Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way

[the Jester]

Yeah, I loved Mama.

Unfortunately, I'm a 'let the dice fall where they may' kind of dm, and so that's precisely what I did. I try really hard not to play favorites.

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

*sniff*

But she did her part up until then! She was a brave and courageous leader, and her turning of the undead in the first place probably saved the lot of them.

 

[threshel]

I'm crushed. Mama was such a great character. But, as is so often true when a party member is lost, I am looking forward to seeing what new character arrives. Mama was a PC, right?
Losing a PC is always bittersweet.

J

 

[the Jester]

Two new pcs, actually. This session we were joined by Elder James, who found us through ENWorld!

Anyway.......





***


8:30 am, 5/4/368 O.L.G., somewhere in the Stern Mountains, Strogass

The smoke from the halflings’ fire rises into the air. Despite the loss of Mama- a loss that affects our heroes deeply- life must go on, and it all begins with breakfast. The smell of cooking sausages and porridge rises, carried by the morning winds, out across the grassy valley, winding its way through the brush and tickling a sensitive nose.

The nose, of course, it attached to a face; that face to a neck, and that to a torso, and so forth. The face is dirty and unkempt, with hair matted with leaves and twigs; but the body is a familiar size. Could this be a wild halfling? Indeed it is. And following his nose, clutching a stick in one hand, the halfling cautiously creeps closer to our heroes’ small camp.

Smells tasty.

He tromps forward openly once he sees that they’re other halflings. He wonders if any of them are survivors from his tribe, but once he’s close enough to make out faces he realizes forlornly that it isn’t to be.

Still, at least they’re halflings.

“Hello,” a little voice pipes up as he approaches. He’s still acting cautiously, but he’s allowed them to see him.

But this one isn’t a halfling- it’s a dogling of some sort! It stands on two legs, but it looks like- ahhh, a kobold. Right.

The wild halfling pokes Federico with his stick.

“Uh- right,” sniffs Federico. He ponders for a moment, then rummages in his pack. He extends his hand, holding something... the wild halfling’s nostrils flare. “Uh, would you like a biscuit? It was baked by s-someone very important...” And the little kobold bursts wailing into tears.

The wild halfling pokes the biscuit with his stick.

***

By the end of breakfast the group has ascertained a little about their savage visitor, but not much. His name is Jawbreaker; he is traveling alone. Though he doesn’t seem lost, he seems directionless.

The party tells Jawbreaker dozens of stories about Mama Flapjacks. They let him sample many of her dishes- or at least, the ones that remain in their camp. The few last precious samples of her masterful cooking... There are many tears. Jawbreaker gnaws everything they give him and, though he listens to their stories, he doesn’t have much to say. But that’s okay; what the clan needs is not someone to tell them it’ll all be okay, but rather someone to listen to them. They need someone to pour it all out to, and- with his mouth full of food- Jawbreaker is that someone. Answering only in occasional grunts as he masticates, he plays his role perfectly.

After breakfast, the group sets out to examine their situation. Jawbreaker wanders along behind them picking his teeth and occasionally poking things with his stick. Federico continues to talk to him, now relating the tales of the group’s recent adventures. “So now we’re looking for this Asylum of Advanced Mental Treatment,” he finishes. “But we lost our guide, and now M-m-mama... we don’t know where we’re going! Can you help us?” he implores plaintively.

“Hmm,” grunts Jawbreaker. “Okay.” He shrugs.

The party examines the chasm. It’s deep; as a guess, the group estimates that it’s near to a mile down. There’s the bridge across it, but it must be a thousand feet to the bottom.

“That’s a long way down,” Airhead Ed murmurs.

“How are we gonna get down there?” Federico whines. “Not more c-climbing!” He shivers.

“We can start with the undead,” Trinia suggests. “Where did they come from?”

“We heard that noise before they came,” Federico remembers.

Brother He nods. “Like a great chain or something.”

“They obviously came from somewhere,” the kobold continues.

“But where?” wails Ed.

“Let’s have a look around,” says Trinia.

