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Of Sound Mind the Halfling Way

SeldomSeen

Explorer
Haha! That session was awesome. I loved marrying off Federico after Jawbreaker had spent time in an unsavory forced marriage. Then the treasure map, that about killed me. Hands down, Worst. Treasure Map. EVER. I dearly hope that one day some adventures toil over that map, spending thousands of gold on divinations and travel only to find a chest full of copper. I also had great fun turning that poor goblin captive into federico's new pack animal. They took away Ethel, it's only fair they replaced her!
 

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SeldomSeen

Explorer
Dang, yet another update as I wrote my post! Hopefully, we will end up with buried Chief Jawbreaker treasure all over Cydra, with each succesive chest of copper convincing people that the REAL treasure is buried elswhere. Also, I guess we just left the load of spices on Dogtooth Island. We never found the huge diamond that was rumored to be around either. Jawbreaker doesn't really know why they left the Islands, after all, they had everything a halfling could want. Plenty of wild Bacon, exotic fruits, fish, goblins to subjugate, and giants to provide a challenge.
 

Brain

First Post
Oh yeah, we left "Ethel 2" with the tribe of goblins that had the idol. "Ethel 2" liked it there better than with the party, and Timothy wouldn't let the party enslave a goblin (although some of the ones with black auras wanted to)
 

the Jester

Legend
Riding the Whale

6/11/369 O.L.G., at sea

Our heroes meet up with Weeweerinwee the whale at the appointed time, spotting him by his blowhole. After some banter with him, he reveals that he’s actually a she. Whoops. How’s a halfling to know?

“It’s ooooookaaaaaay,” the whale says, “I can’t teeellll about yooooouuu eiiiiither.”

The party spent several days constructing a harness that will slip over the whale’s body and fit over her flukes. They attach themselves to it and ready themselves for a whale riding experience unlike anything they have ever experienced. They have food on hand, fresh water and wine- they’re ready.

“How long do you suppose this is going to take?” wonders Naomi.

“A feeewww daaaaayys,” the whale answers.

Then she begins to swim forward. The vines woven into lines holding our heroes fast behind the whale grow taut and our heroes are pulled through the water. At first it’s fun; but after an hour it’s brutal. The party gasps for breath as the whale moves quickly through the water just below the surface. The bump along the surface, constantly battered by waves.

By the time they’ve been out for a day, all of them have sunburns. They have also discovered how hard it is to eat when moving through the water. Federico tries to keep their spirits up by cracking jokes, but the little kobold can only go so far.

The grueling journey lasts three days and two nights. By the time it’s nearly over, our heroes are ready for it to have been over for a long time. It’s incredibly hard on them, leaving them all fatigued and groaning. When Weeweerinwee explains that they have to swim the last little way ashore- it’s too dangerous for her to go closer to shore or to approach a boat- they have a nice big taste of despair. But they can see the beach- they’re so close! Timothy casts fly on himself and Thelonious, who carries Beau and pulls Naomi with a rope. The more fit Martini and Jawbreaker swim in, though at the end Martini nearly flounders, and Thelonious makes an unseen, half-hearted attempt to take the helmet from him. But he lets the opportunity pass as Martini recovers and finishes his journey to shore.

Gasping, exhausted, our heroes stumble up the beach past the high tide mark and collapse behind a sandy embankment. It’s late morning; when they wake up it’s evening. They build a fire and cook a meal, then plan to rest and finish drying out. Tomorrow they will set out and look for civilization.

But in the night, Beau notices a distant scarlet glow coming closer. Pointing it out to his friends, he wonders what it is.

Whatever it is is approaching.

A voice booms out of the darkness before them. ”BOW BEFORE DHALI!!” it shrieks.

“Uh-oh,” says Timothy.

Striding forward is what seems to be some sort of living volcano.

Next Time: On Dyshim, our heroes face a living volcano! Get a little better idea of where they are next time as they look around and find out more themselves!
 

the Jester

Legend
Looks like time for another roll call... as I was working on the next update, I realized that three of our heroes now have just reached prestige classes!

