Damn dog. Don’t much care for dogs.” He glares at Federico.

“Yeah, me neither,” the kobolds whines, and slinks behind Cavedwarf’s leg.

Our heroes head into the nearby glade of woods that was the dog’s last known location, hoping to find some trace of it, and then begin exploring the rocky defile behind the woods. A stream runs through this, and as they head upstream the clan becomes aware of a crashing noise up ahead. “A waterfall,” Trinia says knowingly.

***

Are you surprised to learn that our heroes already have old enemies? Enemies that they’ve made in this very story hour? Indeed, they do!

Blaze and Broadsword watched from above as our heroes entered the defile. They recognized our heroes, too, or at least many of them. Trotting down towards their hidden lair, they communicated telepathically, silently.

Plotting death to all who might have figured out their secret.

***

The halflings move up the edge of the streambed, which winds its way south into the mountains. Around them rock walls are starting to rise in sheer walls, making it more of a gorge, and only hardy, strong-rooted plants can cling to the vertical walls. “There, the waterfall,” Brother He calls out, gesturing ahead. He’s seen such things before, in the Underdark, but never before on the surface.

“Well, no sign of the dog,” grumbles Captain Cavedwarf.

“I wonder if there’s anything behind the waterfall?” says Ed. “There’s always stuff behind the waterfall in the tales.”

“That’s true,” affirms Mama. “Dog! Go look!”

Federico splashes up to the waterfall and sticks his scrawny neck through it, then pulls it back after a moment.

“There’s a cave!” he exclaims. “And there are two garen back there!”



Next Time: Blaze and Broadsword strike!

 

[Lela]

What's a garen?

And Blaze and Broadsword are perfect FF names.

 

[the Jester]

What's a garen?

They're my campaign's rough equivalent of horses- they look like zebras except that they're any two colors of brown, yellow and green.

 

[the Jester]

Blaze whinnies innocently, and inwardly both garen snicker to themselves.

They’ve known this time would come again since they murdered their previous owner, Othic. The taste of blood was too enticing, and now- now for these, the only individuals who might be able to reveal the truth about them, to come along so perfectly- well!

As the little creatures try to coax them out of the cave, the garen open up with psionic assaults, and suddenly Broadsword pitches forward, his long nose transforming as he manifests bite of the wolf! Captain Cavedwarf lets out a terrific bellow as the lunging garen takes a chunk out of his side!

A confused battle ensues, with the halflings first trying to restrain the vicious animals. This works about as well as one would expect, with Blaze bucking free after they grapple him, and even when he’s being overborne by the halflings he keeps lashing out with his mental powers. Finally the halflings resort to lethal blows. The angry dwarven friend of the clan has been less shy about doing so, and he lays about with his greatclub, dropping Broadsword, but Blaze seizes control of Brother He’s body and starts using him as a weapon! Mama puts an end to that by commanding Brother He to “Fall!”

In the end, the heroes put the other mad animal down without too much trouble; though several of them are wounded, none of them are seriously injured. (Of course, Mama and Trinia have both already expended some healing.) An investigation into the strange animals is rather instructive.

“Crystals,” Ed says.

They look with surprise at the crystals they found stuck in the two garens’ foreheads. They’ve seen them before- when they dealt with the menace of the Dragonstone, and especially that horrible moment when the goblin hammered one into the child’s head back in Copperdeath’s lair.

“It made them smart,” Federico realizes.

“Maybe we should hammer one into your head, dog!” Mama jokes.

Federico laughs nervously. “Oh, sure,” he offers, tilting his head back, and Mama pretends to strike the crystal into his forehead, intending to pull her blow at the last instant. Unfortunately, she misjudges and deals a fair wound to the poor kobold’s noggin.

The group heads back towards town, having found no sign of the missing dog. That evening they mostly sleep in the Three Legged Blink Dog inn, but Captain Cavedwarf sleeps out of town, and when he awakens he finds a dog curled up near him. Being a druid, he easily ascertains that it is the animal they seek. Amused, he hoists it up and takes it into town; the party meets up with him, amazed at his good fortune. Together the group returns the dog to an attractive teenage girl. She is overjoyed with happiness at its return, and the party learns that she tutors a local official (they actually already know this, but they’re happy to let her ramble on about it; they’ve already gathered from certain individuals around the town that ‘tutoring’ may be a euphemism for something a little more, shall we say, physical). She chatters for a while, and Mama tries to put herself in the back of the girl’s mind as a potential judge, hoping that pillow talk will influence the official she, ahem, tutors.