***

2 pm, 5/4/368 O.L.G., somewhere in the Stern Mountains, Strogass

The sun is high overhead by the time the halflings find what they’re looking for.

Clearly, a very crude attempt at camouflaging the entrance was made; but the assumption must have been that nobody was likely to be in the little valley in the first place. A rectangular box, painted green and covered with false grass and moss, thrusts from the ground. Once it’s in sight, it’s obviously artificial; but the many shrubs and tall grasses and boulders in the vale conceal it from view until the group is nearly on top of it. When they reach on it, Jawbreaker pokes it with his stick, then knocks on it; it seems to be made of wood.

“What do you suppose that is?” wonders Trinia.

“It’s some kind of entrance,” Federico answers.

“I bet it’s guarded,” Ed whines, and the group falls into a small discussion about how best to enter the place without being forced to sacrifice whoever is first. Jawbreaker snorts. He’s been chopping a fair amount of brush up with his axe, and now he begins dragging the wood towards the entrance. “Fire,” he grunts.

There’s a hatch on one end of the structure, with the handle obvious once the outer layer of false grass is lifted up. Brother He examines it and weighs the odds, but holds off for the moment while the clan’s new friend piles wood around the structure and squats down to start a small fire.

“Hey, that’s a good idea,” Federico observes. He sniffles, still riddled with sorrow over Mama.

The group lets the fire burn.

2:30 pm, 5/4/368 O.L.G., somewhere in the Stern Mountains, Strogass

Laodegan wipes his brow. It’s starting to feel like summer, even in the mountains. Not for the first time he curses his guide for having the effrontery to die without guiding him through the mountains. Laodegan, after all, is a very important man on a very important mission for an even more important man (Daddy).

Regardless, he’s lost in the mountains and it was starting to look like he would be getting hungry in another day or three. But now- well. Who can say, until he’s close enough to see; but there’s smoke rising, from something on fire.

He moves through the grass towards the fire. It looks controlled. Someone is lighting something on fire.

Hopefully, whoever isn’t on fire will be friendly and know their place.


Next Time: Laodegan meets the party and vice-versa! And not long thereafter bad things happen...

 

[the Jester]

Brother He Gets (in) the Shaft

4:30 pm, 5/4/368 O.L.G., somewhere in the Stern Mountains, Strogass

Our heroes watch the thing burn for quite some time, not realizing that someone else is watching them and listening to their conversation. The valley falls into shadow as the afternoon lengthens, and only then does Laodegan step out, satisfied that these halflings are neither murderous bandits nor a pack of thieves. Even if there is a kobold with them.

“Hello, there!” he calls out, approaching the group. They turn to see a tall human, well-dressed in armor blazoned with some sort of important-looking human heraldic stuff. An impressive sword is strapped across his back.

“Hello!” answers Federico cautiously. Jawbreaker grunts and picks up his stick. As the human newcomer enters the camp, the barbaric halfling pokes him. The human stops and looks at him in surprise.

“Oh, don’t mind him,” says Airhead Ed. “He does that to everything.”

Jawbreaker pokes Ed.

“You see?” she blathers on. “He does it to everything!”

“Yes, uh, I see...” He looks at them. They look like they’re traveling, so he asks, “Do you know the way around the chasm? I’m lost in the mountains- my guide had the nerve to go and die! And, uh, I don’t suppose you can help?”

“Your guide died, huh?” Brother He commiserates.

***

11 pm, 5/4/368 O.L.G.

Once the embers have cooled to a reasonable level- helped with many buckets of water- the group clambers into the passage. It leads to a room that evidently gets a reasonable amount of ventilation, for the air is hardly smoky at all. The place is carved from the stone of the mountain, and therefore the room did not burn; only the odd wooden entry hall.

The room is of a decent size, but empty, save for a shaft that descends. A rickety-looking ladder is fastened against the wall of the shaft with bent rusty nails. However, the ladder proves sturdy enough for the group to descend on. Brother He leads the way down, followed by Ed, and the ladder leads down for a long ways. He descends 50’, then 100’... and there is no end in sight, even to his darkvision.