Martini: fighter 2/ranger 3/order of the bow initiate 1 (overall 6th)
Timothy: sorcerer 6/exalted arcanist 1 (overall 7th)
Naomi: psion 5/elementalist 1 (overall 6th)
Beau: rogue 4/sorcerer 3 (overall 7th)
Thelonoius: (human) ranger 3/fighter 1 (overall 4th)
Jawbreaker: barbarian 6 (overall 6th)
Achtung: urd fighter 3 (overall ECL 4)
Federico: kobold bard 4/sorcerer 2/jester 1 (overall 7th)
 

the Jester

Legend
The Living Volcano

It’s as if someone has shrunken a volcano to the size of an ogre, ripped it out of the ground, stuck stocky legs below it and given it arms of stone. A flare of light emits from the top of the cone; its ‘face’ seems to be across its entire body. Glowing eyes and a mouth full of fire fill its ‘torso’ (for lack of a better term).

“BOW BEFORE DHALI!” the living volcano roars again.

Timothy slows it and draws his dagger. He’s shaking in fright. The volcano roars slowly as the spell takes hold; and then Thelonious and Martini start firing at it. Martini feels as though he’s achieved new insights into his bow as he lands a telling arrow in the volcano’s center.*

With another slow roar, the living volcano erupts. Flames and burning rock and ash blast out in all directions. Naomi and Thelonious are far enough back not to be caught in the explosion, but the rest of the part is. Timothy staggers away, coughing, and casts a magic missile that hurts the volcano, but it is far from defeated. Then the volcano charges in at Timothy, swinging its basalt arm in a terrific blow that blackens the sorcerer’s eye and nearly knocks him from his feet!

“Take this, creature!” Naomi cries, and forces it to recall agony from a past wound. It roars, and then Timothy touches it with a shocking grasp, further angering it. Beau backs away from the enraged monster and tries to cast a magic missile at it. Unfortunately, his armor, light as it is, interferes with his movements and spoils his spell. He lets out a colorful series of halfling curses as the monster aims another blow at Timothy (who is barely standing)! Fortunately the blow misses. Timothy tries another shocking grasp but he misses, then staggers behind Naomi.

Mindful of the irony, she says, “Don’t worry, Timothy- I’ll protect you!”

Meanwhile, more arrows are smacking into the basalt body of the living volcano. It roars again as Beau finally manages a successful magic missile. The living volcano rushes in, bellowing, and strikes Naomi a powerful blow across the shoulder.

Skreeeeee!

Naomi sags back, more than half-dead. But to her satisfaction, her sonic energy retort did its job and gave her a little time! The volcano’s surface shows cracks now; its inner glow is starting to show through from within. “Take that!” she shrieks at it, hitting it with the strongest mind thrust she can muster.

The living volcano staggers back and collapses. Slowly the burning magma within it begins to hiss and cool.

“Well, we can’t eat that,” notes Beau.

***

6/12/369 O.L.G., the Sere Lands, Dyshim

Morning wakes our heroes gently. There’s a nice breeze from the east, where the sea is. If only any of us had any idea where we’re going, Martini thinks ironically.

The land here is golden-brown with dried grass. Flat plains spread for miles in all directions, bordered by the sea on the one hand and a distant chain of mountains on the other, dotted with scrubs and olive trees. The grasslands prove full of abundant life, from hares to wolves. Many birds spiral above the planes, and at one point our heroes see something else, something bigger, in the distant sky. The climate is warm, and the lands- at least on this side of the mountains- are fairly dry. There is a lot of wind. There also seems to be some active volcanism on the isle.

The group rests a day to recover from their battle with the living volcano. The next day the band travels inland. Throughout the day they watch for any signs of civilization, but they see nothing. At one point, they are ambushed by an ill-fated pair of harpies, but although they charm Timothy and Jawbreaker, Thelonious and Beau shoot the filthy bird-women down.