Trinia heads out of town for a while, meditating and burning incense. She fasts all day, then sends out the call at evening. By dawn of the next morning her new wolf has come to her, a little more aloof than Misha was and not yet willing to share his name. They lay down together for a few brief hours of sleep and then she heads back into town.

Today, she knows, is the day when the judges are selected. As she moves into town she sees a surprising bustle of activity- a stage is being set up, and tables, and chairs; as she walks by she sees a cheery fat human man roll a barrel of water out, no doubt to keep the judges’ palates clear.

“They’re setting up,” she tells the others, who are excited to hear it- especially Mama and Airhead Ed.

“I want to be a judge!” Mama gushes, thinking of the prestige.

Everyone heads out to the town square, interested in the proceedings, and happily the group finds a breakfast buffet being set up! For only 3 gold pieces each!

“All you can eat?” exclaims Trinia. “They didn’t reckon with halflings!”


Next Time: The judges are selected, the dog is kicked, and a gnoll is sighted!

 

[the Jester]

Who be the Judge?

Boy oh boy does Federico love bacon.

Though he clearly makes the locals a little uncomfortable, the kobold is having a blast. Bacon, mmm! Can’t go wrong with bacon! As he goes back for thirds he spots a kid trying to pickpocket someone, and hisses at the lad; and to Federico’s dismay, the kid goes crying for his dad. Federico scampers under a table and hides, managing to keep from being noticed or trampled for a few minutes; then he sees the kid’s dad smack the boy for wasting his time.

Federico is awash in a strange mix of guilt, anger and satisfaction that he doesn’t easily resolve.

“Oh that Edmund, drunk again,” the kobold hears someone at the table he’s hidden beneath comment.

After a time a tremendous line of would-be judges forms. Both Mama Flapjacks and Airhead Ed get dutifully into line. From the sidelines, Federico surreptitiously observes the panel that is doing the judge selection at work, then reports back to both Mama and Ed. “Seems like it’s about three parts old local buddies and one part reputation.”

“Well, we have been doing good deeds,” Mama replies primly.

“Maybe our outsider status will help,” Airhead Ed suggests loftily.

In the end, who can say what sways the judges? Certainly each of our halflings, in turn, is before the panel for a roughly equal amount of time, about three minutes. Each is asked more or less the same suite of questions about their qualifications and character; and in the end each is thanked and sent to wait for the panel’s decisions.

When the judges’ names are posted that evening and Mama’s is not one of them, she kicks Federico. “Stupid dog!” she grunts. “If it wasn’t for you they’d have elected me!” He tucks his tail between his legs and takes it.

This conveniently ignores the fact that Airhead Ed is on the list. One might argue that Federico’s presence weighed against them; yet Ed was elected. Nobody brings this up, of course; it would be impolitic.

“Yay, I’m a judge!” Ed crows.

Trinia says, “Well, the contest isn’t for a few days- what are we gonna do?”

“We could follow up on that treasure map,” suggests Federico.

The group agrees that that sounds like a pretty good idea, so soon they’ve struck out for a mountainous area southwest of Bellhold...


Next Time: Halflings vs. Gnolls!

 

[the Jester]

Gnollz!

A day of strenuous hiking, broken by many meals and snacks, culminates in our wee heroes entering a canyon. They camp there, and in the morning they move into and up the canyon, emerging on the top of a rough low ridge that runs like a half-grown beard on the face of the land.

“Following treasure maps is hard,” whines Federico.

The day is long and dusty; by afternoon, the party is pretty tired. They break for a snack, everyone enjoying the chance to sit down for a minute (most easily find large rocks suitable for sitting). Then they resume their march, a bit more well-spirited. Federico lighten the mood with his japes, riding his dog Ethel, which he purchased just before this expedition.

The group’s path leads them down into a wide gully. Scattered gravel and larger rocks make the group pick their way carefully; all around them, wherever the larger rocks have left enough space, there are gnarled bushes with thick, strong branches. The travel is fairly difficult, and then suddenly Federico spies movement-

“Gnolls!” he screams. Then he starts singing a jeering song. His reptilian finger is pointing ahead, and the rest of the group sees a trio of hyena-headed humanoids moving in their direction.

The gnolls have apparently already seen our heroes, for they release a volley of arrows before anyone else has a chance to react. The shafts sing through the air, and two of them pierce Ed in the arm and leg! “Aaargh!” she cries, staggering, her unwounded hand grasping at the arrow in her wounded arm in sudden shock. She bursts into tears. Then she drops, bleeding heavily.