At the 120’ depth, Brother He finds himself suddenly assaulted by a scimitar-wielding pair of skeletons crouched on a small landing beside the ladder. He is cut by one rusty blade before he even sees them.

As he feels warm blood trickle down his side, Brother He lashes out with a foot, crushing the first skeleton’s skull. Then he leaps into the next one, splintering it into dozens of bones.

“Are you all right?” calls Ed from above.

“Yes,” grits Brother He. He winces as he feels the cut in his side. “I got cut, but not too bad.”

The deep halfling clambers back onto the ladder and continues to descend.

***

Brother He’s voice floats up from the shaft. “There’s a landing!” he yells.

“Oh boy,” says Federico. He’s leaning up against his big dog Ethel. He looks imploringly at Laodegan. “Um, can you carry the dogs down? I’m too w-weak.”

Say what you will about him, Federico gives great puppy dog eyes.

Laodegan grumbles all the while, but he rigs a harness for the dogs and straps one of them in. Then he begins the descent. The ladder creaks ominously and the squirming dog certainly doesn’t make his job any easier, but nothing goes terribly wrong. He reaches the landing safely and unstraps the dog from his harness. It licks his hand.

“Whew,” he says, mopping his brow, and starts back up the ladder to get the next dog.

***

Another pair of skeletons awaits Brother He on another small landing just past the 300’ mark. All this climbing is going to get fatiguing before too long, and he still doesn’t see any end in sight.

The second pair of skeletons doesn’t catch him unaware; it’s the other way around. He leaps onto the landing and unleashes a flurry of blows at them all, knocking one down the shaft and destroying the other in a rapid exchange of fist vs. sword. The skeleton scratches him along the thigh, and he winces, but it’s just a scratch. He’s still doing okay.

“Second landing!” calls Brother He up the shaft.

***

“That you so much,” says Federico as Laodegan begins down the ladder to the second landing with Ethel. “Say, can you take me down too?”

Laodegan’s only response is a dirty look. He’s saving his breath for the climb.

***

Brother He rests for a few minutes before continuing down the shaft. This time he descends a much further distance without trouble. He can hear Ed clambering down about 10’ above his head.

Should have been paying more attention, he thinks with a shock. Something’s just stabbed him in the meaty part of his left leg from below... and it’s bad. He clenches his hands around the ladder and groans as the blood pumps from his severed artery...


Note: This blow took Brother He to 0 hit points. Which means that if takes any strenuous action, he’s taking a point of damage and losing consciousness.....

Next Time: Oh no! What will Brother He do? Can he save himself? Can anyone else?? And what’s at the bottom of the shaft?

 

[the Jester]

Descent into the Neversun Chasm

Brother He’s vision blurs as his lifeblood pours down his thigh. He grips the ladder with trembling hands and glances down.

“Are you okay?” he hears Airhead Ed call from just above him in the shaft.

The ladder creaks as He looks down. Below him the narrow shaft he is descending continues farther than his darkvision can see, but just below him is another small landing- and a skeleton with a spear.

If I try to climb away, he realizes, it will attack me, and I’ll pass out even if he doesn’t hit me. I’m too weak. And if I stay here, he’s going to stab me and kill me.

There is only one chance.

Brother He measures the gap with his eyes and drops off of the ladder, trying to tumble past the skeleton and make it onto the ledge. He loses consciousness as he twists away from the stabbing spear and smacks into the wall of the shaft, dropping away below.

“BROTHER HE!!” screams Ed, and begins wailing.

***

Midnight, between 5/4 and 5/5/368 O.L.G., somewhere in the Stern Mountains, Strogass


The group assembles at the first landing, where Laodegan has laboriously hauled all the dogs and wolves. He’s tired and sweating and in a foul mood.

“Can you help us get past the skeletons?” Federico asks in a wavering voice.

“Get past-? What?” Laodegan looks askance at Federico. “You’re mad! You’re all mad! Your friend just died down there, and for what? This is foolish! Let’s find a way around this, there has to be a better way!”

“Chasm,” Jawbreaker grunts.

