OMG Nightmare player Help advice pls

[fuzzlewump]

Hmmm, not sure why everyone would go running to the husband when their problem is with the wife...

The husband is the DM and part host of the game it seems, so he's the one with the most power to initiate change in the group and perhaps the one the wife would most likely listen to.

Not saying talking to her is wrong but that's why.

 

[pawsplay]

The husband is the DM and part host of the game it seems, so he's the one with the most power to initiate change in the group and perhaps the one the wife would most likely listen to.

Not saying talking to her is wrong but that's why.

Triangulating the wife is more likely to solidify the conflict than to resolve it. If you want the wife to change, and you have a conflict with her, you're usually better off addressing her.

 

[S'mon]

The best solution would be for the game to run somewhere else. My mostly-non-gaming wife used to sometimes get really annoyed by my D&D game running in her house 5 hours on a Sunday; running it elsewhere makes her much happier. Eg you could offer to host it.

If that's not an option, if the wife does actually want to play, I agree with pawsplay that the only possible solution I can see involves talking to her to find out how you can make the game more fun for both of you.

 

[Cor_Malek]

You guys are making this far too difficult. It's actually very easy.

Get a sex change.

Then she'll like you and steer all the phat lewt in the game your way.

I always got the impression that most women hate other women guts, and their cheerfulness to each-other rises exponentially with amount of ill will. Unless OP would manage to always dress slightly worse than, hehe, Dungeon Mistress. But wear Prada's red heels once, and she'll tear your character card to pieces and pretend dog did it, not caring that you know they don't have a dog.

 

[Blair Goatsblood]

Useless, whining, "Diviner" in the party?

Sounds hilarious...I'd keep her in the party for comedy reasons alone.

 

[Wycen]

There's a story (I suspect it's apocryphal) about Ben Franklin asking to barrow a book from a political rival to get on his good side. It worked.

I'm not sure if it was a primary source or secondary source, but that is true from my reading, though I remember it was Franklin ingratiating himself with the stuck up dude.

Anyway, the posters story, having read it fully on the second attempt is interesting in a metagaming sense.

Her character learned another language specifically to understand in-game conversation that she hears in English (I'm presuming). This strikes me as weird. If she got upset from simply hearing the conversation, (again I'm presuming you don't all speak elven when gaming) I'd say she was certainly a problem. But she took the "effort" to have her character be able to catch you by learning another language. Would she do that if she weren't interested in the game? Or is she deviously trying to slowly kill the game?

But what about the DM? It takes two to tango. I can understand the campaign is magic starved/low magic, but it seems to me the experience of rolling to transcribe spells is a thorn in the game. Maybe the DM should dump the roll and just control magic by parcing out the scrolls as he already seems to be doing.

Now the question nobody else asked, "Why 2E?" Has she played other games before and not acted this way? Is this her first game?

As for talking to her or to him, you are boned either way if she really wants to be a disruptive player. Because you are roommates with them both.

 

[Beginning of the End]

There is NO worse player than the DM's girlfriend or wife.

heh. Never works. I gamed with a couple where the wife deliberately sabotaged everything we did, then would giggle and smile at us about it.

You see, too many women are not satisfied with anything other than she must be her man's only world, and will do whatever she can to disrupt anything else the man does.

I always got the impression that most women hate other women guts, and their cheerfulness to each-other rises exponentially with amount of ill will.

The casual sexism and outright misogyny in this thread is kinda disturbing, guys.

 

[Cor_Malek]

The casual sexism and outright misogyny in this thread is kinda disturbing, guys.

The casual quoting and ignoring context is very disturbing as well ;-)

Why on earth any of those would be sexist is, frankly beyond me. Let me elaborate:

"There is NO worse player than the DM's girlfriend or wife." - because they are in relationship, which causes the DM to be overly protective of her, and ignore some of mishavs. Nobody wants to screw up a relationship over a game.

"heh. Never works. I gamed with a couple where the wife deliberately sabotaged everything we did, then would giggle and smile at us about it." - So. A woman giggled. Which according to your outrage apparently insinuates that all women giggle while playing.

"You see, too many women are not satisfied with anything other than she must be her man's only world, and will do whatever she can to disrupt anything else the man does." I can somehow see how that would be a tad sexist, what with overly protectiveness and jealousy working both ways. If not for a little part, where it's posted in this thread. It's perfectly normal in this context. Were I to say that "You see, too many men are not satisfied with anything other than he must be his woman's only man, and will do whatever he can to disrupt anything else she does with groups of male friends.", does that make me double sexist?

"I always got the impression that most women hate other women guts, and their cheerfulness to each-other rises exponentially with amount of ill will." - and would you care to read the post I was referencing to? As we don't know the player, we were using stereotypes, both positive and negative yes. And I'm sorry, but from my experience it's fairly common. I've no idea if it's really true or not, nor what causes it, but it's what I see all around.

For reference: "The casual sexism and outright misogyny in this thread is kinda disturbing, guys." - oh, so you're saying that only guys can be sexist? Misandrist!
Always note the context ;-)

 

[Oryan77]

The casual sexism and outright misogyny in this thread is kinda disturbing, guys.

Just because a man says the word "woman", "girl", "female", "wife", or "girlfriend" followed by a bunch of words doesn't make him a sexist. Lets not start finding insult where there is none. Only Lawful Good Paladins are allowed to do that.

 

[vagabundo]

THIS kind of behavior is what I kick out players for without hesitation. She may be a problem, but players doing the kind of thing you describe is WORSE. Fighting fire with fire is... for fires. In D&D it is only for immature players who have a masochistic drive to be instantly and permenantly despised more than the target of their own displeasure.

Lol I would too. But then I wouldn't let the wife disrupt the game like that either.

He might as well have some fun before he gets kicked - he isn't right now - and she is obviously a loony-toon....