***

6/15/369 O.L.G., 3:30 p.m.

The big lizard is roasting up nicely. Jawbreaker grunts in satisfaction. Smells good, too- better than a lot of the crap he sometimes eats. Chief Jawbreaker smacks his lips. Times are good.

Suddenly Beau springs back, crying, “Look out!”

“Wha-“ starts Naomi, and the ground beneath her heaves upward. She gives a surprised shout, and suddenly something very big bites down on her leg.

“LANDSHARK!!!” shouts Beau.

Next Time: Our heroes fight a bullette!


*Martini has now taken his first level as an order of the bow initiate.
 

hippiejedi2

First Post
Before our halfling heroes left the Dogtooth Isles, we encountered a group of goblins. Timothy thought diplomacy wouold be an adequate route, but Beau being the CE goodness that comes w/it decided sneak attack , kill em, and take any treasure would be more advantageous and profitable. While many goblins and company died some lived much to Beau's chagrin. Before every sneak attack Tim implored peace, but Beau was well hidden and had his own ideas, besides Tim was only the advisor of Chief Jawbreaker.

The escape from the Dogtooth Isles was bittersweet the party misunderestimated the words of the whale, Weeweerinwee, I'll take you back to civilization as I'll tow your rigger, not to invent the sport of water skiing. We made it safely to shore, so after second breakfast all was forgiven.
 
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the Jester

Legend
Landshark!!!

What could possibly be more terrifying than this?

The huge monster emerges from the ground in a spray of soil and rocks. Naomi screams in fear and tries to mind thrust it, but in her panic she fails to keep her guard up and it bites her savagely, shaking her from side to side and tossing her down, only to savage her again! She screams in terrible pain as its broad teeth grind down on her chest, almost crushing her sternum. It chomps down and she convulses into unconsciousness.

Beau backpedals, casting a ray of enfeeblement on the landshark. Its terrible red eyes glare at him as a tiny portion of its strength drains away. Then Jawbreaker rushes forward, taking a bite on the arm as he does, and swings his sword at the huge monster. A scarlet line appears across the creature.

Cursing, Beau tries another ray of enfeeblement, but his armor interferes with his movement. He fails to get it off and curses again. Who can blame him? This is the second time recently that his armor has foiled a spell. He vows then that he’ll remove that damn armor soon. Taking a deep breath, the budding sorcerer fires yet another ray of enfeeblement at the bullette, and this time it is a little more effectual.

The monster snorts like a bull and bites Jawbreaker, then butts him with its head to get him out of the way. He staggers back and the bullette rushes towards Beau. “Oh no!” he squeaks, and he tries to run away, but it bites him on the leg and gives him a massive shake. The thing spits him to the ground in front of it and bellows, obviously about the administer the finishing touch, when Jawbreaker jams the tip of his sword into it from behind. It bellows again, but Beau quickly and defensively casts shocking grasp. As the bullette whirls to once again face the mighty Jawbreaker, Beau reaches out and touches its genitals. ZZZOT!!! The bullette bellows again and staggers. Beau rolls away, and just in time, as Timothy casts a fireball! The bullette is blasted into instant death.

“Whew! That was close!” exclaims Beau.

Our heroes quickly check on Naomi. She’s still breathing weakly, so they bandage her wounds tightly, staunching the flow of blood from her wounds. “We need cleric,” remarks Jawbreaker.

Next on the list of things to do is eat. After that, Jawbreaker declares, he will skin the beast. “Maybe spend couple days here,” he states.

***

6/16/369 O.L.G., 4 p.m.

Certainly, our heroes are enjoying the chance to sit around and rest their feet. Jawbreaker hums happily as he works on the tough job of skinning the monster. It’s huge, and its skin is tougher to work with than anything he’s ever experienced. It is almost more like working wood than skin.

When he looks up, the gnolls are just outside the camp.