Laodegan stares at him for a moment. “We can go around it,” he finally says. “Around this whole mountain if we have to! We-“

“We don’t even know how far the chasm extends,” Trinia sighs. “We know it cuts through the whole valley. This might be the best place to cross.”

“I tell you, it’s a fool’s errand!”

“Kill skeletons,” Jawbreaker snorts disdainfully. He laughs from his belly.

Laodegan shakes his head in exasperation. “I’m going to regret this,” he growls.

***

Down the shaft again. At least the dogs are still on the landing, so he won’t have to take them all the way again. Hell, he isn’t sure he’d be willing to, but he’s no quitter, so he’ll finish what he’s started.

Which makes him think of the messages in his pouch. Which makes him think of Daddy, which makes him think of the Dark Emperor of Strogass.

Where is he?

Laodegan and Jawbreaker break through the skeleton fairly easily, though the human takes a wound to the leg and the barbarian suffers a prick as well. Then it’s more shaft. Jawbreaker takes the lead.

“Could Brother He have survived the fall?” Federico asks in a quavering voice. “He was a monk...”

“He was unconscious,” Ed sniffles. Her tears start anew.

Finally, after another long descent, Jawbreaker emerges into a long chamber hewn from the surrounding stone. Weird fungi of various forms and colors grow everywhere. Carefully he advances into the room as the others follow him down.

Federico sees Brother He’s body, and his heart grows so heavy with sorrow that he nearly bursts into tears. Ed does so, of course. Brother He is clearly dead, his neck twisted at an extraordinary angle and his eyes wide open as if surprised.

Jawbreaker suddenly interrupts the group’s reverie with a shout. Those that have descended have gathered around their friend’s corpse, except for the barbarian, who has moved on the check for danger. It sounds like he’s found some.

But not much; in less time than it takes to tell the story, Jawbreaker, Trinia, Ed and Federico have finished their enemies: a pair of zombies covered in fungus.

“This place is creepy,” Federico mutters. He feels a little better when Laodegan arrives with Ethel, his loyal dog, but he’s still sad and scared and... and creeped out. This place is weird, it smells weird, it makes his head feel funny.

The halflings arrange Brother He’s body, leaving most of his meager possessions with his corpse. The only thing they take is his rainshield- that strange opening device sold him by the gnomish inventor. Federico sighs. Now he’s got both the last reminders of both Mama and Brother He. Well, except for Mama’s cooking stuff- of course they took that. That’s important.

When at last Laodegan has brought the last of the animals down and caught his breath- no mean feat- he took a look around of his own. The halflings, rightfully, were focused on their dead friend; so it fell to the human, grudgingly, to look after his new companions. Well, Laodegan was nothing if not loyal; that was one value instilled in him at a young age.

He gave them a little time to grieve, then strode over to the group and declared, “There’s a doorway over there. I think we need to get out of here. I’m not hauling those damn dogs up that ladder again, and I know it’s a hard time for you all here, but you need to pull it together. Wait until you’re safe to grieve.”

Humans. Always able to do what needed doing. No halfling clan could have pulled itself unaided out of its grief so quickly as a big folk giving them some stern shape-up and get with it sort of tough talking to. And that’s just what they got, and just what’s happened: they put their crying on hold (except for Ed), they hid their grief (except for the quaver in Federico’s voice) and they trooped over to the fungus-covered door.


Next Time: Federico communes with nature! Or something.

 

[threshel]

Why, why, why?

First Mama, now Brother He?
I need to sit down, I think I have something in my eye...

J

 

[Angel of Adventure]

Jester loves killing PCs!

A common thread in all of Jester's games is that he loves to kill his PCs. For better or worse, he doesn't play favorites and I've seen a lot of great PCs get buried over the years.

To my dead friend PCs, I tip my goblet filled with 4d6s for new stats and pour them out on your new character sheet, . . . and sigh.

 

[the Jester]

Federico and the Mushrooms

Laodegan pushes through the doorway, grimacing in disgust as spores puff up from the fungus. The group proceeds cautiously down a hallway that opens into a room full of thriving fungus, toadstools taller than the halflings, smuts growing on the ceiling- a veritable garden of weird life.