Mama and Captain Cavedwarf both spring forward to aid Ed. The Captain reaches her first, and his druidic powers flow forth. Green, life-giving energy flows from him and the arrows pop free as her wounds knit and close up, leaving her bruised and tender but whole. Her eyes flutter open, and then Mama lays healing hands upon her as well.

Most of the rest of the group has moved up to attack the gnolls. Federico stops singing and casts a sleep spell, dropping one of the enemy; and Mama unlimbers her sling to give the advancing group a little cover.

Captain Cavedwarf roars his own name as an arrow bounces from his armor, and stops his movement forward, instead starting to gesture and chant. His voice rises in a long appeal to nature and then a dire rat appears next to the gnolls! With a loud squeak, it attacks! The Captain, meanwhile, summons a wolf as well, and with the two animals near them the gnolls begin falling back, shooting as they do! But they’re considerably disheartened when another wolf appears, this one summoned by Trinia, and joins the attack.

One of the gnolls drops when Captain Cavedwarf himself finally reaches the battle, swinging his heavy club into it. The gnoll staggers and a wolf tears it down from behind, ripping out its throat. The last gnoll standing is beleaguered, and finally yields.

Leaving our heroes with two gnoll prisoners.

“What are we going to do with them?” Trinia asks.

Nobody really seems to know.

“Well,” says Captain Cavedwarf after a moment’s consideration, “they attacked Ed and messed up her arm. Where I come from, in a case like this, we’d make ‘em serve you as your hand for a year and a day.”

“Serve me?” Ed exclaims.

“Ooh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Federico objects. “I don’t think it would be safe.”

The group argues for a few moments on the subject; then Mama makes a decision. “We’re not keeping them with us,” she says, and lets them go with a stern warning and a lecture delivered as only Mama can deliver it. The gnolls hang their heads in shame and skulk off, and the party moves quickly to vacate the hour in case the gnolls return with friends...


Next Time: What treasure does the map lead to??

 

[Lela]

“We’re not keeping them with us,” she says, and lets them go with a stern warning and a lecture delivered as only Mama can deliver it. The gnolls hang their heads in shame and skulk off. . .

*Blink Blink*

Go Mama, go!

 

[the Jester]

“This looks like the spot,” rumbles Captain Cavedwarf.

Our heroes are looking at the face of a cliff. There’s no obvious entrance, but a search soon turns up an overgrown cave entrance. Ed fairly dances in anticipation of loot.

Slowly our heroes proceed. The cave was obviously formed naturally, and then enlarged later. As the group advances the cave widens until it’s formed a chamber about 20’ in diameter. Rocks are strewn about the chamber; a few old crates and broken barrels are in the chamber as well. The place has the look of an underdeveloped and abandoned mineshaft; an uneven stone passage descends from it at about a 45 degree angle. As the party starts heading towards it-

“Look out!” cries Trinia. She already has her scimitar out, and as her puzzled companions watch, she swings at something in the shadows! Trinia grunts as her blade deflects off something hard and scaly.

A huge snake lunges forward. Its scales are patterned in brown and green diamonds, helping it to blend in to the rubble. Captain Cavedwarf springs onto a crate, then swings his greatclub, also missing. Ed, too, tries to poke the dire snake. For a moment the party’s numbers seem to intimidate the snake; but it’s just rearing back to strike, and in the blink of an eye it bites at Ed, who ducks away with a yell!

“Mama!” Ed wails, bursting into tears.

“Don’t worry, Mama’s here!” cries Mama Flapjacks, and she strikes mightily- but in the dimness, her aim is off, and she too misses!

Then both Captain Cavedwarf and Trinia land near-simultaneous blows. The snake heaves itself forward, snapping out, and its deadly fangs pierce Trinia! The druidess howls in pain, then screeches as it pulls her into its coils and adds constriction to her rapidly-growing list of problems!

“Trinia!” cries Ed, and finally manages to poke the snake. She manages to slip the tip of her rapier into the thing’s throat, through a weak-looking scale;* pulling her bloody blade free, she stays warily on guard.

The snake, half-blind with pain and blood loss, releases Trinia (who is now unconscious and no longer struggling) and lashes out. Ed screams again as it bites, poisons and grapples Mama, all at once! Things look grim!!

But then she plucks up her courage; after all, Captain Cavedwarf is still in there trying!

