the Jester
Legend
“He’s gone,” Nara says, a tear in her eye.
“Well-” Erasmuz pauses. “Not necessarily.”
“Do you have the diamonds to raise him, too?” asks Ari.
“No, no, no. I was thinking of something else entirely.” The ur-priest beams wickedly. “Remember the giant skeleton we had for a while?”
“NO!” Ari barks.
“You should, you were there. Remember, off the north coast of-”
“I remember just fine,” the druid cuts Erasmuz off. “We’re not going to animate him.”
“Hey, I think it’s a good idea!” Naomi ejaculates.
“Of course you do. No. Not only was he a friend, not only is it pretty well against nature- but I really don’t think that will help us earn our way into the Promised Land.”
Erasmuz sighs. “Fine, have it your way.”
“Well, what now, then?” asks Naomi.
“Who are ‘githyanki’?” asks Jawbreaker.
Everyone falls silent for a few moments. “Never heard of them,” admits Ari.
“Well, maybe we haven’t,” Erasmuz declares, “but I bet I know someone who has!” With a flourish, he pulls forth a wand and gesticulates with it. There is a puff of smoke as a halfling bard appears!
“Hello,” Erasmuz says.
The bard looks around, obviously surprised. “Hello,” he answers uncertainly.
Erasmuz grins. “Hey, buddy, no need to worry,” he reassures the bard. “We’re the Halfling Action Militia- Clan Ham. We just want to ask you a few questions.”
“Uh, okay.”
“What can you tell us about the Promised Land?”
“Not much,” the bard replies.
“Aren’t you from there?”
“No,” the bard answers, sounding surprised. “You aren’t in the Promised Land yet. Your wand summons a bard from the surrounding area.”
“How did you know about my wand?” Erasmuz demands.
“It’s in your hand.” The bard shrugs.
“Well, you’ve got me there,” admits the ur-priest. “But you still seem to know a lot.”
“Hey, I’m a bard.”
“Still...”
The bard shrugs eloquently.
***
According to Dandybright (which turns out to be the bard’s name), githyanki are a strange race descended from humans that were enslaved by mind flayers. After many generations, they grew psionically powerful and, eventually, broke free of the illithid tyranny. By the time all was said and done, they had migrated to the Astral Plane- which, as the party’s guide had said with his dying breaths, is a timeless plane... with no food or need to eat.
A Halfing Hell, if ever there was one.
Worse yet, according to Dandybright, the githyanki had somehow forged a terrible alliance with red dragons.
“Dragons!” exclaims Ari.
“We have to help other halflings,” Jawbreaker says firmly. “We kill githyanki and dragons. We do whatever we have to.”
The guide’s last words repeat in the party’s minds: What is it worth to you? You must now show it.
“I’ll fight to the death,” Naomi says firmly.
Erasmuz is lost in a dark chain of thoughts. What if, he wonders, to get in, we must die?
Naomi hisses in surprise. “Look!” she exclaims, pointing to the sky.
Three large, blood-colored winged forms are patrolling over the woods not far from our heroes.
The party darts under cover. They will have ample opportunity to do battle; but they all agree, let it be on their terms.
Jawbreaker grunts.
“What is it, Chief?” asks Ari.
“Watch them. Figure out where ground troops go. Then ambush,” Jawbreaker replies.
“I’m on it,” Ari says. He turns into an eagle and flaps his way into the sky. He stays clear of the dragons but soon returns with a report of where a fairly small party of githyanki are.
“We need to be careful,” Naomi reminds the others. “If they’re psionic, they can probably call for help from their friends telepathically.”
“Let’s go,” Jawbreaker commands.
The party moves out. Guided by Ari, they attempt to intercept the enemy’s path far enough ahead of them that they can set up an ambush. They conceal themselves along the edge of the path that the githyanki are following, with Ari scouting in eagle form to ensure that they are in the right place- and to ensure that they are able to cast preparatory spells at the right time. Soon the eagle alerts the others that the foe is near; everyone casts spells, manifests powers and otherwise prepares themselves.
Once the githyanki are on the path right in front of where the party lies in wait, the trap springs! Erasmuz opens the combat with a destruction, which reduces one of the githyanki to black ash. The battle is then truly joined, with the other githyanki fighting for their lives against a terrific halfling onslaught. Fire storms, fireballs, massive axe blows and more- our heroes unleash a terrific amount of punishment on the sallow-skinned githyanki.