“C-creepy,” Federico moans in fear. Jawbreaker grunts.

Something moves.

Laodegan whips his sword out and glares ahead. A living mushroom, about 3’ tall, moves slowly towards the group.

“What the hell?” Martini exclaims.

Poof! A spray of spores washes over the group. Coughing, most of them back away, but Laodegan snarls through tearing eyes and hacks the mushroom creature down.

“Everyone okay?” asks Trinia.

The heroes nod. Federico looks a little funny; his pupils have gotten really big and he’s got a funny look on his face.

“Dog?” asks Sandy. “Are you-“

“Wow, man,” Federico moans. “It’s cool.” He grins and starts laughing. “They don’t want to hurt us.”

As the kobold talks, more of the creatures emerge from behind the fungus. Laodegan clasps the hilt of his sword firmly. He doesn’t like the looks of this. Glancing at the far side of the chamber he can see a thick-looking white fungal membrane covering what might be an exit. “Come on,” he urges the others, and starts towards it.

“It’s cool,” Federico says again, and gives out a contented sigh. “They can help us... it’s dangerous... unless we take... a spiritual journey...” He seems to be starting to ramble.

“We aren’t going on any kind of spiritual journey that involves breathing in those spores,” Laodegan replies firmly. He snarls, “If they won’t let us out, I’ll cut our way out.”

“No, no- no violence,” Federico says dreamily. “No violence. But the only safe way... it’s dangerous... there are things... eaters...”

“Then they better let us out.” The human gestures at the membrane. “Is that a door? Tell them to open it.”

“No, dangerous... might be... but they want to help...” The kobold’s ramblings seem tangential, at best, to the conversation, and Laodegan turns away in disgust.

Jawbreaker looks at the dozen or so mushroom folk uneasily. He sort of wants to eat them (mushrooms- yum!), but... they seem sentient. He pulls out his stick and walks up to one and pokes it. Firm, yet yielding- hmm. Looks delicious. Hmm....

“Tell them to back off,” Laodegan orders Federico, and starts hacking at the membrane. The mushroom creatures slowly withdraw. The kobold sighs heavily, looks slightly distressed, then sinks back into a smile.

The human’s sword cuts into the membrane again and again. Slowly he hacks an exit through it, and as he does he feels a wisp of wind and sees a hint of sunlight, but not much of it. After he carves a hole sufficient to allow him passage, he turns around.

”It leads to the bridge,” he says.

The group moves through the membrane; the mushroom folk remain at a small distance and make no hostile moves. Laodegan burns with an angry distrust for them. They want to get into my mind!

Leaving the fungus chamber behind our heroes find themselves at one end of a wind-swept bridge that crosses from one wall of the chasm to the other. They can see, below them, in the darkness, small huts. Not a single one of Jawbreaker’s burning bushes remains on the bridge. The sounds of some sort of drumming or clashing sound wafts up to the bridge. There are no lights. Federico staggers across the bridge to check out the far side, but he’s clearly under the influence of the spores and not completely right in the head at the moment.

“Why don’t we rest?” the kobold suggests. “I’m tired...”

The group agrees and settles in, setting watches. Federico, his head starting to clear a little- he’s past the psychedelic peak of the spore experience- offers to take the first watch. Laodegan grumbles, uncertain as to whether or not he can be trusted to stay awake, but in the end the others drift off while the kobold watches.

He sighs, thinking about lost friends. Brother He, Mama, Coco, so many of his friends, his clan mates...

He toys with the rainshields. He saved both Brother He’s and Mama’s, but... but they’re both gone. Perhaps...

Federico sighs. He can barely carry them anyway. He casts them over the edge of the bridge and bursts into tears.


Next Time: What dangers were the mushrooms talking about, anyway?

 

[the Jester]

The Eyeless Attack

4 a.m., 5/4/368 O.L.G., on the bridge in the Neversun Chasm, Strogass

Our heroes are sleeping soundly, despite the discordant drumming below them. That all changes when the monsters charge out of the darkness at the far end of the bridge, gibbering and japing.