Jawbreaker freezes, then drops his skinning knife. He calmly draws out his sword. They don’t seem hostile- yet.

The gnolls look like upright, bipedal hyenas. In Jawbreaker’s opinion, gnolls are stupid, lazy, mangy, worthless creatures. But there are a... reasonable number of them here. Maybe they can avoid a fight.

One of the gnolls says something, but it’s in a tongue nobody understands. There are a few minutes of confusion as they seek for a common language, and eventually they settle for dwarven, which one or two members of each side can speak. It develops that the gnolls are very curious about what happened to the landshark.

“We kill it,” Jawbreaker guffaws. Clearly the gnolls are impressed. However, this is their land (they claim).

“Tell you what,” Jawbreaker grunts, “you give us passage and directions out of your land, we give you bullette.”

This is a trade where everyone wins. The gnolls tell our heroes that other folk like them live beyond the mountains to the west, and then beyond the jungles west of the mountains. Jawbreaker grunts again, this time acknowledging a piece of good news.

The next morning our heroes move bright and early towards the mountains. They set a good pace, and though they stop to eat, they do not stop to eat as many times as usual. As a result they eat an extra big dinner that night, in the shadow of the mountains. “Tomorrow we’ll be in the mountains,” Timothy remarks.

The sun goes down. Watches are set. Sleep draws down over our heroes like sand over a desert city.

Next Time: Paralyzed!
 

the Jester

Legend
Paralyzed!

6/17/369 O.L.G., 1 a.m., in the shadow of the mountains, Dyshim

”TURKEY!!!!”


The cry in the night wakes our heroes, except for Beau, who was on watch and is under furious assault by two giant insects that look remarkably like great wasps or hornets of some kind. As the other struggle to their feet, he dashes away from one to slash at the other.

“Where is the turkey?” Timothy cries naively. “The bugs have taken it! Bad bugs!” He casts slow at them, but to his surprise they both resist it. One of the wasp things stabs at Beau with its wicked stinger, but again he flips adroitly away from it. The other one flies over to Naomi, who has managed to open her eyes and sit up, but she’s still entangled in her bedroll. The wasp-thing’s stinger jabs into her belly. She gasps in pain as she feels venom pump into her. She wrenches herself back and away, feeling nauseated. The bug stings her again, jamming its stinger into her chubby thigh. She tries to manifest a power defensively, but she’s in too much pain; and it just looks like it’s going to get worse. “Help!!” she screams.

Beau glances her way but he’s too busy dodging the stinger of his antagonist at the moment. With a grimace, he casts a spell. He can fight back, at least. He touches the mad insect that’s trying to prick him with its stinger and there is a smell of ozone and a crackle of electricity. It jerks as the shocking grasp jolts through it. Then he steps back and casts an enfeebling ray at the one predating on Naomi. It writhes as it loses some of the strength in its limbs. Then he has to focus fully on his opponent again as it buzzes in at him.

Jawbreaker, meanwhile, has thrown off his blanket and rushed in to prevent Beau’s bug from a move towards Naomi as well. He stabs at it with his longspear, wounding it badly, just as a fireball detonates on the one attacking Naomi. It gives another wild jab at her with its stinger, but thanks to the ray of enfeeblement it misses!

“Don’t worry, Naomi! I’ll protect you!” Timothy strides forward boldly, his lips already beginning to mutter the words to another spell. A flaming sphere, then another fireball, as the hornet-like monster tries to flee; but then it turns and swoops back towards the party!

Beau and Jawbreaker are now flanking the other wasp, however, and with a sneaky blow to the eye with a shocking grasp Beau manages to kill it. Gasping for breath, he turns to aid Timothy and Naomi with a magic missile.

One of them is down, thinks Naomi grimly as she fails to manifest power after power.* Finally, as it closes in (now burning from Timothy’s mighty fireballs), she manages to focus enough to get one right. A recall agony forces it to relive the fireball it just experienced, and it spasms and dies.