They reply in kind. The githyanki are no novices to combat; they are deadly warriors and warlocks. The yellow-skinned creatures wield deadly, wavy-bladed bastard swords, and soon they drip with halfling blood. The githyanki arcanists fire strange eldritch energies at the party, seeking to bring them down. For a few moments the melee looks evenly matched, but then Nara catches one of the githyanki with an impeding permission spell, and that seems to turn the tide.
Then one of the githyanki flees out of the melee, then stops, concentrating. Naomi’s nostrils flare as she detects the scent of burning metal in the air, and she realizes what’s happening. “He’s communicating telepathically!” she exclaims. “We have to kill him, fast!”
“I’ve got it,” Erasmuz says, and casts another flame strike stolen from one god or another. The githyanki is blasted down and destroyed in a pillar of holy fire.
“But was it in time?” Nara wonders.
Ari kills another of the githyanki with a combination of bolts from a call lightning, but even as he does so, he gives a loud, despairing eagle cry. At least one of the mounted dragons is now headed for the battle scene.
On the ground, our heroes finally put the rest of the githyanki party to the sword. Panting, they wipe their weapons and brow. “Now what?” wonders Naomi.
“Psst! Over here!” cries a voice in Halfling.
The party turns to look. The Acorn brothers, the halflings that our heroes met during the Trial of Drinking and that defeated the party in the Trial of Cleverness, are standing next to a shimmering portal.
“Well, come on!” cries Nullick Acorn. “We have to get out of here. This portal will take us back to the outside world.”
“We can’t abandon the Promised Land to these... these no-eaters,” declares Naomi, jiggling her many chins angrily.
“You fools, you can’t defeat them all! There are too many of them, and dragons!”
“You’ll die,” Torck Acorn adds. “This isn’t worth your lives.”
“Yes it is,” Chief Jawbreaker snorts. “Promised Land is here, now. We not run. You run away.” He glares at them. “Pussies.”
“There are more githyanki coming,” Torck says. “The portal is here. You can go through it any time to escape.” He glances skyward and grows pale. Just then, a large shadow moves across the part as something red flies overhead, and with a strangled cry, he darts through the portal and vanishes.
“Please, do the smart thing!” pleads Nullick, and then he leaps after his brother.
“Never,” Naomi says severely. “I will never do the smart thing!”
Next Time: The last halfling update! Will our heroes stand against the githyanki and the dragons? Will they reach the Promised Land? Find out- next time!!
“Well-” Erasmuz pauses. “Not necessarily.”
“Do you have the diamonds to raise him, too?” asks Ari.
“No, no, no. I was thinking of something else entirely.” The ur-priest beams wickedly. “Remember the giant skeleton we had for a while?”
“NO!” Ari barks.
“You should, you were there. Remember, off the north coast of-”
“I remember just fine,” the druid cuts Erasmuz off. “We’re not going to animate him.”
“Hey, I think it’s a good idea!” Naomi ejaculates.
“Of course you do. No. Not only was he a friend, not only is it pretty well against nature- but I really don’t think that will help us earn our way into the Promised Land.”
Erasmuz sighs. “Fine, have it your way.”
“Well, what now, then?” asks Naomi.
“Who are ‘githyanki’?” asks Jawbreaker.
Everyone falls silent for a few moments. “Never heard of them,” admits Ari.
“Well, maybe we haven’t,” Erasmuz declares, “but I bet I know someone who has!” With a flourish, he pulls forth a wand and gesticulates with it. There is a puff of smoke as a halfling bard appears!
“Hello,” Erasmuz says.
The bard looks around, obviously surprised. “Hello,” he answers uncertainly.
Erasmuz grins. “Hey, buddy, no need to worry,” he reassures the bard. “We’re the Halfling Action Militia- Clan Ham. We just want to ask you a few questions.”
“Uh, okay.”
“What can you tell us about the Promised Land?”
“Not much,” the bard replies.
“Aren’t you from there?”
“No,” the bard answers, sounding surprised. “You aren’t in the Promised Land yet. Your wand summons a bard from the surrounding area.”
“How did you know about my wand?” Erasmuz demands.
“It’s in your hand.” The bard shrugs.
“Well, you’ve got me there,” admits the ur-priest. “But you still seem to know a lot.”
“Hey, I’m a bard.”
“Still...”
The bard shrugs eloquently.
***
According to Dandybright (which turns out to be the bard’s name), githyanki are a strange race descended from humans that were enslaved by mind flayers. After many generations, they grew psionically powerful and, eventually, broke free of the illithid tyranny. By the time all was said and done, they had migrated to the Astral Plane- which, as the party’s guide had said with his dying breaths, is a timeless plane... with no food or need to eat.