“Rise!” screams Thelonious, who is on watch, and the others jerk awake in time to avoid being completely overrun and destroyed by the weird creatures. There are four of them coming in two pairs. As tall as a human, and upright like one as well, the beasts have skin the color of slate and stringy tangles of hair. They are ugly, with sharp teeth and, most unsettling, no eyes. They grip primitive stone axes eagerly as they rush forward.

Federico is struggling out of his blankets when the first pair falls on him, axes slicing into him and almost knocking him off the bridge. The kobold screeches as blood fountains from his chest and side, and he staggers back, moaning and crying, to cast cure light wounds on himself.

“No!” cries Thelonious. “Leave my friends alone!” Twang! An arrow shoots out, but the grey-skinned target jerks aside, and the missile whizzes past ineffectually.

Laodegan has reached the fight, his sword naked in his hand, and in the dim light from the torch set on the bridge he strikes one of the enemy down in a single blow. Then he and Jawbreaker advance on another even as Thelonious sinks an arrow into the third, which Ethel (Federico’s dog) drags to the ground and proceeds to tear literally to pieces. Jawbreaker thrusts with his spear, catching the one he and Laodegan are threatening in the groin, and drops it.

Only one remains, and it turns and flees. For now, our exhausted heroes let it go.

“What if it goes and gets more of them?” Federico wails. “Oh, I knew we should have listened to the mushrooms!”

“Listened to the-? No, I don’t think so! Are you crazy?” Laodegan kicks one of the corpses over to examine it while he talks. “Oh, that’s right- you are crazy. You’re all crazy. Why don’t we go back and go around this mad place and avoid it entirely?”

“Do you want to haul the dogs up again?” Thelonious asks reasonably.

“Your turn,” the other human replies flatly.

“Not run,” scoffs Jawbreaker. “Not coward.”

“We’ve come this far,” Thelonious adds.

“And we don’t even know how far the chasm goes, but it’s far,” Federico groans.

Laodegan sighs and sits heavily on the bridge. He is very tired; they all are. They’ve had only a very short period of rest. Not enough, certainly.

“All right,” he says at last. “We have come this far. But mind you, we’re going straight up and out on the far side of the bridge!”

“As soon as we rest,” Federico interjects. “I’m s-so tired.”

“Now look at this thing,” Laodegan continues, and the others cluster around the eyeless corpse. “Look at the size of those ears and that nose.” He smiles thinly. “We should try to put together some pepper and spices and make as much noise as possible.”

Below them, in the valley at the base of the chasm, the sounds of the drumming seem to pick up a bit. There’s a new sense of enthusiasm to them.

“I don’t think,” Thelonious sighs slowly, “we have time to rest.”

“Oh no,” moans the kobold. “The one that got away told his friends!”

Our heroes drag themselves up and quickly gather their meager possessions. This takes only a minute or two. Then they head to the other side of the bridge to investigate. The question in their minds is a simple one: how do we go up and out? But sadly, the only path seems to lead down through the mountain towards the base of the chasm.

“Well,” Thelonious says.

For a moment silence reigns; then Federico cries out, “Wait- look!” He gestures and the others crowd around to look.

A short distance away from them- but certainly out of reach without extreme climbing skill- is a treacherously narrow stair, carved into the side of the chasm. It seems to lead from the bottom... up. It’s impossible to see how far up it goes, but it surely leads to something.

“Should we risk it?” Thelonious asks.

“Do we have a choice?” Laodegan asks in return, wryly.

And just as the group is readying to head down the path into the side of the cliff, a small figure rushes out towards them. It’s mounted on a riding dog and it’s just the right size to be a halfling...

“Look out!” the newcomer cries, in a high, clear voice. It’s a young halfling lass. She leaps from the back of her dog. “They’re coming!”

“Who are you?” demands Laodegan, and the grimlocks come.


Next Time: The grimlocks assault our heroes! Who is the halfling lass? And can the way down possibly be easy?