“Ow, that sucked really bad,” Naomi groans. She drags herself to her knees. Her vision is swimming. “I can’t feel my legs. I think I’m poisoned. Can anyone...” She gasps- and collapses, unmoving.

“Naomi!” exclaims Timothy. “Oh no! Is she okay?”

Jawbreaker examines her. Her finds no signs of life. “She dead,” he says sadly, and begins to dig a grave for her. It is only when Timothy realizes that she still has an aura with his magic spectacles that they check again. She still looks good and dead; but then she mindlinks with Jawbreaker to tell them she’s only paralyzed. At first he thinks that spirit voices are talking to him, and he pokes himself in the head with a stick. Then, once she explains, he relaxes. In the end, he builds a sling for her and ties her to his back to try it out.

“Fat girl,” he comments as he hefts her. She beams inwardly.**

The party ends up resting a full day, but unfortunately she remains paralyzed. “I wonder how long this is going to last,” wonders Timothy.

Me too, Naomi thinks.

The time passes uneventfully, except for a few hairy moments when Jawbreaker nearly chokes Naomi to death trying to feed her.

***

6/20/369 O.L.G., 5 p.m., on Split Peak

Our heroes have moved into the mountains. Though they don’t know it, the mountain chain is called Dhali’s Fists.

In the sky, exchanging glimpses of each other with the party, is some sort of large winged creature.

“Whatever it is, if it come close enough, Jawbreaker eat it.” The Chief guffaws.

Naomi, alas, can still not move. She can communicate with the others via mindlink but she’s snarky, bored and irritated. I hope this wears off! she tells Beau telepathically. I hope I’m not paralyzed forever!

***

6/21/369 O.L.G., noon, the foot of the mountains

Our heroes have broken through the mountains, and now, ahead and below, a jungle spreads before them. It looks wet, hot, thick, steaming. The vegetation seems almost stepped into layers, from near the ground to high above. Even at this distance they can smell the strange perfumes produced by the alien flowers within. Here and there the party can make out a flash of movement: birds, monkeys, something hooved.

Another hour and they enter under the canopy. The air grows thicker, more humid. The temperature rises. Moisture is everywhere. Flowers, too. Little streams cut the ground everywhere, and some places the ground is nearly soft enough to be a marsh.

Jawbreaker leads the way, probing cautiously with his stick. However, it is from above that a voice hails.

”Who goes there?” it cries, in Strogassian.

Our heroes look up. Dressed in mottled greens and browns, an elf is covering them with a bow.

“What are you?” the elf asks. “You look like humans, but you’re too small to be any human I’ve ever seen.”

“Hello, sir elf!” Timothy declares, “We’re a band of halflings!”

“Halflings?” The elf frowns. “What is a halfling?”

“Well,” says Beau, “a halfling is like a human should be, just as a half-elf is what an elf should be.”

The elf’s face turns as red as a tomato, contorting angrily. He vanishes back into the woods.

“Wait, I don’t think that came out right,” mutters Beau.

***

Things get ugly after that. The jungle is a hotbed of disease. In a few days, Timothy, Naomi and Beau all get the dreaded disease known as the buzzing bowels. “Oh, crap,” moans Beau. Jawbreaker continues to care for Naomi, feeding and cleaning her, but he tries to rig her up so that she doesn’t need such constant maintenance. (Once it becomes clear that the party is ill, they camp out to try to get past the disease.)

Boy, isn’t it funny how, just when you think things couldn’t get any worse- they do?

Next Time: Things get worse!

*Over the course of a six round fight, Naomi failed, for one reason or another, to manifest three powers. She was asleep for two rounds at the start.

**To a halfling, of course, ‘skinny’ is a strong insult, while ‘fat’ is praise.
 

Brain

First Post
I had forgotten about the elves. Maybe things wouldn't have gotten so much worse if we had befriended them. Weren't there some dwarves in the Mountains also that we didn't manage to get along with too?
 

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