A Halfing Hell, if ever there was one.
Worse yet, according to Dandybright, the githyanki had somehow forged a terrible alliance with red dragons.
“Dragons!” exclaims Ari.
“We have to help other halflings,” Jawbreaker says firmly. “We kill githyanki and dragons. We do whatever we have to.”
The guide’s last words repeat in the party’s minds: What is it worth to you? You must now show it.
“I’ll fight to the death,” Naomi says firmly.
Erasmuz is lost in a dark chain of thoughts. What if, he wonders, to get in, we must die?
Naomi hisses in surprise. “Look!” she exclaims, pointing to the sky.
Three large, blood-colored winged forms are patrolling over the woods not far from our heroes.
The party darts under cover. They will have ample opportunity to do battle; but they all agree, let it be on their terms.
Jawbreaker grunts.
“What is it, Chief?” asks Ari.
“Watch them. Figure out where ground troops go. Then ambush,” Jawbreaker replies.
“I’m on it,” Ari says. He turns into an eagle and flaps his way into the sky. He stays clear of the dragons but soon returns with a report of where a fairly small party of githyanki are.
“We need to be careful,” Naomi reminds the others. “If they’re psionic, they can probably call for help from their friends telepathically.”
“Let’s go,” Jawbreaker commands.
The party moves out. Guided by Ari, they attempt to intercept the enemy’s path far enough ahead of them that they can set up an ambush. They conceal themselves along the edge of the path that the githyanki are following, with Ari scouting in eagle form to ensure that they are in the right place- and to ensure that they are able to cast preparatory spells at the right time. Soon the eagle alerts the others that the foe is near; everyone casts spells, manifests powers and otherwise prepares themselves.
Once the githyanki are on the path right in front of where the party lies in wait, the trap springs! Erasmuz opens the combat with a destruction, which reduces one of the githyanki to black ash. The battle is then truly joined, with the other githyanki fighting for their lives against a terrific halfling onslaught. Fire storms, fireballs, massive axe blows and more- our heroes unleash a terrific amount of punishment on the sallow-skinned githyanki.
They reply in kind. The githyanki are no novices to combat; they are deadly warriors and warlocks. The yellow-skinned creatures wield deadly, wavy-bladed bastard swords, and soon they drip with halfling blood. The githyanki arcanists fire strange eldritch energies at the party, seeking to bring them down. For a few moments the melee looks evenly matched, but then Nara catches one of the githyanki with an impeding permission spell, and that seems to turn the tide.
Then one of the githyanki flees out of the melee, then stops, concentrating. Naomi’s nostrils flare as she detects the scent of burning metal in the air, and she realizes what’s happening. “He’s communicating telepathically!” she exclaims. “We have to kill him, fast!”
“I’ve got it,” Erasmuz says, and casts another flame strike stolen from one god or another. The githyanki is blasted down and destroyed in a pillar of holy fire.
“But was it in time?” Nara wonders.
Ari kills another of the githyanki with a combination of bolts from a call lightning, but even as he does so, he gives a loud, despairing eagle cry. At least one of the mounted dragons is now headed for the battle scene.
On the ground, our heroes finally put the rest of the githyanki party to the sword. Panting, they wipe their weapons and brow. “Now what?” wonders Naomi.
“Psst! Over here!” cries a voice in Halfling.
The party turns to look. The Acorn brothers, the halflings that our heroes met during the Trial of Drinking and that defeated the party in the Trial of Cleverness, are standing next to a shimmering portal.
“Well, come on!” cries Nullick Acorn. “We have to get out of here. This portal will take us back to the outside world.”
“We can’t abandon the Promised Land to these... these no-eaters,” declares Naomi, jiggling her many chins angrily.
“You fools, you can’t defeat them all! There are too many of them, and dragons!”
“You’ll die,” Torck Acorn adds. “This isn’t worth your lives.”
“Yes it is,” Chief Jawbreaker snorts. “Promised Land is here, now. We not run. You run away.” He glares at them. “Pussies.”
“There are more githyanki coming,” Torck says. “The portal is here. You can go through it any time to escape.” He glances skyward and grows pale. Just then, a large shadow moves across the part as something red flies overhead, and with a strangled cry, he darts through the portal and vanishes.
“Please, do the smart thing!” pleads Nullick, and then he leaps after his brother.
“Never,” Naomi says severely. “I will never do the smart thing!”
Next Time: The last halfling update! Will our heroes stand against the githyanki and the dragons? Will they reach the Promised Land? Find out- next time!!