Still giving her someone to flank with.

Airhead Ed is, in fact, smarter than she lets on. Or is it braver? Either way, the results are the same. She stands fast, and as the snake lunges forward at her ally, she dances close to it and sticks her rapier in its midsection, piercing its heart!

As the snake dies Ed and the Captain move to aid their unconscious friends. In a few moments they’ve bound the worst of the wounds and ensured that nobody is going to die.

And then they bravely descend the passage, finding a cramped opening. Within it are a few hundred coins of different types and quite a pile of mundane equipment. Looking around, Captain Cavedwarf’s discerning dwarven eye spots a masterwork shield, but a detect magic shows no sign of any enchanted objects or spells in the area.

“Darn,” says Ed.

***

A few days of resting and travel sees our heroes back in Blackwood, and soon enough it’s time for the jam contest...



*Sneak attack (she was flanking, iirc).


Next Time: The jam contest! Enter the Yips!!

 

[the Jester]

Enter the Yips

The contest has begun. Music ripples through the air, the smell of pastries baking mingles with the scent of jam being warmed and readied to apply on said pastries. The judges are gathered at a series of long tables hung with garlands of spring flowers.

Mama is sulking, having taken herself away since she was rejected as a judge.*

While Ed, with the other judges, starts tasting the entries in the jam contest, Federico is working on a new series of fruit acts, involving everything from eating disgustingly rotten fruit to juggling them. He’s having a good time, and children are laughing at his antics; hopefully he won’t see the town drunk again.

***

Sandy has traveled long and hard to check into a few things for his benefactors. He’s got a lot on his mind, but he’s looking forward to rejoining his clan and seeing how everyone’s doing. He learned from the Bakeswells that the party was in Blackwood; so he set out at a determined pace, and now, a few days later, he can see the little town ahead. The road he is on winds between a few outlying farms and then up the hill on which Blackwood mostly sits. Sandy hasn’t been here before so he takes a moment to scrutinize the town. It’s a single-road town, and pretty much all the buildings are right along the road. It looks like there’s a single watch tower that has a sort of unused, abandoned look (Ah, the fall of empire, Sandy thinks) on the far side of the town square, which seems to have some kind of gathering going on. Whistling to himself, Sandy strides forward. Then he catches a glimpse of movement in the rows of corn to his left.

Glancing in that direction, he sees a pair of kobolds sneaking along. They don’t see him see them; so Sandy keeps walking, picking up the pace a little but not doing anything to give himself away. He flicks his eyes left and right-

There are more of them, he realizes.

Indeed, to either side he catches signs of several kobolds sneaking slowly into the town.

Sandy pauses for a moment. He shrugs out of his backpack, rifles through it, pulls out a blanket and cuts a piece free with his dagger. Using some wine, he paints a symbol on it: the nautical sign for ‘danger.’** Then he picks it up and rushes towards the square.

The kobolds stay under cover.

***

Ed is obviously enjoying herself. She’s sampled many jams already, and most of them are very good. A select few are far beyond that- for instance, that one-eyed feller’s apricot jam was remarkable!

But the Peachtree entry hasn’t come up yet.

Ed chats animatedly with the other judges as she waits for her chance.

Federico is keeping an eye on her from his position where he’s juggling fruit. He’s made quite a few of the humans laugh; it makes him happy to be able to bring humor to their day. He has quite a crowd, including Martini, which makes him easy for Sandy to spot.

“Federico!” Sandy cries as he runs up, his ‘danger’ sign undead by the ignorant folk all around. He leans close and quietly says, “There’s trouble!”

Quickly, Federico ends his act for the moment and he, Martini and Sandy move off. The stout fills the others in and they move towards the watch tower. “Does this place even have a guard?” wonders Martini.

Doesn’t look like it.

“How many are they?” the ranger asks.

“I’m not sure- I saw about four or five, but who knows how many I missed?”

Trinia emerges from the crowd, moving towards them with her wolf. The whole group climbs the ladder that leads to the tower’s platform. Looking out-

“There must be... at least a dozen of them,” Martini groans.

“Oh, I’m scared!” Federico whimpers. “We’ve got to warn the townsfolk!”

“You’re right.” Sandy grimly starts clambering down the ladder. “Maybe there are some warriors who can help us...”

Yeah, maybe. In this town of Blackwood, population 99.


*Actually, her player missed this game.

**Sandy is a stout; they like the water.


Next Time: The jam contest is most rudely interrupted!